[Denied] IPC whitelist application, BlingX3

[Blingx3]

BYOND Key: Blingx3

Character Names: Chris Outfield, Tony Smith, Joy Smith, Ramadan Hamdani, Jamal Wayton, Sharp Max, Samurai(borg, AI), B.I.B(pAI)

Species you are applying to play: IPC

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): N/A

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes, I have. and I must say I enjoyed it greatly.

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I have played the one species(humans) for so long, I've written a story that I liked about the IPC and wish to carry it out, Also I've considered other species like Skrell and Unathi, interesting as they may sound they were not appealing to me as the IPC species did. In all honestly I don't how I'd role play something like that, in the other hand a Cyborg based IPC I can relate to. I've wanted to expand on the role-play I experienced every time and this was the most interesting path to take compared to other paths

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

As for this character, the major difference is the new enviroment he has to adapt to. the strange feelings, odd surroundings, extreme emotional distress following his serious injury and cyborification, his past, his future. It all comes crashing down on him as he steps into this new life.Friends, family,all of it gone. now a new journey begins. one that hopefully I'll enjoy as will as others.

 

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Character Name: I.C.E

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

A light...

Cold.... I feel...

White wall.... black doors..... big room..... Junk.... robot parts... I see..

Names... dates..objects.. words... memories... Knowledge..

I see... people... bzzt-darkness.. cannot.. see.. clear.. faces...

Past...blocked... memories.. sealed...

Man.. approches.....blond hair... Smith... his name...?

Expressions.... a smile... happiness..!

I .. remember.. movements... control... hands.. feet... heavy... robotic.. !

sensations....surroundings...feel.. odd... perception... enhanced...

In my older life.. I had a name... It doesn't matter anymore. Now.. now I'm known as I.C.E

I've spent most of new life in the lab.. with the scientists that created me.. I've been put to test.. shown pictures.. physical tests.. memory tests.

sometimes.. I have visions.. of my past life. a child..with a smile.. I see her a lot, she calls a name.. my name.. but her face, her face I cannot see. somehow, it is blocked. all the memories of my past life,blocked.. every once in a while a memory visits me .. and presents it self as a dream. I've told the creators.. but nothing they can do about it.. they've told me that it is not possible.. but the details of the dreams seems to make them puzzled.

The head scientist that looks after my well-being is Smith, that's his name and what I'm supposed to call him..

A new life awaits he says, but I feel the old one crawling back.. slowly..

I was not told details about the old life, it would simply hold me back he said.

How would I know, I cannot recall or remember the old life.

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Story:

A project was cooking at Hephaestus Industries in the robotics department, to build a new Cyborg based IPC, The research and scientist Smith was brought on as one of the leaders of this Project, After many weeks and months to land a candidate for this project a man arrived to the lab, well parts of him.. his brain. It was an ERT soldier, NT did not give much about the mission this tropper was on and his service records was blocked, only his name was given, and the reason of his death, an explosion that scattered most of his body, and judging by the state of the body, his head was the last place the explosion reached. The team was thrilled to receive the brain so did not ask much questions to the Branch Chief Drillian Orbusan. The project was underway and after weeks of work, on the chassis and brain.The de-bugging period started, the IPC was booted and the team was rooting out the bugs and errors in the Synthetic-organic connectors and interpreters.

after much work and testing the IPC was finally deemed fully operational and now was sent back to work on one NT research stations, the IPC will report back to the labs every week to be reviewed, the IPC interaction with others will also be documented to for further studies.

What do you like about this character? This character could go either way, it will develope alot of the sides in it's personality based on it's interaction with the crew and it's eagerness to seek new pathes. The new thought-process that this character has after it's borgification makes it focused on serving rather than tangling with minor self-doubting and stray thoughts.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? Very good, if I may say so.

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Notes: PLEASE leave your notes about this story and character, I'd love to expand on any parts that needs expanding and any more information I need to add.

Edited December 24, 2016 by Guest

[MyBadMan]

Hey, I know I memed in the OOC. However, I am actually going to leave some feedback.

First off, I would consider running through with a quick revision (lord knows I could do that on my own app). You have a lot of uncessary commas and confused nouns.

interesting as they may sound they were not appealing to me as the IPC species did. In all honestly I don't how I'd role play something like that, in the other hand a Cyborg based IPC I can relate to. I've wanted to expand on the role-play I experienced every time and this was the most interesting path to take compared to other paths

This is just an example of the clunky sentences written.

That's not why you want feedback, though. When it comes to your character story, I genuinely enjoyed the little bit of 'boot processing' that preceded your character biography. What is lacking is an actual character description. I'm not sure what kind of 'person' I.C.E. is. There is little explanation of him before having been blown to bits. It does not clue the reader into how you will RP the character. What I would consider adding is more of a description of the background of your character. Don't remove anything, just consider beefing it up a little.

What do you like about this character? It will be a new experience, and I'm excited to jump into it

This is not a paragraph. Consider adding something about how RPing this character will be different from your usual characters. Perhaps add something about how this character goes outside of your comfort zone or a piece of its backstory that you do enjoy.

Overall, I have not seen you on station much so I can't testify to your roleplaying ability in great detail. For the few times I have seen you around, I have seen decent RP.

If the app were to be revised, I would be willing to leave a +1.

-MBM

Edit: Change 'don't' to 'do' in my section about the "what do you like about this character".

Edited December 24, 2016 by Guest

[Blingx3]

@MyBadMan

The purpose of giving very little details about his pre-IPC life is because it's not very relivent, the only important fact that he was an ERT tropper, which would give him skills in combat and Space law. the focus here is about the transition and the journey. It was on purpose that I gave few details on his past life. now as regarding character personality, I'll add more to clarify it.

[Blingx3]

Bumb ?

[DatBerry]

is this IPC going to be an I.C.E cold killa?

memes aside, I've known Bling for a good while, and i know they're a very capable roleplayer, all his characters are unique and different from each other without being retarded, snowflakey or other side effects of trying too hard. his synthetics always scare me, which is good, around robots, never relax.

into the app itself, the story feels a bit snowflakey, but not far fetched at all since ERT gets blown up all the time, but i wonder if NT would give out brains to their rival, heph-heph industries. and Smith isn't Tony Smith, is he? because iirc you cant work in two mega corps by law/contract. the story seems recipe for PTSD Valid hunting robocop but knowing how you roleplay I'm sure it wont be an issue.

+1 from me

(P.S: he's security, right?)

[Blingx3]

is this IPC going to be an I.C.E cold killa?

memes aside, I've known Bling for a good while, and i know they're a very capable roleplayer, all his characters are unique and different from each other without being retarded, snowflakey or other side effects of trying too hard. his synthetics always scare me, which is good, around robots, never relax.

into the app itself, the story feels a bit snowflakey, but not far fetched at all since ERT gets blown up all the time, but i wonder if NT would give out brains to their rival, heph-heph industries. and Smith isn't Tony Smith, is he? because iirc you cant work in two mega corps by law/contract. the story seems recipe for PTSD Valid hunting robocop but knowing how you roleplay I'm sure it wont be an issue.

+1 from me

(P.S: he's security, right?)

 

Hey Berry.

Tonys' contract expired at the end of the year and since he moved to the big Heph-Heph. that's why I stopped playing him(apart from two or so shifts). and yes the IPC is propably going to be in security. Thanks for the feedback bobo.

[Muncorn]

Damn, okay so. My apologies, for the delay on this. I've been quite stupid in how I've planned my time as a loredev, in my reply to these, and in all honesty my overall life. But here goes, lets see if I can get this app sorted out after, uh, 2 months, wew.

Now I understand that this app was made before my becoming the synthetic loredev, so you're a bit out of speed on some of the changes, and I similarly don't think you've come to me asking about anything, so lets start on the first problem.

Organic, Brain, IPC's. Before I explain the problem here, lets look at what an MMI does. The purpose of an MMI or other organic based synthetic brains are to allow for more natural memory storage and processing. The thing they do not do is let a regular brain function with the added bonus of controlling a robotic body. When any MMI or related device is created, all connections in the brain are effectively wiped, leaving a blank slate. So what do we see in your design here? What is essentially an MMI of sorts with organic and synthetic components (and apparently positronic components, though I'm going to pretend that's a quirk of wording for my own sake) acting with previous emotion and personality, or at least some semblance of it. This, is not how it works. You either have a proper brain, a posibrain (or microprocessor), or an MMI that is essentially a larger, more naturally formed posibrain. There is no overlap on any of these, so the design you have here would not work, even within old specifications from before I was in charge, and most certainly not now. Secondly, is that an MMI cannot fit into a default IPC chassis, though considering the previous problem this shouldn't cause much issue once that's fixed.

So, first problem done. Problem with that, is that's the entire concept of a character gone, which is not something I'd overtly like to do. I've got a rough idea of a possible fix which keeps the same theme as you have right now, and I'll try and get it formulated for tomorrow. Hit me up on Discord when you can.

A final note, for if this passes or if it doesn't. There will be some changes being made to IPC's tomorrow or Saturday, some that might concern you, and some that might. Either way, something to be aware of.

[CakeIsOssim]

Muncorn brought up some good points and I would like them to be addressed, and I'm going to carry on the application from there. But, if a reply is not posted by the originator in two days (48 hours), this application will be denied.

[CakeIsOssim]

Denied due to inactivity. You are encouraged to reapply should you still wish to play IPC.