[Denied]ReapingDNA - Tajara Whitelist Application

[ReapingDNA]

BYOND Key: ReapingDna

Character Names: William Aster (Human)

Species you are applying to play: Zhan-Khazan Tajara

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Light Grey-furred

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes, but it's a lot to take in, so I've moreso only skimmed its most important details. Your lore is absolutely admirable and in-depth and I love lore so much and I may or may not be having Loregasms ever since coming to Aurora a few days ago from Apollo.

 

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

Back on Apollo, I played this character and he was definitely my most thought-out one. I enjoyed playing him deeply, and had fleshed out his character quite well, from things such as a rather slow adaptation to speaking the galactic common language, having hailed from a small, cultured world outside of the usual Tajaran system (more details on that in his backstory). I'd love to say I had more reasons, but it's more or less that I feel confident with Sabri, having so much experience with him and feel it would assist my roleplaying and make me more enjoyable to play with for others, as well. Sorry there's not much more than that.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Like I said above, it's mostly because this character is fleshed out, but it's also because I have come to know a lot about Baystation Tajara lore---though the addition of all of YOUR guys' amazing lore for them will definitely be something I'll need to study up on as well. Otherwise, I've just come to be able to play a Tajara slightly better than a human, and feel more connected and immersed with them than I do my human characters. Again, sorry there's not more meat to my reasoning, hehe.

 

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Character Name: Sabri Abdulaziz

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Sabri hails not from a standard nation, locked in the thick of the Adhomai conflict, but instead from a small community to the east of the Tunguska region called Ghul, hidden at the base of the mountains in a rare pocket of slightly warmer climate, thanks to the heat being trapped in by the towering natural formations. This village is a rather unknown, separated group known locally for its deep roots in culture, religion, and of course, mining. Due to the latter quality, it has often been that the NKA have attempted to trade or even steal materials from their people to use in their weapon and defenses construction. On the other hand, the village receives more political trade requests from the other two nations from invaders travelling the oceans from the east to close in on the New Adhomai from behind their metaphorical backs.

It is here that Sabri was born into a family of seven, raised religiously and culturally. From a young age, Sabri took up the primitive pickaxes used by the Ghulian peoples, doing manually what most people in Nanotrasen would find laughably barbaric compared to what their devices are capable of. But Nanotrasen, let alone the Alliance or any off-world nation, knew not of the existence of this city, due to much more important matters occuring on the Tajaran homeworld. Even the other Adhomai people had quite basic ties to the un-modernized community outside of the constant harassment for their mineral rights.

This is how it was, for eighteen years for Sabri. But then things changed when the NKA arrived, now deciding to use more...force. They took down any resistance and conquered the small village within an evening, keeping the remaining inhabitants as new members of their faction, assuming they did not refuse and attempt to return to their old ways. Sabri and his family were some of these survivors, reluctantly accepting the dominance of their new leaders, but this sudden change, along with NKA assigning their own mining crews to disassemble the Ghulian mines with their advanced equipment, pushed the Abdulaziz clan to a dangerous economic state. They were going to lose their home, possibly along with their lives, if they could not find a new means to supply for themselves. This pushed Sabri, the only able, yet middle child, of the family to take matters into his own hands. After much discussion, it was decided that Sabri would take the majority of the remainder of his family's savings to find a way off-world, and find a position among the company known as Nanotrasen, which had become a sort of paradise dream among the people of Ghul from the rumors they had now heard of this group during the months after their takeover. Managing to hitch a ride, the young Tajaran found his way to Nanotrasen's Tau Ceti headquarters, the Odin, under the pretense of desiring employee. Saying farewell to his family, whom were quite proud once they understood the nature of their son and brother's new employment, the Ghulian native departed to begin an employment in Nanotrasen's phoron mining, and moreover escape the war that he had fought for many years to remain neutral in with his people.

Three years later, Sabri has learned the basics of the more advanced culture and technological advancements of Nanotrasen, and to a degree become modernized. But there is still much he is learning, including how to speak the languages of his new coworkers, as well as how to fit in with the society he is now a part of.

His employment has led him to be deployed to the NSS Aurora, where new adventures await him...

Oh, and did I mention he likes cooking? Centcomm likes putting him up to that task now and then too, with his quite skilled preparation of cultural Ghulian meals, filled with spices imported from said region. Those with mature palates will most certainly enjoy the shifts that he works the kitchen.

What do you like about this character?

How passive and different from other Tajara he is with his more keep-to-himself personality. and it's enjoyable to play as a character who is still learning how to operate with others, and becoming a more...open person as he goes. Moreover, I love the lore I have created for the custom village (originally another system and world)

he has hailed from, and it's very fun to incorporate it into his roleplay as much as I can. I just love Sabri to bits, and all the work I've done in making his personality, character, and backstory!

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

I think I'm pretty decent. I'm big on immersion, and I write a lot, it being kinda my only talent. Recently, due to cognitive health problems, my descriptive ability's been a bit lacking (as you may have noticed in the application's shitty word choice and such), but I try my best to act as real and personal with my characters as I can. I was told that when I played Changeling during my first round here that me and my team were probably some of the best lings that the server had seen in some time, so that was definitely a morale boost right there!

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Notes: I might make this backstory a bit more detailed later on, I wrote it at midnight and was getting kind of tired. Sorry about that.

Edited August 26, 2017 by Guest

[Fire and Glory]

Coughs.

There are a fair few problems here. or just one big problem, in hindsight.

Firstly, it is not possible for the Tajara to have colonized another planet and then forget about it, small or not. It is even more impossible for them to do so while having no idea of humanity's existence and their technology. Before first-contact, Tajara did not have the faintest hint of space-flight technology, after first-contact, their disruptive uplifting gave them everything they'd need for any hypothetical colonists to not regress into primitives with no clue of galactic events.

Even ignoring that, a second planet colonized by Tajara would be such a change in the lore as to require more than a whitelist app to canonize it.

Although.....

It seems like most things here are more or less compatible with a normal, Adhomaian born kitty.

 

• [*]

  From a young age, Sabri took up the primitive pickaxes used by the Ghulian peoples, doing manually what most people in Nanotrasen would find laughably barbaric compared to what their devices are capable of. But Nanotrasen, let alone the Alliance, knew nothing of Janbiya or Ghul, even the Adhomai people having quite basic ties to their kind.

  Planet inhabited by fairly primitive people being discovered by humanity? Adhomai did that. And although the planet did have technology like combustion engines and the like before first contact, depending on where you lived you might not see any of that at all, might as well be a myth for all you know.
  

  
  

  Hell, if you really wanted to maintain a lot of this, you could probably try something like some community of Tajara cut off from most of the planet living somewhere or other for a bunch of decades (or a century I guess and only being discovered by some band of Tajara or such recently.
  

  
  

  It would be a bit of a stretch in the lore but it's more lore friendly than an entire planet of people being undiscovered by the galactic community for some reason.

 

 

[*]

But then things changed when a passing Nanotrasen-employed exploration crew accidentally stumbled upon the world. They came down amongst the people, terrifying and confusing them with their advanced technology and strange mannerism.

First contact was a lot like this for Adhomaian Tajara too.

 

[*]

Three years later, Sabri has learned the basics of the more advanced culture and technological advancements of Nanotrasen, and to a degree become modernized. But there is still much he is learning, including how to speak the languages of his new coworkers, as well as how to fit in with the society he is now a part of.

A large amount of Adhomai Tajara would be in the same shoes.

 

 

[*]Personally I would just utilize the regular S'rand'marr religion due to all the similarities but regardless, there are more than three religions on Adhomai thus one could probably pick up a weirder off-shoot depending on where they lived.

In closing, it seems like the person himself could be transplanted to our own lore without many pains (either as some forgotten community I am sketchy about or as a normal community that lives a good distance away from the technology centers of the planet, which is perfectly plausible), but the form it takes right now just seems to conveniently sidestep most of everything relevant by Tajara by coming from another planet with little to no connection to their origins.

Finally, there is this which I thought should be waved in case you got some other ideas.

https://forums.aurorastation.org/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=4730#p80034

[ReapingDNA]

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I suppose that could work then, too. Hell, I could call said community "Ghul" anyway, and it could be a small mining village hidden on Adhomai. I think I could even to a degree keep the idea of a slightly warmer portion of Adhomai too, though obviously not to the degree that Ghul would have been. And as such, they'll likely still follow the base religion, but perhaps their solitude has mutated it still EVER so slightly.

This would mean that some Nanotrasen employees could still have very well been investigating Adhomai's ancient lore and some ruins when they perhaps came across Ghul, and from there everything would stay probably roughly the same.

Thanks for your time in giving me such specifities and helping me flesh out another way of making this work.

[ReapingDNA]

They were likely separate from the civil war as well, and this would likely help quite a bit with Sabri's character---explaining why he is more passive, hailing from a community ignorant of this horrible conflict.

[DatBerry]

They were likely separate from the civil war as well, and this would likely help quite a bit with Sabri's character---explaining why he is more passive, hailing from a community ignorant of this horrible conflict.

 

Sabri can be from such village, but then you will have to make a new character for the whitelist app. one that is somehow involved or heavily affected by the civil war.

[ReapingDNA]

They were likely separate from the civil war as well, and this would likely help quite a bit with Sabri's character---explaining why he is more passive, hailing from a community ignorant of this horrible conflict.

 

Sabri can be from such village, but then you will have to make a new character for the whitelist app. one that is somehow involved or heavily affected by the civil war.

 

That uh, seems like a kinda dumb rule. That would make every single person who plays a Tajara all affected by the war, which seems kind of unrealistic. There's other ways one could show off their knowledge of current events, imo.

[ReapingDNA]

To clarify, I'd be more than willing to just write some sort of tiny essay thing on the war instead. I don't have any real desire to make a whole character up just for the purpose of that. Though I could perhaps also write a sort of short mini-story of similar length about some Tajaran affected by the war too, I guess.

[ReapingDNA]

Thinking about it more, I suppose maybe an example of World War I and II did kind of affect everyone, even minutely, so if this Civil War was/is anything like that, perhaps I could edit things a bit so Sabri's village was affected to some degree. I need to do more reading about this war. As much as I love how dedicated and in-depth your lore is, Christ is it challenging to memorize it all lol

[DatBerry]

Thinking about it more, I suppose maybe an example of World War I and II did kind of affect everyone, even minutely, so if this Civil War was/is anything like that, perhaps I could edit things a bit so Sabri's village was affected to some degree. I need to do more reading about this war. As much as I love how dedicated and in-depth your lore is, Christ is it challenging to memorize it all lol

 

Oh you misunderstood me, the requirement is that the whitelist character that you may not even play has to be effected, you may never play the character. though tajara who were raised off planet are rare, and even more so rarer that they don't care about their planet being locked in a 3 way world war.

[ReapingDNA]

Okay, I think I'll just change Sabri's village to be slightly more involved in the matter. I have a good idea now that will blend seamlessly. I just need to read more about the war first.

[ReapingDNA]

Alright, I've edited his backstory. He still for the most part sticks to the basis I established for him, so I'm still content.

[Fire and Glory]

Oh you misunderstood me, the requirement is that the whitelist character that you may not even play has to be effected, you may never play the character. though tajara who were raised off planet are rare, and even more so rarer that they don't care about their planet being locked in a 3 way world war.

The rule is merely that the Tajaran has to be born on Adhomai, raised by Tajara, no?

Although I am sure loresmen might get salty if they were completely isolated from the war too, so that's good.

 

NKoA

Traditionally it is spelt "NKA".

There are a few, minor things I have problems with (and they're mostly things I cannot speak authoritatively about) but I feel the backstory is a fair sight easier to take in now.

I am dubious on whether Nanotrasen would send explorers trudging around Adhomai.

Given that the community had already done negotiations with the rest of Adhomai, surely there'd be one or two negotiators who could speak Siik'mass when talking with the outside world?

Being sent to Nanotrasen headquarters seems a fair bit like special treatment, especially when you consider that said headquarters is somewhere in the Sol Alliance which is fairly unfriendly to aliens. I'd consider it far more likely that he ended up on the NTCC Odin which is the primary hub station for Nanotrasen's operations in Tau Ceti which better inclined towards aliens.

For the most part I am now content to leave this for when the loreguy arrives at any rate.

[ReapingDNA]

I wasn't entirely sure about the headquarters thing either. Flip that with the Odin and that fixes that. I merely didn't really know any good place where new recruits might be taken.

[ReapingDNA]

Alright, fixed everything else up too. Well, as much as I could without compromising anything.

Thanks a lot for your assistance and tips, by the way!

[Mofo1995]

I will be responding to this either tonight or tomorrow night, I'm sorry for the delay.

[ReapingDNA]

I will be responding to this either tonight or tomorrow night, I'm sorry for the delay.

 

No worries at all! I've been working on developing my human character a bit more anyway, as well as studying up Tajara lore a bit more.

[ReapingDNA]

I will be responding to this either tonight or tomorrow night, I'm sorry for the delay.

 

No worries at all! I've been working on developing my human character a bit more anyway, as well as studying up Tajara lore a bit more.

 

Uh, speaking of which by the way, I had a question. I know it's kinda not very professional to ask about it here, but I was wondering if it's possible that my human, whom studied on Adhomai in their Nal'tor College, to have learned a bit of Siik'maas from being amongst Tajara so much. ICly I imagine he would have picked up a bit of it, but OOCly I'm not sure if there's a way to incorporate this into his list of languages?

[Fire and Glory]

Uh, speaking of which by the way, I had a question. I know it's kinda not very professional to ask about it here, but I was wondering if it's possible that my human, whom studied on Adhomai in their Nal'tor College, to have learned a bit of Siik'maas from being amongst Tajara so much. ICly I imagine he would have picked up a bit of it, but OOCly I'm not sure if there's a way to incorporate this into his list of languages?

There is no framework for it, you would need to convince staff in the suggestions forum to allow people to know certain alien languages through either some sort of official application for each character or to let everyone do it.

[Mofo1995]

BYOND Key: ReapingDna

Character Names: William Aster (Human)

Species you are applying to play: Zhan-Khazan Tajara

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Light Grey-furred

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes, but it's a lot to take in, so I've moreso only skimmed its most important details. Your lore is absolutely admirable and in-depth and I love lore so much and I may or may not be having Loregasms ever since coming to Aurora a few days ago from Apollo.

 

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

Back on Apollo, I played this character and he was definitely my most thought-out one. I enjoyed playing him deeply, and had fleshed out his character quite well, from things such as a rather slow adaptation to speaking the galactic common language, having hailed from a small, cultured world outside of the usual Tajaran system (more details on that in his backstory). I'd love to say I had more reasons, but it's more or less that I feel confident with Sabri, having so much experience with him and feel it would assist my roleplaying and make me more enjoyable to play with for others, as well. Sorry there's not much more than that.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Like I said above, it's mostly because this character is fleshed out, but it's also because I have come to know a lot about Baystation Tajara lore---though the addition of all of YOUR guys' amazing lore for them will definitely be something I'll need to study up on as well. Otherwise, I've just come to be able to play a Tajara slightly better than a human, and feel more connected and immersed with them than I do my human characters. Again, sorry there's not more meat to my reasoning, hehe.

 

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Character Name: Sabri Abdulaziz

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Sabri hails not from a standard nation, locked in the thick of the Adhomai conflict, but instead from a small community to the east of the Tunguska region called Ghul, hidden at the base of the mountains in a rare pocket of slightly warmer climate, thanks to the heat being trapped in by the towering natural formations. This village is a rather unknown, separated group known locally for its deep roots in culture, religion, and of course, mining. Due to the latter quality, it has often been that the NKA have attempted to trade or even steal materials from their people to use in their weapon and defenses construction. On the other hand, the village receives more political trade requests from the other two nations from invaders travelling the oceans from the east to close in on the New Adhomai from behind their metaphorical backs.

It is here that Sabri was born into a family of seven, raised religiously and culturally. From a young age, Sabri took up the primitive pickaxes used by the Ghulian peoples, doing manually what most people in Nanotrasen would find laughably barbaric compared to what their devices are capable of. But Nanotrasen, let alone the Alliance or any off-world nation, knew not of the existence of this city, due to much more important matters occuring on the Tajaran homeworld. Even the other Adhomai people had quite basic ties to the un-modernized community outside of the constant harassment for their mineral rights.

This is how it was, for eighteen years for Sabri. But then things changed when a passing group of daring Nanotrasen-employed explorers accidentally stumbled upon the area while performing an analysis of the current state of the civil war. They came down amongst the independant people, terrifying and confusing them with their advanced technology and strange mannerism, almost like a complete rehash of their species' first contact. But eventually, things were sorted out and the peoples socialized and gave gifts to the Nanotrasen employees, showering them with cultural practices and teaching them their unique lore. That was when Sabri was found by one of the members of the crew whom was investigating the mining set-ups. To clarify, Sabri is a rather uncharacteristically patient, socially unkempt being, and the interactions were mostly one-wayed. But that was when a cave-in nearly took the life of the crewman. It was thanks to quick work on Sabri's part that he managed to save the visitor in time from a stone-cold demise, injuring himself in the process slightly. The crewmember fixed Sabri up, happening to be the crew's onboard medic, and then brought him back to the ship. After much discussion, it was decided that Sabri would embark with them back to their home base, and then later to Nanotrasen's Tau Ceti headquarters, the Odin. Saying farewell to his family, whom were quite proud once they understood the nature of their son and brother's new employment, the Ghulian native departed to begin an employment in Nanotrasen's phoron mining, and moreover escape the war that he had fought for many years to remain neutral in with his people.

Three years later, Sabri has learned the basics of the more advanced culture and technological advancements of Nanotrasen, and to a degree become modernized. But there is still much he is learning, including how to speak the languages of his new coworkers, as well as how to fit in with the society he is now a part of.

His employment has led him to be deployed to the NSS Aurora, where new adventures await him...

Oh, and did I mention he likes cooking? Centcomm likes putting him up to that task now and then too, with his quite skilled preparation of cultural Ghulian meals, filled with spices imported from said region. Those with mature palates will most certainly enjoy the shifts that he works the kitchen.

What do you like about this character?

How passive and different from other Tajara he is with his more keep-to-himself personality. and it's enjoyable to play as a character who is still learning how to operate with others, and becoming a more...open person as he goes. Moreover, I love the lore I have created for the custom village (originally another system and world)

he has hailed from, and it's very fun to incorporate it into his roleplay as much as I can. I just love Sabri to bits, and all the work I've done in making his personality, character, and backstory!

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

I think I'm pretty decent. I'm big on immersion, and I write a lot, it being kinda my only talent. Recently, due to cognitive health problems, my descriptive ability's been a bit lacking (as you may have noticed in the application's shitty word choice and such), but I try my best to act as real and personal with my characters as I can. I was told that when I played Changeling during my first round here that me and my team were probably some of the best lings that the server had seen in some time, so that was definitely a morale boost right there!

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Notes: I might make this backstory a bit more detailed later on, I wrote it at midnight and was getting kind of tired. Sorry about that.

 

So here's the thing, I really don't see any room for an independent fourth faction, especially not something as small as a village, on Adhomai. The global domination of the People's Republic of Adhomai was absolute following the first great war, so unless if this village was 100% secluded, there's no escaping the taxman. Going forward, I sincerely see no reason why any of the factions would bother trying to strike up deals or negotiations or trade when any of them could just move in and take what they want by force. All of the three factions are trying to assert themselves as the global government, all within and none without. You use village and city interchangeably when referring to Ghul, so it's a bit difficult for me to discern size here. But I will say this: anything bigger than a village would be found and assimilated by someone. And an independent city state just wouldn't do.

I'm willing to accept and handwave a group of NanoTrasen explorers stumbling upon and recruiting from Ghul, but given that the People's Republic of Adhomai is in NT's sphere of influence and carries with it the hopes of avoiding sunk cost for all their investments into Adhomai, such a previously hidden village would be forever changed by discovery and probably forced into the People's Republic.

While it's... a bit of a snowflake stretch, I'm okay with the concept of Ghul being a small hidden village, even with a warmer equatorial (by Adhomai standards) climate. But in its current state it would have had no hope for self determination. There's plenty of ways you can change this, but two suggestions come to my mind. Maybe Sabri left or had to leave the village for some reason and got swept up in the outside world, somehow landing a work contract with NanoTrasen. Or, maybe Sabri's village was discovered and brought to heel, causing Sabri to leave Adhomai in disgust (or adventure) to make money for his family (or himself.)

Your character doesn't seem problematic, and looking at the info linked to your ckey, you have a fair bit of playtime under your belt. My biggest concern lies with the difficulty in translating the lore which you may have learned from other servers over to our lore. After all, you've stated that Sabri is an imported character. My caution is to make sure when you reference lore that it's our server's lore and not some other servers, as I've seen people get tripped up over the transition before, and occasionally come over and do no studying of our wiki. Your application hits a few notes of Tajara lore, and certainly captures the aesthetic. But, so far it doesn't strike me as capturing the understanding. But I think the reason for that sentiment is the bizarre detachment from Adhomai which Ghul currently has as a potential city state with factions vying for its mineral rights. Lore for civilization in the Ha'marr mountains is largely unwrit so far as it was previously assumed to be uninhabited wilderness (though in my planned update for the map, it goes green for NKA since I felt it was far too equatorial to be considered frozen wasteland) so I can't exactly blame you for your pioneering into the unwritten to carve your own path. Once the problems are addressed, I will be glad to judge your application.

[ReapingDNA]

BYOND Key: ReapingDna

Character Names: William Aster (Human)

Species you are applying to play: Zhan-Khazan Tajara

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Light Grey-furred

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes, but it's a lot to take in, so I've moreso only skimmed its most important details. Your lore is absolutely admirable and in-depth and I love lore so much and I may or may not be having Loregasms ever since coming to Aurora a few days ago from Apollo.

 

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---

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

Back on Apollo, I played this character and he was definitely my most thought-out one. I enjoyed playing him deeply, and had fleshed out his character quite well, from things such as a rather slow adaptation to speaking the galactic common language, having hailed from a small, cultured world outside of the usual Tajaran system (more details on that in his backstory). I'd love to say I had more reasons, but it's more or less that I feel confident with Sabri, having so much experience with him and feel it would assist my roleplaying and make me more enjoyable to play with for others, as well. Sorry there's not much more than that.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Like I said above, it's mostly because this character is fleshed out, but it's also because I have come to know a lot about Baystation Tajara lore---though the addition of all of YOUR guys' amazing lore for them will definitely be something I'll need to study up on as well. Otherwise, I've just come to be able to play a Tajara slightly better than a human, and feel more connected and immersed with them than I do my human characters. Again, sorry there's not more meat to my reasoning, hehe.

 

---

---

Character Name: Sabri Abdulaziz

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Sabri hails not from a standard nation, locked in the thick of the Adhomai conflict, but instead from a small community to the east of the Tunguska region called Ghul, hidden at the base of the mountains in a rare pocket of slightly warmer climate, thanks to the heat being trapped in by the towering natural formations. This village is a rather unknown, separated group known locally for its deep roots in culture, religion, and of course, mining. Due to the latter quality, it has often been that the NKA have attempted to trade or even steal materials from their people to use in their weapon and defenses construction. On the other hand, the village receives more political trade requests from the other two nations from invaders travelling the oceans from the east to close in on the New Adhomai from behind their metaphorical backs.

It is here that Sabri was born into a family of seven, raised religiously and culturally. From a young age, Sabri took up the primitive pickaxes used by the Ghulian peoples, doing manually what most people in Nanotrasen would find laughably barbaric compared to what their devices are capable of. But Nanotrasen, let alone the Alliance or any off-world nation, knew not of the existence of this city, due to much more important matters occuring on the Tajaran homeworld. Even the other Adhomai people had quite basic ties to the un-modernized community outside of the constant harassment for their mineral rights.

This is how it was, for eighteen years for Sabri. But then things changed when a passing group of daring Nanotrasen-employed explorers accidentally stumbled upon the area while performing an analysis of the current state of the civil war. They came down amongst the independant people, terrifying and confusing them with their advanced technology and strange mannerism, almost like a complete rehash of their species' first contact. But eventually, things were sorted out and the peoples socialized and gave gifts to the Nanotrasen employees, showering them with cultural practices and teaching them their unique lore. That was when Sabri was found by one of the members of the crew whom was investigating the mining set-ups. To clarify, Sabri is a rather uncharacteristically patient, socially unkempt being, and the interactions were mostly one-wayed. But that was when a cave-in nearly took the life of the crewman. It was thanks to quick work on Sabri's part that he managed to save the visitor in time from a stone-cold demise, injuring himself in the process slightly. The crewmember fixed Sabri up, happening to be the crew's onboard medic, and then brought him back to the ship. After much discussion, it was decided that Sabri would embark with them back to their home base, and then later to Nanotrasen's Tau Ceti headquarters, the Odin. Saying farewell to his family, whom were quite proud once they understood the nature of their son and brother's new employment, the Ghulian native departed to begin an employment in Nanotrasen's phoron mining, and moreover escape the war that he had fought for many years to remain neutral in with his people.

Three years later, Sabri has learned the basics of the more advanced culture and technological advancements of Nanotrasen, and to a degree become modernized. But there is still much he is learning, including how to speak the languages of his new coworkers, as well as how to fit in with the society he is now a part of.

His employment has led him to be deployed to the NSS Aurora, where new adventures await him...

Oh, and did I mention he likes cooking? Centcomm likes putting him up to that task now and then too, with his quite skilled preparation of cultural Ghulian meals, filled with spices imported from said region. Those with mature palates will most certainly enjoy the shifts that he works the kitchen.

What do you like about this character?

How passive and different from other Tajara he is with his more keep-to-himself personality. and it's enjoyable to play as a character who is still learning how to operate with others, and becoming a more...open person as he goes. Moreover, I love the lore I have created for the custom village (originally another system and world)

he has hailed from, and it's very fun to incorporate it into his roleplay as much as I can. I just love Sabri to bits, and all the work I've done in making his personality, character, and backstory!

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

I think I'm pretty decent. I'm big on immersion, and I write a lot, it being kinda my only talent. Recently, due to cognitive health problems, my descriptive ability's been a bit lacking (as you may have noticed in the application's shitty word choice and such), but I try my best to act as real and personal with my characters as I can. I was told that when I played Changeling during my first round here that me and my team were probably some of the best lings that the server had seen in some time, so that was definitely a morale boost right there!

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Notes: I might make this backstory a bit more detailed later on, I wrote it at midnight and was getting kind of tired. Sorry about that.

 

So here's the thing, I really don't see any room for an independent fourth faction, especially not something as small as a village, on Adhomai. The global domination of the People's Republic of Adhomai was absolute following the first great war, so unless if this village was 100% secluded, there's no escaping the taxman. Going forward, I sincerely see no reason why any of the factions would bother trying to strike up deals or negotiations or trade when any of them could just move in and take what they want by force. All of the three factions are trying to assert themselves as the global government, all within and none without. You use village and city interchangeably when referring to Ghul, so it's a bit difficult for me to discern size here. But I will say this: anything bigger than a village would be found and assimilated by someone. And an independent city state just wouldn't do.

I'm willing to accept and handwave a group of NanoTrasen explorers stumbling upon and recruiting from Ghul, but given that the People's Republic of Adhomai is in NT's sphere of influence and carries with it the hopes of avoiding sunk cost for all their investments into Adhomai, such a previously hidden village would be forever changed by discovery and probably forced into the People's Republic.

While it's... a bit of a snowflake stretch, I'm okay with the concept of Ghul being a small hidden village, even with a warmer equatorial (by Adhomai standards) climate. But in its current state it would have had no hope for self determination. There's plenty of ways you can change this, but two suggestions come to my mind. Maybe Sabri left or had to leave the village for some reason and got swept up in the outside world, somehow landing a work contract with NanoTrasen. Or, maybe Sabri's village was discovered and brought to heel, causing Sabri to leave Adhomai in disgust (or adventure) to make money for his family (or himself.)

Your character doesn't seem problematic, and looking at the info linked to your ckey, you have a fair bit of playtime under your belt. My biggest concern lies with the difficulty in translating the lore which you may have learned from other servers over to our lore. After all, you've stated that Sabri is an imported character. My caution is to make sure when you reference lore that it's our server's lore and not some other servers, as I've seen people get tripped up over the transition before, and occasionally come over and do no studying of our wiki. Your application hits a few notes of Tajara lore, and certainly captures the aesthetic. But, so far it doesn't strike me as capturing the understanding. But I think the reason for that sentiment is the bizarre detachment from Adhomai which Ghul currently has as a potential city state with factions vying for its mineral rights. Lore for civilization in the Ha'marr mountains is largely unwrit so far as it was previously assumed to be uninhabited wilderness (though in my planned update for the map, it goes green for NKA since I felt it was far too equatorial to be considered frozen wasteland) so I can't exactly blame you for your pioneering into the unwritten to carve your own path. Once the problems are addressed, I will be glad to judge your application.

 

I could see the latter suggestion working, and appreciate you not just throwing my whole idea with the village out. I wasn't attempting to be 'snowflakey' so much as I thought it would be not really unheard of for there to be SOME unknown areas of Adhomai, since it's an entire WORLD after all, even being just two continents. That was more a minor detail for me, but was also somewhat key to Sabri since I intended for him to be a rather 'foreign' figure, still figuring out the outside world/universe. I made sure it was your lore, yeah. Perhaps then it was the NKA that took over the village for its mining rights.

Uh, also, I couldn't find myself calling Ghul a city at any point. It was always a village. Maybe I'm missing something? But anyway, I suppose I could just change things just a bit to have the NKA do their thing, and Sabri heading out and getting caught up in doing some Nanotrasen work. I'll get to that then, soon. Just feeling a bit ill recently.

[ReapingDNA]

I suppose it's still rather...moderate in detail compared to what it could be, but I'm still kind of getting over this illness of mine and I reckon it'll do nicely, especially considering you already said that everything else about me checks out. Regardless to say, I have edited Sabri's origins now, to accommodate your requests.

[Mofo1995]

Still not quite right. You see, my whole point was that no one would take the time to try and negotiate, steal, or trade with this village. The moment it was discovered it would've been brought under a faction. So you're closer, but still need to go a little farther with editing the backstory in your introductory paragraph.

A few other points to note have come to my attention though. Namely the focus on pickaxes as primitive for some reason. One of the biggest problems facing Adhomai is the struggle to mechanize the work force and bring hardy cost effective machinery to the masses for day to day operations. A lot of people are still subsistence farming to a greater or lesser degree using outdated ploughs, hand tools, and beasts of burden. So, a pickaxe wouldn't be some strangely laughable primitive tool. The NKA and the Kaltir region in general, while known for its rich traditionalist culture, is also known for being a bit behind the curve on technology from its separation from alien races, unlike the PRA and ALA.

A few more things come to mind. What, precisely, is culturally unique about Ghul and Ghulians as opposed to the rest of Tajara, exactly? What are its deep roots to religion and culture? For whom and why are they mining? After all, large mining operations are usually performed with the intent to trade for goods, its not like they can eat their minerals.

[Mofo1995]

Application denied.