Staff complaint - Melariara (Unban Request)

[NG+7 Gael]

Discord ID: Imperial Duck (They/Them)#5344
Staff BYOND Key: Melariara
Game ID: N/A
Reason for complaint: So, my discord unban request was denied by Melariara, "because I feel you aren't really remorseful about it, nor do I feel you understand why you were banned." Upon asking for some potential clarification, and assuring Mel that I meant it, I was just told to either re-appeal in two months or make a staff complaint to contest it, so that's what I'm doing. Honestly, I don't understand why this was the response I got- I dunno if I came across the wrong way in the appeal or something, but I certainly did attempt to apologize, and tried to make it clear. I also don't understand how waiting two months to appeal again would make any amount of difference; she won't recognize the appeal as being legitimate, like, 8 months after I was banned in the first place. I received no clarification for her statements, and I don't see how trying again in two more months would change anything.
As far as knowing why I was banned goes: the reason that I was given on the forums was that I received 3 strikes, which automatically escalated to a ban. The reasoning for each of these 3 strikes is different, but they were all collected within a very short period of time, hence the reasoning I gave in my initial appeal. Also, the reason that was given for the ban via the discord bot was largely false, as it claims that I posted Nazi propaganda despite never posting anything like that. The second part of that message which mentioned going on about it after struck is true, though, and I already recognized and apologized for that in my initial appeal.

[Alberyk]

@WickedCybs will help me handle this complaint. We will wait on @Melariara to post first.

[Melariara]

I denied this because I felt you weren't being apologetic about it, as stated. Considering how you reacted to the original ban, I believe that what you said was not enough.

The original complaint against the original ruling was listed here :

 

 

[NG+7 Gael]

I understand what the reason given for denial is, and if that's how you feel about it, then that's how you feel about it. I'm not really sure what else to say, though. I can write out a much longer post apologizing in lots of words for many different things, but I personally don't see how it would make the apology any more or less sincere. I'm still extremely unhappy about falsely being accused of posting literal Nazi propaganda, but- as I said in my initial appeal- I also understand that my response to the original situation(s) was too much. This more-or-less extends to the warning I got from the other staff member around the same time: unhappy about the situation, but I understand that the way I responded was unacceptable as well.

Either way, I will say again that I absolutely did attempt to apologize for it in the appeal, whether it was clear or not. And as I said, I can write out a longer one, but I don't see how that would make you or anyone else view it as any more sincere than what I already posted. I have no idea what the expectations are for this.

If any of you have questions about whatever, feel free to ask.

Edited March 14, 2023 by NG+7 Gael

[NG+7 Gael]

Just to add to this to try and clarify, in case it wasn't clear already, I'm also not trying to, like, shift the blame of my own actions on to other ppl or anything- the explanation that I gave regarding the incidents around which I got banned, including the false reasoning stated previously, are nothing but explanations from my own point of view meant to provide some context as to the cause of my actions, not excuses for the actions nor redirecting blame for the actions. I fully accept that what I did, regardless of other circumstances, was uncalled for, both towards Mel and the other staff involved. As I said in my previous posts, I know I should have handled it differently. The explanation was my reasoning as to why I didn't, at the time, not an endorsement of how I did handle it. I emphasized Mel originally because she was the one that ended up banning me, and because she didn't actually do anything warranting that sorta behaviour.

And again, to be clear about what Mel said regarding my apology being insincere, obviously I disagree with the assessment, especially as I was given no particular reason as to why it's being seen that way, nor was I given any information as to what would have been expected of an apology for it to be accepted. Communication is difficult, and so I'm going to add this: I did my best to apologize in as simple a manner as possible in the original appeal while also trying to hit the main points for the ban. Personally, I believed it to be a sufficient apology- whether it was accepted or not- which is why I submitted it in the first place. I understand that Mel, and maybe some others, may not see it that way, but to be honest there's not really much I can do about that. I can write as much as I want, but if one apology appears insincere, I don't see why any other wouldn't.

So, rather than just continue to insist on the apology being sincere, as it's pretty much meaningless coming from me, I'll just again point to one of the points I made in my original post: In my other multiple years on the Discord server, I had never (afaik) received even a warning, let alone ban, before that specific chain of incidents. I think this is a fair point to make, because it shows that this kinda thing isn't at all a regular occurrence. Whether or not that changes anything, I don't know, but I felt like it was a relevant point.

Edited March 20, 2023 by NG+7 Gael

[WickedCybs]

Hello, sorry this took a while. Regarding the apology being genuine or not, that is not too important really. The reason the strikes happened and then the ban was because you went beyond not taking things well, even when you weren't directly involved at times. The explanation you gave in your appeal is a point of concern due to that.

I will post the sentence from the appeal.

Quote

I already had multiple ppl in the server, including staff, trying to tell me false things about myself and completely ignoring what I was saying on top of w/e else was happening so, perhaps understandably, I was quite upset at the time- which isn't meant to be an excuse, just an explanation.

You're saying it's just an explanation, not an excuse, but it does make it seem as if you're shifting the blame to others or still implying after multiple complaints people were just lying. That is just not really what happened and Garn was even agreeing with you that spreading propaganda wasn't what you were actually doing. There was a clear pattern of not dropping things and insulting other people. So if that is still how you feel about it, it would make me kind of concerned that it might happen again.

For that reason I don't think Mel was wrong to deny the appeal. If you appeal again though, it does not really need a longer apology or anything since I agree, that is pointless. You would be better served elaborating more about how you went the wrong way about things and how it could be handled differently on your part next time if this happened again.

I'll archive the thread in a day or two unless either of you want to say something.

[NG+7 Gael]

Hey, yeah no problem with the time, thanks for the response. I don't really have anything else to add as far as the decision goes- it is what it is, and I don't think there's anything I can say that would make a difference, but I'm also gonna respond to some points just to try and clear things up as much as possible.

1 hour ago, WickedCybs said:

You're saying it's just an explanation, not an excuse, but it does make it seem as if you're shifting the blame to others or still implying after multiple complaints people were just lying. That is just not really what happened and Garn was even agreeing with you that spreading propaganda wasn't what you were actually doing. There was a clear pattern of not dropping things and insulting other people. So if that is still how you feel about it, it would make me kind of concerned that it might happen again.

I do actually understand what you're saying, and that's why I tried to make it as clear as I could that I'm not trying to shift the blame to others. If it appears that way, I get it, that's why I added on the additional stuff about it, but I do want to try to be clear that I did not mean it that way, it's moreso just me trying to explain the reasoning for my response at the time, without talking about it too much. I'm not trying to say that anyone was lying about other stuff, I just wanted to be clear that I did not post any sort of propaganda. I know that Garn agreed on that point, and in case it was missed, I wasn't saying that I was banned because of that. My reasons for mentioning it were mostly just for two reasons:

1. I wanted to explain why I wasn't bringing that up in the apology, because it was the reason listed on the ban I got from the Discord bot, and

2. I don't want anyone to think that I was posting Nazi propaganda, because... I mean, yeah, obviously.

As for not dropping things and insulting people, I can promise that I do understand that's why I was banned, and I'm not trying to say that's not what happened. I didn't drop things when asked and did insult people. Still, I would again like to point out that this wasn't a consistent thing with me resulting in multiple warnings over a longer period of time. I don't remember how long it took, but iirc it was less than a week? I might be wrong on that, but either way- the point of mentioning that was to try to assure staff that it wouldn't happen again, rather than being an excuse, though I do understand it might come across differently from intended.

1 hour ago, WickedCybs said:

For that reason I don't think Mel was wrong to deny the appeal. If you appeal again though, it does not really need a longer apology or anything since I agree, that is pointless. You would be better served elaborating more about how you went the wrong way about things and how it could be handled differently on your part next time if this happened again.

Okay, this is mostly what I wanted in the case of the appeal still being denied- I'm fine with appealing again when I can; obviously I would prefer not to wait such a long time, but it helps to know this kinda stuff for next time, so thank you for adding that.

[Alberyk]

Alright, so this is solved or is there anything else you want addressed?

[NG+7 Gael]

2 hours ago, Alberyk said:

Alright, so this is solved or is there anything else you want addressed?

Solved