Mission Report: Operation Sprinkles

[hivefleetchicken]

It was a usual day in security. All available officers were patrolling when a parcel was discovered in brig equipment, sent from cargo.

At the bottom of a pile of cigarettes, drinks and peppersprays was a note that read:

The officers were quick to react, setting up a plan to reward cargo for its pleasant contribution to the force.

Our agents decided that secrecy was of utmost importance to this operation, and to properly reward cargo, the cake package would have to be presented as a surprise.

The confectionary secrecy was set up to ensure an airtight operation with no possible chances of compromisation.

Plus a hot CCIA babe who clearly wants to hold hands with the warden was totally into this plan.

Contact was established with independent operator "Giftbringer", the agent who would supply the package for delivery.

Giftbringer had to be left out of the dark to ensure confidentiality and security in the execution of the operation, which posed a great threat if they perhaps misunderstood the confidentiality of the package's recipient. Nonetheless, trust was placed in Giftbringer's hands to successfully procure and transfer the package.

Cargo certainly could not be informed, and had to be distracted if seen talking to the chef Giftbringer about the gift.

Panic began to sink in as a cargo technician approached the chef and began conversing with them. Agents Charlie-1 and Charlie-2 became hysterical.

A distraction was formed to throw off the possible contacts in the area of Operation Sprinkles.

A batch of enchiladas served as a brutally effective distraction force as our agents diverted attention from the cake being made in plain sight.

However, disaster struck, and when the package was finished, according to reports, the chef began to fuck it.

This report was corrected in that the chef had actually just messed the package up and had to start over. Nonetheless, emergency peacekeeping units had already been scrambled to the area to keep order.

The AO was a battlefield. Dough and icing everywhere, officers scared and confused.

There were cargo patrols everywhere. Our operatives barely managed to avoid being compromised by the enemy contacts.

On edge, our officers began to crumble in maintaining their secrecy. Strict discipline was all that held the unit together as they awaited good news deep behind enemy lines.

Then the Captain showed up and told everyone to get back to work.

Charlie-1 was told to search the morgue, and was pronounced KIA upon his inability to complete the mission as told by a brutal first-person account from an operative in the field:

He had to be left behind.

However our final remaining unit managed to secure the package and bring it to the brig.

Preparations were made for a final deployment in order to deliver the package to cargo. After a rousing speech, the brave men and women of Operation Sprinkles leapt into action.

A song of choice was decided upon, "Happy Birthday to You", due to a lack of a better option.

The officers made their way to cargo with the package in tow.

They arrived shortly, and the following shocking footage was recorded: (WARNING, UNEDITED LEAKED SECURITY FOOTAGE, VIEW AT OWN RISK)

After a long and hard fight, our brave officers were debriefed and shared their parting words with one another.

The end.

[rankdiRty]

My dream has come true, I'm in a hall of fame post :'^)

[Shadow]

The most beautiful thing I have read in ages

[NoahKirchner]

That happy birthday was about as coordinated as happy birthdays are irl. Everyone's at a different part of the song and there's that one guy trying too hard.

This was hilarious.

[Scheveningen]

Post of the year.

[AllyBearsley]

Blessed post. Blessed operation. May Security continue to grow in the spirit of fun loving adventures, and may many more operations of similar importance as Operation Sprinkles be carried out for the good of the station.

I salute you brave officers

 

[Resilynn]

Ahhhhhh! This was the funniest thing ever!

What was better was that Ellie had a bottle of happy pills in her pocket. She gave one to the chemist to analyze so she knew whether to just throw them away or to report them to the HoS.

So when you all came in she was 100000% convinced you guys were tipped off by the chemist that she had drugs, which were not hidden AT ALL.

You nearly gave her a heart attack, but instead you gave her a cake.

[rankdiRty]

So when you all came in she was 100000% convinced you guys were tipped off by the chemist that she had drugs, which were not hidden AT ALL. [/qI h

I had already gone to the braindead chemist and (tried to) talked to him and determined that there was no reason to bother you lmao

and fuck i cant figure out this quotes thing god