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Seven Ghost

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BYOND Key: Seven Ghost

Total Ban Length: Permanent

Banning staff member's Key: conspire2ignite

Reason of Ban: Countless warnings on this behavior. Shooting or killing another person with RnD tech while non-antag (and with record of previous incidents), its a force-perman ban

Reason for Appeal: I'm opening up a dialogue to discuss where to move from here.

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I have to say I'm rather disappointed.


Despite having stated that you believed yourself capable of playing a non-whitelisted position without violating any server rules at the time of the first thread and 'in the future'. Yet, here we are, in the relative future, with a ban with relatively the same rules being broken as was prompted for your (yet, requested) first permaban.


These constitutes the violation of several server rules, most chiefly in the form of Self-Antagging behavior and gross violation of believable conduct for even an antagonistic head of staff.


You had even recognized this, which was impressive in and of itself. But the reason of the ban shows self-antagging in the grossest violation. You know, I actually did believe the self-antagging behavior was over and done with. I believed you when you said you were capable of coming onto the server again and recognizing what you did was wrong and that you wouldn't do it again.

But it's like nothing changed. I feel deceived now.

Honestly, I wanna ask you this. Was it worth it? Was it worth the permaban just to shoot someone with RnD-printed weaponry? Or was that not the reason you did it, besides 'for no reason?'

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You had stated to us in admin helps that you felt justified taking out a character, to the point of husking them, despite breaking a rather big rule of self-antagging, griefing, and what I feel was metagrudge because of the implication you gave in the PMs. In turn, they were never cloned and had to wait an entire half an hour to play again, on a round type with absolutely no antags.

Why did you feel justified to wordlessly shoot them to kill them, despite knowing this would had resulted in consequences?

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Honestly, I wanna ask you this. Was it worth it? Was it worth the permaban just to shoot someone with RnD-printed weaponry? Or was that not the reason you did it, besides 'for no reason?'


I've never said "for no reason" to any of my mistakes. No it wasn't worth it, because as it turns out I was mistaken about the reason I even did this for in the first place. Even if I wasn't mistaken it would still have not been worth it.


Why did you feel justified to wordlessly shoot them to kill them, despite knowing this would had resulted in consequences?


First to correct a few semantic issues. It wasn't wordless, this was the end result of a conversation that ended in threats. Second, it wasn't a meta-grudge. I've generally been pretty friendly with Reyjakai and their character Katelynn and don't hold any ill will to them personally.

Initial messages mentioned feeling justified in the first moments before the act, something I usually say right after I'm confronted. Initially I thought this was over someone named Charlie being killed or not-cloned because of a character believed I broke into their lab. I felt personally responsible for Charlie's life, was already aggravated from griefers who made racist bomb jokes and tried to knife my face off, and the HoP's decision to punish all of Science for a griefer team of two's actions. So already on a hair edge and seeing something as a grave injustice I flew over the edge and made a bad mistake.

In short, I do not feel justified.

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Before someone asks why I don't go somewhere else. For a lot of personal reasons, this is really the only station I can stand. I can't hack it anywhere else. I have tried to go elsewhere and honestly.. this is one of the few bastions of anyone actually trying to make something and have some semblance of rules around social conduct.

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I don't want to beat around the bush. How much more longer can this go on? We've tried a lot of different options and punishments and conditions. Job bans, temp bans, self bans. This is clearly something that's going to keep happening, how many more chances should I really get, I'm going to keep slowly building up stress til I come into conflict with others. I have to face up that I might be one of the reasons Science team has a bad rep, and I only truly ever just want to be RD.

To be honest, I haven't really been the same person since a few months ago. I've had to give up a lot of things I enjoy or count on in my life recently as my mental state gets worse. Maybe its just best if I respectfully hang up my hat and go.

I honestly am going to miss a lot of you. I don't think many of you know how much I respect you, I'm often too afraid to talk to you. To my friends I want to thank you very much for the pleasant times we've shared, you're the biggest reasons I keep coming back. I wish I could express how much these silly little jokes and small stories mean to me.

I apologize for damaging this community instead of building it up. I'm sorry that I couldn't do better.

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I do not want to say "too bad, go find someplace else". Because I would never tell that to someone who still does have potential to improve, but has neglected to enable themselves to make the effort to do so.

I do not want you to remain permabanned. I would never endorse permabans unless it was an absolutely extreme circumstance (there is practically no one in my mind right now that is a regular on this server that I feel needs a ban. PumpkingSlice excluded) or a series of circumstances that led me just to say "enough is enough."

I cannot say for certain whether or not enough was enough. I cannot say for certain what I desire to move on from here, in your case.

I do not know what the future has in store for you. I would hope that Aurora would remain in that future, but I can't practically foresee that for certain.

Whatever the decision, I wish you good luck. I think you might need it.

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Okay. Long story short, here's the rock and a hard place we are stuck between: you are not inherently someone we want to keep away. Your attitude is, for the most part, fine and while you can get heated in certain debates, you do cool down with time. The crux of the matter goes when you go over the line like this. And we are forced to take action. And we have been forced to, repeatedly. This is not something that we can, basically, have cropping up.

An alternative that I would personally suggest is a job ban from RnD. Which is the department you seem to be struggling with the most. But at that point, I need to be ensured that you do not bypass that ban. I know you have the capacity to. And I'm unsure as to how long you can keep away from playing Science (although, maybe I'm wrong on this count).

So, yeah, I dunno.

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That's a pretty stiff price. Science is mostly what I play here for. Its where most my friends are based. I was even hoping to work my way back to RD again, though that seems an even farther longshot than it was before.

If I seem to come to trouble most often in a Science position then its only because I play Science most often and another department won't be different. I've rarely been able to argue a better deal though, so if that's the price of admission I'll pay it.

That brings me to an issue of my own though: I have a stigma on me at this point. I was even punished once for something I hadn't even done and have never done (Atmsopherics grief) and my notes were used as justification. The stigma bites, and you know some of it is pretty well deserved, but I feel hopeless about the prospect of earning back some trust over time. Stigmatised.

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I wouldn't attach the connotation of "being stigmatized" to the matter, mostly because it's a phrase oft misused. I'd like to think that my concern is mainly a prediction based on a chain of past events. And, yeah, it is there. Objectively. And if it keeps being an issue, which it has been up until this ban, then it will need to be dealt with. And from this point onward, just about the only person who can deal with it in a final fashion is you, yourself. You control your actions, set a ticker and stop it.

I don't know. That's just about the only thing I've got to say. A suggestion brought up by another mod was a timed ban on RnD jobs, or the job bans being permanent but your right to appeal being held until time X.


Off-key note:

I was even punished once for something I hadn't even done and have never done (Atmsopherics grief) and my notes were used as justification.


Should have reported that. This should not happen.

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Being [not completely banned from everything] gives you a chance to (very gradually) prove yourself again.

How do you feel about that? Do you feel confident that given the time, you'd be able to demonstrate your goodwill, or are you heading into this expecting to make further mistakes and get in trouble again? Because if your expectation is the latter, you might want to ask yourself why this is what you're predicting will happen, and if you're okay with it or not.

Just some food for thought.

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I'll leave out my most recent evasive non-answer and say that I truly believe I'll have another month going good and doing mostly social or assistant jobs. That's honestly a lot of fun, and more fun than being Science on a chucklefuck server in exile. Its what comes after that month that'll spell if I'm still around, because I don't think I'll have it in me to make another appeal.

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Right. Currently, we're thinking of swapping out the perma for a 2 month science ban that removes itself automatically. Basically, you wouldn't have to appeal it, it'd get lifted once the time ticks over and you'll be golden.

Objections, or shall I run this through tomorrow?

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