Guest Menown Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 BYOND Key: Meowykins Player Byond Key: Reyjakai Reason for complaint: General Implausibility/Flavor text qualitiy Approximate Date/Time: N/A Okay. First, the flavor texts. Subjective in nature, forcing the idea of finding a half-robot attractive in my character's eyes. face = "Her face is partially obscured by an oversized, metallic ocular implant. Her face is very attractive, and her skin is free of imperfections." legs = "Her legs are toned and muscular, quivering slightly when she walks. She notices you looking at her butt, and you can almost hear a mechanical voice saying, "Fucking pervert" in your head." Second, her records. How somebody with this blacked out of a record managed onto the security team as a full officer, from the research field without any known training is beyond me. "Mcmullen joined NanoTrasen after a recommendation from [REDACTED]. Employment began in [REDACTED]. Joined as a [REDACTED] on [REDACTED]. Showed [REDACTED]. Promoted to [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]. [REDACTED]. [REDACTED]. Worked in Robotics. Robotics specialist certification obtained in [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] Trained in [REDACTED] from [REDACTED], including [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] issued by [REDACTED]. Returned to [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]. 2457, Removed from science department on NSS Aurora pending psychological evaluation after severe body modification surgery. Psychological evaluation deems Mcmullen to be of sound mind and body. Requested to be transferred to Security department. Permission to transfer granted by [REDACTED]. Due to the extent of the modifications to her body, cloning is not advised. " "[REDACTED] [REDACTED], Returned to active duty, pending psychological watch. [REDACTED], Psychological watch removed. Returned fully to active duty [REDACTED], Significant surgery processes undergone. Placing on leave of absense pending psychological evaluation. 03/23/2457, Cleared to return to active duty."
Blue Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 All they gotta do is change the flavor text to something like "Her face is clean and smooth, no scars, blackheads, or pimples to be seen." I'd only allow the butt comment as a pure gag. (We've had gag flavortexts. A certain somebody smells like almonds...) As for the records, I don't really see anything inherently wrong with liberal use of "REDACTED". Maybe you should find out why the character is like that?
VoltageHero Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 My only complaint with the flavor text, was the action of forcing somebody to feel a certain way. Wasn't this pointed out as a general no-no? As Blue said, just reword that, and it looks a lot better.
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 All they gotta do is change the flavor text to something like "Her face is clean and smooth, no scars, blackheads, or pimples to be seen." I'd only allow the butt comment as a pure gag. (We've had gag flavortexts. A certain somebody smells like almonds...) As for the records, I don't really see anything inherently wrong with liberal use of "REDACTED". Maybe you should find out why the character is like that? This is a security record. It doesn't even follow standard redaction for what you'd find redacted. It made me kek irl. The character just seems to be a bit of a Mary Sue.
Baka Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I think things should be changed around a bit. Saying someone is beautiful is subjective. People have different standardized versions of beauty. Robotic purple haired women donning beehives to you may be beautiful, but 10 foot salami stomping amazoness may be someone else's purview of what beauty is. Also the liberal usage of "redacted" is eyebrow rising. You are working on a high security research station. Your background will be picked at. You will be assessed..
Guest Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Which also begs the question, if information is redacted, why would it even be in your records? It's like putting that you're a syndicate sleeper agent in your employment records. It makes it so bloody obvious that you're a special snowflake of the worst kind, and that you're unwilling to keep a secret that you're actually a criminal. You're also untrustworthy as hell.
Jennalele Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Honetly, my blunt and brutal opinion is that this is ridiculously Mary-Sue. She allegedly got into the security department by "Just talking to reps at CentComm", as seen here: Coupled with her records that seem like an SCP's information page, and forced flavor text? Things really need to change.
Reyjakai Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Am I seriously getting shit over my flavor text now?
Guest Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Not to mention these two threads that just add onto the complaint. http://aurorastation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1857 http://aurorastation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1858
VoltageHero Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Am I seriously getting shit over my flavor text now? Well, yeah. It's kinda not that good. It's kinda trying to force people to act and behave in certain ways, which isn't a good thing.
GlamourChariot Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) Am I seriously getting shit over my flavor text now? It's not just the flavour text, it's the entire character. Just put things into perspective for you real quick, your character: Is effectively a cyborg commando Is apparently a scientific experiment, passing "security tests" in almost zero time due to "severe synthetic alteration" Was allowed into the NT security force because she talked to some people that she shouldn't have even been able to contact in the first place, especially with zero credentials Has extremely subjective flavour text, implying that the character is absolutely flawless like some kind of supermodel even despite prior mentioned experiments and severe synthetic alteration Has joke flavour text saying "no foot fetishists here" and implying that everybody is looking at her supposed perfect ass And finally, acts in a truly ridiculous action movie hero manner of calm, edgy extreme badassness; as I personally witnessed in a few rounds. The majority of other, much more realistic characters: Are normal biological beings, maybe with a prosthetic or two if they have been previously injured Had to go through schools and institutions and received appropriate training to be hired Had to legitimately pass any NT entry procedures with a full background check along with the prior mentioned schooling Generally (though not always, and it is a real issue) display a reasonable flavour text giving a general, objective description of the character without sounding like they're trying to describe their perfect waifu material Act in a reasonably realistic manner, maybe with a few adrenaline induced moments of overt strength and in general not being an edgy near emotionless husk Now, redaction of information isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is, however, if there are nearly as many redactions as there are other words in the paragraphs. If NanoTrasen needed to censor that much of the records, they wouldn't exist in the first place; nor would the character's place on the station. The issues with this character are deep seated and honestly you'd need to scrap the whole thing if you wanted to take any suggestions legitimately to heart. Whether you do or not is up to you, though I highly suggest you read up on what a Mary Sue is and why your character is a blaring example of such. In fan fiction, a Mary Sue or, in case of a male character, Gary Stu or Marty Stu is an idealized character, often but not necessarily an author insert and/or wish-fulfilment. -- The negative connotation comes from this "wish-fulfilment" implication: the "Mary Sue" is judged as a poorly developed character, too perfect and lacking in realism to be interesting. And no, having a "character flaw" of having a dark, edgy and mysterious past of being a scientific experiment does not save you from being a Mary Sue, it only adds to it. Look, if you want to play a character like this look into dabbling in some Cyberpunk 2020 or Shadowrun. The Aurora is not the place for Mary Sue / Snowflake wish fulfilment. Edited March 31, 2015 by Guest
Rusty Shackleford Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 *sees player complaint* Hmm. Wonder what this is about. BYOND Key: Meowykins Player Byond Key: Reyjakai Reason for complaint: General Implausibility/Flavor text qualitiy Well that seems a bit petty. Let's take a look at those spoilers. face = "Her face is partially obscured by an oversized, metallic ocular implant. Her face is very attractive, and her skin is free of imperfections." ... Huh. I suppose there's a point there. Well, at least they didn't say she had sexy buttcheeks-- legs = "Her legs are toned and muscular, quivering slightly when she walks. She notices you looking at her butt, and you can almost hear a mechanical voice saying, "Fucking pervert" in your head." Oh lawd. Well, it's only flavor text. I'm sure that they play the character in at least a somewhat believable manner-- "Mcmullen joined NanoTrasen after a recommendation from [REDACTED]. Employment began in [REDACTED]. Joined as a [REDACTED] on [REDACTED]. Showed [REDACTED]. Promoted to [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]. [REDACTED]. [REDACTED]. Worked in Robotics. Robotics specialist certification obtained in [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] Trained in [REDACTED] from [REDACTED], including [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] issued by [REDACTED]. Returned to [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]. 2457, Removed from science department on NSS Aurora pending psychological evaluation after severe body modification surgery. Psychological evaluation deems Mcmullen to be of sound mind and body. Requested to be transferred to Security department. Permission to transfer granted by [REDACTED]. Due to the extent of the modifications to her body, cloning is not advised. " "[REDACTED] [REDACTED], Returned to active duty, pending psychological watch. [REDACTED], Psychological watch removed. Returned fully to active duty [REDACTED], Significant surgery processes undergone. Placing on leave of absense pending psychological evaluation. 03/23/2457, Cleared to return to active duty." Honetly, my blunt and brutal opinion is that this is ridiculously Mary-Sue. She allegedly got into the security department by "Just talking to reps at CentComm", as seen here: Coupled with her records that seem like an SCP's information page, and forced flavor text? Things really need to change. Not to mention these two threads that just add onto the complaint. http://aurorastation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1857 http://aurorastation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1858 Am I seriously getting shit over my flavor text now? Methinks it might be more than just your flavor text that's the problem here...
Nik Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 While the characters actions may be under Fire elsewhere, the main point that should be taken is that the Flavor text implies that everyone in the room at all times is gawking at your butt, much to the amusement of other players as we remarked about you having two slimes down your pants. Which is a bad sign when half the player base is mocking you either behind your back or straight to your face.
Doomberg Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I will begin by quoting a couple of paragraphs from our rules page, found here. -Your flavor text represents what can be visually observed by looking at your character, and nothing else. Ridiculous flavor texts (such as "She is a 7'4'' amazon with rainbow hair, color-changing eyes and sexy buttcheeks") will be asked to be curbed/reworked. -Characters must be believable, and well-rounded. No insane or psychotic characters. No Mary Sues. -Characters must have realistic knowledge for their background. This means no teenage surgeons or scientists - cross-job overlap is possible, but rare, and experience comes with age. As such, a roboticist might have anatomical knowledge, or a mechanical engineer some knowledge of atmos, but competent characters are expected to have the credentials (and age) to back it up.Experience takes time to accumulate. As you're probably able to tell, Katelynn needs a few changes in order to appropriately adhere to these rules. With that aside, I'd like further posts to retain a modicum of civility. Hostility is unneeded.
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 ^What Doomburg said. The flavour text is amusing and needs to be changed, but you don't need to feel so strongly about it.
Crescentise Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I had a nice constructive post to add to this thread but a broken preview ate it, so for now all I have to say is standard redaction What redaction standard is there in place? Honest question here.
Dea Tacita Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Wasn't this pointed out as a general no-no? Yeah, Flavor texts are strictly objective documents. Am I seriously getting shit over my flavor text now? Yeah. This is essentially a poster-boy example of what not to do with flavor texts. You're subjective in your description and... I don't even know what to say about this you can almost hear a mechanical voice saying, "Fucking pervert" in your head." For one, there's straight women, gay men, Tajara who don't find Humans attractive on the station. All this is saying is "YOU HAVE TO GLARE AT HER ASS AND THEN THINK A CERTAIN THING."
Nik Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I feel bad, it's like 90% of the forum users are ganging up on him. Although it still is awful.
Dea Tacita Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I'm not trying to gang up on Him, but this is something that needs to be addressed. Normally staff would do it on their own if we noticed it, but Meow saw it first.
Reyjakai Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I'll manage regardless. I decided to undo any of the changes I made to the character and have removed the flavor text entirely to avoid offending any parties involved. I also removed all records on all of my characters in an attempt to not offend anybody. In addition to this, It'd be nice to have my custom item applications removed, as they are pointless now that I have removed the changes, and as many people have pointed out, completely unnecessary and stupid.
Doomberg Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Alright, as appropriate action was taken by the player to remedy the issues listed in the original complaint, this is pretty much resolved. I'll be locking and archiving this. If anyone wishes to contest this, they are free to PM me at any time. Reyjakai: I would advise not letting yourself get discouraged by a couple of overreactions. Adjust as you see fit and I'm certain you'll be fine.
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