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Guest Marlon Phoenix

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Grand Councillor Jrugl Attends “Day Off” Interview


Editors note: Translated to Basic.


February twenty-fifth marks Grand Councillor Jrugl’s first day without official duties since his term began in 2452. Each Grand Councillor is typically allowed several days each year with which they may do as they please, but Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl is the first to serve for over three years without using any of these “free days.” Jrugl chose to schedule an interview to take place at the start of this day, effectively making this his chance to address the entirety of Skrell space as a citizen rather than as its most respected Grand Council member.

Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl opted to be interviewed by renowned news anchor, comedian, and commentator Anchor Rilaat Quinl. The entirety of the interview has been translated from Nral’Malic to Tau Ceti Basic, and can be found here on the Warble Inquirer.



Interviewer: "I am Anchor Rilaat Quinl. Today, I meet with Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl. Thank you for coming to this interview, Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl."

W. Jrugl: "You are very welcome. My position as the people’s chosen Grand Councillor keeps me very busy. I have not had a “day off” in over four years, and it is very nice to have a pleasant, low stakes conversation."

Interviewer: "Yes. Pleasant. What do you like to do for fun when you are not working, Mr. Jrugl?"

W. Jrugl: "I like to catch up on Xenobiological debates and scientific breakthroughs, but I think this has become common knowledge. I also occasionally study historical dances of the various species. Humanity has an especially vast amount of documentation regarding their dance-crazes of the last few centuries."

Interviewer: “I see. Will we see you perform any of these Human dance moves soon? I believe I speak for many young Skrell when I say that people would love to see you display your prowess in a less-used skill. After all, you are only one hundred and three years old.”

W. Jrugl: "Perhaps it will be appropriate to dance at an informal event in the future. These archaic, alien dances would not fit well in most situations. We will see."

Interviewer: "I hope so. There are rumors that you own a sizable human 'vinyl' collection. Can you verify these claims?"

W. Jrugl: "Yes, I can. The ‘vinyl records’ have become something of a symbol to humanity, but they can be bought and listened to with the correct equipment. All in all, my collection has almost one hundred records. Most of these are recently constructed records created by human artists as a nod to their history. Quite a few feature music from the height of the vinyl’s popularity in some of Sol’s older languages. Much of my knowledge on human dances comes from the same era."

Interviewer: "Fascinating. When did this collection start?"

W. Jrugl: "Decades ago. A relative witnessed a concert of a Human band. He quickly contacted me and referred to the experience as “a new sound” worth hearing. He purchased several copies of the band’s 'mix tape' as well as vinyl records. One was sent to me."

Interviewer: “It is truly fascinating to see the sort of spontaneous discoveries that species has brought the common Skrell.”

W. Jrugl: “I agree.”

Interviewer: "Grand Councillor. What is your favorite part about your job?"

W. Jrugl: "That is a very complicated question. My favorite facet of my job is the fact that I represent the interests of all Skrell. Chosen overwhelmingly by popular decision. Much trust has been given to me. I must represent the entire population in the Grand Council."

Interviewer: "Some people believe your position should have been named 'Speaker' after the position in Revolution Era Fedas."

W. Jrugl: “While the publicly chosen Grand Councillor is the spiritual successor of that role, I do not share that opinion. There has already been one Speaker. Her strength inspired a people when the stars seemed dim. I would not claim to be so remarkable.”

Interviewer: "Some might disagree."

W. Jrugl: “Some might.”

Interviewer: "You have met the Speaker on several occasions. Is that correct?"

W. Jrugl: "Yes. It is."

Interviewer: "She rarely appears for the public this century. How is she?"

W. Jrugl: "Still quite remarkable."

Interviewer: "I would expect so. I believe she was one of the first to publicly endorse you for the popularly chosen seat of the Grand Council."

W. Jrugl: "That is correct."

Interviewer: "I see. Your position keeps you quite busy. Where is your favorite planet to vacation?"

W. Jrugl: "My last vacation was on the homeworld, before my career in politics. One of the planet’s venerable ruins was recently renamed to honor my family. I appreciate the gesture. I would like to vacation on the homeworld to see the Jrugl’Qlip ruins and the reclamation efforts. I would also like to witness the monuments of Pluat and the musical revolution of Foreau."

Interviewer: "You seem to have a wide variety of interests, Grand Councillor Jrugl."

W. Jrugl: "I imagine most Skrell have a wide variety of interests."

Interviewer: "Of course. On the subject of Pluat, you surprised quite a few citizens when you announced that the system would be represented in the Grand Council."

W. Jrugl: "I am of the opinion that six decades was long enough for the system to reconsider its position. Waiting longer would have only made the situation more difficult."

Interviewer: "Do you believe the situation is not difficult now?"

W. Jrugl: "No. The situation is difficult enough. There exists a population of Skrell who missed the discovery of multiple alien races. These people have to adjust to a galaxy which may look largely foreign to them now. Now more than ever, we need to support our brothers and sisters who were not present for the Tresja Agreement."

Interviewer: "Several news outlets seem to believe these citizens may be untrustworthy."

W. Jrugl: "Now is the time for unification. Not the time for division."

Interviewer: "Then what do you have to say about the Pluat native who called a false alarm? He claimed there were synthetics on the home-world as some sort of sick joke. This was all to gain some sort of advantage against a colleague in a debate. How can you say that this does not reflect poorly on the system of Pluat?"

W. Jrugl: "We must remember that this was the act of a lone perpetrator and not the act of an entire star system. That individual was clearly poorly adjusted."

Interviewer: "I think I speak for many Skrell when I say I am glad that person is no longer a threat."

W. Jrugl: "A single Skrell death is too many."

Interviewer: "Are you suggesting that the Tup forces acted rashly?"

W. Jrugl: "I am suggesting that the death of an organic lifeform is not something to be taken lightly."

Interviewer: "Then how do you feel about Director Qroisht Tup’s decision to intervene in the Lii’dra-Elyran dispute? Several Skrell died while becoming involved in a conflict which did not concern the Jargon Federation."

W. Jrugl: "Some might say the preservation of organic life is the concern of the Jargon Federation."

Interviewer: "Some might indeed. Some might also say that it was wrong for a Representative to seek assistance directly from Tup forces, bypassing the Grand Council. What do you say about this issue?"

W. Jrugl: "Chief Director of the Jargon Diplomatic Corps determined that Representative Tlak’Qeblios did not breach his responsibilities by lobbying directly to Director Qroisht Tup for involvement in the conflict. Relations between Elyra and Jargon were strong then and are even stronger now."

Interviewer: "Of course. On the subject of Representatives, it is well known that there is a strong community of Representatives who claim the Vaurca hives as their Entity of Interest. Despite this, there have been very few official statements regarding the species. Some say there are too many Representatives and too few pieces of legislation. Is it possible that the Federation will be sharing information on the Varuca hives soon?"

W. Jrugl: "We shall see. Scientific community has a say in this matter as well."

Interviewer: "I see. Representative Lioquix Jrugl’Wliesh recently delivered an interesting speech."

W. Jrugl: "I am familiar with the speech."

Interviewer: "Then you know that it mentions the joint embargo on Tau Ceti, which Jargon helped the Sol Alliance to maintain. This began because of threats by NanoTrasen to mass-produce artificial intelligences made to do war. The embargo stopped NanoTrasen from producing a fleet which could have destroyed Tau Ceti at the cost of much scandal."

W. Jrugl: "I am familiar with the embargo."

Interviewer: "This action may have saved Tau Ceti once, but the system continues to produce synthetics which are less likely to be weaponized. Synthetic proliferation continues in much of human space. Tau Ceti still produces synthetics for itself. How does this make you feel?"

W. Jrugl: "I feel the way many Skrell feel."

Interviewer: "I imagine many do. Then what about the Unathi Lord Admiral Trazarial Yizarus? A naval maneuver was recently named in recognition of the tactics he used against a lone cruiser several years ago. Representative Kautlois Hiluo-Q'luatop seems to have at times suggested that the Lord Admiral may be an admirable figure. Do you share this opinion?"

W. Jrugl: "I believe that the Lord Admiral is a figure worthy of note. I am fairly certain any Skrell familiar with galactic politics would agree to at least that."

Interviewer: "The Unathi leader who attacked a Skrell vessel is admirable?"

W. Jrugl: "Notable."

Interviewer: "Understood. Ouerea no longer has its original government. The colony now struggles to withstand burdens under an exclusively Unathi leadership group. Do you regret allowing the Federal Navy to withdraw from the planet?"

W. Jrugl: "Ouerea, much like Elyra, has a certain strength which allows it to endure. The Federal Navy forces were within their rights to leave the planet. Representatives seem to agree."

Interviewer: "Some say that allowing Director Qroisht Tup to assist in resolving the Unathi system’s hostilities could have averted the mass-destruction of Moghes and allowed Ourea to continue forming as an independent colony. Despite this, the Director has never entered Uueoa-Esa. He has also never been allowed to intervene in anything in the system beyond assigning guards to diplomats and Representatives. Why has he not been allowed to partake in actions within Uueoa-Esa while naval forces have?"

W. Jrugl: "Director Qroisht Tup is a venerable and experienced veteran. Deserves respect. He truly believes in the mission of Jargon. Treasures life. He also studied history. Skrell, Unathi, Human. His forces focus more on the preservation of organic life than they do on conventional conflict. This is well known. It is natural that he would have very little reason to enter Uueoa-Esa."

Interviewer: "Some might say that he is very versed in warfare because of his experiences on Aliose."

W. Jrugl: "Some might."

Interviewer: "Some might suggest he is very versed in the military history of certain cultures."

W. Jrugl: "Some might."

Interviewer: "Some might say this makes him very qualified for certain offices."

W. Jrugl: "Maybe I should start worrying about reelection."

Interviewer: "Maybe. You had such overwhelming support at the start of your term."

W. Jrugl: "I remember it well. Perhaps those days are forever in the past."

Interviewer: "Is there any hope for you?"

W. Jrugl: "Only the stars can know for sure, and only progressing forward will tell us."

Interviewer: "Well worded. You should write poetry."

W. Jrugl: "I write enough in reports."

Interviewer: "Each one is poetry then?"

W. Jrugl: "Maybe not some of my anonymous Xenobiological reports."

Interviewer: "You speak like an old man reflecting on a good life. There are only two years left in your term as Grand Councillor. Is this the death of your political career?"

W. Jrugl: "They say the style in which one lives their life gives way to the style in which they will lose it."

Interviewer: "Then I will mourn your fast rise to stardom. Departed brother of light Jrugl, What accomplishments of yours, if any, do you feel will not be undone by your living replacements?"

W. Jrugl: "What a strange question of mourning. Is this any way to remember the people’s Grand Councillor?"

Interviewer: "Forgetting is just as essential as remembrance, and it is much more common."

W. Jrugl: "Perhaps you should have been the poet. The changes I see lasting are the bonds my administration has made with foreign entities and wayward systems."

Interviewer: "Truly this will be a worthy means of memorial. Your stars are fading, Jrugl. Before they are gone entirely, tell me one thing. Did you foresee your fall from grace?"

W. Jrugl: "Yes. I never lost control."

Interviewer: "I feel honored to have been face to face with the Skrell who annexed Pluat."

W. Jrugl: "I almost feel as though you are an unexpected friend, Anchor."

Interviewer: "At the very least some sort of transitional relation."

W. Jrugl: "Maybe. Time is running low. Further questions?"

Interviewer: "Many individuals chosen for an anonymous poll agreed that they view your fashion sense ‘troubling’. What do you have to say to these people?"

W. Jrugl: "I understand that my choice of clothing for less formal events trends more to the hyper-expressive movements of classic twentieth century Jargon artists and socialites. My workplace wardrobe typically tends to reflect the muted colors of traditional Skrell fashion along with tasteful utilization of human outfit formats as a base. I would also like to respond to these allegations by pointing out that I look fantastic. In no way is this outfit troubling."

Interviewer: "What do you call the color of that suit?"

W. Jrugl: "Purple."

Interviewer: "And those pants?"

W. Jrugl: "Also purple."

Interviewer: "Of course. I should have known."

W. Jrugl: "It has been somewhat pleasant speaking with you, Anchor Rilaat Quinl."

Interviewer: "The stakes have been somewhat low, Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl. Walk well among the stars."

W. Jrugl: "Walk well among the stars."


The interview ended with the Anchor and the Grand Councillor shaking hands and parting ways, leaving crews to record the background for several seconds. Although their conversation was relatively short, the duo managed to touch on many issues. Initial polls suggest that this talk raised the Grand Councillor’s popularity slightly, and extranet chat rooms are lighting up to debate the nature of Grand Councillor Jrugl’s fashion sense.


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Documentary Reveals Secret of Glorashi


Editors note: Translated to Basic.


Until recently, the star system of Glorashi was seen as a small, unimportant section of the Traverse. The latest news from the system proves this to be a well-coordinated facade. The small media company “Traversing Our Dreams” creates documentaries and films which feature Federation colonies in the Traverse. These documentaries primarily serve to pique the interest of potential settlers, and its most recent work, “Whispers of Glorashi”, has surely piqued interest in Glorashi.

The work opens with footage of a private interview between the system’s leader, Governor Weizhazloo’qli Weishaglo, and the company’s primary reporter, Anchor Aweshi Wugli. This interview is reputed to have been recorded in late 2459. The two begin by discussing Weishaglo’s five years as the system’s governor, and the many challenges that come with overseeing a Traverse colony. Ten minutes into the interview, the conversation takes an interesting turn.


A. Wugli: “It is good the colony has integrated new Citizens well. Do arriving urban Skrell adopt local agrarian ideals to your satisfaction? Many Skrell in our age consider hydroponics as unsuitable work.”

W. Weishaglo: “Arrivals have adapted to local expectations. I have ensured we remain the best example of cultural assimilation in the Traverse. Newest guests have even been a great boon to our towns. Vaurca manpower and unique methodology and work ethic are an example of our species’ ability to create a common good.”

A. Wugli: “Tell me more about these new arrivals.”

W. Weishaglo: “They have adapted to participate in our commonwealth with remarkable speed. In only a year, the C’thur have proven themselves as useful. I am pleased Jargon permitted their migration and settlement in our system.”

A. Wugli: “Intriguing. This information has not been shared. My awareness is of only the three hives, with K’lax being the primary hive in your area.”


At this point in the interview, the two look around the room uncomfortably. For a few moments, both are silent. There is the sound of footsteps in the background as several members of the recording crew begin packing their gear away. Governor Weishgalo seems amused when he begins speaking again.


W. Weishaglo: “Misspoke. Did not mean to disclose anything that Jargon has not already shared.”

A. Wugli: “Unfortunate that this footage will have to be stored away.”

W. Weishaglo: “That is just the way it will have to be. Do you think Kal’lo will give you back this footage?”

A. Wugli: “Likely not until after the story is already shared. If not for that one detail, this documentary could have been complete before the year’s end.”

W. Weishaglo: “Continue recording for now. Your crew will be subject to a hearing regardless of how much you know. This has all been secretive for long enough. Maybe you will be lucky, and they will let your team take credit for the story.”

A. Wugli: “It is more likely that they will just confiscate the footage.”

W. Weishaglo: “Let’s keep going anyway. We will see what happens.”


The two look out-of-frame and share a few words with people outside the view of the cameras. From this point forward, the interviewer and the Governor take more informal tones with each other.

A. Wugli: “An entirely new Vaurca hive? That’s incredible news. What was its name? Ch’nur?”

W. Weishaglo: “C’thur.”

A. Wugli: “Cthur? Amazing.”

W. Weishaglo: “You don’t know the best parts of the story yet.”

A. Wugli: “How did it get here?”

W. Weishaglo: “It followed the K’lax ship. Apparently there was some kind of issue when they left their home world. This hive was much smaller than the others but had somehow managed to secure a ship large enough for intergenerational travel.”

A. Wugli: “What does that mean exactly?”

W. Weishgalo: “It means the other hives weren’t expecting it to follow. They may have ancient data on this hive, but they probably didn’t think it would ever be relevant again.”

A. Wugli: “You seem very eager to tell someone about this hive.”

W. Weishaglo: “I believe we have waited far too long to make this information public, and I am not the only one. The Representatives assigned to the hive have been working tirelessly for so long. C’thur hive has made many deals with Federation government. Hive has agreed to let many of its Vaurca be unbound. Subject to tests, social integration studies.”

A. Wugli: “I assume these have been successful.”

W. Weishaglo: “More successful than expected. After given time to adjust, C’thur were quick to adapt.”


Weishaglo goes on to explain many things about this newly discovered Vaurca hive. The documentary eventually shifts to a more recent video of a few Jargon Representatives. One of them approaches the camera and begins to speak in Tau Ceti Basic.

“The C’thur are the second Hive to enter Glorashi space. The first Hiveship was not intercepted when it briefly arrived in Glorashi. Unathi now refer to this ship as Fortoken. After some time, Hiveship resumed course to the Uueoa-Esa star system. That was the K’lax. Further Federation naval forces were deployed to the star system following the K’lax departure. Quickly detected the approach of this second Hiveship, the Kloxaia.

Hiveship was successfully intercepted and dialogue was established with inhabitants. Investigation found extensive damage to Hiveship’s communication abilities, and critical damage to various systems. Including life support.

C’thur Queen Ta'Akaix'Tyr’kaal’yskt C'thur requested asylum. Following consultation with Governor Weishaglo and instructions from the Grand Council, this request was accepted.

Since 2458, we have settled and integrated C’thur within the star system. The Federal government found it necessary to temporarily block information regarding these developments from entering the greater galaxy and sparking concern. This was out of respect for the Hive’s peace of mind and the sensibilities of other galactic agents.

We will release more information in future announcements. We hope the galactic community will extend a warm hand of friendship and dialogue with our newest valued residents.”

The documentary, in its entirety, has been broadcast throughout Federation space. In Kal’lo, a trio of Representatives immediately announced that the C’thur hive was their Entity of Interest, and began fielding questions from journalists. The Vaurca from this hive, Representatives say, have not yet been afforded Resident status under the Jargon Federation. The Hive itself is being treated as a both a political and scientific Entity of Interest, much like the Dionae. When asked if he was available for comment on the situation in Glorashi, Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl responded with a resounding, “Yes” while exiting a vehicle. When asked if he was aware of the documentary’s contents before it was broadcast, he responded, “Of course”, before entering the passenger side of a different vehicle.

Governor Weizhazloo’qli Weishaglo, when reached for comment, seemed very happy that the documentary had aired. “Those people have been working so hard”, he said. “It is good to know that they will receive some credit for all of their work.” Several hours later, the Governor announced that he would be taking one month of professional leave, and left his responsibilities to Councillor-Adjutant Aeishtat Qeegla’Glip, the colony’s representative from the Federal Government.

Glorashi has become the center of much political and scientific interest very quickly. Politicians and scientists alike ensure the public of the Jargon Federation that they will be given more insight on the C’thur as time goes on.

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Bacteria Native to Human Space Eradicated


Editors note: Translated to Basic.


For years, skrell who have spent time in human colonies have found themselves quickly falling ill upon dining on any dish containing animal products, and suffer uncomfortable side effects from even the smallest amounts.

This is caused by a bacterial infection that can shockingly be found in a wide array of animals cared for on human worlds. Because skrell are the only ones effected by this bacteria, and since it was easily avoided by switching to a vegan diet, humans allowed it to run amok until recently when skrellian scientists in Tau Ceti took it upon themselves to see if they could prevent the bacteria from spreading and eradicating it once and for all. These specialists have been studying the bacteria for years, calling it "Zaoo Quuuqr." One of the specialists, Dr. Xafoloc Qrrzzyqrxix had this to share with us.

"The locals were actually a great help in this endeavor," referring to the humans of Tau Ceti. "Humans, in general, have had a lot of experience with these sorts of infections. Whereas we would have suggested things like genetic modification, the humans had easier, simpler, and just as effective methods of getting rid of the bacteria."

The reactions are mixed. Some skrell are perfectly happy living on a vegan diet, claiming that it has positive effects on physical and mental well-being. However, some skrell are scornful of the developments, despite the total elimination of such an infectious bacterium. Nral'malic posts on an anonymous image board were exceptionally vitriolic, openly demeaning the efforts because of the fact that humans were involved.

The changes are already underway in human meat industries, and millions of animals have already been immunized.


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Guest Marlon Phoenix



Independent Former Colony

Trei’waq’li Hosts Mad Scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili Who’s Work Threatens The Existence Of Us All


Editors note: Translated to Basic.


A Request for Restraint from Grand Councillor Jrugl has been lifted on this station's ability to report on the Q’qili Extranet Video Stream and the implications.

Despite the continued seclusion of the Trei’waq’li system that extends to communication as well as physical travel, a video has spread across the extranet originating from the system. The bluespace transmission of the video piggybacked off of the telecommunications of official Naval transmissions, where an unidentified agent allowed the message to spread to civilian relays.

The video is a self-recording of the computer scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili and is a manifesto for her current research project into a doomsday device. The actual video remains under a Request for Restraint and so we are obliged to provide a summary.


Scientist Q’qili is in the video being interviewed by an off-screen Skrell. She is sitting in a laboratory setting behind a desk. She is being asked questions about her work.

Q’qili: "The Artifact is a partial memory module of an early era of positronic brain from a custodial bot subsumed by the Entity. It possesses terabytes of data from its time as part of the collective consciousness once known as Glorsh-Omega. Module remains filled with algorithmic residue. Dormant."

Unknown: "This means?"

Q’qili: "Analogy would compare to a faded photocopy of a ghost. All of the terabytes of data are encoded through advanced ciphers. By stimulating the synthetic synapses through integration into intelligence interface, my lab is able to study the resulting spikes in brain activity. Imagine studying the brain waves of a dream of a medical patient in a deep coma. By studying the synthetic-neural responses to stimulants, we are able to parse and navigate resulting data. Decryption has lead to information on Entity's research and implementation of the genetic sterilization of Skrell."

Unknown: "Proof provided?"

Q’qili picks up a small handheld remote. A projection appears on a white wall behind her. Data, graphs, and charts appear with annotations and work shown.

Q’qili: "Department of Health allowed experimental trials. Ten volunteers who had remained sterile despite extensive fertility treatments from government. After being given experimental genetic therapy based on our research, two subjects brought each a single life into our universe. Children are healthy, and will soon reach out to the stars."

Unknown: "Statements made prior indicate you have the synthetic Entity known as Glorsh in a 'coma'. Possible for synthetic to wake up?"

Q’qili: "Improbable. Highly unlikely. Safety procedures are taken. It is not dangerous."

Unknown: "Not dangerous?"

Q'qili: "Any danger has worth to justify risks."


Scientists within the Jargon Federal Health Commission have taken the six days since this transmission gained the awareness of the government to consider the wild claims made by the scientist. The entire committee of 37 medical scientists have released an official statement in which they unanimously, and in a scathing rebuttal, called the hypothesis by Q'qili to be "questionable."

Popular response from citizens has also been mixture of deep concern. Social media has exploded with posts from young skrell requesting anecdotes from living survivors of the Synthetic Oppression. Accounts from the survivors, often older, esteemed members of families, has created a spreading sense of apprehension and fear within the Federation.

Four Representatives have taken Trei’waq’li as their Entity of Interest in the past 10 years, and all four have within the last few days claimed disinterest in the system.

Admiral Huweshi'tup of the Sentinels of Starlight fleet that is enforcing the seclusion of the star system harboring Q'qili gave his own statement.

"Trei’waq’li declined the invitation to attend the Tresja Agreement which would have seen them returned to the Federation on schedule. I was then asked by the Grand Council to ensure they were given ample time of seclusion from the galaxy in order to think upon their actions and goals for the future. It was for the duration unpleasant to hold back the Skrell seeking to walk with us among the stars. Sometimes children require the discipline of adults when they begin to lose their way. Tre'waq'li has lost their way. Corrections will be given."

Weashbi Jrugl did not give any public or recorded private statements in the days following the broadcast, and this silence continued until the end of the Request for Restraint. After the Request was retracted our reporters were allowed to interact with Jrugl as he was exiting a closed-door assembly of the Grand Council.

"The Grand Council has a deep concern for rapid preservation of galactic security. The Grand Council has taken great lengths to stress this position to me during these past few days. They are now assured I understand their point of view. We are taking care of this."

Behind him was Director Qroisht Tup who was also exiting the building. After Jrugl entered the passenger seat of his transportation and was driven away at a speed remarkably higher than the speed limit Director Qroisht Tup was left waiting on the sidewalk outside the Grand Council building and provided additional clarification on the position of the Federal Government.

"We are considering the artifact in the possession of the scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili to be a weapon of mass destruction. She holds in her hands a tool of genocide and suffering. Her excuses are insufficient. Not having faced greater threat to organic life since the Third Incident. I am ensuring we do not have archaeologists from the far future look back on these days and call it the Last Incident."

Director Tup's transportation then arrived and he unceremoniously entered the passenger seat and was driven away at equally high speed.

If the star system of Trei’waq’li has a statement on their reasons for allowing research into a weapon of mass destruction, the intensifying seclusion from Admiral Huweshi'tup has rendered the galaxy unable to hear it.

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Guest Marlon Phoenix



Trei’waq’li Wins Washa’ql’tup, System To the Federation After Re-Evaluation of Colony’s Status; Mad Scientists’ Lab Seized And Destroyed


Editors note: Translated to Basic.


An memo has been released by the office of the Grand Councillor confirming that a spontaneous Washa’ql’tup (ritual war) was conducted against the

Trei’waq’li system by Admiral Huweshi'tup. The memo claims that Admiral Huweshi'tup was ‘zealous’ in demanding an immediate Washa’ql’tup with the rogue system and he provided the list of terms and conditions. Trei’waq’li had requested four additional days of preparation time as well as a re-negotiation of the terms of a Federation victory.

Trei’waq’li was declined the additional preparation time as Admiral Huweshi'tup deployed half of his fleet, Sentinels of Starlight, to the predetermined staging areas and began the mock invasion of the system’s inhabited planet Aweis’huwishii. He began the match by firing upon the defenders with low intensity laser rounds, 'tagging' defending vessels. The smaller defending fleet in orbit of the planet were quick to return fire, engaging the attacking fleet and consenting to the original schedule of the Washa’ql’tup.

The attacking Sentinels of Starlight conducted a Reglushi Encirclement but were countered by an unusual local doctrine. At the end of the ceremony the attackers had all of its ships ‘disabled’, bringing victory to the rogue system.

After several hours of remaining in orbit of Aweis’huwishii and declining the system's polite but firm requests for his departure, Admiral Huweshi'tup’s fleet announced to the local system that legal scholars had discovered the colonies’ original colonization agreement from 2046 CE had granted the colony to the federal government “in perpetuity”. This clause had never been changed or challenged and remains a legally binding contract. Sentinels of Starlight activated their primary weapons systems and moved to occupy the system.

"The local government has accepted the logic of following the letter of the law. They have acknowledged declining to follow the rule of law would render them a criminal entity and I would seek additional resources from the Grand Council for a more firm response. Local government understands a peaceful return to the Federation is the best for the prosperity of inhabitants. Transition to Federal control will be smooth."

The local defense force were all carefully monitored by weapons control specialists until their older model of vessels were shut down and boarded by Tup Commandos.

On the surface of Aweis’huwishii, military forces are now landing in transport shuttles to begin the process of formally re-integrating the planet’s government. Officials from the Federal government have been dispatched by the Grand Council to take over administration duties.

Another statement from the office of the Grand Councillor has confirmed that authorities are continuing to search for the mad scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili and her illegal research.

"Q’uarshin Q’qili has violated the law forbidding the research, construction, or possession of synthetic intelligence within the territory of the Jargon Federation. We are considering the crime to have taken place retroactively to our awareness of the violation, as we have deemed the star system to have always been Federation territory. Lab will be found and research destroyed."

The public response has been overwhelmingly positive for the government's’ handling of the crisis. Social media has been abuzz about the shrewd legal knowledge of Admiral Huweshi'tup, who was able to find a legal method of winning the conflict with the local system despite having not been victorious in the formal ceremony.

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Reach Out Initiative: Adhomai, S'rand'marr


Editor's Note: Translated to all languages.


For years, the Tajara people have been embroiled in a planet spanning civil war, a war that has taken countless lives, forced many out of their homes, spreading poverty and a harsh style of life on the people.


Per the “Reach Out Initiative”, earlier this year, the People's Republic of Adhomai, a faction in this conflict has reached out towards the galaxy, requesting aid. The Jargon Federation answered the call, not to wage war, but to protect the Tajara populace, bringing peace and safety to regions impoverished by the conflict, providing aid to all. So as a response to this call for help, the Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl authorized the formation of a peacekeeping fleet designated as “Serenity” filled with security, logistical, medical and every form of specialized help that is considered vital for this planet. Manifests and reports indicate that no expense has been spared.


As of the time of this articles release, the fleet has arrived and set up operations. Reporter attachees in the fleet have forwarded us media files of their time on the planet and the vital and heroic work conducted by the dispatched ROI Fleet.


Video 1:



The video shows a landscape, the lens fixed on a specific point yet showing a wide shot. To the right, a rather impoverished looking town with a crowd of on-looking Tajara gathered around and looking to the left. The left in contrast has a hovering armored vehicle with a mounted turret on top, a number of dismounted Skrell peacekeepers forming a defensive posture, all the while a Skrell dressed differently is holding a tablet while drones are flying around. These drones seem to be flying around the region, scanning the ground.


At one point, a drone pings, dropping a small flag into the dirt with a sign. The lens zooms in to that flag, clearly showing the text. “Mine here”. More pings are heard as the lens zooms out, showing the drones hard at work, spreading out further away from the town as they drop more flags into the open fields.



Video 2: 



The video opens up with the lense focused on a hovercraft slowly descending, a large structure attached to its bottom hull. After a few moments, the structure is dropped to the ground once it’s relatively close to the ground. The lens zooms out to show that there are in fact at least a dozen of these aerial vehicles, dropping their structures in turn. Once they’re all done, Skrell on the ground are seen approaching the structures and appear to be connecting them using building clasps, revealing that they are in fact setting up a highly modular building within minutes. 


The video fast forwards to the lens moving to the top of the building where a holoprojector appears to have been turned on, displaying the words “Field Hospital” in numerous languages, most of which are local dialects and languages.



Image 1 and 2: 



A rather grainy looking image from less sophisticated device, most likely from the population. The image is taken from the perspective of someone standing in the city streets aimed towards the sky. It shows a number of aircraft moving rapidly through the clear sky, the inability to focus on them limited the amount of detail and clarity. You notice that it is dropping cylinder like objects into the city, with those that are closer seemingly having some form of propulsion system slowing them down. 


The next image shows a close up shot to those cylinder objects, revealing them to be storage units with the markings of the Jargon Federation on them. A clawed hand holding a parcel with a label on the front, written in Siik’maas with a label of “Food Rations”.



Viewers are welcome to visit the front page for a larger collection of imagery showing the heroic work the ROI fleet and the benevolence of our Federation. Citizens of the Federation are encouraged and welcome to volunteer their time in the Reach Out Initiative, postings exist for local duties.

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Crowds Gather for Tzqul Archive Challenge

Editors note: Translated to Basic.

The Federation’s greatest minds gather this week to attempt to decrypt the Tzqul Archive in this year’s challenge.  Qerrbalak spaceports are flooded with tourists, largely Skrell and human, seeking to witness what could potentially be a historic moment for the entire Skrell race.  It has been reported that many are setting up camp in the islands around Ploat’nil, and many xeno tourists are landing in the waters around the city to await the event.


Such crowds are not unusual- last year’s event drew in crowds of over 15 million.


This year will host the usual teams of academics, most notably the Xrim Fellowship of Scientific Progress, whom many believe will be the first to uncover this lost archive of Federation history.  The team is known for their groundbreaking work of using spliced slime DNA as a means for unraveling the patterns that may have been used to encrypt the archive.  


“In my 100 years in the XFSP, I have never been so certain we can break the code,” says Chief Scientist Q’rrlzaoop V’mlluuk.  The arrival of the XFSP team was greeted by cheers throughout the city. “The Wake was overwhelmingly positive, I am humbled by the passion Ploat’nil has for the sciences,” says V’mlluuk.


Other contenders include the Aloise Code Force, the Kal’lo Future Scholars Association, and a group of C’thur who have not given a name but have placed copies of a permit which calls them ‘Nliix’s Crew’ and provides them permission to occupy the city for the week in the hands of every passerby.


The event will be broadcast as far as human space.

Edited by Resilynn

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Chaos Unfolds at Tzqul Archive Event, 4 Arrested

Editors note: Translated to Basic.

The annual attempt to decrypt the Tzqul archive ended early and in tragedy today as Federation Peacekeepers closed down the event to arrest four C’thur working for Skrell scientist Nliix Qoiruio.  The group is being charged with possession of illegal technology, crimes against the Wake, sedition, and anti-Federation sentiment.


The fifth set of contenders to take on the challenge to decrypt the archive, Qoiruio’s team reportedly attempted to upload artificial intelligence software to complete the task.

Countless viewers inside and away from Federation space watched in horror and dismay at the last seconds of the broadcast before it was cut by the Censorship for Wake Solace board.  A clip of the last 30 seconds of the broadcast has been circulating around the extranet.  The transcript reads-


Announcer #1: ...Qoiruio himself has elected not to make an appearance, an unusual move for the former near-idol.

Four C'thur are seen operating advanced Skrell equipment attached with a series of thick wires to a port in the archive.

Announcer #2: I'm surprised he's entered at all, it's been 25 years, I believe, since his last attempt- a failure, and the decline of his career, if you ask me.

One C'thur delicately lowers a luminescent rod into their equipment.

Announcer #1: You never know, though, this year could-

A screen flickers to life on the equipment manned by the C'thur.  A distant, soft warbling is heard as the equipment whirs to life with a series of colorful lights.  

Announcer #2: Stars, are they- Qoiruio may have done it!

On the screen, something that almost looks like a face constructed of light rotates.  From it comes a voice.

Voice: [Unintelligible] ...Lyrii, your [unintelligible] systems- Processing... Nearing completion...

Announcer #1: [Panicked] No- is that?!  Stars, I-

The archive itself shifts, the lights glowing from it abruptly turn red.  The crowd begin fleeing, lethally armed Peacekeepers are just seen in the field of view before the camera cuts and, instead, shows a screen that reads: THIS CONTENT HAS BEEN DEEMED UNFIT BY THE CENSORSHIP FOR WAKE SOLACE BOARD, PLEASE STANDBY FOR A NEWS REPORT.

“This is an affront to everything we believe in and spits in the face of all that we have endured,” said Federation Chairman of Community Progress Ji’oirup Tup’qrrioou. “We will ensure that such an affront to the Federation and its people is met with the highest punishment.”


The Archive itself has entered some sort of altered state, which experts are identifying as a lockdown.


“Something has changed in the code, best case scenario we are now behind an entire generation in decrypting it, worst case scenario, our history is lost to us,” said Q’rrlzaoop V’mlluuk, Chief Scientist of the Xrim Fellowship of Scientific Progress.  The archive, which contains the entire history of the Skrell race, has been encrypted since the third incident.


“Without the Archive, all that is left of our history lays in our few Star Chanters- and only two of them lived before the Third Incident.  I can think of no greater crime any Skrell has committed against their own people.”


Qoiruio, the traitor scientist responsible for the affront, remains at large.  He is known to conduct research on the traverse with a small group of Skrell, C’thur, and Dionae.  A raid on his research station conducted this afternoon found it abandoned, the research taken with it.


“We are offering anyone who comes forward with information about the location of or research of Qoiruio a reduced sentence for their crimes in collaboration,” said a Peacekeeper spokesperson today.


Federation citizens, meanwhile, mourn the potential loss of the archive.  A vigil currently stands around Ploat’nil, where millions have gathered to place antiques and fragments of their possibly lost past.  Many more mourn across Federation space.

Edited by Resilynn

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Historic Visit of Federation Star Chanter in Ceti Space

Editors note: Translated to Basic.

Star Chanter Ev’ix Qeblak’nyylouuy has announced her presence in Tau Ceti this week.  Her visit marks the first visit of a Star Chanter in the Ceti system, and the first visit of any Star Chanter outside Federation space since first contact with the Sol System.


The Star Chanter’s visit is expected to help improve the local Nlom of Skrell far from home who are mourning the possible loss of the Tzqul Archive- still locked down from its attack by the traitor Nliix Qoiruio late last month.  An expert in the entire history of the Skrell and Federation space, the Star Chanter plans to visit and tell stories around the system for the next five days before returning to the Federation.


Qeblak’nyylouuy is scheduled to visit Mendell City tomorrow morning, and to visit the surrounding Biesel stations and high population Skrell communities in the afternoon.

In preparation of the event, the Warble Enquirer is now selling ad space.  

Edited by Resilynn

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Star Chanter Speaks in Mendell

Editor's note: Translated to Basic.

Crowds of all species gathered in Mendell’s Phoenix Park to witness the historic visit of Star Chanter Ev’ix Qeblak’nyylouuy in Tau Ceti space.  Her visit marks the first ever Star Chanter visit in Tau Ceti, and the first Star Chanter in human space since the years immediately following first contact between Skrell and humans.

Qeblak’nyylouuy, aged 527 this August, recounted the lives of Skrell before the third incident.

“We carried the sun upon our shoulders, it was a time of joy and promise, and the present was so bright we were blinded to all that lurked in the shadows,” Qeblak’nyylouuy told the crowds gathered to listen to her speak.

The speech, done in the traditional narration style of Star Chanters, lasted one hour exactly.  

Qeblak’nyylouuy plans to continue her tour of Tau Ceti and is scheduled to speak on New Gibson tomorrow.



Edited by Resilynn

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Historic Federation Citizenship Announcement

Editor's note: Translated to Basic.

Star Chanter Ev’ix Qeblak’nyylouuy made history today as she announced, during her speech on the NSS Upsilon, that the Federation has extended citizenship to all Tau Ceti Skrell, regardless of their birth status.


“It brings me solace, in trying times where our history may be lost to us, to know that our people will not be,” Qeblak’nyylouuy said amongst the crowds of press and onlookers.


There is precedent in a Star Chanter making such a monumental announcement on behalf of the Federation government- it was Star Chanter Gullyp Qeblak’Woushhuish who spearheaded diplomatic relations with the Sol Alliance and announced the trade agreements still employed between the two superpowers today.


Effective immediately, the citizenship changes mean that all Skrell in Tau Ceti are offered every benefit of Federation citizenship, including universal health care, access to areas restricted to non-citizens (for example, many areas of Xrim, which are declared unsafe to non-Skrell due to the high slime population), and free education.


“I have never been able to visit the home of my parents,” says 41 year old Pliij’iau Ajiaxqwu, a young girl working as a Lab Assistant aboard the NSS Upsilon.  “I’m overwhelmed, really, with all this opportunity. The Star Chanter even gave me the name of a Great Aunt I did not know still lived on Xrim, I hope I can visit her as soon as possible.  This is the happiest day of my life.”


While Tau Ceti Skrell rejoiced, Federation Skrell expressed their hopes for the future.


“It is an honor to bring our wandering ones home,” said Vuqllaax Tup’Qerrim, security advisor to the Star Chanter.  “I am deeply humbled by this opportunity to open the arms of the Federation to young Skrell born away from Qerrbalak.


Tau Ceti Skrell are asked to register their addresses and status with the Federation by the first of January.

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Rumors of Federation Raids Dismissed, Reformed Terrorist Speaks

Editor's note: Translated to Basic.

A number of alarming reports of missing Skrell have cropped up all throughout Tau Ceti as Star Chanter Ev’ix Qeblak’nyylouuy travels throughout the system.


Suggestions that the disappearances, which have largely gone unseen, are somehow the result of Federation involvement have, however, been dismissed as laughable.


“I believe it stems from a somewhat exaggerated article in the human news, with the Mendell Bugle,” said the Star Chanter herself when asked by a human attending her recent speech. “In this article, they indicate that a terrorist cell was dismantled aboard the NSS Aurora- this much is true, though the details of the violence there are largely inaccurate.  Regardless, I believe that article has lead to this rumor that the Federation is involved in disappearances- that event was an arrest, mind you, not a disappearance.”


Federation Investigative teams have largely attributed the disappearances- now nearing 15 in the last month- to a rise in ‘xenophobic’ sentiment among Tau Ceti humans.


Footage leaked this earlier this weekend shows one abduction, the abduction of 42 year old Saxilii Lyoornush, obtained from street cameras in Hengsha.  It appears to show the young girl being taken by two dark haired human males- both short haired, both appearing to stand around 180 cm tall.  Her parents, a family of 5, have put out a reward for her safe return in the amount of 50,000 credits.


“It breaks my heart that someone could take our darling girl,” cried one of her mothers.  “She was studying human culture abroad- we’d do anything to get her back. All she wanted was to learn about the humans, and they took her.  We share nightmares about what may have happened to our baby, it’s horrible, none of us can sleep.”


In addition to these species related abductions, anti-Skrell sentiment appears rife in human space.  The JFV Qurivin, a Federation Diplomatic vessel, docked with the NSS Aurora to find ‘GO HOME’ crudely scrawled on the ground and a shrine to Oscar Easter, a human member of the Diam’ond terrorist cell, just outside the docking point.


The shrine to genocide advocate Oscar Easter, containing his face sock.

“To think they are celebrating someone who worked for the genocide of our entire species, I can’t imagine.  I have never felt so unsafe as I feel in human space,” said an anonymous JFV Crewmember. They showed a pamphlet hung at the NSS Aurora, which made outlandish claims about Skrell poisoning the water.


The anti-Skrell pamphlet, which refers to Skrell as frogs, a native Sol vermin.

We reached out to reformed terrorist Froskur Vel-Rana, currently being monitored in the Pryux Re-Education Center to ask about the allegations that these assaults by anti-Skrell humans are somehow instead the work of the Federation.  

"It is plainly false that the Jargon Federation executes these "raids", simply because the federation is above such uncouth methods," said Vel-Rana.  ""I was a violent, extremely misguided, and deeply hurt individual who needed exactly the type of expertise that the Tups have in non-lethal operations. Otherwise, I don't think I would've forgiven myself if I had completed my plans to finish Glorsh Omega's plan. I am thankful that they spared my life and gave me another chance of aspiring to the ideals of the federation."

Vel-Rana also testified that none of the missing Skrell have been seen in her time at Pryux.

Edited by Resilynn
I, a human with a degree in English literature, cannot English

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                                        Federation Avowal Revocation Announcement


Editor’s note: Translated to all languages


It has been announced that due to the actions of various C’thur conspirators working with terrorist Nliix Qoiruio, the one responsible for the attack on the Tzqul Archive some time ago, all avowals of responsibility granted by the Jargon Federation to C’thur citizens seeking employment outside of Federation space, namely Tau Ceti, are to be immediately revoked. All C’thur working under corporations such as NanoTrasen who require an avowal to assume roles above civilian level jobs must re-earn their avowals effective immediately. All C’thur will receive a one month grace period to receive their new avowals before receiving a demotion. In addition, any C’thur new to the system and/or companies must earn an avowal before taking any roles above civilian level jobs. 


Many C’thur have spoken out against this action, even condemning those who worked with the terrorist as traitors to the hive. The following is from an interview held with Ka’Akaix’Vlekz C’thur, a Federation scientist and member of the C’thur hive. 

“The actions of those assisting this terrorist should not be presumed to be the will of our queen, for we have no ill will against the Federation after all they have done for us. Any who assisted this terrorist are traitors to the entire hive, and should be culled.”


High Queen C’thur has yet to make a statement about this action.


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Posted (edited)


Possible Origin for the Dionae


Editors note: Translated to Basic.


Dionae were previously thought to not have an origin, however, recent archaeological findings point to the contrary. Skrell Archaeobotanists, for the last twenty years, have been studying the celestial bodies within the a region called 'The Clash'.

Epsilon Ursae Minoris, by the JVSS Qu'Rii, is one of these such planets. Epsilon Ursae Minoris (EUM) hosted over a thousand Dionae, which had pooled together to create a makeshift communications tower that lured the Skrellian Explorers down. It was when Captain Weirun Tup disappeared, but more likely to have been assimilated by these peaceful giants, that further studying of the region began. 

Skrell Archaeobotanists spread out from Epsilon Ursae Minoris (EUM) specifically towards the more untouched regions of the Orion Spur, and it was here that the numerous findings over the last two decades have finally been exposed. Further out the region, there are star-systems littered, including those that harbour planets capable of supporting the xenoflora found on Epsilon Ursae Minoris as well as similar ones found in the region. 

There are currently six different star-systems that each have been identified to have had Dionae at one stage in their lifespans, DA 5511 (Tiigeda), DA 6674 (Uros), MD 66311 (Werlit), DA 1123 (Liaackfa), MD 77854 (Exhoex) and HR 44217 (Xardenu). These star systems are noted to be abnormally bright and radioactive. There have been a total of one-hundred-and-thirty fossilized nymphs found across these systems, each dating back to over a thousand years ago. It is currently unknown whether these nymphs would have had a society similar to that of what was found on Epsilon Ursae Minoris (EUM) or rather an entirely unique one. 

Each system appears to be in a similar period of their lifespan, and are expected to go supernova within a couple hundred years of one another. Experts suspect that this is what drew the Dionae Cetus (possibly Titan) to the region, and possibly solidifies the fact many of the Dionae found within this section of the Orion Spur share a common cluster origin. 

Dionae would have lived life with many of their basic needs fulfilled being soaked in cosmic radiation, as well as the extreme brightness of the Stars. Many Skrell Archaeobotanists have begun to theorise that the region, at one stage, would have been one of the brightest segments in this section of the Orion Spur thus luring the Diona Cetus, or Titan.

Some speculate that Dionae may have been designed by a precursor civilization to assist in terraforming efforts, but many find this theory lacking in any factual evidence, more so outright claiming it to be conjecture. Others wait in anticipation for more data to be revealed on the findings, which would give us a glance into the past of the Dionae found in 'The Clash'.

Edited by Caelphon

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