Hackie Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 The light slowly begins fading, and you see a being who has attained the most ultimate form, one who is the best. Chuck Norris. He stares at you and says, "Welcome to heaven, I am the walker Texas Ranger.' He pauses and emits a roar that hurts you ears, that cannot even come from a human, 'GOOOOOOOOOOD!' Quote Link to comment
hivefleetchicken Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Hive looks down as the clouds part and he tumbles down a long staircase to Hell. Quote Link to comment
BadLemonsXI Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 **Fall to my knees and stare in awe at GOD!** Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Is that Joe from prison?... FROM PRISON? "YOU FUCK, YOU TOLD ME THAT GIRL'S AGE WAS OFF THE CLOCK." Quote Link to comment
Hackie Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 Chuck Norris stares at the four, his mouth drops open and his face turns red, he roars a mighty roar, 'YOU IMBECILES! I HAVE PARDONED YOU FOR YOUR SINS, AND YOU ACT LIKE IMBECILES!' He begins waving his hands in the air, and shouts, 'I BANISH YOU TO THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF HELL, WHERE YOU WILL BE PUNISHED BY THE ANTI-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!' The platform of clouds recede as you fall into a dark, fiery void. Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 "THERE IS NO GOD, ONLY ANTI-CHUCK. I ACCEPT MY FATE." Quote Link to comment
canon35 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 *Falls to Hell* "FUCK YOU, I ALWAYS LIKED BRUCE LEE MOOOOOOOOOOORE!" "AND LEMON IS STILL FUCKING USELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!" Quote Link to comment
Hackie Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 You fall to the lowest layer of hell, there you see the anti-chuck, the one who represents everything wrong with the universe. Bruce Lee. But, something in the distance is flying? What is it? Is it a care package? Argh! Your bare feet hurt in the sea of glass, you need to get to that package. Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I run over the shards of glass, my feet bleeding and my voice crying out for mercy. And then, it happened. An absolute awful pain shoots up from my right foot, worse than the shards of glass themselves, and I look down to see what I've stepped on. Â Â And I see before me, and in the midst of the way to the carepackage, a giant sea of these fucking awful human-made abominations that dared to enter the earth. The anti-chuck's very creation of terror itself. Quote Link to comment
hivefleetchicken Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Hive quickly clambers over the lego bricks with his feet, having years of training behind a barefoot poverty-stricken child in Nigeria. With the strength of a thousand harvest elementary school children's souls, he would let out a cry of war as he would leap for Bruce Lee's watery face. "WATER CAN FLOW, OR IT CAN CRASH, OR IT CAN FUUUUCKING DIIIIE," he would exclaim like a politically incorrect idiot, as he would fall short in his jump, smacking into a pile of lego bricks as he would sink into the pit of them, gurgling. All that his hand would remain, sticking out of the ground, as the lego bricks would finish enveloping everything else. All that could be heard from him was a muffled "FUUUUUCK 'EMMMM UUUUUUUP!" as he would lay trapped under the layers of legos. Quote Link to comment
canon35 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 *Curls up and begins to cry* "Bruce Lee....why?" Quote Link to comment
BadLemonsXI Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 **Run's after the care package. Year's of playing with legos making his feet num to the pain.** Quote Link to comment
Hackie Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 Bruce Lee stares at the imbeciles, he falls to the floor and begins bawling tears. He says, "Why?... Why today? I must deal with the worst kind of people to have ever existed? Dear Chuck, please, please, do not make my own domain a personal hell. These imbeciles are... unstoppable." As Lemon and Delta reach the carepackage, it is full of amazing gear, double barreled shotguns, power armor and 44. magnums. Everything a child could wish for. A note reads: We are the expendables, we have fought a ten-thousand year war against Chuck and Bruce, we seek to destroy them, with these tools, you may fight the good fight. A picture of every single action hero is taped on, all fighting demons and angels. Quote Link to comment
hivefleetchicken Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Hive would burst from his tomb with a furious cry of hairy anger, ripping a claw hammer from the pile and turning to face Bruce, the legos having torn his angel garbs into a rough ass cloth tank top, stained with blood and sweat. Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 After several agonizing minutes which seemed like hours at best, Delta arose slowly, grunting and hissing. They would examine themselves and notice they are enveloped in an Improved Combined Tactical Vest... made of the hellish lego bricks he suffered from only minutes before. He pumped his arms and fists towards the sky, letting out a mighty Quote Link to comment
Hackie Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 Bruce screams in pain as the claw hammer strikes his back. His face turns to something of amusement, and begins floating in the air. He fires hundreds of lightening bolts everywhere, destroying legos, making glass into fine powdery dust. But, you see a jet flying in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's the expendables! Several heavily armed toddlers with jetpacks begin dropping bombs on Bruce, doing long dives and returning to the jet. Quote Link to comment
BadLemonsXI Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 **Loads the 44. magnums and opens fire on Bruce.** "Yer get some!" Quote Link to comment
canon35 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 *Raises up, eyes full of fire* "I GIVE MY SOUL TO BRUCE LEE!" Quote Link to comment
Hackie Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 As Bruce falls, his mortal vessel weakened from age, and years of fighting. He leaves his body, and possesses Canon. Canon warps and twists and screams as his body changes, Bruce... Bruce isn't in control, yet. But, his hatred fills Canon's body with rage, his new form must destroy the Expendables and his former accomplices! Then, he must take revenge against Chuck, and sit on his rightful throne, or, be fully possessed by Bruce. Quote Link to comment
hivefleetchicken Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Hive realizes he doesn't serve anyone, not some stupid babies, or Asian martial arts experts, or retarded children that he was locked in a truck with, but Khorne. With a furious cry of blind rage, he hacks the claw of the hammer right through baby Bruce Willis' stomach, cleaving the baby-soldier in half. He then descends on the rest of them, hacking BABIES APART LIKE WHAT THE FCUK as their limbs toss through the air above him. Quote Link to comment
canon35 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Bruce!Canon channels his power into a single beam and fires at Lemon "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING USELESS YOU FUCK!" Quote Link to comment
BadLemonsXI Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 "You feeling lucky? Well do ya punk?" *Lemons now wearing the power armor blow's Bruce!Canon's kneecaps out with the 44.* Quote Link to comment
hivefleetchicken Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Hive turns and leaps on the two of them, first slashing at Lemon with the hammer for BEING A FUCKING USELESS POWERGAMER Hive screams "#TOTALLYGANKEDWITHOUTANYRP" as he crashes into the armored citrus fruit. Quote Link to comment
BadLemonsXI Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Lemons screams back "#TOTALLYNOTSS13SOWTFM8GETREKT" Quote Link to comment
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