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[Declined] Furrycactus' Skrell Lore Deputy Application


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Ckey/BYOND Username:
Furrycactus

Position Being Applied For:
Skrell Lore Deputy

Past Experiences/Knowledge:
Several years of general roleplay experience prior to joining Aurora, positions in lore development teams for three roleplay communities prior to Aurora, avid D&D player for a few years.

Examples of Past Work:
No lore work on Aurora, but I've contributed several map related things in my time here. https://github.com/Aurorastation/Aurora.3/commits?author=furrycactus

Additional Comments:
I chose to write my essay on the topic of Skrellian psionic abilities and telepathy, which can be found here. If you don't like the ideas proposed in the document, that's fine, but I at least hope it was an enjoyable read. :)

Timezone: GMT+10 currently, GMT+11 when in Daylight Savings.

Edited by Senpai Jackboot
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I know FurryCactus is quite an avid player who can get quite invested into whatever he's exploring/enjoy now. I believe he would be a good addition to the team as a person and would have some new and interesting ideas.

However to criticize the work itself.

In my opinion, it is weak.
I felt bored through the entire first quarter, the text went on and on about terms that seemed to have zero attachments to them as for example Revealed and Obscured, which if memory serves were not mentioned again after their first introduction making it kinda redundant. The idea of SROM and people growing up with it is rarely explored, sure we get a few notes on how skrell interact in it and how parents regard it and the idea of it being skrell puberty was cute. But it gives us a lot of very generic, unimportant information like who was the youngest to achieve it, the oldest, what kind of party skrells throw.
I'd rather be told how this impacts society itself. After all, would that mean teenagers feel even more detached from society because of their inability to reach SROM and talk to the adults? I feel like there is a lot of interesting societal questions you avoided answering to flesh out things that really didn't need to be fleshed out.

The other half was considerably better. I liked the comparison of SROM-abled and normal human dreaming but again it was bogged down with unnecessary types when I would actually appreciate calling these by actual disease names instead of "type a" or "type b". The punishment of prisoners was also interesting and hinted on what COULD be done with the whole essay but was buried underneath technicalities and very meaty and thick explanations of considerably non-important things.

In short, if your entire essay was as well done as the second half I would give it a wholehearted plus one but right now I'd like to see how you can take this criticism

Keep trying and good luck.

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5 hours ago, Coalf said:

I know FurryCactus is quite an avid player who can get quite invested into whatever he's exploring/enjoy now. I believe he would be a good addition to the team as a person and would have some new and interesting ideas.

However to criticize the work itself.

In my opinion, it is weak.
I felt bored through the entire first quarter, the text went on and on about terms that seemed to have zero attachments to them as for example Revealed and Obscured, which if memory serves were not mentioned again after their first introduction making it kinda redundant. The idea of SROM and people growing up with it is rarely explored, sure we get a few notes on how skrell interact in it and how parents regard it and the idea of it being skrell puberty was cute. But it gives us a lot of very generic, unimportant information like who was the youngest to achieve it, the oldest, what kind of party skrells throw.
I'd rather be told how this impacts society itself. After all, would that mean teenagers feel even more detached from society because of their inability to reach SROM and talk to the adults? I feel like there is a lot of interesting societal questions you avoided answering to flesh out things that really didn't need to be fleshed out.

The other half was considerably better. I liked the comparison of SROM-abled and normal human dreaming but again it was bogged down with unnecessary types when I would actually appreciate calling these by actual disease names instead of "type a" or "type b". The punishment of prisoners was also interesting and hinted on what COULD be done with the whole essay but was buried underneath technicalities and very meaty and thick explanations of considerably non-important things.

In short, if your entire essay was as well done as the second half I would give it a wholehearted plus one but right now I'd like to see how you can take this criticism

Keep trying and good luck.

Thanks for the feedback Coalf, I'm glad that you took the time to look over what I wrote, and I appreciate the honest and detailed responses.

As for the content of what you're said, I agree that too often I had too much of a tendency to expand on unimportant information in place of the areas with more substance, which I feel is a weakness of mine. Sometimes I start writing on a point and get distracted, writing on a tangent instead, and don't stop until a new point comes along. It's something I've always done, and something I've been trying to improve on over the years, but I'm evidently not quite there yet.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the second half more, as I feel I did put more work into that one, having written it over two days and such, but I realise that it still suffered from my extended description on less important things. As for simply using "type a" and "type b" and such, I did intend to come up with a proper medical term for each of those, but I was really really really bad at that, and elected to use simpler terms for the time being, but I can see that I've ended up just shooting myself in the foot again in doing that.

Ultimately I've read over the essay a number of times since posting it, and I've seen many things that I'd change or remove or add, but I didn't really think I was allowed to do so, so I left them. But I agree wholeheartedly with your criticisms of it, and I'll take the advice on board for next time, should I try writing something similar. Genuinely, thank you for the input, Coalf. :)

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Guest Marlon Phoenix

Thank you for your application. The Skrell Developer @VTCobaltblood  has chosen another applicant, so this thread will be locked and archived. Feel free to reapply when a position opens in the future.

Edited by Marlon Phoenix
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