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About Mistakes, and a Note of Passing

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Hello, I'm Covert. For those of you who don't know me, I was a senior player of Aurora, ex-admin. I'd like to take some time to make an apology for my actions as both an administrator, and after I was. For those of you who don't know, (Read: most, as I didn't tell anyone) I was not the example of a good admin. Very, very far from it. I asbused my position multiple times, using it to alter the flow of the game, further my own objectives, and destroy the nature of the server, from trust of staff, to the gameplay, and others. Let's start with my abuse of the title.

I have many counts of admin abuse. So many, in fact, I likely don't remember them all. From releasing the singularity, to rejuving myself, to spawning GbS, or spawning small items to make my life easier. I did these things for a long time, until I was caught, and my administrative positon lowered to secondary admin. This did not change anything, and in fact, I became worse, to spite the other admins. In my time as an admin, I broke many friendships, and the trust any had in me was gone. I also slandered other people, for my own jollies, as it were. I have lied about myself and the things I have done, from outright declaring they are untrue, to downplaying the issues, to lying to my friends, and to lying to people to promote my cause. I won't do that here. Through my reckless behaviour, carelessness, and thinking no one would ever find out, I also diminished the trust between staff and payers, and caused more drama than I thought was possible.

Moving on, we come to the topic of Hivefleetchicken and Indietides. For those of you who don't know them, they were senior and active players of the server, whom I was friends with. Hivefleet, in fact, was one of my best friends, real life and out, that I have ever had. They were RPing on the outpost, and I spawned brains to mess around with them. When confronted on why I had spawned brains, I lied, and said that I was only trying to stop people from ERPing, both as a joke towards Hive, and as a way to throw them under the bus, and get me away from the heat. This action led to my friendship with Hivefleet to be destroyed, something I didn't even realise until half a month after it had happened, with outside notice, proving how not in-tune I was with the state of myself and that I did not understand what I was even doing was wrong.

After that, my adminship was revoked, and I spent some time on the server. I then left for about four months as a break, a form of self-ban on myself to try and attune for what I have done. But no amount of time banned can free me from how many times I have broken the 'Don't be a dick' rule. I am the shining beacon to admins everywhere, of what not to be. Someone who breaks the rules of their own server, who takes the very meaning of being a nuetral admin, of being a friend and helper, and set it on fire on top of the other things I have done. I was trusted with a position of power, that even when I first recieved it, wasn't ready for, and I took that trust and melted it into a pot of lies and malice. I undermined the trust anyone had in me, as well as others. Over my time as an admin, as well, I caused many people to leave. From Plahunter, to Yeahchris, to Hive and Indie, and more, who, despicably, I don't even remember the names of.

I write this with literal tears in my eyes, not because I will never be back, or I will never see any of you, apart from other servers, but that what I did was terrible. I was a terrible human being, to each and every one of you, knowingly and solely. I caused so much drama, and multiple forum posts, that were seemingly to the whole server, but inspired by me, and me alone. I want to stay, to try and make amends, to be a better player and role-model, but after everything, I've realized that just isn't possible anymore. I made this server a playground for me, a place where I could do what I want regardless of what other people thoght or wanted. This is not what this server is about. This server is about the people, a place where the community chooses what to play, what to change and who makes the decisions. This is a safehaven, of sorts, where someone can go to forget their real problems, forget that they're a meaningless peice of garbage and that they work a low-paying job, with no significant other, no even chance of having one, and the internet holds most of their dear friends. I was that person, when I first joined. I became an egotistical power-hungry fucker, who backstabbed and lied his so-called friends. That is why I love this server. The people here are amazing, truly, Nursiekitty, and DuckDucknoose, and Nightmare, and Ffrances, and Erik and OneOneThreeEight, and Jackboot and Aqy, and Hive when he played, and Scopes, and Jenna, and Loow, and Keinto, and Ryfer, andSkull, and Conspire, and the whole staff, and the players.

They are why I loved the server, and through my own actions, I have ruined my friendships. I wish I could stay. I do. I will miss this server more than I have missed... anything, however pathetic that is. I wish I could wave my hand and make Hivefleet come back, make all the stupid abuse go away, and for everyone to understand. But I can't stay, for my actions are way too grave. I hope, that despite my acitons, what little contribuitions I have made to the server, such as the Vaurca, the help I have given, the roleplay I have created through the few good things about me, I hope that is what stays. I will miss all of you.

I'll also say I'm not asking for forgiveness, I don't want that. I don't want anyone to feel pity for me, I want everyone who reads this to understand what I did, and that I despise it. That I shed literal tears over what I did and what friendships I ruined. If I can get one thing, I only hope you all can understand.

With that, I will say that I have been banned. Prior to writing this, I had a meeting with some of the staff. They decided my actions, rightfully so, were worht a permanant ban, and that I did not understand fully why I need to begone of this server. I wish I could say they weren't right, but they are. A significant amount of time will need to pass for me to forget that his safehaven, this server, won't be a playground for me, even as a player. I wish that it weren't true. I will miss all of you, so so much. And I suppose I will divvy up what I have done. The fate of the Vaurca, goes of course to Jackboot, who can give it to whom he wants, or scrap it. The Uaekis family is now also in the hands of Jackboot, who can do what he wants with it. And, if anyone wants to talk to me about personal reasons, or wants a chat, or wants to yell their brains out at me for what I did, my skype is Covertoddity, currently showing up as 'The Fence'.

Goodbye, for the last time.

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You know what sucks the most about this? You weren't a complete shitter. Despite all your flaws, you still remained a very enjoyable person to be with, both on a personal and administrative level. I hope these flaws don't keep holding back your best, because I think people were always ready (and still will be, I hope) to move past them with you.

Maybe the sad truth here is that fully recognizing and admitting your mistakes doesn't even guarantee you you'll succeed in fixing them. But it's the first step.


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Okay so.

I wasn't here for the last few months I don't know if you noticed, so I'm not 100% on what happened with everything, but I played with you a lot and enjoyed our time together.

It's a shame that things turned out like this, though. And I wish you all the best.

You'll find somewhere else though, it'll take time and stuff, but you will do. Also I hope you're happy there, also also you probably don't need to hear this from me of all people but when you do find that place, try and be more... well. You know what I was going to say. Your post proves it.

be seeing you trenchcoat

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Damn it Covy... I'm so pissed I wasn't here when this went on. You were like my bastard child. Despite all the shit you've done I won't be having a lower opinion of you, I just wish I was here at the time so I could try to switch you back.

I started to do what you seemed to do. Messing around, not caring. It's one of the many reasons I stepped down from Community Manager, I just had to get away. And after I came back I was back to my old self. Feel free to message me on Skype and Steam bae. You have me on both.

I still remember -1'ing your first ever whitelist app on Apollo. I've had a lot of fun with you Covy, you'll be sorely missed by me. Good luck in your next adventure.

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