plz alow ERP

[The Storyteller]

ok so lik i thik taht erp shud be alow on ns eggrolla becuz it wud add valuu 2 thu rolpay on thu survur

if ERP wuz alow thn rouns wud haf mor depht n we wud b abl 2 rp betur

ps.. if u r a guy dot plai girls das gros...................

pss... if u r a gurl n u wan 2 erp mesag mi on aim mi usernam is starboy181

psss.... im not 13 i swer im 21

[VoltageHero]

Psst. This should probably go over in Off-Topic, so you don't get people yelling at you.

That said, 10/10.

[Baka]

Moved.

Don't be silly and post jokes on serious boards, please.

[monkeysfist101]

The plot was shoddy at best. The graphics were lacking in most aspects and textures would drop in and out at random. A good portion of it was QTE with maybe only an hour of gameplay. The lag was rampant due to clear lack of optimization.

10/10 Game of the Year - IGN

[Ryfer]

This is something that we've required for a long time now, as people do what they're supposed to be doing way too much. I really wish people would disappear into maintenance more to make the sexy and there has been a horrible lack of that.

ps I wan 2 erp lamarr +11 thank

[Tainavaa]

Way more officers would patrol maintenance.

[Valkrae]

The Block Squad - A team of Security Officers dedicated solely to stopping ERP.

[Tainavaa]

The Cockblock Squad, commonly known as the Clam Jammers and stigmatized by ERPers everywhere, uncovered and seized several hundred boops of ERP in the maintenance tunnels last night in the medbay/science area. More at eleven.

This is the news at eleven. Security forces are now debating with the captain whether to call in assistance from Twat SWAT, a special forces security group specially trained in clitorference.

[hivefleetchicken]

I could recognize the stench of him anywhere.

Even as the smoke of my cigarillo clotted the air, tugged at my lungs as I stared out the window, I could make out the smell of Major Cockblocker, Sgt. Catbeast Intothebrig from the second he walked into the door.

I heard his voice catch in his throat as he struggled to speak through the haze of my lounge. Oh well, I reflected.

"Hive. We need you back on the case," words thick with nutriment and justice. I'd heard them many times before, but never before with so much dread swathing their every syllable.

"I'm done with that life," I begin, straining my eyes to gaze upon the buzzing streets below. "Not after the war. After they took everything from me. Even the twins."

I can remember them now, sun-filled blue eyes and ruby cheeks, dancing on the hillside. Things were different, then. Simpler.

But it all changed once the cat beasts came. The ERPers. The greytide could do nothing to halt them. So many good men. Good assistants. Janitors, cargo techs, chefs, all lost to the horde of furries and nurse insurgents.

I lost everything in the blink of an eye. They took everything I cared about and loved, strived to protect, and *me-fucked it to oblivion.

Even though I can't see him, I can sense him mewling for the right words, feet from me.

"I-I-- We--, Hive, we, the city. We need you. You're the only one the men will listen to. You're all that's left. If you won't do it for me. Do it for--"

"Shut your mouth," I cry out, spinning around in my chair and standing, the movement sapping every ounce of strength I have to keep myself upright, biting back the pain. The scars of my life's stories are carved beautifully around my features and I grimace at the thought, letting him see their true visage in the light of my desk lamp as I lean towards him. "Don't you dare talk about them. They had nothing to do with this, you bastard. They were just kids!"

"I'll do it," I growl, unable to fight back my anger. "Not for you. Not for my family. Not for all that they've taken from us. But for what's right."

My second-in-command nods quickly, swallowing his spittle to substitute closure. "For the Emprah," he would murmur.

"For the Emprah," I gladly second, guiding my footsteps to the door and letting his light wash over me as I step outside into the dim city streets.

"I'll make them pay," I snarl, adjusting my assistant's collar as I hide my banana peel further under my coat. "I'll make those fuckers pay."

[Guest]

I remember.

I remember being there, that day.

I remember when the airlock made its ominous, signature WHOOSH as the steel parted, opening the way to a dark closet. The small light I had was my only solace in the dark, my only friend, and the only sound I wanted to hear was the air lightly caressing the steel and framework of the tunnels I wandered in for a smoke break. And not the sounds of the grunting and moans of pleasure in the dark below of maintenance.

As the way paved itself, as the metal seas parted, the closet's darkness scattered as the light was shown upon it. Within the darkness were two generously clothed humans, man and woman. Whispering and performing all sorts of depravities upon one another.

They looked at the source of the light. I was in shock, and they stared at me. Their expressions changed from confusion, to irritation, to outright gaudy and full of lust. They flashed mischievous smiles, and attempted to address me. But I could not hear them, for I was deafened by my own horror.

I heard a skittering in the dark, behind me. I looked over my shoulder, and there it was. There they were.

It was a legion.

With several eyes, legs and pincers, and a color darker than the blackest pits of hell, they chittered and clacked their gnashing arachnid mandibles, though in a non-aggressive manner. Their colored eyes, one ruby, another sapphire, another's was amethyst, and another's was a deep onyx, stared deep into my soul... but they were kind eyes. They did not want to harm me. Their intent was to assist. To help. To save. To preserve the natural order of the workplace.

After what seemed like an hour, they averted their gaze from me and stared into the souls of the depraved perverts that stood before me. They leapt forth, their mandibles clicking and uttering an unforgettably terrifying screech. They latched onto their victims, and caught them in a very complex and otherwise fascinating silken web.

Once they had finalized their canvas, they leapt away into the darker regions of maintenance, their clicking and screeching fading as their distance grew.

I looked into the closet, once again, and looked at the faces of the couple unable to keep it in their drawers. They were covered from neck to toe in an elaborate cocoon, almost hardened by the quality craftsmanship of the webspinning. I looked at them one last time, and shook my head. I waved my hand over the access panel of the airlock, and the metal sea came to a close.

I tapped my headset to report that all was well in that hour, but I would never forget what occurred that day. The heroes of our age, perhaps never to be seen again. The heroes the galaxy needs, but not the ones it needs right now.

[The Storyteller]

wut on fuk.................???????????????? thz is serius thred dot erp on hre

]unles ur gril thn ad mi aim[

[swat43]

10 outa 10, 10 outa 10. Best suggestion, omg please implent it, all my yes, DO IT! AGHDGSJKGLS

[Chaznoodles]

Hnnnng

[hivefleetchicken]

What to heck????

Coccoonses???

wHAT is this, insect gameply? lol

[hivefleetchicken]

srsly tho lifelick texture ;-;