Jump to content

Dekser Starts Speaking In Third Person (Tajara whitelist)


Recommended Posts

BYOND Key: Dekser


Character Names: Zissan A'Asshan, Ssek Zuiaa, Klara Wessels


Species you are applying to play: T. Sapiens / Tajara


What color do you plan on making your first alien character: Beaver Brown (RGB 159, 139, 112)


Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yessss


Why do you wish to play this specific race: Tajaran's are an interesting species to play, interactions between not only Tajarans amongst other Tajarans but interactions with other races will definitely be unique and fun. The lore surrounding Tajarans goes very in-depth and the multiple political parties to choose from vastly expands roleplay opportunities. A personal favorite from the lore would be the general biology of Tajarans, while not the most advanced or unique they definitely hold many quirks which affect gameplay. I have had a lot of interactions with Tajarans, whether brief or round defining my interactions have all been interesting and fun. With this application I look forward to playing as a Tajaran and interacting with non-Tajarans, seeing what interesting interactions I can set up with possible Tajaran antags(?).

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Mechanically, they have claws which slash instead of punch. They have extreme cold resistance and weak heat resistance, they cannot wear human gloves or shoes. They also have night vision and unique organs, adapted to Adhomai. Outside of mechanics Tajarans have very complex politics which may spark arguments in the workplace. Tajarans have many different 'races' and all collectively agree to hate Zhans which may affect how others view them and their actions. Races include: Hharar, otherwise known as the baseline of the Tajaran species. Hharar usually possess greater intelligence than other Tajara but lack in physical strength. No large group has any particular hatred for Hharar. Zhan-Khazan, the second most common race of Tajarans. Zhans are physically more bulky than the Tajaran races, they make up the majority of the workforce and out of what is either spite or discrimination many claim Zhans to be idiotic and less intelligent. M'sai were once the great hunters of Tajaran society, possessing a slim figure and the ability to camouflage with their Ivory - white fur. Today most M'sai work as law enforcement, with large eyes giving great perception in even the heaviest of blizzards, they excel in what they do. Lastly are Njarir’Akhran, these Tajarans made up the wealthy side of the population before the wars. Following the aforementioned wars Njarir make up less than 10% of the population and are hated by the majority of Tajarans simply for sharing a bloodline with the nobles. They often can be seen boasting about their 'high intelligence' and their pristine fur. Overall, Tajaran races, mechanics and intertwining politics will spice up any round.

Character Name: Rhaghrriov Al'kiisel Andrr

Please provide a short backstory for this character: Born 2434 after the first revolution, Rhaghrriov was an only child. Her father worked as a factory overseer and earned quite a fair living, because of this young childhood and adolescence was easy for Rhaghrriov. She was close with her mother as she would educate her, cook for her and overall spend the most time with her. One thing her mother would often do with Rhaghrriov was cook, teaching her many Tajaran and specifically Peoples Republic recipes. These included Rikazu pies, stews and spreads for Adhomian Hard bread. Both of her parents were highly fond of the PRA and thus told Rhaghrriov rather exaggerated stories about the DPRA and New Kingdom while expressing their love of Peoples Republic. This heavily influenced her political views as she grew older, making her think of the DPRA as terrorists and the NKA as a bunch of bumbling idiots. By the age of seventeen, the year is 2451 and president Rhagrrhuzau has just been assassinated. Though the war did not directly affect Rhaghrriov in a strong way, her father lost his job and was forced into a work camp. Because her father was now working a low paying job, Rhaghrriov could not pursue any advanced education for a few years. There was an idle period, Rhaghrriov was finished with her basic education and was contemplating what she would study or what job she needed to start working, this idle period lasted three years and by twenty years old she planned on working as a cook for a bakery in Al'mari. After following through with these plans, Rhaghrriov rented a cheap, small room to stay in, she also began looking into more advanced education.

She became more and more skilled in baking, but it began to bore her, she lost her creative spark and decided to look into other forms of work. The year is now 2457, Rhaghrriov is twenty-three years old and The Hadii Institute of Orbital Research has just become available to supporters of the PRA, this was exciting news for Rhaghrriov as she had applied as soon as she could. First it was the loyalty tests, these questioned her general knowledge of the People's Republic as well as her loyalty. Next was the many entrance exams which she barely passed, finally there was an interview to conclude her entrance into the Institute by confirming she was in fact a PRA supporter and met the qualifications. The process took over two months to complete and Rhaghrriov was exhausted by the end of it, there was no time for rest, however as she was to begin work immediately as a junior roboticst and lab assistant. She worked in the institute for many years, assisting with small experiments and mainly focusing on her studies. April 25th, 2463. Rhaghrriov has been promoted to senior robotics expert after a multitude of other, smaller promotions and has been selected to work aboard the NSS Aurora with NanoTrasen for approximately one year and four months. She had a few weeks to prepare and was ready to forward her career in Science.

What do you like about this character? Rhaghrriov is a smart person, she is constantly determined towards a goal, a flaw in her character would be how quickly she bores herself. Dropping something to focus on something else, constantly working to not waste time and always striving to be better than her colleagues.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? 7/10

Notes: I apologize if the backstory is lacking, my goal was not to create a hyper detailed backstory but rather to express my knowledge of Tajaran lore.

Edited by DekserBecauseILostMyAccoun
Grammar
Link to comment

There is a bit of confusion between Tajara and Tajaran, and Tajarans is not even a thing.

Right now, my biggest issue with the backstory is the work camp part. Losing a job is not really a reason to send people to a work camp, this was reserved to behavior considered anti-social by the PRA society. Besides, if Rhaghrriov had her one of her parents sent to one,  there would likely be a lot of suspicions that she herself could harbor these sentiments because she was raised for them. So, that would really put a dent in getting inside one of the country's most prestigious institutions.

I am also confused by the transition from a baker to a roboticist. It kinda feels out of nowhere and both professions are not really related. Explaining it a bit better would make it more clearer.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Alberyk said:

There is a bit of confusion between Tajara and Tajaran, and Tajarans is not even a thing.

Right now, my biggest issue with the backstory is the work camp part. Losing a job is not really a reason to send people to a work camp, this was reserved to behavior considered anti-social by the PRA society. Besides, if Rhaghrriov had her one of her parents sent to one,  there would likely be a lot of suspicions that she herself could harbor these sentiments because she was raised for them. So, that would really put a dent in getting inside one of the country's most prestigious institutions.

I am also confused by the transition from a baker to a roboticist. It kinda feels out of nowhere and both professions are not really related. Explaining it a bit better would make it more clearer.

Thank you for the reply!

Quote

There is a bit of confusion between Tajara and Tajaran, and Tajarans is not even a thing.

That took me a second to understand, you're talking about the species pronouns right? I realize I was using them way wrong and should have them down now.

Quote

Right now, my biggest issue with the backstory is the work camp part. Losing a job is not really a reason to send people to a work camp, this was reserved to behavior considered anti-social by the PRA society. Besides, if Rhaghrriov had her one of her parents sent to one,  there would likely be a lot of suspicions that she herself could harbor these sentiments because she was raised for them. So, that would really put a dent in getting inside one of the country's most prestigious institutions.

I realize that going into the camp is unlikely and causes a lot of issues, because of that I have a solution. Instead of being drafted to a workcamp after losing his previous job, he was employed there as the camp overseer because of his experience. This obviously still paid less however it would also not cause any raised eyebrows as she went to work at the institute. The reasoning for him losing his prior job to the war is simple, the factory he oversaw was constructed to produce fabrics and luxury items and so was closed down to be altered into a military factory, the re-construction time was estimated at six months and so everyone working at the establishment were to be dismissed.

Quote

I am also confused by the transition from a baker to a roboticist. It kinda feels out of nowhere and both professions are not really related. Explaining it a bit better would make it more clearer.

I was going to include this but could not fit it into the backstory in a nice clean way. Even from a young age Rhaghrriov was always interested in tools and science, drawing crazy inventions and trying to create them in the real world with horrible results. In fact it was her dream job, to be able to create things that would affect peoples lives, something impactful. Her parents, however were not fond of this and instead kept encouraging her to move into cooking and bakery, drowning out what she actually wanted to do. She never blamed them or hated them for this, sort-of understood where they were coming from because her? A Scientist? Not gonna happen. Years later she had heard The Hadii Institute was soon to be opened she dropped baking almost immediately which, looking back she realized was a very dangerous and impulsive decision to make.

If any of these responses require expanding please do let me know.

Edited by DekserBecauseILostMyAccoun
Link to comment

Okay, sorry for the delay. I have decided to deny this application for some reasons.

The application is not very strong in regards to painting a cohesive character. Sure there is some knowledge about the lore, but it is not used very well to create a strong/good character. That could probably be worked more with my help. For example, her motivations are not very clear and still feel like it is out of nowhere.This alone is probably not enough to deny a whitelist unless it is really bad or there is no effort in changing/improving.

The other reason is your behavior in game, it is not really good taking in consideration your bans and overall note history. This can also be improved, but it is a bit too soon.

You can reapply in two weeks, if nothing happened until then, I will not hold it against you in the next application. Feel free to contact me if you have any question or doubt.

Application denied for now.

Link to comment
×
×
  • Create New...