[Accepted] MyBadMan's App for Tajara (Catbeasts)

[MyBadMan]

BYOND Key: MyBadMan

Character Names: Parker Klingsworth

Species you are applying to play: Tajara

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Dark grey (RGB 30, 30, 30)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

While I do enjoy playing a human, being a different race poses an interesting challenge in playing something you are not. It gives the opportunity for creativity and being apart of a new idea and creation. The reason I am applying specifically for Tajara lies in the lore behind them. I am very interested and impressed with the level of thought and writing that has gone into this species. I appreciate the lore for all the other species, but this one intrigues me the most. I am excited by the chance to participate in a still open and changing conflict between different factions. It poses a great way to strike up RP with other Tajara on the station (or well informed humans, for that matter). The religions pose a great way to express your character. In addition, the use of maps and pictures of the Tajara on the wiki help the reader to visualize what they will be playing. Finally, I really appreciate the diversity of different ethnic groups and the tension between them. There are a multitude of different ethnicities each with their own specific trait. Not only is playing a Tajara different and new, but the different ethnicities offer an ability to keep trying new things as a whitelisted player.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

To start off, the in-game mechanics between Tajara and Humans are a little different. Tajara can not generally wear closed toed shoes, need special gloves, and cannot use hardsuits due to their nails and digitigrade appendages. Tajara see much better in the dark than humans do. Tajara do more damage when physically attacking someone due to their long, sharp nails. Tajara are far more affected by heat, and less affected by the cold due to their fur. In addition, they speak a different language (Siik’maas). Moving out of the in-game mechanics, there are a few cultural traits that make Tajara different. Firstly, they have a tail and ears that can be used while emoting. They have a strong genetic history of rolling their ‘Rs’ and referring to oneself in the third person (unless they trust who they are speaking with greatly). For example: “He enjoys the jerrrky verry much.” I think the biggest difference, however, is the current war occurring on their home planet. The three factions fighting for power and the intense tension between them makes for RP opportunities between other Tajara.

 

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Character Name: Marid’Ammar Abdmata’ke

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Marid’Ammar, or Mari (Mah-Ree) was born into the Abdmata’ke family in 2433. He was born into a strictly Mata’ke household in the northern region. Quizosa was home to a small number of Liberation families, including the Abdmata’ke. His given name means the constructor of rebellion. From birth, his parents and elders had been teaching him the history of Adhomai. He learned of the hardships under the Njarir Plutocracy until the first uprising. People from his village gave light to the freedom that the Tajara felt when overthrowing their masters. Mari gained a deep rooted dislike of the Njarir and those who supported them. Mari grew up with the still-high racial tensions post war, allowing him to experience the prejudice against the Khan first hand. By the time he began to form his own ideas, his path of thought was already well laid out for him. His disdain for the PRA had already begun due to him having seen little to no change in racial tensions after the first revolution.

Like his father, Mari began working in construction. He learned electrical wiring and the basics of construction from his father and the city. In 2453, much to his surprise and dismay, Mari was told his parents had been saving for him to attend the Nal’tor College of Career Excellence. Mari hated the idea. He simply could not conceive being around Tajara who believed in the crimes against Zhan committed by the People’s Republic. His parents' thinking was not far from his. However, they saw great value in the talent Mari had. They had foreseen the necessity of a skilled engineer when the tensions finally broke once again. When 2451 came and the ALA formed, the Abdmata'ke were quick to align themselves with it (along with the rest of Quizosa). His parents instructed him to become one of the best Tajaran engineers in history and return to serve the ALA. Mari was obedient and eventually saw the necessity of his skills in the coming war.

The trip to Nal'Tor was eye-opening for Mari. He ventured through the tense border skirmishes between the PRA and ALA. It was dangerous and terrifying to the Tajara who had spent little time outside of their village. In order to get across the border itself, Mari and the other Tajara in his group lied about wanting to 'escape back to the PRA and avoid ALA rule'. Being Zhan, they were searched and roughed up, although they were eventually cleared and let pass into PRA territory.

Upon arrival at NCCE, Mari met many new Tajara and began to see all new walks of life. The population at NCCE was mostly made up of loyalists. Mari was outspoken throughout his life. It was very difficult to not promote his beliefs openly. Mari got involved with a group of printers whom had been spreading ALA propaganda to Nal'Tor. It had little to no effect on the population, although that didn't stop Mari from helping them to spread information against the PRA. Mari was careful as he knew the penalty would be death to those who had been found to oppose Republican rule. Mari and others who had revealed themselves as ALA rebels to him remained firm in their beliefs.After four years, Mari received his degree in engineering. Regardless of his wants, he was contracted by NT immediately after his graduation. This was partially how his education was afforded. His appointment to the NSS Exodus (or Aurora depending on whatever station we are running at this point) was selected by his employment officer.

Today (or the acceptance day of his app) will be the first day Mari works on a real space station. He has great disdain for the cooperation he works for, but understands the necessity of the work he is slated to do. Mari is now 25. Even with his hate of the PRA/Human megacorperations and their mistreatment of the Zhan, he will be compliant with orders from his heads of staff and security. Even in ALA rule, Juntas (military leaders) have primary control over civilization. Mari can see the necessity of a chain of command and the requirement of workers to take orders to sustain a space station. As for the Humans on the station, Mari will be very distrusting. He knows that the Humans who work on the station are not the same as those who purchase cheap Tajara work. However, Mari himself has prejudice against the nature of humanity as his little experience with it prior to the station has been negative. Mari will follow orders- while being pessimistic and reluctant- given by CC. When it comes to other Tajara on station, Mari will be extremely contradictory if not refusing to follow orders given to him by Njarir. Luckily, the population of Njarir is extremely low. He will treat loyalists with civility but nothing more. Mari recognizes the fight is fought down on Adhomai and not on the Exodus (/Aurora). This does not mean that when mistreated Mari will be complacent. He will defend himself and what he believes in. The main reason for his safe behavior is the fear that he will lose his job and be sent back to Nal'Tor labeled as a rebel. And that would certainly lead to his hanging.

What do you like about this character?

I enjoy the passion that Mari has. He has a great want to help save the Tajara from the fate they have imposed on themselves. He is near religious in his following of the Liberation Army, which will prove to be a very interesting dynamic to play out. Seldom do I have a character so devoted to some ideal. I also appreciate the fierceness of Mari. Having worked north in the cold and harsh conditions, I can appreciate the courage that he will bring to the table. I am very excited to do my best to RP this character out (granted this app is accepted, of course).

How would you rate your role-playing ability? Probably a solid 7.5/10.

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Notes: How do you like the name? I did some research and am doing my best not to butcher the naming style of Arabic culture. I looked up parts of the name. Not sure if it looks to meh, though. Also, is it Mata'ke or Ma'ta'ke? I have seen it both ways now.

Edit: Revision and addition of content based on feedback. Added question.

Edit: Revision & Addition of content based on Mofo's feedback. See reply for more information.

Edited December 24, 2016 by Guest

[zyymurgy]

when the doctor teaches you to play just right

 

 

I love this guy. He's always fun to play with, and he's been fundamental in my revival of my original Taj, Zi, as a recurring character again. Without this guy I would have given up trying to learn other jobs, because I started branching out into medical first and it was hard, but he helped make it fun to learn IC too. I would love to have him join the cat family. I can confirm he's not a shitter and that he knows how to play jobs, but also knows how to genuinely roleplay. I'm satisfied with his RP skills enough to give a hearty +1 and I genuinely can't wait to see more characters from the makers of Park M.D.

[Mofo1995]

Heya! You don't seem to have a lot of feedback on your app, I'm going to give you a three day extension before I leave feedback of my own. I strongly encourage you to advertise your app on the server once around and to be active so other players can come to know you and leave me with information on what you're like. The more feedback, the better!

[Mofo1995]

Heyo! Just popping in to tell you I will be leaving my thoughts and feedback in another three days, another three day extension. While feedback isn't absolutely 100% required, it makes determining a whitelist application extremely easier to do and can really put some backbone into it. I'll be back on 22 December to read through and give you all my thoughts and see where we go from there.

[Coalf]

This is well, really solid actually you've covered all the fronts and actually gave a reason how an ALA supporter like him would make it onto a human space station.

Few things, most people that go through college don't come out the same as they spend most of their time away from their parents and he was basically surrounded by PRA supporters 24/7, wouldn't this influence and shake his views on the world at-least a bit? Did he try to promote ALA? For example he could have used the school news, or just simply talked to his friends about the possibilites without revealing himself?

And, why is he on Exodus anyways? Couldn't he just try and sign up with one of the ships that PRA has? Couldn't he just go back to fighting for ALA?

These are all pretty critical questions.

Also change the name or I'll go into full assblast mode random gen is shit, SHIIIIIIT

[MyBadMan]

Thanks for the feedback. I swear it wasn't random. I looked it up and shit I swear on me mum. The Abdmata'ke surname is "servent to mata'ke"... I think. And Marid'Ammar is The builder of revolution... I think.

Anyways, those are good questions. The reason he can't go and fight for the ALA once again is due to the fact that he went to college that pays for your education by a post-graduation signup for NT. He was placed on the Exodus. I like the idea of him subtly promoting the ALA throughout his education. I will make some edits to include ways that he could support the Army. While it may be a weak reason, I would say that he is such a fanatic about his religion and beliefs that they would be very hard to shake.

Thanks again for the help.

-MBM

[Mofo1995]

Hello! The time has come for me to give you some feedback. In addition to feedback, there were some things which I wanted clarification on.

 

Marid’Ammar, or Mari (Mah-Ree) was born into the Abdmata’ke family in 2433. He was born into a strictly Mata’ke household in the northern region. Quizosa was home to the small number of Liberation families, including the Abdmata’ke. His given name means the constructor of rebellion. From birth, his parents and elders had been teaching him the history of Adhomai. He learned of the hardships under the Njarir Plutocracy until the first uprising. People from his village gave light to the freedom that the Tajara felt when overthrowing their masters.

 

I like the themes here. He's born just after the revolution ended, and the revolutionary spirit is still strong and living on in every facet of Tajaran society, at all points upturning traditions and trying to redefine themselves as a species.

 

However, they also went into great depth about the atrocities set upon Tajara today. Mari’s parents taught him about the oppression forced upon the Zhan and others by the Human’s Corporations and corrupt Tajara leaders that were at the seat of the People’s Republic. As he grew up, Mari began to despise the Hadii family and the People’s Republic. He blamed them and their ancestors for allowing the rape of Adhomai’s resources. Mari believed they had no concerns for the future of the Tajara, and only for themselves.

 

This part is a bit iffy. Zhan telling each other "We're oppressed" is a-okay, because racial tensions are really high on Adhomai, especially after the revolution when clear racial lines continued to remain. BUT the mass exploitation by human corporations didn't begin quite yet, at least not visibly. If this is your character's teenage years, what would be going on now is that Al-Mari Hadii is at the helm of the People's Republic of Adhomai, and is giving advantageous trade deals to NanoTrasen for the export of Tajaran goods off-planet in exchange for the import of modern technology. It wasn't until his assassination in 2451 and the takeover of the government by Malik Hadii (his younger brother) that the PRA had a change of pace and started exporting massive amounts of Tajara off planet as cheap labor to NanoTrasen. This is when the ALA attempted a coup (which is still pending). Despite possible time inconsistency issues, the sentiments of human exploitation did exist prior to the second revolution, and especially when the second revolution blasted off, this was certainly part of the ALA plank for their right to rule: "Our government whores us out to humans."

 

Quizosa was cut off from the rest of the population of Adhomai. From his birth until recent years, Mari had never met a Tajara who did not support the Liberation Army (well, at least openly). Like his father, Mari began working in construction. He learned electrical wiring and the basics of construction from his father and the city. Much to his surprise and dismay, Mari’s parents had been saving for him to attend the Nal’tor College of Career Excellence. Mari hated the idea. He simply could not conceive being around Tajara who believed in the crimes being committed by the People’s Republic. However, his parents believed Mari could be much more than an average Zhan worker. They knew that this education would create the true ‘constructor of rebellion’ that Adhomai so desperately needed. They saw the opportunity NT offered to a post education career. His parents saw the benefits of their son getting to see the bigger picture of life from higher education. Mari was not going to prosper and lead Adhomai to a new future without having seen more of the world. The Abdmata’ke had secretly saved enough money to get Mari to the Capitol and into a starting year.

 

It's not very clear here how Quizosa was cut off from the rest of Adhomai. Is this the year 2451 and the second revolution broke out? Is his village now behind ALA lines on the Rasn'rr continent, and therefore cutoff from all the cities? Just pushing for some clarification here.

I find it somewhat dubious that his parents would want him to go to NCCE and then go off-world and work for NT. It seems to be a contradictory position to the former, that is, teaching about how terrible the PRA is and how exploitative NT is. BUT I understand that our game takes place on an NT space station in Tau Ceti, and not in Nal'Tor on Adhomai, so some justification has to exist for him to get to NT. So I provide a suggestion, perhaps they want him to get educated and serve a work term at NT so that one day he can return and be a competent engineer for the ALA? This is the first ALA character I will have seen since the last Tajara overseer left, so I certainly don't want to push away from or make it untenable for your character to have originated from the ALA, it's one of the strong points of this app for sure.

 

The trip to Nal’Tor proved to be one of the most dangerous trips Mari had ever taken. He ventured through Republic territory for days. He and his traveling crew had to come prepared with fake reasons for movement, history, names, locations, and personal information. Mari was conflicted with emotions for the majority of his travels. He felt strongly for the oppressed people of Adhomai, but also hatred for the ignorance and complacency illustrated by the loyalists. Mari’s calling to change the world grew and fired his new desire to save the Tajara from themselves.

 

This isn't entirely necessary, unless he absolutely did not want his actual identity to be known. The PRA claims that all Tajara, no matter where they are, are Republican citizens. All Mari would've of have to of done was to show up and say that he was fleeing the ALA or anything along the lines of trying to "return" to the PRA, and they would've taken him. Unless he was a known or suspected ALA fighter, they would've accepted him. And even then they're open despite distrusting to defectors. All in all, fake documents and such are unnecessary, especially considering he appears to have used his birth name for employment at NanoTrasen.

 

Upon arrival at NCCE, Mari met many new Tajara and began to see all new walks of life. The population at NCCE was mostly made up of loyalists. Mari was outspoken throughout his life. It was very difficult to not promote his beliefs openly. Mari got involved with a group of printers whom had been spreading ALA propaganda to Nal'Tor. It had little to no effect on the population, although that didn't stop Mari from helping them to spread information against the PRA. Mari was careful as he knew the penalty would be death to those who had been found to oppose Republican rule. After four years, Mari received his degree in engineering. Regardless of his wants, he was contracted by NT immediately after his graduation. This was partially how his education was afforded. His appointment to the NSS Exodus (or Aurora depending on whatever station we are running at this point) was selected by his employment officer.

Today (or the acceptance day of his app) will be the first day Mari works on a real space station. He has great disdain for the cooperation he works for, but understands the necessity of the work he is slated to do.

 

NCCE is pratically "NT college on Adhomai," so it's appropriate that he'd be sent off to work on Adhomai. The rebel press is an interesting take on student life, and I like that you've underscored the danger in it. How do you think Mari will act on station in relation to other Tajara? What about in relation to his non-Tajara coworkers? What will his personality and attitude on station be like? Will he be able to handle, say, corporate regulations and security/non-Tajara/non-ALA Tajara giving him orders or bossing him around?

[MyBadMan]

Hey. Revised the app and clarified dates, times, and motivations of the Adbmata'ke. Below are the summaries of the edits I made for some TL;DR

 

This part is a bit iffy. Zhan telling each other "We're oppressed" is a-okay, because racial tensions are really high on Adhomai, especially after the revolution when clear racial lines continued to remain. BUT the mass exploitation by human corporations didn't begin quite yet, at least not visibly.

To summarize, Mari learned about the hardships of Njarir rule and grew up with the racism that persisted after the first revolution. His dislike of the PRA began when he was young having been a discriminated against Zhan.

 

It's not very clear here how Quizosa was cut off from the rest of Adhomai. Is this the year 2451 and the second revolution broke out? Is his village now behind ALA lines on the Rasn'rr continent, and therefore cutoff from all the cities? Just pushing for some clarification here.

After trying to fix this, I decided that it was a) not aligning with the timeline that I chose for my character and b) not necessary for the progression of my character. It was removed.

 

I find it somewhat dubious that his parents would want him to go to NCCE and then go off-world and work for NT.

As per your suggestion I edited the paragraph. Overall, his parents knew that a good engineer would be extremely useful to protect the Zhan in the case of another uprising and began saving early on. Two years before his parents announced to Mari that he would be attending NCCE, the formation of the ALA began after the assassination of Al-Mari. His parents were now assured that their son would be of great use to the Zhan and the ALA post his education.

 

All in all, fake documents and such are unnecessary, especially considering he appears to have used his birth name for employment at NanoTrasen.

Edited paragraph to talk about crossing ALA/PRA borders and that he used the 'escaping ALA' excuse.

 

How do you think Mari will act on station in relation to other Tajara? What about in relation to his non-Tajara coworkers? What will his personality and attitude on station be like? Will he be able to handle, say, corporate regulations and security/non-Tajara/non-ALA Tajara giving him orders or bossing him around?

The answer is hard to summarize, but the main points is that orders from Njarir will be viewed very negatively, humans and their orders will be followed due to the corporate necessity, and non-ALA Tajara will be treated with civility. However, Mari is not afraid to defend his beliefs. He follows given orders because he is afraid of being sent back to Nal'Tor labeled as a 'rebel'.

Thanks for all the help and suggestions. Please let me know if my revisions were inadequate in any way.

-MBM

[Mofo1995]

Heyo! Sorry for taking two more days to respond to your application, I got a bit tied up in Christmas festivities. With the changes you made following my suggestions and with how responsive and constructive you've been with feedback, I think you and your character will make a good addition to the Tajaran race on server. He's young, starry eyed, filled with revolutionary spirit and a drive to be the very best that no one ever was. To wire solars is his test, to maintain them is his cause... I got carried away.

Merry Christmas and-

Application Approved!

[Mofo1995]

Uh, the webinterface is glitching up for me a little bit, it's not letting me give you the whitelist, BUT I've messaged the dev in control of it and should be able to resolve the issue and get it to you within 24 hours or so!

[Mofo1995]

Fixed! You now have your whitelist.