Farcry11

Farcry11, A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Rusty Shackleford, known atheist "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Rusty and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!" At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life server moderator champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of moderation and fully supported all decisions made by the Server Staff stood up and held up a rock. "How old is this rock, scrub?" The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 Billion years, you stupid Christian" "Wrong. It's been 5000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution is, as you say, real... them it should be an animal now" The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Server. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears, the same tears liberals cry for the "greyshirts" (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Farcry11, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a hammer to ban himself from embarrassment, but he himself had posted a staff complaint against them! The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Space Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Skull" flew in and perched atop a NanoTrasem flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The server rules were read several times, and God himself showed up and agreed to host the server for free for the rest of all time. Farcry11 lost his tenure and was banned the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed in to the lake of fire for all eternity. (Before you get mad, it's just a modified copypasta lel)

The prank potential of this pleases me. It pleases me greatly.

Back in my day we used to walk 20 miles in the space snow to strangle wizards in their sleep. Preemptively. You whippersnappers don't know a thing about peacekeeping.

Peter Thrustwood X The entire crew

Sec needs anesthetic water cannons in place of tasers. Also, a music box that plays soothing tunes as part of riot gear. Make it happen.

*slips back in to server on a semiregular basis quietly*

If Incog is Spike, then I'm Dandy.

Enkas wins.

Son, sometimes, things just happen and we can't explain why. It's just one of the facts of life. Like the birds and the bees. Or your mom. I don't know.

I remembered it very differently, actually. Jason and Analiese were talking in a side room (WHERE EVERYONE KEPT STOPPING TO WATCH THEM) and Analiese brought up that she didn't want to be with Jason for cheating on her multiple times, when the only time Jason had ever cheated on her was kissing a woman when he was in severe emotional distress because his fiancee was dead, and Analiese had just spent a shift admiring her ex-boyfriend. Analiese began to leave and Jason grabbed her and pulled her away from the door, and before he was able to do anything, Izemut, Vincent, and Jakob showed up and arrested him. After Jason had fought to get his PDA back, he messaged her a few times apologizing for what was a completely inappropriate action. After being let free, and being told that more or less he wasn't going to be allowed to do his job, he was wandering the halls, when Jakob appeared and got him into a room, where Vincent, Izemut, and Jakob all beat him with various weaponry, and Milo watched. DRAMA

So... My relationship counseling and katana deathmatch were all for nothing?

Farcry could only look on in anguish as the scummy drug dealer Hive blew off Pump(his one true love)'s head. He gritted his teeth, his vision becoming red, and then he put his foot to the floor. The corvette burst in to motion, crashing in to Hive and sending him flying. Farcry jumped out of the car, wielding a claw hammer, and approached Hive's mangled, twisted body. Kneeling down, he grabbed Hive by the hair. Pulling his face closer, Farcry choked out, in a pained voice, "Why?" Hive looked back, his eyes empty. His mouth twisted in to a cruel, crooked grin, and blood began to leak from it. He was dying, and all he had to say was... "kek get rekt loser 360nosc-" His tirade was cut short by the claw hammer tearing in to his eye socket. Farcry struck him again and again, pulping his head and staining the sand of the Miami beach a dark, insidious crimson. Finally, hands shaking, he dropped the hammer and stood. Collecting himself, he retrieved a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his letterman jacket. Putting a cig between his gore-spattered lips, he lit it up, exhaling smoke out of his nose. Looking out across the waves of the nocturnal Atlantic, he noted how the moon seemed to dance upon the sea like a beautiful ballerina. He returned to his car, and drove away in to the night, leaving it all far behind.

Cowboy Bebop, Aim for the Top!: Gunbuster, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood And if you want some good animated movies... Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade, Princess Mononoke, Porco Rosso, Paprika, Tokyo Godfathers, Sword of the Stranger.

I'm of the personal belief that Vladimir Putin is in fact the avatar of God on Earth. Blessed is the ground where he walks. Also, can't wait for ISIS to get super rekt. They don't really seem to be making any friends, and they'll over stretch themselves soon enough (assuming they keep expanding). Then they'll get asploded.

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD SQUEEEEE

On an edgy scale of 1 to 11, I'm Coldsteel the Hedgehog. Nothing personnel... kid

Farcry and Chaz stepped on to the elevator, holding hands. Unbeknownst to the pair, the other person on the elevator with them (a man wearing a pastel pink suit, an orange cap, and reflective sunglasses), was a hitman named Rusty. He had been sent by the Russian mafia due to a botched money pickup involving Farcry. The three stood there in silence, none of them aware of the intentions or identities of the others. Holding Chaz in his arms, Farcry glanced over at the man in the suit- and caught a glimpse of a concealed tentacle. Suddenly, the situation became clear. Turning, Farcry pulled Chaz close and gave him a long, passionate kiss. Letting him go, he whirled around, slamming Rusty's face in to the elevator wall. The hitman slumped to the floor, tentacles and sand spilling out of his pockets. Farcry raised a boot-clad foot, and stomped on Rusty's head again and again until all that could be heard was a wet squelching. The door opened, and Chaz ran out, horrified. Farcry didn't attempt to follow him. The last thing Chaz saw before the elevator doors closed was Farcry staring at him, a look of longing in his eyes. (No I didn't steal the scene idea leave me alone)

Right. Here we go. I'm a 16 year old who lives in Northern California (the Bay Area, to be exact) I love writing and reading. I plan on becoming a journalist. However... My true aspirations are to travel the world. Even if being a journalist doesn't work out, I'd just as readily become an aid worker, a sailor, etc., as long as it allows me to travel. I recently enrolled in a school which has a reputation for being the place where all the weirdos that normal schools can't handle go. Fitting in quite nicely. Like Tuiee, my favorite musical genre is eighties-revival techno (though I listen to pretty much every genre). My favorite artist is Perturbator. I have a crippling inability to fully immerse myself in social media. How do Instagram? I prefer motorcycles/other two-wheeled vehicles to cars, because spacial reasoning is a bitch. It's the biggest bitch ever. FUN FACTS: I've read The Hobbit about 20 times (no, the movies don't do it justice. T_T) I have consumed more intoxicating substances in the past month than I have in the rest of my life combined (then again, I live in the Bay Area and actually have friends now, so bleh). I got in one fistfight every year for all 3 years of middle school. They always ended with me and my opponent being buddies. Fistfights > Intelligent discussion. Recently went to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. May or may not have gotten up on stage half dressed and danced around. I have never broken a bone. Hooray. I own exactly two hats. Both are of fine quality.

So, recently, I stayed up all night (literally all night) to cram for a test or two and to finish up on some challenging homework. To stay awake, I chugged some coffee, and took a moderate dosage of pharmaceutical stimulant. Things were going alright, and I made good headway. That is, until I hit the 3 AM mark. I dropped what I was working, and opened my notebook. Later in the morning, I looked in my notebook again, not exactly remembering what I wrote. The entire page was covered in random musings, anecdotes, and quotes, none of them really related to each other. Here they are. "Come for the jokes, stay for the ---> melancholy." "Hell is other ____." "Be (anti-personnel) mine." "Love is like a perpetual hug on a winter night." which was followed immediately after by: "Lust is like a perpetual dry humping session on a summer day???" "I wish people were as easy to read as books." "My imaginary plants died, I did not pretend to water them." "!I fix your brain!" "I have no mouth and I must laugh." "Why can't we all just hug it out?" Finally, perhaps the strangest of all, a rambling analogy about life that took up half the page: "Life is like a bike ride down a poorly maintained road running through a beautiful countryside. Your ass hurts from the potholes and the cracks, but the air is fresh and the scenery is good, and you keep going because at the end maybe there's a god or a prize or an epiphany or a sense of self worth or maybe nothing but it's OK because no matter what we all get there someday and that's all we really need." I also drew a three-eyed demon saying "swag". Maybe I need help or something. Anyways, if this happens again for any reason I'll post about it here. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your random thoughts, about any subject. Throw 'em up here whenever you feel like airing them. (P.S, I don't condone sleep deprivation + caffeine highs to achieve a whacked-out state of mind. Long term consequences = not great.)

I usually stick to one simple policy: Stay away from /pol/acks

*Hugs Incog* Shhh... Shhh. No pain now, only dreams. Also, I'll probably come back and play once in a while. Just saying I won't be on regularly anymoar.

Hey, guys. It's been a while, and I suppose that this is a long overdue message. So, with school having started a while ago, I've quite suddenly gone from spending most of my time indoors and on the computer, to spending almost all my free time out and about. To put it simply, I guess I just got more interested in real life than the 2D spacemen. Regardless... I wanted to thank all of you for helping me through a rough year of my life. You were all my friends and you always will be- and the hours of fun you offered me always detracted from whatever hurts I was suffering from in the real world. I had fun building this community with the lot of you, and to be genuine, from the bottom of my heart, I think I love you guys for all the stuff we did together. But! We all move on eventually. I'm in a different period of my life now, hopefully a better one, and I'm happier for it. I hope you'll all be happy too. TL;DR: Goodbye, much fun, <3 <3 <3