1138's Head Whitelist Reapplication, version 1.62, revision

March 4, 2015

BYOND key: oneonethreeeight

Character names: Talia Varick, Dima Ruslanovich, Bertor, Hardin Stryker, Vira De Santos

How long have you been playing on Aurora?: Since August. Or was it September?

Why do you wish to be on the whitelist?: To pass on the knowledge I've acquired after a few months of a forcible time-out period upon other players, to inspire others to look at their positive qualities and reinforce them whilst also productively stamping out their weaknesses. To be given the chance of redemption, to prove that even the worst can rise from what they were and become better people.

Why did you come to Aurora?: I bounced around a good majority of the servers after Facepunch Station 13 unfortunately went down. I lingered around Hypatia for awhile, and got to know the old staff a bit. Eventually, they all retired and newer faces replaced them in their wake, and Hypatia eventually transitioned into a much more different dynamic than what I was accustomed to. Just as the others did, I left. I tested and tried out Aurora for a bit, attempted to get a general feel for the roleplay aspect of the server, and decided to stick quietly to it. Eventually, I performed enough hijinks and hilarity that my ckey ended up becoming one of the worst guilty pleasures to ever see shitposting in OOC. I'm joking, but I do believe I have made my mark in some places, if you'll pardon my overtly generous self-descriptions. So, long story short, I couldn't fit in any other place at the time, so I picked a vantage point and dug in.

Have you read the BS12 wiki on the head roles you plan on playing?: Yes, several times.

Please provide well articulated and argumented answers to the following questions in a paragraph each.

Give a definition of what you think roleplay is, and should be about: Ooh, fun question, and I imagine my answer has changed many times over the course of the few months I've been here. What is roleplay, Delta? What's the direction roleplay should be taken, Boss? Of course, these questions are asking for my opinion, so I'll do that and annoy literally everyone.

Roleplay is what I define as a player creating a character, with all of their little quirks and peeves that people would have in real life, and essentially drive their characters. They act, speak, and think as what they think their character would be. Sometimes, people make subjectively 'good' characters, in that they are extremely relateable to people in real life, which forms a connection between that player, the character, and the other players/characters that encounter the character. When you make a character like this you get... attached. You feel as though the character acts on their own rather than being driven by your own perception of what they should be doing (an illusion, of course, but that's psychology for you). To add to this, roleplay also consists of the player and their character interacting with other player-driven characters within that world. They interact (almost) just like real people, in most instances of social interaction. They have wants, feelings, dreams, love. There is no more personal thing than participating in roleplay, there are consistent and constant interconnected bonds and relationships that were fabricated and developed just by pure human imagination. It's utterly intoxicating just thinking about it, but I'll cut to the chase (and the melodrama) and move onto part 2 of this.

The direction that roleplay should be taken (again, opinion)? Just to reinforce and nurture all of the above. To preserve the bonds that involve us, our characters, and the immersive ideal of human imagination as a whole. To work together to make an absolute masterpiece without requiring any skill or college-level learning. All that you need is: imaaaaaaaginaaaaation, and the will and effort to see the dream of the masterpiece seen through for all to revel and participate in.

What do you think the OOC purpose of a Head of Staff is, ingame?: Now that we're done getting all teary-eyed over what roleplay is, I'll get down to brass tacks. Opinion: The purpose of a head of staff is to manifest a leader personality within the roleplay environment in order to inspire characters ICly to strive and motivate towards a set goal or objective. OOCly, it's mostly the same thing, but for players. And by "mostly", and here I mean what isn't included in the IC perspective, is to forge pillars of the community that will allow for the subordinate players themselves to be ambitious and have themselves seek this very same honor. To want to become better than they are.

What do you think the OOC responsibilities of Whitelisted players are to other players, and how would you strive to uphold them?: To be fair and just when given complicated situations where there is no truly right solution, to be supportive and helpful even whilst on edge and being overwhelmed by stress, to never falter in the face of danger, to lead by example and show that others can be positive influences just as they are.

Please pick one of your characters for this section, and provide well articulated responses to the following questions.

Ah, I was drafting a RD character long ago but one of the updates wiped their character sheet entirely. Guess I'll have to use an older one for this.

Character name: Vira De Santos (oh shit it's queen latina bitch again, run)

Character age: 41

Please provide a short biography of this character (approx 2 paragraphs):

Vira was born on the planet Isis, in the Epsilon Eridani system, to an upper-middle class family. Though her mother died shortly after she turned 3 due to kidney failure, Vira's father willingly raised her alone, though some lessons that were taught were not always for the best. The lifestyle for Vira was very difficult, given the glaring lack of a maternal figure to look towards. Growing up, Vira was very tomboyish and occasionally took to dressing up and posing as a boy to fit in the adolescent crowds. Eventually, the disguises ended up failing to impress as she grew older. During this time, she had fewer friends than she already did. At a hired nanny's insistence, Vira began to experiment with the thought of being more feminine, though not willingly. Though she never did cast aside her childish competitiveness and aggression until late into young adulthood, her teen years were certainly much easier than they could have been had she not been changed, and as a result she began to generate friends and people she could trust once again.

As the years of secondary school for Vira drew ever closer to a close, Vira's father, Dom, began to express interest in the investments he had with the Eridani Shipyard and the EE Navy itself. At first, he attempted to hint at Vira potentially pursuing a career prospect as a Commissioned Officer for the EE Navy. Eventually, prodding came to pushing and pushing came to shoving. Vira found herself in a difficult predicament she never even asked to be in, but by the time she realized that, it was far too late to turn back. She was shipped off to the Apex academy and attended several courses that would challenge every detail about her person. Initially, though, in frustration she resisted the many attempts for the drill instructors to break her down and build her back up as an envisioned model of the Navy. A fellow cadet pursuing the MOS of Special Operations noticed Vira's struggle to adjust to the "harsh" military setting. Though Vira was very cautious and distrustful of the Skrellian colleague, she eventually warmed up to them and began to learn quite a bit from the strange outsider. Slowly, but surely, Vira became more confident and decided herself that her place was in Special Operations, no small part due to the Skrellian colleague's influence on her. Though it was a challenge to pass many of the trials and tests amplified specifically to train and pump out hardened, fearless and courageous soldiers willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the good of the nation, and for all sentient life.

Two years passed, and Vira graduated from the Apex academy, and had become a completely new person than when she had first started out. Before, she was unsure, hateful, angry, and confused. Afterward, she was much more confident, inspired, content and focused. Several years would go on as she would actively serve aboard one of the many large Eridani Navy cruisers, and protect the assets of the Eridani nation itself. Though, most of her time was either spent training with her own squadron or supervising mock-up operations of trainee Heavy Response Team units, and while she very rarely participated in combat scenarios herself, she wasn't a stranger to adrenaline, sweat, and blood... but she didn't revel in these moments either.

After her second tour, she worked as a general security firm contractor, often called to deal with major security risks and attempt to either defuse or neutralize the cause of it. Often, these isolated incidents were associated with inter-corporate spats and arguments gone over the line of civility. Vira took spiritual solace in this job, however, as she never had to kill anyone for the three years she associated with the security firm, much less physically hurt anyone. However, she was most certainly not satisfied with the meager pay attached with the large potential risk involved.

Vira eventually heard of NanoTrasen's own organized Security Firm, and applied for a position of command. Given her expertise, credentials and endorsements from her prior employers and a good word put in from one of the older drill sergeants themselves, Vira was placed in a trial position as a Head of Security department Commander on a smaller refugee station. Though the station itself was not particularly important, Vira focused her efforts on attempting to rouse up the standing security force aboard the vessel and run a (mostly) tight, cohesive unit to the best of her ability, despite the station being notorious for shoving undesirable or misfit officers onboard the station. The Personnel department took note of De Santos' effort and general success at whipping the security force into shape.

She was eventually transferred over to the Aurora, and after a few days, she applied for candidacy for captaincy. Her application was accepted a week or so later, and she functioned as a fair and just commanding officer of a space station. Until Internal Affairs spotted some discrepancies with some filed reports, in which her contract underwent investigation. She was temporarily suspended, and she returned to the private security sector temporarily. Since March of 2457, she has made an attempt to repeal the suspension of her contract with NanoTrasen, though not for her license of captaincy.

What do you like about this character?: I enjoy playing composed characters. Vira was one of these, she was someone that would often inspire the rest of the crew to rise up against impending doom and work together to save everyone else's asses. From what I was told, anyway.

What do you dislike about this character?: She can be a real bother to deal with when something conflicts with her point of view or when someone or something is standing in her way. While she is a bit liberal-thinking, she's very confrontational when she feels as though she's being threatened.

Do you think this character is fit to be a Head of Staff?: Yes.

Why?: I've done a lot of projecting myself into this character before. Often, not for the best. I have, most indubitably, changed my own attitude and focus on issues I had in the past and I can definitely see Vira being more qualified for this position as I feel I am qualified for this privilege.

Please provide well articulated and argumented answers to the following questions.

How would you rate your own roleplaying?: "Oh, but this is such a dumb question and I could never be honest (or even generous?) with myself at the expense of inflating my own ego." I see this statement a little more frequently, lately. There is nothing wrong with being true to yourself, and saying whether you're a good roleplayer or not. The only person that matters when they see you as fake is you, yourself. Be the realest you can be, dude. At any rate, yes, I would consider myself a decent-to-good roleplayer. I have experience with what is bad RP and what is good RP, I've made dumb mistakes and I've made really beneficial decisions too. I plan to capitalize on my positives and stamp out any negatives.

Extra notes: Wham blam, thank you, ma'am! That was a long fucking ranty-ass post to read through, now wasn't it? Now, given this is my second reapplication after the first one was subsequently denied for reasons displayed in that thread. No, I'm not going to link it, I just wrote up this application in a half hour and I should really be in bed by the time I'm posting this. So. Long story short, I believe I am worthy of a chance at redemption. No, I don't give a shit about anyone forgiving me. That's not what this is about. Focusing on eliminating the negative only and saying all of the right things isn't going to change what people think of my roleplay.

And please keep in mind that I did not conjure up this application in hopes of tricking or deceiving anyone into thinking I'm a wonderful perfect person with wonderful idealist views, abuse my power and flaunt it openly and then come out utterly disappointing in the end. My intent, here and now, prior to and after this application is posted, is to show that anyone can improve if they strive hard enough for it. And I want to believe that's true for myself, as well.

Alright, I'm done. Feedback, shoot. I'm especially looking for the feedback from people that interacted with me during my stint as command staff. In addition to that, opinions/statements from the staff as well, given the reasoning for my initial whitelist stripping was due to consistent, rulebreaking that killed people's rounds, and that was also part of the reason as to why my first reapp did not get accepted, a doubt that I had actually learned a damned thing. So. Done. It's 2:30 AM and I need to sleep. Nini.

God fucking dammit I hate these kinds of rants. I wish there was an easier way to say things without having to come off as gushy and touchy-feely.

March 5, 2015

So, I feel obligated to write something. I remember Vira from when I started playing on Aurora. Fresh from Hypathia, made Tony Adams, a traumatized ex-military eager to prove himself. Decided to start as a cadet and work him up to captain. Two shifts in, proved usefull and capable, taking down and arresting his rogue superior officers. Vira pats him on the back and gives him a recommendation. Tony was now an officer. From that moment onward, she was an example to him. Vira had character flaws, but he was always loyal and stried to hold security to accaptable standards. When he became HoS, he failed because he lacked the quality which Vira had; She was a bitch.

When I made Elena, I somewhat modeled her after Vira, and when I started playing captain, I talked with Delta over byond. They told me about the problems captain faced, a few tips and words of encouragement. The result can be seen in the memes that have popped around the station, such as 'Elena is the best catpain'.

To sum it up, Delta has been an important influence on my own character development and somewhat of a pillar of the community. I can say that Delta has proven they are a capable as command staff, at least to me.

I also understand, that the reasons behind their removal of whitelist was powergaming. Even though I can't testify if the behavior displayed by them is past or not, I'm assuming that it is, since they would be posting this inside the unban requests. Therefore, I see no real reason not to support this app.

+1

TishinaStalker · March 6, 2015

(From Dea+Tish)

I'm going to start this off with the good and then work my way to what I see is wrong.

My personal interactions with you has been nothing but pleasant. You seem intelligent and rather friendly in disposition and you're rather good at Roleplaying, I've even had a handful of good experiences with you In-game as one of my plethora of characters. Your answers, simply put are pretty good they answer every aspect of the questions and do so expertly. And even the bio is rather well put together and would explain the sudden turn around in behavior of your character.

However.

I'm whole-heartedly, entirely 110.5992% against this.

Let me explain why.

First time around, from what I remember your white-list application was just this good, answered everything perfectly and in a manner quiet more eloquently done than most other applicants. You respond to criticism politely and intelligently, never resorting to idiotic arguing back and forth. Simply put, your application last time around was all great and dandy.

However, after being granted that white list. You proved an utter disappointment, at least to me. You failed in every, single possible way to live up to that oh-so promising white-list that us staff approved. In the span of a little less than a month you received a total of 5 warnings, every single which of one you responded politely and promised to change in-order to be a player capable of the white-list. And all five times you failed to provide even a token measure of improvement to convince staff that you were worth keeping on the white-list.

Quite honestly, you really seemed to do every single thing a whitelistee could do wrong short of straight-up grief. From incorrect skills to preform a job, straight-up ramboing a nuke operative with a lawgiver, An astounding amount of metagaming, power-gaming and sheer irresponsibility as a head of staff, a catastrophic inability to lead as a Captain (Which included carrying around the ENTIRE armory in a locker for some reason), a disturbing amount of paranoia (Reseting AI laws for absolutely no reason whatsoever) and a markedly belligerent attitude in-which you always seems to insist that you were correct, despite the evidence to the contrary.

You are more than capable of filling out an application and making it look quite good, but from what I've seen I highly doubt your ability to live up to the promise of the application and play a Head well. Not everyone is capable of filling a white-listed position properly, and I firmly believe that you are one of these people.

I'm just going to leave this here because you never got back to us on this; which is what got your reapplication denied in the first place last time.

Dea Tacita · March 6, 2015

In addition to Tish's repost of my old comment, I've talked to several members of staff. And they all generally agree that you've not really improved in the powergaming department.

March 6, 2015

Really. Have you anything, even a shadow of a doubt that suggests that I did not learn a single thing from these incidents?

Do you seriously think I just shrugged these events off like it was nothing and decided "yeah I can get away with repeating this in the future."

Quite honestly, you really seemed to do every single thing a whitelistee could do wrong short of straight-up grief. From incorrect skills to preform a job, straight-up ramboing a nuke operative with a lawgiver

I'm clearly still a ramboing piece of shit and a person that gives themselves professional security skills and works in engineering as a CE. And, it definitely wasn't cleared up that the latter was a mistake and that I forgot to correct it and I was still given a player note for it, despite changing and correcting the mistake I was not even aware of and reassuring the issue won't fucking happen again. That note was absolute bullshit and it should not have existed to begin with.

An astounding amount of metagaming, power-gaming and sheer irresponsibility as a head of staff,

Yes, yes, and yes, those three reasons are entirely why I even got banned. I clearly have learned nothing from it and I'm not sorry at all.

a catastrophic inability to lead as a Captain (Which included carrying around the ENTIRE armory in a locker for some reason)

See above. I still carry around entire armories with me because I'm a paranoid piece of shit, obviously. Not improved at all.

a disturbing amount of paranoia (Reseting AI laws for absolutely no reason whatsoever)

This falls under meta/powergaming, once again. But, obviously I've not learned a thing, absolutely not.

and a markedly belligerent attitude in-which you always seems to insist that you were correct, despite the evidence to the contrary.

Yes, I have never ever admitted to my mistakes and I never will. I will never reassure you people and please you, not as long as I'm under the damnable microscope, according to certain people.

Do you folks really think me so ignorant and stupid that I wouldn't focus on trying to better my gameplay and make it steadily more bearable for everyone? Do you really think I was going to stay being the shitter I was? Do you think that I don't realize there's always more to learn, and the only way to do it is to make more correctable mistakes? Do you still think that, "Delta is one of these borderline griefers on the server that abuses his knowledge to ruin rounds for people ON PORPOISE. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, GUYS."

I push the fucking line so that I know where I should be going and where I'm not supposed to be going. Mistakes will be made, but damn it all if I don't try to fucking learn anything from it.

Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking child. I'm sick of the fucking patronizing.

March 6, 2015

Oh, and tell me what "not improving in the powergaming department" is.

Because I don't see any alternative to powergaming besides not to do it to 'win' at anything.

There's your fucking improvement right there.

So, in addition to this point. What constitutes as 'improvement' at this point? Because, quite honestly, the best way you can improve with any of these issues of powergaming and paranoia is either to not do it or not fucking have it. And, in a day of an admin, I highly fucking doubt they're going to think to themselves, "Huh, we had a stunning lack of arrival bombs that crippled the station today. This is great. Life is great."

Playernotes only serve to point out flaws in a person's gameplay or attitude, basically they're just fucking ammunition, cannon fodder. I don't see any example in which the administration has ever praised people openly for their splendid RP and gameplay.

While I'd just love to blame the system and the mins for this, it's not about them. But I'd consider it a pretty shitty point of view to never consider the positives in taking the risk in accepting this application.

Dea Tacita · March 6, 2015

Really. Have you anything, even a shadow of a doubt that suggests that I did not learn a single thing from these incidents?

Where did I say that?

These were brought up because we wanted you to maturely address them and say "This happened because X", you did exactly the opposite.

Do you seriously think I just shrugged these events off like it was nothing?

And Do you seriously think we're going to even consider this if you go through your application as rudely as possible? I have no problem with you, Tish has no problem with you. The quote, while possibly harsher than it needed to be, was not deliberately made to mean offense to you, nor be rude in my eyes, and you respond to it in a sarcastic, accusatory and generally not-so-friendly manner which we've done nothing to deserve?

And I want to add this as an addendum that I felt I needed to make after discussing this with a couple people. I don't intend to "Automatically deny" this. I intend to give you a fair chance as everyone else receives, what happens to this is ultimately upto how you explain the situation. We're not here to ruin people's days by being hardasses, we're just trying to keep a standard. And yeah, you've done good things on the server, you have good, solid characters that people like and that create good RP.

Thundy · March 6, 2015

So, as a completely objective bystander, I am completely disinclined to plus this simply because of the rudeness I'm hearing in the tone of writing. Aggressive, unneeded, I would, if this were my server, decline this application purely on that point. If these comments were directed at me, I would probably either be completely frustrated or hurt, not things you want to make an admin feel when looking as to whether you are to be whitelist ed or not.

Delta, don't be a dick. Just chill, no one is attaching you, you don't need to attack then.

--1

Blue · March 6, 2015

As a non-biased person, who has had little interaction with Delta besides OOC and Dsay, I'm just going to say that I believe he deserves a chance to prove that he has improved.

Now, that sarcastic post might hinder that. Delta, I'd strongly recommend you let go of any frustrations you have for now and just go with the flow. I know, criticism can be unpleasant but just go with it. I'm sure they'll let you have that chance, but not with attitude.

March 6, 2015

Reserving post because bleh. Give me a moment.

Right, action made, reaction gauged, and now I'm pissed at myself for posting all of that shit.

So, you can tell I was rather peeved. The rudeness was shat I needed to get out and make clear what the problem is: that there is no clear indicator of how someone is improving and what I posted before in anger about communicating what improvement and circumstances is/are acceptable versus what is not. Buuuut the admins did not deserve that spat. So I'm going to calmly explain why I did the things I did and why they were wrong, and why I understand that.

Incorrect skills to perform a job.

This was a mistake that was corrected and was also communicated to have been corrected. I didn't realize the issue had persisted given that I had forgotten to save my character sheet. This was a loooong time ago and it was the first shift I had gotten my whitelist and I was sure I had fixed my character for it. I explained to Pump that I would fix it and evidently I got a note for it anyway.

Instances of meta/powergaming.

Probably the defining rulebreaking instance that cut my whitelist duration short, although they stacked up. Making a lawgiver and killing an op with it: not okay, but I didn't use it to intentionally rambo. I was escaping the singularity that got released that round and a nuke op yelled for my name and gave chase, though he didn't brandish any weapons. The lawgiver was some goofy trophy I had from maxing out research, and I didn't plan on actually shooting shit with it. I took out the lawgiver, pointed it at him, and told him to go away. He didn't move, so. While extremely and unnecessarily excessive, I shot until he was dropped and dead.

The carrying around an entire armory in a locker decision I don't have an excuse for, that was stupid. A bad judgement call.

I don't recall getting talked to for resetting AI laws 4noraisins, though I do recall having a habit of moving to reset it whenever it got a really freaky law such as the Lucy Sparks is the queen of lesbay law or whatever. It turned into a nasty, not fun habit. Ended up being a consistent issue.

Sheer irresponsibility as a head of staff.

Because I focused on 'winning' and not on '!FUN!', I ended up making more people suffer for it. I got self-absorbed in my own gameplay rather than for other people. Bleh.

And, I don't think I'd repeat any of these instances twice in any circumstance.

EvilBrage · March 6, 2015

From what I've gathered, I really don't think there's anything you can say to change the staff's collective hive-mind. You've proven that you can give everyone the answers that they want to hear while still failing to live up to the expectations of a whitelist through actions - why would more words change that? Moreover, I'd just read the post by Dea and Tish that states you responded politely and intelligently in the past, but anyone who's just popped in to read this thread (like myself) would assume that's taken a turn for the worse rather than for the better.

Not to tell you your business (as I wouldn't be surprised if my argumentativeness dwarfs yours by comparison,) but my recommendation is to allow your actions speak rather than words; don't tell them you've changed, show them you've changed.

Johnny Mnemonic · March 6, 2015

From what I've gathered, I really don't think there's anything you can say to change the staff's collective hive-mind. You've proven that you can give everyone the answers that they want to hear while still failing to live up to the expectations of a whitelist through actions - why would more words change that? Moreover, I'd just read the post by Dea and Tish that states you responded politely and intelligently in the past, but anyone who's just popped in to read this thread (like myself) would assume that's taken a turn for the worse rather than for the better.

Not to tell you your business (as I wouldn't be surprised if my argumentativeness dwarfs yours by comparison,) but my recommendation is to allow your actions speak rather than words; don't tell them you've changed, show them you've changed.

Wasn't the entire "angry" post by 1138 basically just him saying that he doesn't do the paranoid/powergamey shebang anymore?

Gollee · March 6, 2015

My interactions with 1138 have all been positive, I haven't seen any incidents of powergaming, recently or otherwise, so I can't comment on those.

My interactions with 1138

+1

Johnny Mnemonic · March 6, 2015

At first i wasn't very sure whether to support this app or not. I was conflicted between Delta's surprisingly heated comment, seemingly unbefitting a future head, and liking Delta in OOC, liking Talia and enjoying the idea of seeing him in a leadership role immensely.

After talking to people who were around back when this was the issue and things that aren't apparent from just reading the thread, i would like to give my own +1

Delta never struck me as a powergamer in the slightest, and even imagining Delta as being one is difficult for me. He shouldn't be deprived of a second chance

witchbells · March 6, 2015

Delta is someone I regularly roleplay with. I have not witnessed instances of powergaming as of late, nor do I believe Delta is incapable of improvement.

I fully endorse his re-whitelist app.

Dea Tacita · March 6, 2015

My overall feelings on this are as follows.

I think you should be allowed to try having a whitelist again, its been awhile since a major incident occurred with you. and I believe MOST people can change themselves, if they recognize they need to change. Which you've done in my mind.

But.

This will be the last thing I ever approve for you if you disappoint me on this. I'm going to wait until Tishina gets online, talk with them about this and Then it'll be approved/denied once the time comes for that. Good luck dear, and please, please. Live up to your application.

Hartburry · March 9, 2015

I for one support Delta. When I first joined this server I was banned within a week. I appealed it and I learned. If I hadn't been banned I wouldn't have learned but if I hadn't been given the second chance I wouldn't have been able to prove I had changed. I think that Delta's persistence should be acknowledged and I think that he knows that this will be his final chance to prove that he has what it takes to be a leader in this community. I Hartburry give this application one hundred and ten percent of my backing.

+1

March 9, 2015

Thanks, all of ya.

Whether or not this gets accepted, know that I will still support the community here, for how truly awesome it really is. If it does get accepted, you will see that I will not squander everything I've come so far for on nothing.

Dea Tacita · March 9, 2015

Application Approved

Glory to Aurora

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