Player Complaint: Seven Ghost, Tainavaa, Greenspider

[Skull132]

BYOND Key:

• Skull132/Erec Bellard

Player Byond Key:

• Seven Ghost/Lucy Sparks
• Tainavaa/Tina Kaekel
  
• Greenspider/Faith Johnson

Reason for complaint:

Summary of the situation:

Preface: I agree with the fact that the character I played (Erec Bellard) is an arse, and argumentative. However, my engagements were, I believe, measured and only spanned one conversation. From which, apparently, all of the blow came to be.

Right. Initial situation as follows: I go to grow things in Hydroponics, having joined as a scientist. Lucy Sparks (RD), Tina Kaekel (HoP) and Faith Johnson (Scientist) are sitting in the RnD lab, chitchatting and whatever else have you.

Incident one: While growing things, and making my research, Erec and Faith get into a debate about whether or not removing EVA helms in a specific situation is smart or not. Both sides slander eachother with plain words like, "Dumb" and so on. Eventually, Lucy steps in and orders the net to be cleared. Both characters abide, and the science channel falls silent. The argument is dropped, as I don't interact with Faith outside of comms, due to them three being in the RnD lab, and me in Hydroponics. Things continue per normal.

Incident two: While I was working in Hydroponics, Lucy Sparks walked past me wearing a secHUD (that she was eventually going to give to the detective, as I determined). Beepsky passed by in the opposing direction. Shortly after Lucy goes out of my view range, Beepsky starts ticking after me. About 3 times, my records are altered by Lucy Sparks. She later admits it to both Tina Kaekel, and Faith Johnson. As I am later told by a ghost, they basically shrug it off and carry on, as if this was the norm and acceptable.

Following this, I jump chain (as is procedure when your line-leader does this) and go to the Captain to file a complaint. I fill the complaint, go back to my work.

Incident three: I have finished my shenanigans in Hydroponics, and want to go back to RnD. The door is locked. I open the panel to find the bolt wire rigged with a signaler and the bolt light wire cut. Faith and Tina (Lucy was occupied, and elsewhere) are in the room, playing dumb for a few moments before they unlock the door. I get infuriated ICly, and call the Captain over. Some verbal bitching and moaning from all sides (myself included), and the end situation comes down to the Lucy and Faith admitting to having rigged the door.

The Captain and a sec officer are finishing the situation, I request permission to continue with my work, and go to lathe up a piece I need. I get flashed and cuffed by Lucy. The situation is resolved with the Captain asking Lucy to walk away. She makes a break for it, disarms the Captain, takes his weapon and then gets slammed to the ground by security.

 

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Summary of issues to present:

• Lucy Sparks lacking any professionalism while in command, to the point where they find (as observed by a third party) illegal action acceptable, as long as it's done by they're considered a friend (Reference incident three, and with them being aware of the tampering with the door; reference incident two, and with them considering actions like that the ones they conducted themselves acceptable)
• Improper conduct on the behalf of Lucy Sparks as a Head of Staff (Reference incident two and the end of incident three)
  
• Favourtism to the point of interfering with command duties on the behalf of Lucy Sparks & Tina Kaekel (Neither took any actions against Erec Bellard, his conduct, or Faith Johnson, and her conduct. Further more, reference incident two, Tina Kaekel was fully aware of the massive overstepping of bounds conducted by Lucy Sparks, and took no action against it due to them being friends)
  
• Unnecessary escalation of force, illogical escalation of force on the behalf of Lucy Sparks (Reference incident three, to go as far as to attempt to ghetto-arrest your scientist I don't have an issue with; but to disarm the captain and take their weapon after being already put into the dirt once is irksome, and is not something that should happen, in my opinion, as a head of staff)
  
• Overall conduct observed is inexcusable and not permissible in my eyes. To play the favourite card to the point where you yourself start hunting for your staff, is idiotic and sets a terrible example. Further more, it's counter productive towards gameplay, OOCly. The two heads in question did nothing beyond inciting conflict: no steps to resolve, compromise, or etcetera were taken on their behalf, beyond the usage of force. No attempts to talk to me were made, only Lucy setting me to arrest.

[Kerbal22]

I wasn't present during any of this, but this seems like a classic case of friends before work. Must i remind people that this is a PROFESSIONAL, SECRET RESEARCH STATION. You are here to WORK. Not fuck around with your friends and abuse your position. Bellard might be an ass, yeah. Expect that in a working world. On a space station.

You should not take petty arguments to such an extreme that you end up attacking someone, or outright committing a crime simply to get revenge on them. I mean, if someone pulled this shit IRL, they'd get jail time and lose their job. Why in the fuck is it acceptable in a video game?

[Guest]

As for the body of the text, I affirm I've seen it and deny nothing. The bullet points are my interest.

I don't deny that my department runs by favoritism. I tend to deal with people who don't treat the rest of the team respectfully, even verbally, very harshly. I go too far for my decided core members and I let many of them get away with too much. That's how a department full of weirdos works.

I won't say that many will find fault with this. I'll also say its a standard model of operation here, some characters are openly mob families with retainers in security. I don't go that for or have those same aims, but even the server administration acted with croneyism when they OOC gave information to eachother over a matter I would normally be able to talk myself out of.

The only regrets I have are as follows:

I disarmed the captain and assaulted Bellard. Not characteristic for me and not something I even thought would work for an escape, considering all this happened after I threw my ID at the captain.

I didn't deal with Bellard in a more inventive or inventive way. I single out people who don't fit with my selected team. I humble them. I don't feel sorry about this, only that what I did was so ill planned and ineffective.

I'm simply also tired. I'm just tired tonight and I didn't react as rationally as I normally would. I don't think this excuses anything, and I'm not going to try to cover up.

[Skull132]

...but even the server administration acted with croneyism when they OOC gave information to eachother over a matter I would normally be able to talk myself out of.

 

I made a point of keeping my IC actions separate from OOC/Msay. And frankly, the only thing I was doing over MSay was moaning up a storm out of being annoyed to shit.

If you're referring to Avery/Doomberg getting witnesses on you with SecHUDs, I ICly referred to Whisper, as she had been with my character as you walked by. Beyond that, I don't know how many witnesses he got, or how he got them. You can ask him.

If it's something else that you're referring to, please, explain.

 

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And about the being tired things? I'm done hearing that excuse. It's the hallmark of a leader who is unable to maintain accountability for their own actions and the actions of their team. A leader is suppose to recognize when they are at odds with their current status, and say, "No, I won't take on this responsibility of leadership, as I am unfit." It irks me to hell and back, and it needs to stop existing as an excuse, or the people bringing it up as an excuse need to reevaluate their position.

[Frances]

I have a few questions for Seven - your post might've shed some light on the situation but I'd prefer for us to be absolutely clear.

-What was your intent in using the secHUD to change Bellard's arrest status?

-Why was the door in R&D tampered with?

-What exactly were you hoping to achieve by flashcuffing Bellard, and what made you decide to try to fight the captain, your direct superior, to the point of attempting to take their weapon? (I might be more interested in the IC train of thought here, and what led to it happening.)

If you feel you're too tired to provide a proper answer to any of those questions, feel free to come back to them after you've had some rest.

[Guest]

I think I'll carry on this discussion another time when I'm not in an irrational mindset. At this point I feel too defensive to really communicate effectively. I'm not even sure if this is something I even want to defend myself from.

[Tainavaa]

Tina wasn't playing dumb; she had her glasses off, and was looking at the ground and didn't notice Erec at first. He mentioned stuff about wires and a signaler, to which Tina replied something along the lines of "I vaguely understand what any of that means" and promptly told Faith to let Erec in right after. Tina was played passively intentionally, but when Avery asked who set Erec to arrest she answered truthfully without beating around the bush. When security came, she made sure she wasn't in the way of security business.

[Skull132]

Tina wasn't playing dumb; she had her glasses off, and was looking at the ground and didn't notice Erec at first. He mentioned stuff about wires and a signaler, to which Tina replied something along the lines of "I vaguely understand what any of that means" and promptly told Faith to let Erec in right after. Tina was played passively intentionally, but when Avery asked who set Erec to arrest she answered truthfully without beating around the bush. When security came, she made sure she wasn't in the way of security business.

 

The issue I have here is that you were purely a reactionary force, not a proactive one.

You must have been aware of all of the actions Lucy was taking, and had not taken. At no one point did you choose to step in, or try and stop the escalation of the issues present. You simply stood there, nodded and answered when needed, instead of even making sure that your friend doesn't go overboard. As far as I'm tracking, you didn't even inform the Captain, only gave information when requested.

Being a purely reactionary force is okay and totally acceptable as a follower.

Being a purely reactionary force as a leader is signing off with complete disregard towards your duties to the position that you hold. And it's bad.

[Tainavaa]

Tina wasn't playing dumb; she had her glasses off, and was looking at the ground and didn't notice Erec at first. He mentioned stuff about wires and a signaler, to which Tina replied something along the lines of "I vaguely understand what any of that means" and promptly told Faith to let Erec in right after. Tina was played passively intentionally, but when Avery asked who set Erec to arrest she answered truthfully without beating around the bush. When security came, she made sure she wasn't in the way of security business.

 

The issue I have here is that you were purely a reactionary force, not a proactive one.

You must have been aware of all of the actions Lucy was taking, and had not taken. At no one point did you choose to step in, or try and stop the escalation of the issues present. You simply stood there, nodded and answered when needed, instead of even making sure that your friend doesn't go overboard. As far as I'm tracking, you didn't even inform the Captain, only gave information when requested.

Being a purely reactionary force is okay and totally acceptable as a follower.

Being a purely reactionary force as a leader is signing off with complete disregard towards your duties to the position that you hold. And it's bad.

 

Tina knew about the attempt at setting Erec to arrest. Lucy told her she tried, but failed. I honestly don't remember the details but something to do with Beepsky. When Avery messaged Tina asking who did it, that was a confirmation that it happened. I'm not certain about anything else she did, but Faith hacked the door and Tina knew. Those are the only two events I'm aware of, besides the petty bickering. She tried to be passive about that but when she saw Erec she felt bad about being a part of it and thusly told Faith to let him in. It's bad, yeah, and I'm well aware. Considering how infrequent she actually behaves that way, and considering the events that transpired beforehand I personally don't believe it warrants a forum complaint.

[Guest Marlon Phoenix]

I won't say that many will find fault with this. I'll also say its a standard model of operation here, some characters are openly mob families with retainers in security. I don't go that for or have those same aims, but even the server administration acted with croneyism when they OOC gave information to eachother over a matter I would normally be able to talk myself out of.

 

I do not believe I was present during this incident in question, but I feel compelled to argue against any implication that this is a precedent to be openly subversive or antagonistic. From this complaint it sounds like the characters involved had no reason to do what they did outside blatant and extremely open nepotism. I'm not aware of other characters, but the Jawdats and their retainers/friends do not act in antagonistic ways outside antag roles unless it's a reactionary force. And they are not open about it, hence the euphemisms and coded messages and refusal to admit to being a criminal.

Favouritism and nepotism can be fun IC'ly, but you have to ration it. You need to balance what is expected of someone in your position with what you'd IC'ly want to get away with. You won't always get your way, and will sometimes need to make IC sacrifices or let things go ways that you wish they didn't.

[Skull132]

It's bad, yeah, and I'm well aware.

 

Not an excuse I am willing to accept, not anymore. There are a good few issues that the character has been presented with, and that have been overlooked for one reason or another.

For me, the display of incompetence, favouritism and outright failure to serve the IC and OOC responsibility that the privilege of playing a Head of Staff presents you with is enough to make me maintain this complaint against you.

Understand: playing a Head of Staff is a privilege. It is a duty accepted willingly, and with it comes responsibilities. I am sick and tired of watching this idea be burned to the ground by people not understanding that playing a Head of Staff is just slightly more than getting swanky access, and more liberty to do dumb shit. That playing this specific role in a 2D spessmans game might just amount to something sligthly bigger than not being questioned upon judgement calls, and getting to sign forms.

Maybe I've been doing something wrong here, in the grand scheme of things? Too far to figure that one out. So here I am, instead. Think about it, would you? And figure out what you actually want to do about this issue.

[Guest]

Hello, I'm here to revisit this now that I've had some sleep and time to recover from being incredibly embarrassed and irrational.

First I'll address my wild accusation against admin staff, it wasn't valid and came from a place of emotion than fact.

Second: I'm well aware being Head is more than just having extra access. Normally I'm working myself into the ground for my team, and I rarely have any time edgewise for myself. This is one round, smack dab in the middle of dead hour, where I thought I could relax a bit for once and spend some time with my friends since priority was low. I'm afraid being sleepy led me to straight attempting to make an example of Ballard instead of attempting to talk to him, which is something I do first.

Every round since the weekend started I've had to robust some psycho who lets the slimes into the main hall, explodes the Toxins room or puts on a space suit and smashes the windows of the maintenance corridors for no reason. I'm afraid that after several days of failing my lab for not taking extreme measures sooner makes me react to extreme measures stronger later on.

Science has consistently performed best at the quota events, and even covers the quotas not meant for their own department. This is largely in due to my core team and the direction I've given them. At most times I treat RD as a high responsibility, and here I fucked up. I mean.. knocking the captain's gun from his hand? Flashing and blinding Ballard? Where were these actions even supposed to go? I didn't intend to escape, as I'd already thrown my ID card without being asked.

Edit: To answer more succinctly

1: When I set Ballard to arrest I planned on just having him Beepsky'd and releasing him. My intent was not to have Ballard arrested or hurt only intimidated.

2: A signaller was placed on the door. Faith asked and Lucy granted it. I like to give my team greater control of their lab spaces within the walls. I've found the more their feel in control of their personal lab space, the better they perform. However, I didn't think she'd use it to deny Ballard access and I was never aware that was happening.

3: I had no plan after all hell broke loose. When the Captain said he'd arrest Faith for something that isn't even illegal, I immediately went over board. Throwing my ID, I clearly didn't intend to escape. Kill people? Definitely not. I did however keep Faith from being jailed by making a bigger threat of myself. I can't say for sure if that was really my intention, I got pretty hot headed and knee jerk after that.

[hivefleetchicken]

Siiiiigh.

Okay - I'm not staff and if I don't have the right to do this, feel free to delete my post.

But I would like to, well... Make a point here. To Seven Ghost.

I do in fact view this behavior as self-antagging, and if not that, then chucklefucking.

From what I hear from both parties - Skull and Seven Ghost mainly - there was very little reason for Seven Ghost or Lucy Sparks to send a robot with an electric baton that can realistically kill someone if not handled carefully after a guy because he got in a simple workplace argument with someone.

Before:

You have been called out for this sort of behavior - taking something that doesn't warrant violence and then throwing grenades at it - and banned for it before. When you were first complained about, you begged for a chance to fix your ways and change things for the good. Take it easy. That sort of stuff. You then joined the same day and bombed security and robotics with knockout gas. You were then banned for a later incident, I believe, and made a similar pledge to change this behavior ONCE AGAIN. Your ban was lifted. And now we're here, ONCE AGAIN, too. I shouldn't include this, but I will, because I feel passionate about it. I am disappointed with you on an actually personal level at this point. I felt respected by you on your appeal, you considered my point of view, promised to finally change it.

And now this. Trying to steal a Captain's lethal firearm to avoid a situation as minor as going to the brig for ten minutes. You can most certainly behave better than that.

While it's still not that bad of behavior once, on your last accepted appeal from when you were banned from Research for self-antagging, you pledged to fix your self-antagonistic habits by, and I quote,

1) A simple and resolute pledge to refrain from self-antag behavior.

2) If I'm ever at a loss as to if my particular course of action is self-antagging I'm going to ahelp ask the server staff, grey areas most of all

3) I'm going to pace myself in Command roles, monitor my stress levels and take breaks if I've observed myself giving in to irrationality.

I'd like to simply ask if, once again, you have even considered the things you've written in your appeals, since you didn't the last time you were complained about, which led to your job ban when you joined the same day and did the same things you were complained about for. You were brought back when admitting to follow a new policy to avoid certain behavior, and you showed zero signs of following those even now.

I am actually going to ask that your newest reflections be disregarded at this point. I don't know how many times it would have had to take for you to learn your lesson, but you clearly aren't considering what any of us, or what you even are saying or pretending to want to change.

I'm sorry to sound so cruel. But you have shown zero consideration on your last two threads of the consequences ahead, and have completely disregarded what you've promised to change. Whatever you're trying to do isn't working, and I personally think you need to take some time off from research. Forcefully, that is, since the last time you said you would you blatantly lied and came back and (of course) self-antagged.

I've said what I want to say. And I can't assure you that I'll believe what you respond to me with, as you've shown very little honesty with me and the playerbase at this point.

Once Again. Sorry. I don't know how this post will be reacted to, and it could end very poorly for my reputation for saying something as, well, fiery as this, but it's what I believe in and I'm not going to refrain from saying it at this point in time.

[Tainavaa]

It's bad, yeah, and I'm well aware.

 

Not an excuse I am willing to accept, not anymore. There are a good few issues that the character has been presented with, and that have been overlooked for one reason or another.

For me, the display of incompetence, favouritism and outright failure to serve the IC and OOC responsibility that the privilege of playing a Head of Staff presents you with is enough to make me maintain this complaint against you.

Understand: playing a Head of Staff is a privilege. It is a duty accepted willingly, and with it comes responsibilities. I am sick and tired of watching this idea be burned to the ground by people not understanding that playing a Head of Staff is just slightly more than getting swanky access, and more liberty to do dumb shit. That playing this specific role in a 2D spessmans game might just amount to something sligthly bigger than not being questioned upon judgement calls, and getting to sign forms.

Maybe I've been doing something wrong here, in the grand scheme of things? Too far to figure that one out. So here I am, instead. Think about it, would you? And figure out what you actually want to do about this issue.

 

Is this a trend you've noticed with Tina? There are two things I've been spoken to about Tina as a head of staff - Her age, and the bullshit with Daniela. I've very often been called to resolve issues in other departments, to which I tended to when I could - that or got another head of staff to tend to them when I was busy. What I'm getting from this post is that you notice Tina behaving this way very often, which is something I'm going to have to disagree with for sure.

You've never really hidden the fact that you had iffy views on Tina as a character before, so if her lackadaisical mentality is only going to cause issues then I'll play her how I played her when I first got whitelisted; professional, serious, stoic.

[Guest]

Well if that's all the questions for me then that's all I have to say for now.

Make of it what you will, but if I'm going to be banned I ask for it to be from command.

I am not fond of other command roles and they're no loss to me, the only thing I prize is RD. I'll be frank though, my run has clearly been controversial no matter which angle you come at it from. If I'm to be a prodigal Director then so be it but please don't take Science from me, that's all I ask.

Its very evident that these complaints will be endless as long as I continue to hold a command position. I'd rather not deal with any more of these threads and I'm sure its the same for everyone else. Consider this a formal resignation, because I think that's what best for myself at this point. When I'm RD I stretch myself across so many channels and projects and supply requests and team supervision, management (not to mention when I'm the only Command staff aboard) that I end up burning myself out. I get stressed after having to fire griefers and maniacs and I start to act crazier, even in further rounds.

I can't handle the stress and clearly people can't handle my reactions to it, so I take full responsibility in this incident and respectfully step away from Head Roles Whitelist.

[Frances]

This is a tough call for anyone to make. However, after reading everyone's posts and getting a good understanding of the situation, I believe Seven's behavior falls under self-antagging more than anything else, and as such, a jobban or whitelist strip would simply be putting a bandaid on a much bigger issue.

Jobbans are for problematic behavior displayed regarding a specific job; powergaming with science equipment, constantly hulking as a geneticist, doing a terrible job in security, etc. And head strips are for people who cannot behave themselves in a way that is becoming of a head. This is neither of that, this is just... stupid.

No character should attempt to "ghetto-arrest" another because they're mad at them (you're in a controlled and regulated workplace, what do you think is going to happen?), or make a move for your direct superior's service weapon, again because you're pissed (bad, bad, bad.) As for the reason why this happens, I believe you mentioned some sort of combination of IC/OOC emotions affecting judgement. In the end, that's for you to figure out.

Meanwhile, I'm tempted to file this under self-antagging. And because it's really not the first time, and as hive pointed out, we have had discussions about this before, it will carry some sort of consequence. I'll simply wait for another staffmember to validate/weight in on my opinion before pronouncing myself.

 

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As for Tina/Tainavaa, I'd like to issue a reminder that while leniency is not bad in itself, and you certainly don't have to play every head role as a ruthless rules-lawyer, excessive coddling of your staff, to the point of shirking your duties (or your department's) is not a good thing. A change of attitude would be welcome at this point - Tina needs to know she needs to keep a better control over her staff if she expects to remain at the top of the science department.

[Tainavaa]

I only play Tina as Head of Personnel/Chief Medical Officer in head positions. Medical Doctor if not.

She doesn't coddle her staff; she's very open to them and treats them as equals. The thing about not coming down on the staff she knows more well on a NORMAL basis, is that when the medical staff fucks up that she recognizes as friends, she DOES tell them that they fucked up and a verbal reprimand is usually enough for them to say "Alright. It won't happen again." and the issue is resolved ICly. There's no reason to go down on her friends when they listen to her after they fuck up. They don't speak to her as if she doesn't know anything, they don't demand to perform unnecessary surgeries (see: voluntary appendectomy), or use medical grenades. They ask, they might jokingly insist (but really they mean it), but they won't disregard and try anyway. I see absolutely no reason to assert myself on those that I recognize as responsible and trustworthy.

Regarding the incident in science and Tina's passive behavior, she was HOP that round. I had Tina very insecure about her personal relationships due to the bullshit with Daniela, which is why for a little while she HAD to have Runtime at her side at all times. She was still able to perform her job, albeit with a hotter head, and when friends were involved in questionable situations such as that one. I thought it was fine roleplay, but there's a big enough issue with it that it that there's an OOC complaint. I just want to have fun. If someone's against it THAT much, then so be it. It'll be scrapped.

[Guest]

Let's just skip the runaround, I don't want to deal with this or any of you anymore.

I respectfully request a permanent ban.

[Skull132]

Tainavaa, had I not made this complaint, would you have done anything about the situation in question, and how it played out?

[Tainavaa]

Tainavaa, had I not made this complaint, would you have done anything about the situation in question, and how it played out?

 

No because as I said, I thought it was fine. I still think it is.

[EvilBrage]

In my opinion, behavior like this really stems from the fact that IC behavior can be retconned at the will of the player. That is, they will never suffer the consequences of their actions because if any action does result in consequence, you can say "lol didn't happen" and the world keeps on turning. So when we have people constantly "getting away" with things, we eventually breed a culture in which doing these things that would normally get you fired becomes okay. Think about it - in real life, if you intentionally smash a window at your place of employment, chances are pretty good that you're getting fired. If you intentionally smash a window on Aurora, you'll get ten minutes in the brig for vandalism, at worst. However, there's really not a very good alternative to this beyond having administrators themselves decide whether or not a disciplinary action is canon (which, obviously, would take forever.)

Seven - I can understand wanting to make someone's life extremely difficult, and I've found that the best way to go about this is paperwork. If you're the research director, force them to sign a form for every single article they create with the protolathe. Make them sign a waiver of some sort, or make your own free-form document as a method to get back at them. An example for you: a roboticist decided it would be a swell idea to pop an MMI into a mech because it was his friend, despite my director's orders to the contrary a shift before. I have a number of options here:

1) I can use the robotics console to EMP-blast the mech and tell security to arrest the roboticist.

2) I can force the roboticist to sign a form that states that he will serve time for all crimes committed by the mech, in addition to neglect of duty charges.

Your most powerful weapon of vengeance as a head of staff isn't the cool Lawgiver you can make with the protolathe, or the telescopic baton; if you want to make someone's life miserable, your best weapon is your authority. Stooping to illicit modification of arrest records or locking people out of rooms is only going to make you look bad, both ICly and OOCly. On the other hand - anyone who comes to the complaint board about how much paperwork they had to do is out of their mind and probably going to be laughed at, and that makes you look good. Who cares if they're the captain? Now they have a potential "exceeding official powers" charge to stare down, and what happens after that, you ask?

Fun.

[Tainavaa]

I'm retconning because this was made to be an OOC issue, not left IC.

[Frances]

I'm pretty much in full agreement with Brage.

However, players should be mindful of their conduct, especially if their repeated shenanigans result in more annoyance than actually interesting situations. Because there is one boss their characters have to answer to.

Us.

We're more lenient than an actual employer, because we do want to let people experiment and push the limits if they think they can do something interesting with them. And the main judging criteria we're observing isn't how realistic this is compared to real-life behavior, but how much fun it is for other players to let this go on.

But sometimes it isn't. Sometimes a gross disregard of workplace rules, when maintained consistently, is more annoying and immersion-breaking than it is conductive to interesting roleplay. And that is when we will ask you to stop.

[Reyjakai]

If I can just chime in on this, I feel like I have a fair bit to say on this as a person who does a /lot/ of stupid shit a lot of the time. I've been working on trying to be better at it, but it takes time. Everybody does stupid stuff when they get tired, and I had the same expectation as Seven Ghost had when they were on dead hour; that nobody would care because nobody was on. Clearly that is not the case, which is something that I, and hopefully Seven Ghost, understand.

I will say, however, that if not for admin intervention, I very likely would still be doing incredibly stupid stuff and have been banned by now. Your intervention helps more than you think it does. Talking through an issue makes me a better player and makes me think more about my issues before doing them.

With that said, I very much enjoy playing with Seven Ghost as the RD. It's one of the main reasons that I stuck with science instead of medical. Everybody makes mistakes, it's just up to you to decide how much you want that to overshadow how much you enjoy having them in the game with you. I've got no intention of telling you how to do your job, but some people who make an effort should definitely get a shot. Think about who you're willing to invest your time into and stick with it.

[Guest]

I've had time to really step back and take stock of the situation and chill out and I'm not leaving the server or requesting to be banned. I had my chance for that one and the ship has sailed. Now that I'm stick around though I feel like its necessary to explain a few things I've been holding back out of embarrassment of airing my personal business, but I think its caused too many problems to keep to myself.

As you can see from my responses, my emotional state is all over the place. As it happens, I take a lot of medication for that. I'm sure I'm no unique case on that particular matter here, but what's changed is that since my medical coverage from the state I moved from has officially expired and I'm self employed working stagecraft and entertainment. Since its pretty expensive to cover the mix of amphetamines and mood stabilizers I'm prescribed out of pocket, I haven't been in a great state of mind and thus I haven't been sleeping much at all. When I can't sleep, I act a lot crazier than usual.

I learned a long time ago that being unmedicated doesn't grant me immunity for my behavior, and in fact it seems to make me unfit for Command. That I accept willingly, as well as any other Science based positions you might consider as well. The situation is temporarily remedied in that I'm getting some help to cover costs by some friends, but its not a permanent situation or solution and it could come up again.

You might not guess it if the majority of your interactions with me have been through these forum posts, but I value the server, community and most of the crew here. I apologize for the hurt and loss of respect my erratic behavior has caused. I want everyone to know I'm moving on to other positions and characters where I've shown to have less of an issue with and I look forward to roleplaying with all of you again.