Jump to content

Being a Tricky Dick: A Guide to Detective.

Recommended Posts

Work in progress. I will add to this continuously as time goes on.

So you want to be the brains behind Security's brawn. The loose cannon operative that roots out evil wherever it hides. A good Detective is the bane of any antagonist, and unique in that it doesn't rely on stunbatons and guns to catch the bad guys, but rather the brains of the guy behind the screen controlling your own pixelized noir cliche.

Before we get into the skinny, let me make one thing perfectly clear:

Familarize yourself with Security Officer first. Do not fucking play Detective if you don't know the ins and outs of being a sec officer.

Got that out of the way? Good. Let's begin.

Your Office. Your Sanctuary. Your Castle.

One of the best perks to being Detective is that you get your own special office.


Pretty cool, huh?

Your office is where your theories form and antagonist dreams go to die. Bask in it's glory, keep it tidy, and keep it clean. Rearrange the items within however you like it. You can hold interviews and interrogations in there as well, but be careful. If things go south you won't have security officers with the access to readily assist you. Try and limit who you welcome into your sanctuary to people you can trust. Use the interrogation room for criminals, and your office for witness statements and interviews. In your office are a few key things that will help you go about your business

  • Security records console - Pretty self explanatory. You can use it to cross-reference fingerprints and see what Calvin Cherry got arrested for yet again. Most people don't actually bother to fill out Sec records,

  • Medical records console - Unlike your plebian colleagues, you get access to medical records for cross-referencing DNA from saliva and blood samples. That's really all you should be using it for, and not to advise someone on their prescription dosage.[*]A camera monitor - The big old-timey television in the top right corner is a repurposed camera monitoring console. It's one of a kind, so don't break it. Use it to skim through cameras or spy on the Cargo Techs ERPing when you have nothing pressing to attend to.
  • Two folders - For storing paperwork.
  • A filing cabinet - For storing even more paperwork. You're going to do a lot of paperwork.
  • Bulletin board - For posting up your latest leads and playing out your paranoid conspiracy theorist fantasies.
  • Photocopier - Copying things, obviously. You can order more toner from Cargo if you run out, or just grab a wrench and do the ol' switcharoo with the CSI's printer. Seriously, fuck that guy.
  • Electrochromic Windows - The windows surrounding your office are, in fact, tinted! The button on your desk can tint the windows, giving you much needed privacy for ERP investigations. Make sure they don't get broken, because as far as I know engineering can't replace them. Just don't be one of those shitectives who leave their office tinted all round for no reason.


The Tools of the Trade

As the Detective, you get a wide variety of tools to employ to help you in your investigations. They are as follows.

  • B>B>B> Three uniforms to choose from - Detective uniform regulations require them to adopt a business-casual style. Their uniforms come in three flavors: a white dress shirt with brown slacks, a white dress shirt with black slacks and a tie, and a black vest over a white shirt and tie with black slacks. Mix and match as you please. Unlike your more brutish comrades, you have the luxury of affording style over function, so mix and match at your leisure and experiment for what look you like the best.
  • B>B>Brown and grey trenchcoats with matching hats - You get two flavors of fancy trenchcoats and fedoras to wear. Remember, they're not stupid if the Detective is wearing them, they're stylish! They're armored and the coats have two pockets for storing things like your speed loaders or cigarettes and lighter. The grey coat and hat are unique in the fact that there is an small RNG chance that they will spawn in as another color, ranging from purple, to yellow, to white. They can also be colored with paint ordered from Cargo.
  • B>Ordinary black gloves - Simple black fiber gloves. You spawn with these, and have a spare in your locker. Keep them on at all times to avoid muddying up crime scenes.
  • B>Your trusty .38 revolver - Your best friend and your most reliable comrade, way more reliable than anyone in Security. Just be warned. This is a lethal weapon that fires lethal bullets. Only use it if you feel there is a severe threat to yourself or others that cannot be subdued through words, a flash or some robust wrestling and that backup is too far away. You spawn with two speed loaders of .38 Special. If you ask nicely, Science or Cargo might just hack their autolathe so they can be able to produce more. You can also acquire a rubber alternative so you can be a bit more shooty with your gun. There are incendiary and EMP .38 rounds, or so I heard, but I have yet to see them. As far as I'm aware, they're adminbus only. If you right click your revolver while it's in your hand, you can give it a name to personalize it and make it truly your own. Pretty weak compared to other ballistic weapons, as it only does 25 brute, but it's strength lies in fractures and shrapnel and being readily available at round-start, so aim for the chest.
  • Tape recorder - Used for recording interrogations, interviews, and witness statements. Has a variety of other uses as well as the ability to translate almost any spoken language. Right click it to receive a variety of options related to data recording.
  • Camera - A specialized polaroid camera with ten uses. Good for taking pictures of crime scenes, evidence and crimes in progress. Photographic evidence is even more solid than witnesses and forensic evidence,

    so start snapping away. If you run out, you have a roll of extra photos in your office.
  • Hand labeler - A device for labeling things. Pretty handy. Just make sure to turn it off before setting it down, but if you forget, you can remove labels by right clicking whatever you mislabeled. My advice: label your gloves, coat and uniform with a unique identifier so you can tell your fibers apart from others. They'll show up as fibers from the article of clothing you labeled.


The next are items the Detective does not spawn with, but should consider grabbing to assist with their investigations. Pepperspray is not on here because pepperspray is more useless than the large quantities of the furry art depicting cat girls with tits that you use to depict your Tajaran because Tajarans don't have breasts you fucking furry.


  • Handcuffs - A simple pair of handcuffs. You should know how to use these. Only take one, since you should not be putting yourself in a position where you need to subdue and detain multiple people. Call for backup if that happens. The Warden can restock the vendor if there are no cuffs left.
  • Flash - Your non-lethal bread and butter. Click man and he becomes horizontal, giving you ample to slap some cuffs on or call for backup.
  • Maglight - A high-powered flashlight that can be used in a pinch as a bludgeoning weapon. Does 10 brute damage. Only four of these spawn in the equipment room, so at round start run your ass over there before those plebian officers can take them all.
  • Crowbar - Something every crewmember should have handy in case of emergencies. They can save your life, so grab one. They can force firelocks and open airlocks when there is no power. They only do 5 brute damage, though, or so I'm told. The red ones do slightly more damage. Four spawn along with the maglights at roundstart, so rush and grab one.
  • Rubber .38 Special - For when you want to be a little bit more shooty with your gun without killing anyone. Science and cargo's autolathes can produce them by default, no hacking required. Aim for the legs. Get three, empty your revolver, load one loader in and fill your empty one with the lethal .38 you just emptied, and label the loader as 'not rubber'.
  • Tablet with Security programs - Very, very useful, especially for when the station goes to hell and you need to stay light on your feet and/or can't return to the Brig. Science can produce these, but good luck finding someone that actually bothers to know how. You can access cameras from tablets with Security programs loaded while anywhere on the station, making it excellent for observing an area you know you might have to start fighting in. They have a short battery life, so don't leave them on unnecessarily. If they run out of juice, you can use a standard recharger like the ones in the firing range or the library to recharge it.
  • Telescopic baton - The ultimate in non-lethal weaponry. There are only two on station, however and they spawn in the Captain and HoS' lockers. No worries. At some point in a round, the HoS or Captain will eat it. When that happens, drop everything you are fucking doing and run the fuck to their body and GET THAT FUCKING TELEBATON. LOOT THE CORPSE OF YOUR FORMER BOSS AND GRAB THAT EBONY ROD OF ROBUSTITUDE. LOVE IT. STROKE IT. CARESS IT. KISS IT. BECOME ONE WITH THE TELEBATON AND WHEN THEY ASK WHERE IT WENT, SAY YOU DON'T KNOW. Hitting someone in the legs with a telescopic baton on harm intent will knock them down for some time, leaving you free to beat someone to death in a perpetual stun barrage of knee-slaps or slap on some cuffs. Very, very easy to take down entire groups of people and keep them down with this bad boy.


Calm Before the Storm: Starting Off

So you've managed to get the coveted Detective slot. Congraulations! And also fuck you, because I probably wanted that slot. If the round-type isn't extended, and if it is I hope you like sitting around doing nothing, then things are going to be getting hectic real quickly. As with any role, most players form a basic round-start routine that they all strive to accomplish before the thirty minute mark. For example, here is my routine:

  • Spawn in and wait for the HoS to stop talking.
  • Rush to the equipment room and grab a maglight and crowbar before anyone else can.
  • Go to office and get geared up.
  • Loot maintenance and clean it of contraband and other interesting items before engineers/other officers can get to it while making sure to touch every locker and crate that you can, leaving them open. Chances are, something will be found stuffed in a maintenance locker. If you can get to the locker first, then you can debunk any alibis related to said person looting maintenance with the cold hard fact that you got there first before anyone else.
  • Drop off any contraband in a labeled evidence locker in storage and watch the room in case some jackass officer decides they want a nice new boot knife for whatever reason.
  • Acquire nanopaste, a tablet and potentially rubbers if I'm feeling merciful.
  • Monologue.
  • Wait for shit to hit the fan.

Edited by Guest
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...