LordFowl Posted December 28, 2017 Posted December 28, 2017 BYOND Key: LordFowl Character Names: Maximus Crane, K'orzga Rakhir, Waelin Qoul-Nuul'put, Taelir Q'pol Species you are applying to play: Tajara What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Taupe Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes. Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: It will complete my collection, of course. Tajara also tend to have the tightest cohesion in-game, in both terms of co-operation and conflict. They marry lore and gameplay well, and while I've had interactions with bad Tajara my good interactions tend to be the more memorable. As such, I'd like to myself participate in this interactions not as a bystander but as an active member. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: As I've mentioned above, Tajara appear to be unique amongst other species in that their roleplay is enhanced primarily by other Tajara. Their rich history and customs allow for deeper conflict and greater co-operation. The dynamics that result among these species tend to create some of the more remarkable player-driven stories. Individually, their backstories allow for more depth due to the well-realized lore. Character Name: Borislav Kosterlovovich Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs tabtabtabtabtabBorislav Krasimir Abdul Husaam al-Riaz Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau Kodiri Kosterlovovich was born December 7th, 2405, as Rrazhkhun’khalzuhn Kodiri Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau in the Nraz’i mountains to an Al’mari farming family in the service of clan Hadii. His father Kryazkiv bred and slaughtered N’hanzafu with prudent if not a little miserly care, while his mother Royhlakiva wove garments from the wool and crafted tools and trinkets from the horns for sale. Borislav and his younger siblings cared for the cheeses and the meats in their youth, and often took the produce to market with their mother. As Borislav aged however he graduated from the skirts of his mother and assisted his father in the family’s livelihood. He would often be left solely in charge of shepherding the N’hanzafu while his father left to bargain with the Hadii men who came frequently to collect the peasantry’s dues. During these extended periods of solitude, left alone with his thoughts on the yawning icy pastures of the Nraz’i foothills through which the farming community of Al’mari sprawled, young Borislav often dreamt of a higher calling as young kits do. He spied the humble farmer driving his cart from atop the Raharr, and he recoiled, instead preferring the ambitions of the Enforcer’s who rode on their Zhsram throughout the villages, collecting for the Hadii. He envisioned these brave men and women as noble defenders and less as brigands, and ardently desired to one day wear their intimidating armor and wield the sword of Hadii. tabtabtabtabtabTo this end, in the twilight weeks of the year 2420, shortly after his sixteenth birthday, he departed from his Al’mari homestead. Travelling to the west, through the Nraz’i mountains, he endeavored to reach Fort Hadii where he might join the military forces of the lords who had ruled over his family for innumerable generations. The political climate of Adhomai was fiery and tumultuous, and news of first contact with the enigmatic humans had reached even the lowest of Hadii peasants, though the factual details were much obscured by legend and rumor. Nevertheless, young Borislav was not ignorant of the political ramifications of this event, and even amongst his own peers he heard whispers of rebellion. He knew this would be an ideal time to pursue his ambition as the nobility began bolstering their standing armies in fear of war, and he perhaps naively believed that with great demonstration of loyalty and strength he might be personally recognized by Lord Hadii. Shortly after he enlisted within the Alam’ardii of the Hadii as a basic infantryman, in the early months of 2421, the Great War erupted. While training was fierce Borislav saw little actual conflict in the first years of the war, being kept in reserve by the Hadii nobles to defend Hadii lands while other nobles wasted their armies in pursuit of the dying dream. His primary duty for the early years of the war was defending the sprawling Al’mari city center as part of several elements entrenched throughout the Nraz’i foothills, keeping watch for a rebel army that many of his comrades believed would be destroyed long before it ever reached Hadii soil. While his family toiled in the economic drought of war, Borislav was taught to despise the rebel by his M’sai sergeants and his Njariri officers, to despise them for the bloodshed and discord they brought upon Hadii lands, to despise them for co-operating with the aliens who sought to displace noble rule with their own puppets. Young, impressionable, and loyal to the end, Borislav devoured these teachings with great voracity, all the while hungering still to be uplifted to the ranks of the lesser nobles, the enforcers and the officers who he still revered. As the war progressed however, this worship would begin to crack and as the fighting began to encroach upon Hadii lands and as word of loyalist atrocities began to rival that of the rebel atrocities he had been taught Borislav began to worry that perhaps his sergeants and his officers were not as noble as once he had believed, and he began to wonder if perhaps the rebel was not entirely wrong in their beliefs. tabtabtabtabtabHe did not have much time to ruminate on these thoughts, as the rebel fighting finally reached Al’mari, and the trenches he and his comrades had first dug years ago begin to fill with blood. The fighting in the city outskirts was fierce, and many sleepless nights were spent repelling the vanguards of the rebel horde as emplacements to either side of his own began to crumble and crack. Days after the first shot the rebel assaults began to dwindle, and at first Borislav and his comrades began to think that victory was at hand. Their superiors knew better however, and to the great surprise of many of the enlisted Rhgrrhuzau Hadii ordered the withdrawal of the forces to castle Hadii, sacrifice Al’mari in favor of concentrating defense on the homesteads of the nobility. As the Alam’ardii retreated the enigmatic reasoning soon became obvious to Borislav as reports of the rear column’s collapse to coordinated rebel laser fire, a horrific departure from the primitive weapons the rebel vanguard had been using, a weapon that the primitive emplacements of the Alam’ardii was no match for. Borislav did not feel safe until the gates of castle Hadii had slammed shut behind his platoon, but while there was much security there was no rest, and he was quickly stationed in a distant turret atop a drum tower along the outer wall of castle Hadii, with two other soldiers and a large gatling gun. The M’sai sergeant, named Rrhakhun, was responsible for aiming the gun while Borislav pumped the crank and a Zhan-Khazan named Krrazghan was responsible for keeping the emplacement loaded. tabtabtabtabtabThe six-month long siege of castle Hadii had begun, though to Borislav it seemed more like an eternity. The days were long and lonely, with none but the imperious sergeant and the tight-lipped Zhan-Khazan to keep pensive Borislav company. He began to miss ardently the days of his youth where he might be kept company by his loving family, his mother and his siblings, but even in the worst of times he was never far from the N’hanzafu who would listen to his troubles with placid ears. He barely remembered the passion of his young-self, and he scorned the naïve dreams of grandeur that had led him to this place, but judging from the fiery glow on the horizon that marked Al’mari from his high tower, he began to wonder if these dreams were the only reason he was still alive. These thoughts were often interrupted by innumerable rebel forays and countless loyalist sorties, each one brief but individually memorable as indescribably bloody. From high atop his tower it all seemed so futile – any ground one side gained in their assault was soon lost to the other side in the next. For the first few weeks of the invasion his tower never fired a single shot as the modern trenches surrounding the ancient walls bore the brunt of rebel assault. Nonetheless, despite Borislav’s analysis the no man’s land slowly began to shrink as the rebel forces began to bolster from reinforcements and the loyalist forces began to dwindle. By the second month of the siege the outer trenches had fallen, and for the remaining four months Borislav’s tower would shake like an earthquake had struck, so often was the gatling gun fired indiscriminately at the ant-like hordes that swarmed the foot of the walls. Borislav’s arms would feel numb, like wooden prosthetics hanging limply from his shoulder, so much did he pump the gatling’s crank throughout the day. Some days so continuous was the fighting that Rrhakhun would give the order to crank in the morning and Borislav would crank without cease throughout the day, only taking the briefest of breaks when the Rrhakhun surmised the weapon could take no more gave it a few minutes to cool down. Throughout these final months Borislav finally broke through the quiet Krrazghan and made a comrade out of him, though the M’sai Rrhakhun still remained as imperious and aloof as ever, consorting only with sergeants from other turrets in the long hours of the night when the rebels licked their wounds. tabtabtabtabtabAs the final weeks of the siege approached unbeknownst to Borislav, the fighting began to look its grimmest. Both he and Krrazghan agreed that the outcome was not to be in their favor, and they began to wonder if their loyalty, broken long ago as it was, bound them to die like dogs to the rebel armies that thronged to the castle walls like an ocean hugs a beach. In the final week of the siege they devised a rough plan to murder Rrhakhun and defect to the rebels, where they might easily desert after the war was won. As fate would have it however, this plan was never realized and before they could strike their sergeant the infamous deal between Hadii and the rebels was struck, and the hordes departed from the walls of castle Hadii as quickly as they had come. Hadii’s forces were still confined to the castle, but no longer was the constant threat of gruesome and ignoble death held over the heads of the Alam’ardii. The final months of the war passed without incident, and it was sooner than he knew it that Borislav and his comrades were freed from their imposed confinement, veterans at last. tabtabtabtabtabReturning to the ruins of Al’mari, Borislav found no sign of the past he had once known – the pastures were no more than ashes, the farms mere husk, and his family gone without trace. He hoped they had defected to the rebels, but he feared that they occupied a mass grave somewhere in the foothills of the indifferent Nraz’i mountains. With no trade and no family and no hand in the reconstruction efforts of the city that he and his superiors had failed to defend Borislav found himself returning to military service after some years of poverty despite the oaths he made to forsake such a career after the resolution of the Great War. The armies of the People’s Republic were not much different to the armies he had once known, and he found himself quickly re-integrating into the dark habits of old. Twenty years of tenuous peace could not be held equivalent to ten years of fierce, bloody war, and his nights were filled by dreams weighed heavily by the atrocities of the war he once knew. Forty-six by the outbreak of the second Great War Borislav found himself exempt from the confusing loyalties that fractured the People’s Republic with the secession of Nated’Hakhan, and before his unit ever saw conflict he was discharged on account of his failing eyesight. tabtabtabtabtabDismayed by the constant cycle of bloody war and fitful peace, he fled Adhomai one late evening 2452, and with the assistance of his old comrade Krrazghan – now Artyom and the head of a moderately successful goods distributor based out of Mendell, Borislav found only moderate difficult in integrating with the alien workforce, and worked without reservation under Artyom, spending the long days protecting goods as they moved throughout Little Adhomai and Mendell City, and wasting away the short nights reminiscing with Artyom and the innumerable other veterans who had been displaced throughout the years, drifting inexorably towards Tau Ceti. Artyom’s health began to decline in 2456, and under Borislav’s counsel he retired to live the remainder of his years in relative peace, leaving his company, which had by now become global, in the hands of the investors. Inevitably, NanoTrasen purchased it, gutted it, and spread its remaining workers throughout the NanoTrasen corporate fleet. It was under such circumstance that Borislav was hired aboard the NSS Aurora, now an old veteran of 54 with only a little more kick in his bones. His once vibrant taupe mane began to grey, and his eyesight dwindled so severely that he spent much money in procuring spectacles. The dreams of his youth had by now crumbled completely, and he was content to spend his final years as little more than an old warhorse toiling at honest work in a warehouse full of dusty goods that did not scream, did not bleed, and did not talk much at all. What do you like about this character? he is oc donut steel. I also liked writing about the first Great War when it seems many characters find their Space 'Nam in the second Great War, so I am looking forward to the interactions this backstory might bring. How would you rate your role-playing ability? A solid apple out of ten. Notes: An actual note! I never thought this section would ever see use: The backstory is written assuming that ancestral Hadii lands are held in Al'mari at the base of fort Hadii based on the reasoning that it is what someone would obviously think fort Hadii = castle Hadii, Al'mari is named after the previous lord Hadii or vice versa, but there is just as much an argument for declaring that ancestral Hadii lands are in Nal'Tor based on the reasoning that president Hadii would make his home the capital - the wiki is not clear on the matter, insofar as I could tell.
Butterrobber202 Posted December 28, 2017 Posted December 28, 2017 your story is too long for me to read so I'll assume it is good. Fowl's a cool dude and dedicated alot of time into the server and this app. +1
Mofo1995 Posted December 31, 2017 Posted December 31, 2017 I've read everything up to the second paragraph, give me one more night to read the rest- I mismanaged my night after work today in particular. Only input so far: Borislav Krasimir Abdul Husaam al-Riaz Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau Kodiri Kosterlovovich Am I being memed?
LordFowl Posted December 31, 2017 Author Posted December 31, 2017 I've read everything up to the second paragraph, give me one more night to read the rest- I mismanaged my night after work today in particular. Only input so far: Borislav Krasimir Abdul Husaam al-Riaz Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau Kodiri Kosterlovovich Am I being memed? I asked resident cat lore expert Alberyk and he said make the name as long as reasonably possible. I then considered in addition what the Tajara wiki had to say, in that Tajara take their clan names as their humanized middle names. I then created a humanized name (Borislav Krasimir Kosterlovovich), and added the character's true tajara name (Rrazhkhun’khalzuhn Kodiri Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau), removed (Rrazhkhun’khalzuhn) because of the ol' razzle dazzle, and then jammed the rest of it in there as a middle name. Do not tell me that I was deceived by Alberyk.
Mofo1995 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 I've read everything up to the second paragraph, give me one more night to read the rest- I mismanaged my night after work today in particular. Only input so far: Borislav Krasimir Abdul Husaam al-Riaz Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau Kodiri Kosterlovovich Am I being memed? I asked resident cat lore expert Alberyk and he said make the name as long as reasonably possible. I then considered in addition what the Tajara wiki had to say, in that Tajara take their clan names as their humanized middle names. I then created a humanized name (Borislav Krasimir Kosterlovovich), and added the character's true tajara name (Rrazhkhun’khalzuhn Kodiri Vahzirthaamro Rhagrrhuzau), removed (Rrazhkhun’khalzuhn) because of the ol' razzle dazzle, and then jammed the rest of it in there as a middle name. Do not tell me that I was deceived by Alberyk. While making the name as long as reasonably possible is bad advice, I mostly just wanted to make sure you weren't being zany with a name like that. The citations to lore and the explanation perfectly justify it. To be honest, it's the first time I've seen the lore about clan name being a middle name actually being implemented. With regards to the entire rest of the application, it strongly reinforces how old Borislav is compared to most Tajara characters who are too young to remember a time without introduction to humanity. Taking it from the top, there was some solid integration of the fauna lore here as the young Borislav worked on the farms. It's a nice depiction of common peasant life, even as it is today for many rural Tajara. But the two strongest aspects which immediately stand out to me are the rare elements of his story. Firstly, that he is a first great war veteran instead of second, and secondly that he fought for the nobility. I can only think of one other character I've ever encountered who can claim both of those, and unlike Borislav they did defect during the war. Your writing is very dense and highly descriptive, which probably contributed to the lack of community feedback here, but a bunch of +1s and -1s without elaboration is worthless anyways, so if anything you've weeded out the plebs. Now that we've covered the unique items, let's review backstory. It starts off like a lot of other Tajara applications, but the shift in context to being a time before world breaking decade long wars changes the situation a bit. We have that same young starry eyed Tajara who wants to become a soldier, except this time it's peacetime and there doesn't seem to be much ideological motivation beyond simple patriotism. But you've sneaked in this nice implication that they're just brigands in uniform going about forcibly collecting taxes- something Borislav realizes once he's one of them. The second paragraph is mostly a history lesson with demonstration of lore comprehension with some agreeable minor OC lore additions, but it's also the start of his disillusionment with nobility and his military superiors. The next two paragraphs- the battles for Al'mari and Castle Hadii- are the most exciting. The tactical withdrawal from the city leaving them at the mercy of the angry and definitely violent rebels to defend the castle showed a great understanding about how the old system (and the systems that followed it for that matter) were built around protecting the people in power. The military priorities were around defending Hadii's personal property rather than the local cities. But, arguably, it was the soundest strategic decision as well considering they only narrowly held out before the Hadii family co-opted the revolution and assumed global power. The siege itself with the three Tajara in the guard tower with a gatling gun was tense, and the conspiracy with the Zhan to overthrow the sergeant and defect really added to the desperation of the situation. One line in however confused me on first read and subsequent reread. Throughout these final months Borislav finally broke through the quiet Krrazghan and made a comrade out of him, though the M’sai Rrhakhun still remained as imperious and aloof as ever, consorting only with sergeants from other turrets in the long hours of the night when the rebels licked their wounds. Maybe I've been reading too many degenerate doujins, but at first I took this to mean Borislav and Krrazghan had gay love and Rrhakhun and the other sergeants were doing weird things. I think the tendency of some Tajara players to hypersexualize their characters has conditioned me to be cautious and assuming, but I realize now what you were saying was that Borislav and Krrazhgan became friends and cut through the military formality, whereas Rrhakhun still clung to process and procedure and remained cold and superior to them. Going on, Borislav's life just keeps hitting new lows, such as living in poverty for awhile before being forced to re-enlist in the very army that he had fought against so desperately- ironically still fighting for the same people. By the outbreak of the second war he is an old man with no known surviving family members or even really ties to Adhomai. All that's left for him there is pain. The circumstances of his immigration to Biesel is another part which is unique, Krrazghan's little shipping company. Most people, myself included, just had their characters go straight from Adhomai to Nanotrasen. As a result, the lore is written to facilitate that sudden jump, but your character going to work for a small time company founded and operated by one of his old comrades was fresh air. Having it be bought and split up by NanoTrasen was a nice touch and a completely plausible and far more interesting excuse to place your character on the station rather than the old "cheap labor lmao" concept which people are encouraged to use for lack of greater creativity. And so, Borislav is once again left alone in the world with everything he's ever really known lost again. Overall its a very strong application that I don't find very many faults in, and I know you're a fully competent, capable, and talented roleplayer and (former) lore writer. So I have no problems handing out this whitelist. Application accepted.
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