Zaeperry99 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 BYOND Key: Zaeperry99 Character Names: Naomi Ray, Alexander Barker Species you are applying to play: Skrell What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Pale green. Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes. Please provide well-articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: The Skrell lore has an inherent charm to it for me which I find personally enjoyable to read about, and would also enjoy playing a character from. The wide emotional capability of the Skrell along with the difficulty they have in expressing emotions through Tau Ceti basic provides interesting roleplay challenges which I'd like to experience. Lastly, their short and concise way of speaking appeals to me for a reason I honestly can't articulate. I think it's quaint and I like it a lot. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: This is a pretty massive list of things which I don't quite feel can be boiled down into not several paragraphs, but I'll try my best. First and foremost is the aforementioned trouble in communicating with those of other species'. Some of the most notable differences between Skrell and humans are their extremely liberal interpretation to change and adaptation coupled with their somewhat paradoxical tendency toward refusing to accept fault or admit wrongdoings. Skrell entertainment takes similar forms to that of Humans but is different in the nuance; most notably to me is the comedy which leaves those of other species' confused and not entertained which I empathize with, being extremely not funny myself. Character Name:Qrrnylt Wiirshln-Xyla Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Forenote: I apologize greatly for the length of this as the 'Approximately 2 paragraphs' text glares at me, but unlike the Skrell (in storytelling, at least!) I am not good at keeping things extremely concise. Qrrnyl Wiirshln was hatched to a Geneticist and Cyberneticist in the city of Gialok, both parents being followers of the Weishii religion. Eleven years after their birth, another child was hatched to their parents, this one is given the name of Turqlp Wiirshln. The second child's birth was considered a joyous event, including by their older sibling. After the requisite years, Qrrnyl graduated from primary schooling. Young Adulthood: In order to continue bringing pride to their parents, the now adult Skrell immediately enrolled in a venerable (though not famous) school of medicine and medical science. Turqlp didn't quite follow suit, completing primary schooling and immediately pursuing combined arts of painting, sculpting, and fashion. Qrrnyl spent multiple decades in the local university pursuing the fields of medicine, chemistry, and various medical sciences, though those primarily consisted of genetics. After the years in college, the still 'young' Skrell joined the field of medicine. While the concept of medical research was enticing, Qrrnyl still followed Weishii and felt that even with the importance of research in spirituality, closer bonds could be formed through the field of medicine. Nineteen years were spent in this field until life for all Skrell changed in 2413, with the discovery of Humanity. Adulthood: Like many Skrell, Qrrnyl was immediately driven to learn more about the humans upon their discovery, though mainly found interest in their biology and anatomy, and how it differed from those native to Qerrbalak. The Skrell had done exceedingly well in practice compared to college and had a relatively proud track-record. After much consideration, they left their career the next year and applied for the Aliose University of Medical Sciences; Surprisingly, amidst the wave of new applicants, Qrrnyl's application was accepted and they quickly began classes on Human medicine. Post-Graduation: After nearly the same amount of time spent in their first university, Qrrnyl graduated from AUMS, Qrrnyl alongside the new rush of medical doctors, geneticists and chemists began finding their places among humanity, though that mostly entailed medicine for Qrrnyl. Once job opportunities became available with Nanotrasen, the Skrell seized the opportunity; A chance to both form bonds and treat people whilst furthering and being near research. They were assigned to the NSS Canes Venatici ((Note: I genuinely don't know if the Canes Venatici existed in the year in question (2438), and couldn't find much in the lore about decommissioned space stations. Please do let me know if this needs to be tweaked/retconned.)) Eventually, in the year 2460, Qrrnyl sought to further research even further; Treating people in a hospital owned by a research wasn't quite enough, they sought to treat the researchers themselves. As such, the Skrell applied for a transfer to the NSS Aurora. What do you like about this character? Qrrnyl is driven by a passion to learn, as well as a passion to form close bonds to those they know. Though they're not abnormal by any Skrell standards, they still feel relatively unique to me - even though they'd likely seem just like any other Skrell to the average human character. The pursuit of medicine, I feel, makes it apparent that Qrrnyl is very empathetic toward the suffering of others. Though not overtly emotional about suffering, they are quite concerned about the well-being of others; I enjoy playing characters who feel this way, and think we could do with more of them. How would you rate your role-playing ability? 8/10 for chairRP, 5/10 for intense/combat RP. I try to avoid the latter. Notes: First of all, thank you for reading all of this! Both to the lore team responsible and the people who I mercilessly shove my app at for reviews who care enough to read it, even though it is by no means their job. Something I wanted to add in but never felt was opportune and didn't want to shove a billion more paragraphs in: Qrrnyl appended -Xyla to the end of their name after visiting the ruins of Xyla, and finding themselves completely captivated by both the beauty and historical significance of them. Link to comment
Snake2512 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 +1 All my interactions with Zae's characters have been positive and their character Naomi Ray is not only very good at their job but they achieve this success without a single hint of sexuality or other sexual promiscuity as a crutch for an otherwise bland character. Zae's ability to present a genuinely interesting and believable medical character without relying on such crutch not only demonstrates their skill as a roleplayer but also their competence with the game mechanics. The greatest example of their high roleplay capabilities though is their characters dedication to actually reflecting the cultural background they grew up in. Upon interacting with Naomi especially one can easily see she is significantly impacted by both her planet of origin (Mars) and the religion she follows (Judaism) going so far as to entirely disappear from the Relay during the Sabbath as per Jewish Law. It is probably the only character I've seen who has clearly demonstrated dedication to a religious obligation that inconveniences the character (and player). Link to comment
AmoryBlaine Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 +1 Ray Ray is stellar. Give this to them. I demand it. Link to comment
Trazz666 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Alexander Barker is a great character and I love seeing them. Zae always exhibits great RP skill and deserves the whitelist. Even though that means I might see Alex less. Link to comment
duskofdawn Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 Full disclosure, this person and I know each other personally. +1 though. Characters are always believable, well-made, and well-played. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Is it Qyrrnylt or Qyrrnyl? Is Qyrrnyl a woman or man? Is Turqlp a brother or a sister? One thing that really stuck out to me was that all references to gender were completely removed with everything either worded in the third person or using plural pronouns to avoid giving anyone a gender. "This Skrell" "Qyrrnyl" "they." How does Qyrrnyl feel about the Era of Jrgul Oppression? You reference Xyla as being some beautiful ruins and that's why the name was appended to your character... It was the site of a mass genocide by a cataclysmic event in Skrell history. Elements of which are kind of missing completely in the application. It was refreshing to see an application not focused on it, but, no references at all to it? What does Qyrrnyl do for fun? Does they like to kick back and rewatch Battle for Supreme Mountain? How does they feel about skiing? AUMS is kinda just thrown in there, and pretty unceremoniously too. It's played off more like a shrugged off pleasant surprise rather than being enrolled at one of the most prestigious institutions for medicine in the galaxy. Did Turqlp do anything cool after going off to become a painting artist fashionista? Or did the fam disown him for not going into the sciences? What ever happened to our character's parents? Qyrrnyl just kind of comes off as cardboard. All we know about is their parents' professions and their sibling's professions, and that Qyrrnyl's only personality trait is the joy of learning. I guess there's also a general sense of altruism but nothing really feels characterized here. "Likes to learn and likes to help people" isn't deep. Sure, whitelist applications don't have to be deep or profound, but I don't really see any indicators about how Qyrrnyl will play or why I should like them. BYOND Key: Zaeperry99 Character Names: Naomi Ray, Alexander Barker Species you are applying to play: Skrell What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Pale green. Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes. Please provide well-articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: The Skrell lore has an inherent charm to it for me which I find personally enjoyable to read about, and would also enjoy playing a character from. The wide emotional capability of the Skrell along with the difficulty they have in expressing emotions through Tau Ceti basic provides interesting roleplay challenges which I'd like to experience. Lastly, their short and concise way of speaking appeals to me for a reason I honestly can't articulate. I think it's quaint and I like it a lot. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: This is a pretty massive list of things which I don't quite feel can be boiled down into not several paragraphs, but I'll try my best. First and foremost is the aforementioned trouble in communicating with those of other species'. Some of the most notable differences between Skrell and humans are their extremely liberal interpretation to change and adaptation coupled with their somewhat paradoxical tendency toward refusing to accept fault or admit wrongdoings. Skrell entertainment takes similar forms to that of Humans but is different in the nuance; most notably to me is the comedy which leaves those of other species' confused and not entertained which I empathize with, being extremely not funny myself. Character Name:Qrrnylt Wiirshln-Xyla Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Forenote: I apologize greatly for the length of this as the 'Approximately 2 paragraphs' text glares at me, but unlike the Skrell (in storytelling, at least!) I am not good at keeping things extremely concise. Qrrnyl Wiirshln was hatched to a Geneticist and Cyberneticist in the city of Gialok, both parents being followers of the Weishii religion. Eleven years after their birth, another child was hatched to their parents, this one is given the name of Turqlp Wiirshln. The second child's birth was considered a joyous event, including by their older sibling. After the requisite years, Qrrnyl graduated from primary schooling. Young Adulthood: In order to continue bringing pride to their parents, the now adult Skrell immediately enrolled in a venerable (though not famous) school of medicine and medical science. Turqlp didn't quite follow suit, completing primary schooling and immediately pursuing combined arts of painting, sculpting, and fashion. Qrrnyl spent multiple decades in the local university pursuing the fields of medicine, chemistry, and various medical sciences, though those primarily consisted of genetics. After the years in college, the still 'young' Skrell joined the field of medicine. While the concept of medical research was enticing, Qrrnyl still followed Weishii and felt that even with the importance of research in spirituality, closer bonds could be formed through the field of medicine. Nineteen years were spent in this field until life for all Skrell changed in 2413, with the discovery of Humanity. Adulthood: Like many Skrell, Qrrnyl was immediately driven to learn more about the humans upon their discovery, though mainly found interest in their biology and anatomy, and how it differed from those native to Qerrbalak. The Skrell had done exceedingly well in practice compared to college and had a relatively proud track-record. After much consideration, they left their career the next year and applied for the Aliose University of Medical Sciences; Surprisingly, amidst the wave of new applicants, Qrrnyl's application was accepted and they quickly began classes on Human medicine. Post-Graduation: After nearly the same amount of time spent in their first university, Qrrnyl graduated from AUMS, Qrrnyl alongside the new rush of medical doctors, geneticists and chemists began finding their places among humanity, though that mostly entailed medicine for Qrrnyl. Once job opportunities became available with Nanotrasen, the Skrell seized the opportunity; A chance to both form bonds and treat people whilst furthering and being near research. They were assigned to the NSS Canes Venatici ((Note: I genuinely don't know if the Canes Venatici existed in the year in question (2438), and couldn't find much in the lore about decommissioned space stations. Please do let me know if this needs to be tweaked/retconned.)) Eventually, in the year 2460, Qrrnyl sought to further research even further; Treating people in a hospital owned by a research wasn't quite enough, they sought to treat the researchers themselves. As such, the Skrell applied for a transfer to the NSS Aurora. What do you like about this character? Qrrnyl is driven by a passion to learn, as well as a passion to form close bonds to those they know. Though they're not abnormal by any Skrell standards, they still feel relatively unique to me - even though they'd likely seem just like any other Skrell to the average human character. The pursuit of medicine, I feel, makes it apparent that Qrrnyl is very empathetic toward the suffering of others. Though not overtly emotional about suffering, they are quite concerned about the well-being of others; I enjoy playing characters who feel this way, and think we could do with more of them. How would you rate your role-playing ability? 8/10 for chairRP, 5/10 for intense/combat RP. I try to avoid the latter. Notes: First of all, thank you for reading all of this! Both to the lore team responsible and the people who I mercilessly shove my app at for reviews who care enough to read it, even though it is by no means their job. Something I wanted to add in but never felt was opportune and didn't want to shove a billion more paragraphs in: Qrrnyl appended -Xyla to the end of their name after visiting the ruins of Xyla, and finding themselves completely captivated by both the beauty and historical significance of them. Link to comment
Zaeperry99 Posted July 20, 2018 Author Share Posted July 20, 2018 First off, thank you very much for the questions and criticism! I was very much hoping for a bit of feedback on the character. I'll tackle these one at a time and try not to get too off track with each answer. Is it Qyrrnylt or Qyrrnyl? A mistake in proofreading, my bad; the name is Qyrrnyl. Is Qyrrnyl a woman or man? Is Turqlp a brother or a sister? One thing that really stuck out to me was that all references to gender were completely removed with everything either worded in the third person or using plural pronouns to avoid giving anyone a gender. "This Skrell" "Qyrrnyl" "they." Qyrrnyl is male. The total lack of gender pronouns was a (potentially misguided) attempt at showing in the writing itself rather than textdumps / overt recital the concern (or lack thereof) of gender in Skrell society. Looking back on it, that information should've been included in the post-notes as well. Turqlp is his brother, and thus also a male. How does Qyrrnyl feel about the Era of Jrgul Oppression? Though it embarrasses me to say so, I'll need a bit more context or a reference to properly answer this, as in the course scanning over the wiki/forums/lore channel I never saw anything about the current administration being oppressive. And assuming this was a mistype toward the era of Synthetic Oppression (hopefully to no offense!) I'll say that he's quite immensely disgusted from both a broad and personal perspective; He views the loss of life as senseless and tragic, as well as having immense concerns about how well he'll be able to pass along the genes and legacy of both himself and his parents. You reference Xyla as being some beautiful ruins and that's why the name was appended to your character... It was the site of a mass genocide by a cataclysmic event in Skrell history. Elements of which are kind of missing completely in the application. It was refreshing to see an application not focused on it, but, no references at all to it? I'll admit that this is more of an oversight on my part rather than a minor mistake. My research into Xyla came up relatively blank and the cliffs note about cities lying in ruin due to the Glorsh Rebellion didn't quite stick with me as well as I'd have liked it to, at which point I likely should've consulted the lore channel/forums. With the new information provided (Once again, very much appreciated!) I do plan on retconning and editing this bit of the backstory should I need to re-write the application or if the character goes through, though I'll leave it be for archiving's sake at the time being. What does Qyrrnyl do for fun? Does they like to kick back and rewatch Battle for Supreme Mountain? How does they feel about skiing? Even masterpieces can only be watched so many times frame-for-frame before they've been watched effectively to death (Which I will very firmly say Qyrrnyl has done.) I'm a bit disappointed in myself for not elaborating more on hobbies, as it's what makes a character seem fun and enjoyable in my opinion. The first hobby to really come to mind is the formal dance. It's both a mentally and physically active art of a hobby, not to mention dance is the undisputed universal language of expression, and thus crosses the rather tough language barrier. The second more active hobby would be cuisine. Not nearly to a professional level, but rather as a way to turn the obligation of eating into an enjoyable activity. As for less active, more 'lazy' activities - because I'll go out on a limb and assume even Skrell do need something to do before bed - I'll plant Qyrrnyl firmly in preferring cinema to literature, both because of the slightly more relaxing qualities of film and the details one can catch with intense observation. AUMS is kinda just thrown in there, and pretty unceremoniously too. It's played off more like a shrugged off pleasant surprise rather than being enrolled at one of the most prestigious institutions for medicine in the galaxy. I can definitely work on this and flesh it out, but there's not much I can do in response other than ensuring that, in spite of the emphasis put on it, I do consider it a very momentous occasion and the 'second turning point of his life', a phrase I cut out because I felt it was a bit cheesy. Did Turqlp do anything cool after going off to become a painting artist fashionista? Or did the fam disown him for not going into the sciences? What ever happened to our character's parents? His brother saw and sees relative success in the field of arts of music, though not nearly celebrity status. The two's parents see it as a disappointment, though certainly nothing to separate a family over; more of a dishonorable child than the black-sheep of the family. I like to imagine that though they follow very different fields, the combination of Qyrrnyl's interest in expression through dance and his brother's musical ability does bring them closer together. Both of their parents are still alive and in their respective fields, with his geneticist mother working alongside others to further advance and improve cloning, and his cyberneticist father continuing a less research and more practice-oriented career in replacing and maintaining cybernetics. The two also remain in regular contact with them. This is definitely insubstantial fluff, but it's very wholesome insubstantial fluff I very much like. And lastly, but not leastly! Qyrrnyl just kind of comes off as cardboard. All we know about is their parents' professions and their sibling's professions, and that Qyrrnyl's only personality trait is the joy of learning. I guess there's also a general sense of altruism but nothing really feels characterized here. "Likes to learn and likes to help people" isn't deep. Sure, whitelist applications don't have to be deep or profound, but I don't really see any indicators about how Qyrrnyl will play or why I should like them. I'm very much hoping the answers provided have helped clear up this feeling! The application was definitely focused much too heavily on his backstory rather than him as a person, and reading back through with the context of the questions I've realized that's a bit of a shame, considering I do like the character I've created in my mind, and could probably spend quite some time talking about him as a person. Once again, you have my immense thanks both for taking the time to really read and analyze the application, as well as giving me quite a bit more to elaborate on, and an excuse to do so. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 First off, thank you very much for the questions and criticism! I was very much hoping for a bit of feedback on the character. I'll tackle these one at a time and try not to get too off track with each answer. Is it Qyrrnylt or Qyrrnyl? A mistake in proofreading, my bad; the name is Qyrrnyl. Is Qyrrnyl a woman or man? Is Turqlp a brother or a sister? One thing that really stuck out to me was that all references to gender were completely removed with everything either worded in the third person or using plural pronouns to avoid giving anyone a gender. "This Skrell" "Qyrrnyl" "they." Qyrrnyl is male. The total lack of gender pronouns was a (potentially misguided) attempt at showing in the writing itself rather than textdumps / overt recital the concern (or lack thereof) of gender in Skrell society. Looking back on it, that information should've been included in the post-notes as well. Turqlp is his brother, and thus also a male. How does Qyrrnyl feel about the Era of Jrgul Oppression? Though it embarrasses me to say so, I'll need a bit more context or a reference to properly answer this, as in the course scanning over the wiki/forums/lore channel I never saw anything about the current administration being oppressive. And assuming this was a mistype toward the era of Synthetic Oppression (hopefully to no offense!) I'll say that he's quite immensely disgusted from both a broad and personal perspective; He views the loss of life as senseless and tragic, as well as having immense concerns about how well he'll be able to pass along the genes and legacy of both himself and his parents. You reference Xyla as being some beautiful ruins and that's why the name was appended to your character... It was the site of a mass genocide by a cataclysmic event in Skrell history. Elements of which are kind of missing completely in the application. It was refreshing to see an application not focused on it, but, no references at all to it? I'll admit that this is more of an oversight on my part rather than a minor mistake. My research into Xyla came up relatively blank and the cliffs note about cities lying in ruin due to the Glorsh Rebellion didn't quite stick with me as well as I'd have liked it to, at which point I likely should've consulted the lore channel/forums. With the new information provided (Once again, very much appreciated!) I do plan on retconning and editing this bit of the backstory should I need to re-write the application or if the character goes through, though I'll leave it be for archiving's sake at the time being. What does Qyrrnyl do for fun? Does they like to kick back and rewatch Battle for Supreme Mountain? How does they feel about skiing? Even masterpieces can only be watched so many times frame-for-frame before they've been watched effectively to death (Which I will very firmly say Qyrrnyl has done.) I'm a bit disappointed in myself for not elaborating more on hobbies, as it's what makes a character seem fun and enjoyable in my opinion. The first hobby to really come to mind is the formal dance. It's both a mentally and physically active art of a hobby, not to mention dance is the undisputed universal language of expression, and thus crosses the rather tough language barrier. The second more active hobby would be cuisine. Not nearly to a professional level, but rather as a way to turn the obligation of eating into an enjoyable activity. As for less active, more 'lazy' activities - because I'll go out on a limb and assume even Skrell do need something to do before bed - I'll plant Qyrrnyl firmly in preferring cinema to literature, both because of the slightly more relaxing qualities of film and the details one can catch with intense observation. AUMS is kinda just thrown in there, and pretty unceremoniously too. It's played off more like a shrugged off pleasant surprise rather than being enrolled at one of the most prestigious institutions for medicine in the galaxy. I can definitely work on this and flesh it out, but there's not much I can do in response other than ensuring that, in spite of the emphasis put on it, I do consider it a very momentous occasion and the 'second turning point of his life', a phrase I cut out because I felt it was a bit cheesy. Did Turqlp do anything cool after going off to become a painting artist fashionista? Or did the fam disown him for not going into the sciences? What ever happened to our character's parents? His brother saw and sees relative success in the field of arts of music, though not nearly celebrity status. The two's parents see it as a disappointment, though certainly nothing to separate a family over; more of a dishonorable child than the black-sheep of the family. I like to imagine that though they follow very different fields, the combination of Qyrrnyl's interest in expression through dance and his brother's musical ability does bring them closer together. Both of their parents are still alive and in their respective fields, with his geneticist mother working alongside others to further advance and improve cloning, and his cyberneticist father continuing a less research and more practice-oriented career in replacing and maintaining cybernetics. The two also remain in regular contact with them. This is definitely insubstantial fluff, but it's very wholesome insubstantial fluff I very much like. And lastly, but not leastly! Qyrrnyl just kind of comes off as cardboard. All we know about is their parents' professions and their sibling's professions, and that Qyrrnyl's only personality trait is the joy of learning. I guess there's also a general sense of altruism but nothing really feels characterized here. "Likes to learn and likes to help people" isn't deep. Sure, whitelist applications don't have to be deep or profound, but I don't really see any indicators about how Qyrrnyl will play or why I should like them. I'm very much hoping the answers provided have helped clear up this feeling! The application was definitely focused much too heavily on his backstory rather than him as a person, and reading back through with the context of the questions I've realized that's a bit of a shame, considering I do like the character I've created in my mind, and could probably spend quite some time talking about him as a person. Once again, you have my immense thanks both for taking the time to really read and analyze the application, as well as giving me quite a bit more to elaborate on, and an excuse to do so. I approve, you didn't even fall for my trap question! +1 Link to comment
Loow Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 Hey there. Loow here. From the looks of things, Zaep really cares about his character concept. He's clearly put some thought into it. He held up well to criticism and responded in a way that revealed a lot of the details behind his character. A good app helped by good responses on the part of the applicant. It's clear that people have faith in him as well. I won't drag this one out any more. Good stuff. Let's see how Qrrnyl develops. Application Accepted. Link to comment
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