[Accepted]Allybearsley Skrell App

[AllyBearsley]

BYOND Key: AllyBearsley

Character Names: Francis Martonis (Miner turning Engineer, currently on medical leave working as gardener), Sheila Mortiz (works civilian sector), THRIVE (Garden IPC), S.A.K.E (Service Assistant IPC), KESA (Xenobiolology IPC) and a few others I’ve barely played right now.

Species you are applying to play: Skrell

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Blue

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes.

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

To me the Skrell are the most interesting alien race, despite the snarling of most Unathi mains. I find their civilization and history very interesting. They have been around for a very long time. When other civilizations were really conquering their worlds, the Skrell were colonizing the stars. A connection to this history in some way fascinates me. The fact they are not physically imposing but are instead quite intelligent. They focus on science and logic as opposed to dreaming, but they are not emotionless or cold. They have existed for a long time and have achieved so much. They still sit on a high seat of power in the galaxy.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

The Skrell have been around much longer than humanity or the other races, and have held a seat of power almost the entire time. They have disdain/mistrust of synthetics due to the Glorsh rebellion. Humans might see this as holding onto the past, but it makes sense for a Skrell who understands their history to dislike the widespread use and growth of synthetics. Skrell also have a hard time conveying emotions in the common human languages and this can cause some communication or understanding issues.

 

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Character Name: Ker’los Dyroshi

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Ker'los is a young Skrell still attending university on Mendell. His family has lived on Mendell for almost two decades before Ker'los was conceived. They worked with NT as Phoron researchers. Though not extraordinary, they basically put their life into their job. One day Ker'los’s parents decided to undergo the costly surgeries and treatments for the chance of having a child. It was successful and Ker'los has grown into a healthy Skrell.

Ker'los has been sheltered most of his life. He has attended all Skrell private schools, and his interaction with other species is very minimal. Despite studies and his parents help, Ker'los is very confused when around other species. He has learned to hide this confusion well under a layer of dedication to his work. Ker’los understands what his parents went through to have him born. He studies hard and has a goal of becoming the best in his field.

Having a fondness for plants, Ker’los has taken to studying in the field of Xenobotany. In all honesty, he would be fine working as a simple gardener. It is the fact his family are both distinguished scientists that made him feel he must work in the scientific field. He keeps a number of potted plants around his dorm and will always look to help those who wish to learn how to care for plants. He has a strong handle of basic plant care, but in the realm of Xenobotany, he still has some to learn.

What do you like about this character?

Ker’los feels he is living under his parents’ shadows and has a fear he will never be worth the treatments his parents took. It bothers him deeply, but he is able to push on and aim to achieve greatness despite this feeling of inadequacy. He also will be a socially awkward young Skrell, who doesn’t yet have a grasp of the social norms other species take for granted.

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

I hate number scores. I think I usually RP decent to good, but I admit I fall flat some days.

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Notes: I’ve been sitting on this whitelist for sometime now. My activity on the server has been pretty sporadic these last few months. I hope this isn’t an issue with the whitelist, but I completely understand if it is. This semester has been very busy for me. Things are just now winding down where I can see myself catching more rounds per week. Also something just doesn't sit right with me about the app and no amount of rewrites or edits put me at ease. I'm going ahead and posting it to see what others think and how to improve!

Any and all feedback would be appreciated.

Edited November 16, 2017 by Guest

[Dragonspare]

First and foremost, with the obligatory REEE:

"To me the Skrell are the most interesting alien race, despite the snarling of most Unathi mains."

-Allybearsley

 

Now that we have that out of the way, the real review: There are several things that i like from this character. For starters, his parents, they're not horribly pushy or abusive - Ker'los just feels intimidated by their feats and wants to be at their level, maybe his parents don't really meant the whole intimidation in the first point.

This whole "i have to make my parents proud" motivation is a bit weird, but accomplishes what it should, pushing a character always onwards to be a better worker/person. And it doesn't leaves the character stagnated in a spot, as he'll always strive to make his parents even more proud, at the same time exposing himself to these other intelligent lifeforms that he hasn't really interacted too much.

Not a lot more to say. All and all, it's a backstory that fills enough about a character's information and leaves it open for the player to evolve this new character in any way they wish to.

+1 from me! I trust that Ally can take this concept somewhere interesting enough for other players to interact with this new squid boy.

Bonus track: Mistype

"Ker’leb understands what his parents went through to have him born. He studies hard and has a goal of becoming the best in his field."

[AllyBearsley]

In the month(s) I've been sitting on this app, I've changed the name around 3 times. I could have sworn I double checked to ensure I had the proper name listed this time. Either way I have fixed the naming issue. And I want his parents to be a pleasant duo, and I want if they are actually pressuring him or if it's all in his head to be a thing that is learned through experiences with him.

Thanks for the feedback man.

[Loow]

Hey there. Loow here.

Let's hit the ground running. I would like to have some back-and-forth with the applicant before this weekend's out. Ideally, the applicant would respond as soon as possible. This would give us more time to communicate. We've had a recent influx of Skrell applications, and I find change to be scary. If we're having a sudden influx of accepted applications, then it's likely I'm slipping.

It's time to be critical again.

 

Also something just doesn't sit right with me about the app and no amount of rewrites or edits put me at ease. I'm going ahead and posting it to see what others think and how to improve!

Any and all feedback would be appreciated.

You want feedback. I'm happy to hear it. Sometimes people assume they're going to get a whitelist just for filling out an application, and that typically makes it tough for them when and if it gets denied. I'm glad that you realize that there's always room for improvement. I hope this helps you.

Let's talk about the biography and your character design for Ky'los Dyroshi.

There are some problems to point out and comments to be made.

As always, I recognize that grammar is hard. Nobody is perfect. English isn't everyone's first language. Etc.

That said, applications largely depend on the applicant's writing ability. It's better to be noticeably good than noticeably bad or average. Applying for a species is your chance to show off.

 

Ker'los is a young Skrell still attending university on Mendell. His family has lived on Mendell for almost a century for Ker'los was conceived. They worked with NT as Phoron researchers. Though not extraordinary, they basically put their life into their job. One day Ker'los’s parents decided to undergo the costly surgeries and treatments for the chance of having a child. It was successful and Ker'los has grown into a healthy Skrell.

"His family has lived on Mendell for almost a century for Ker'los was conceived." I think you meant to type "before" here.

If that's the case, then let's examine a possible issue or misunderstanding. Skrell and Humanity had first contact in 2413 CE. It is currently 2459 CE. That's about 46 years from the two species discovering one another to now. They couldn't have lived on Biesel (Remember: "Mendell" is Mendell City, a city on the planet Biesel.) for anywhere close to a century yet. Let alone a century before their Ker'los' conception. This is a pretty worrying miscommunication. I'm glad it was caught here rather than on the station.

 

Ker'los has been sheltered most of his life. He has attended all Skrell private schools, and his interaction with other species is very minimal. Despite studies and his parents help, Ker'los is very confused when around other species. He has learned to hide this confusion well under a layer of dedication to his work. Ker’los understands what his parents went through to have him born. He studies hard and has a goal of becoming the best in his field.

I find it a little strange that this application goes out of its way to say that Ker'los is from Mendell City (a pretty diverse place which was founded by Humans) only to isolate him away from other species. Saying that any non-human could be "sheltered" from other species in Mendell City is a little confusing. Didn't his parents live there for a while before he was born? Why would they go out of their way to make sure that he isn't around Humans if they liked humans enough to move there in the first place?

I do like the bit you mention about how "He has learned to hide this confusion well under a layer of dedication to his work." It shows some level of insight into the character's personality.

 

Ker’los feels he is living under his parents’ shadows and has a fear he will never be worth the treatments his parents took. It bothers him deeply, but he is able to push on and aim to achieve greatness despite this feeling of inadequacy. He also will be a socially awkward young Skrell, who doesn’t yet have a grasp of the social norms other species take for granted.

This section also sheds some light on Ker'los as a person, and I'm happy it's there.

Dragonspare left you some pretty good feedback, and you wrote a pretty good response. I'm happy that they thought critically about your character design and weren't afraid to point out flaws. I'm happy that your response gave us more insight into your character design. I suggest you continue to advertise the app to get more feedback and continue to consider it like you did with Dragonspare's comments. (Remember: You can post a link to your Application once per round in the station's OOC chat!)

I want to keep this application open for at least a few more days in the hopes that you get more feedback, continue to have a discussion about your application/character design/previous rp, and hopefully enjoy the writing process. Whether this application gets denied or accepted, I want to at least get the feeling that you gained something from the experience.

[AllyBearsley]

[mention]Loow[/mention]

Hey thanks for checking out my app and giving me some feedback. Sorry about the mess-up with the dates. I'm pretty bad with dates all things considered and that was an oversight on my part. I wanted to push they were longtime citizens to Mendell and long lived Skrell I have changed the portion of the app to now say:

His family has lived on Mendell for almost two decades before Ker'los was conceived.

 

Now moving onto:

I find it a little strange that this application goes out of its way to say that Ker'los is from Mendell City (a pretty diverse place which was founded by Humans) only to isolate him away from other species. Saying that any non-human could be "sheltered" from other species in Mendell City is a little confusing. Didn't his parents live there for a while before he was born? Why would they go out of their way to make sure that he isn't around Humans if they liked humans enough to move there in the first place?

 

By him being sheltered I didn't mean he has no contact with other species. That would be impossible. I simply meant that he had mostly interacted with Skrell. His parents are Skrell, they trust Skrell more and want what is best for their child. He is Skrell and gravitates toward staying around Skrell more than others. It is a bit of discrimination against other species on him and his family. They aren't openly racist or anything like that, they are just bias to their own species.

They live on Mendell because it is a nice place to live while working for NT. However, if it is believed moving them somewhere else would be more beneficial I would love to hear advice on where.

Now for the advertising the app more. I posted this app last week thinking, "Wow I don't have too much to do this week, and I should be able to get on and play some this weekend so I'll have plenty of time to advertise." Then I got pretty busy and sick last week, then was unable to get on my computer properly for the weekend due to visiting family away from my apartment. This week is looking to be fairly busy as well, but I should be able to get a couple rounds for the next couple of days. I'll try to get my app out there more, but with how my schedule likes to go nuts I can't make promises.

I know my activity fluctuates a lot. University likes to throw curve balls and sometimes I just don't have interest in playing even when I do have time. If my activity being this way is a problem and/or I don't get the feedback you feel is best for the app, I will completely understand it not getting accepted. I'll take what I've learned from the app, work on it some more, and hopefully get it out when I really have time to play the game again.

Thanks again for the feedback Loow!

[Alberyk]

To me the Skrell are the most interesting alien race, despite the snarling of most Unathi mains.

 

What the fuck did you just fucking ssssay about me, you little tressshbeasst? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my classsss in the unathi breacher sssquad, and I’ve been involved in numerousss sssecret raidsss on frontier, and I have over 300 confirmed killssss. I am trained in thressshbeassst warfare and I’m the top breacher in the entire Hegemony navy. You are nothing to me but jussst another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precissssion the likesss of which hasss never been sssseen before on thisss ssspace, mark my fucking wordssss. You think you can get away with ssssaying that sssshit to me over the extranet? Think again, fucker. As we sssspeak I am contacting my ssssecret network of sssspiesss acrossss the sssspace and your IP issss being traced right now so you better prepare for the sssstorm, dog. The sssstorm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, human. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over ssssseven hundred ways, and that’ssss just with my bare clawssss. Not only am I extenssssively trained in unarmed combat, but I have accesssss to the entire arssssenal of the hegemony navy and I will usssse my ssssixten inchesss to itssss full extent to wipe your misssserable asssss off the face of the sssspace, you little sssshit. If only you could have known what ancessstral retribution your little “clever” comment wassss about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking two inchessss tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn hatchling. I will sssshit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, human.

 

 

Anyway, Allybearsley is a great roleplayer and I believe he could roleplay a member of the skrell species without any issue. Most of my interactions were with Francis and Sheila, they are really pleasant to roleplay with and are believable characters in the setting proposed by the game, both in their reactions and backstories.

+1

[AllyBearsley]

To me the Skrell are the most interesting alien race, despite the snarling of most Unathi mains.

 

What the fuck did you just fucking ssssay about me, you little tressshbeasst? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my classsss in the unathi breacher sssquad, and I’ve been involved in numerousss sssecret raidsss on frontier, and I have over 300 confirmed killssss. I am trained in thressshbeassst warfare and I’m the top breacher in the entire Hegemony navy. You are nothing to me but jussst another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precissssion the likesss of which hasss never been sssseen before on thisss ssspace, mark my fucking wordssss. You think you can get away with ssssaying that sssshit to me over the extranet? Think again, fucker. As we sssspeak I am contacting my ssssecret network of sssspiesss acrossss the sssspace and your IP issss being traced right now so you better prepare for the sssstorm, dog. The sssstorm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, human. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over ssssseven hundred ways, and that’ssss just with my bare clawssss. Not only am I extenssssively trained in unarmed combat, but I have accesssss to the entire arssssenal of the hegemony navy and I will usssse my ssssixten inchesss to itssss full extent to wipe your misssserable asssss off the face of the sssspace, you little sssshit. If only you could have known what ancessstral retribution your little “clever” comment wassss about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking two inchessss tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn hatchling. I will sssshit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, human.

 

 

Anyway, Allybearsley is a great roleplayer and I believe he could roleplay a member of the skrell species without any issue. Most of my interactions were with Francis and Sheila, they are really pleasant to roleplay with and are believable characters in the setting proposed by the game, both in their reactions and backstories.

+1

 

That is one of the best replies I've ever seen Alb and I'm saving it forever!

I appreciate the feedback and work hard to at least make my chars believable. Though I feel I fail to properly emote with my chars, I am really trying to improve. Also Faysal is absolutely Sheila's fav HoP due to how many crazies he's chased out of her kitchen, and probably Francis's too just because Faysal responds and is willing to help the idiot out.

[Butterrobber202]

+1 don’t even know All bear that well, but I’ve yet to hear a negative thing about them. The App has some neat answers. Pretty sure this dude can handle warbling.

[AllyBearsley]

+1 don’t even know All bear that well, but I’ve yet to hear a negative thing about them. The App has some neat answers. Pretty sure this dude can handle warbling.

 

Aw thanks dude! I'm glad nothing negative has circulated, but I developed a pretty bad attitude problem for a bit and it really only affected certain people. I'm working on readjusting and being better overall. Don't want to be a dick to specific people.

Anyway, I'm glad my answers pleased, and yeah I don't think we've RP'd or been around each other that often. I won't even lie, for a while you really annoyed me and I avoided you. Then one day you started acting way better and I now have no problem at all being around you. So maybe one day our chars will actually meet and have a great time!

[Brutishcrab51]

I personally don't see any issue with Allybearsley having a Skrell character. He can handle the position well, has versed himself in the lore, and plays a number of respectable characters (Martonis, in regards to my interactions) to prove he has the ability to take the whitelist seriously.

This is an easy +1.

[AllyBearsley]

I personally don't see any issue with Allybearsley having a Skrell character. He can handle the position well, has versed himself in the lore, and plays a number of respectable characters (Martonis, in regards to my interactions) to prove he has the ability to take the whitelist seriously.

This is an easy +1.

 

Hey thanks for the feedback! Glad you like Martonis. He quickly became my main after putting him in mining on the Exodus. I feel I've neglected a lot of characters I made to play and character ideas I want to try out, just to try developing Marty more. Now that I'm getting a bit more free time I'm running with more chars and getting to experience more of the station.

Kalren has proven to be a decent HoS. I mean in my experience most HoS's are either alright in my book (though possibly valid hunty that I can't notice because I just avoid antags) or ballbusting/no fun allowed. Kalren has been alright, though sadly I don't fully recall many interactions with him. I will work to change that if at all possible, but I do generally play my characters as people who treat Heads with a lot of respect and avoids just talking to them while on duty, unless necessary. Maybe I should work on just catching Heads more often when things are quiet and trying to meet them more often. Grow the network!

[Exia]

+1 Ally's a good RPer and the character's backstory seems interesting. I think he takes his RP rather seriously from past interactions and feel that he can definitely be trusted to play this new race.

[Loow]

Good to see this app got more feedback!

I'll keep this response short since I already bothered Ally with some feedback earlier in the app. From the looks of things, people seem confident that Ally can handle a Skrell whitelist.

I'm looking forward to seeing how you portray a local fish out of water. I think it's about time for Ker’los Dyroshi to jump onto the station.

Application Accepted.

 

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