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[Denied]Whitelist for the Zhan-Khazan Tajara Race.


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Posted (edited)

BYOND Key: EmperorOfSpace


Character Names: Julian Hockner (Human, Male) M'akeli Wamarhir (Zhan-Khazan Tajara)


Species you are applying to play: Zhan-Khazan Tajara


What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt):


Desert brown, Beige, Or A greyish Black more of a dusty brown colour.



Have you read our lore section's page on this species?:


Yes, the Tajar race reins from the Planet known as Adhomai, The Adhomai military is known as the Peoples Republic of Adhomai lands. Tajar are also religious. And had one of the worst massacres know to man, Called the D'as'ral Massacre.



Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question.



Why do you wish to play this specific race:


The Zhan-Khazan Tajara race has a very intense history of being brutish and very hard workers. Working in the culinary arts of butchery, resource gathering, logging and more. I tend to play as roles who are more intimidating than smart witted. It feels good to rule with a iron fist don't you agree?



Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:


The Zhan-Khazan Tajar can see in the dark much better than humans can, have extreme sleeping habits, and do double the damage humans do. (im not choosing this role for that though) because they have claws not hands.



Character Name: M'akeli Wamarhir Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

.

M'akeli Wamarhir, Born and raised on the Planet known as Adhomai, he lived in a abusive household and worked on a farm that his Father had owned. Was almost almost beat by his Father everyday and forced to work with little food or water, he lived like this for 7 years of his life starting from the age of 9. When he was 16 he left to find his mother packing what little possessions he owned and ran away from the terrible place he had called home for many years, He was considered a grubby young homeless teen but he made do with the decision of not ending up dead on his fathers farm being a resource collector. His dream was to become a Law Enforcer on the station known as the NSS Aurora he definitely knew he was capable because of his colossal size unfortunately the war against the revolutionists stopped him from his dream or at least until it ended, he was forced to join the Peoples Republic of Adhomai land and fight against them. He fought many battles and witnessed the terrible D'as'ral Massacre with over ninety million casualties. He lost many friends he had met during the war because of this massacre and was truly blessed to come back to his homeland in one piece. After watching the devastating results of the war he wanted to get off this frozen wasteland called a planet. So his final goal in life is to serve the law on the NSS aurora with a iron fist. Of course with the others as well.



What do you like about this character?


M'akeli Wamarhir is extremely resilient from the escape of his Fathers wrath and the terrible war against the revolutionists. He has thick skin and is ready for whatever the NSS has in store for him. maybe bombs though. No bombs.


How would you rate your role-playing ability?


A solid 8/10


Notes: No notes.

Edited by Guest
Guest Marlon Phoenix
Posted

Two notes for you:


Please edit your post to fix the formatting and remove the all-bold nature of the post.


A race whitelist application is a whitelist for the entire race, not a specific ethnicity within that race, so if you get this app you can play as ANY of the ethnicities.

Posted

did i get listed or not though

 

Not yet.


You essentially need to work out the kinks in your whitelist and get community responses to it. You're allowed to plug your whitelist application once per round in the OOC chat. Preferably you do so as a round finishes up.

Posted

did i get listed or not though

 

Not yet.


You essentially need to work out the kinks in your whitelist and get community responses to it. You're allowed to plug your whitelist application once per round in the OOC chat. Preferably you do so as a round finishes up.

 

is it not illegal if i just spam my character in ooc im sure ill get a stern talking from a admin

 

As I said, once per round. That means linking to it once. Not 50 links spammed out over 5 seconds. Also you might want to fix the formating of your application, it's currently quite messy. (also note I'm no admin or mod, just giving friendly advice here)

Posted

messy how should i double space or just space

 

Actually most of seems fixed since last I read it, apologies. Only real remaining thing would be:


Yes, the Tajar race reins from the Planet known as Adhomai, The Adhomai military is known as the Peoples Republic of Adhomai lands. Tajar are also religious. And had one of the worst massacres know to man, Called the D'as'ral Massacre. Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question.


Should be:


Yes, the Tajar race reins from the Planet known as Adhomai, The Adhomai military is known as the Peoples Republic of Adhomai lands. Tajar are also religious. And had one of the worst massacres know to man, Called the D'as'ral Massacre.


Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question.

Posted

I am going to -1 this based on his server behavior that staff has contacted him about. He netspeaks, and quotes internet references/memes also IC in OOC's. Please improve your server play before you decide to gain a whitelist.

Posted

I'll be responding to this tomorrow.

 

so i made this for nothing.

great.

 

no. you've heard what issues people have with your playstyle, and you can fix them accordingly.

and you haven't even been denied, they're doing that tomorrow

Posted

I am also going to be putting a -1 here for exactly the same reasons that SonicGotNuked said. You really need to improve your roleplay before you apply for a race, because your roleplay as Julian is subpar, to say the least.

Posted

Well i intended to make Julian a crumby Janitor that drinks, smokes, and is generally just an ass.

 

I am sorry, but there is a difference between making a character who is a dick and breaking the server rules.

Guest Menown
Posted

Yes, OOC rulebreaking still counts but i don't run around IC and screw with people.

 

You constantly break character, without trying to maintain any actual character. Apparently you had been throwing grenades into rooms, telling people to enjoy hell before running off. You broke into the kitchen yesterday with an assistant and started throwing eggs and rolling pins at the other janitor.


You even started quoting the Game Grumps' intro over the public channel on the radio.

Posted

Alright, it seems that the OP obviously can not take criticism without making a excuse over every valid point that has been brought up. Before they get a whitelist, they really should learn how to become a more respectful player.


Please [mention]thesleepyshaolin[/mention] take our points as valid and work on them, because making excuses over every criticism you receive is not going to gain you the whitelist.

Guest
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