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Punching stuff

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I like to pretend I know Krav Maga because I saw it in a videogame and watched a few youtube videos on technique. Does that count?


In reality I'm as soft as a marshmallow, with low punching power and a gut that hangs over my pants. I always wanted to learn martial arts, but then I made an extremely important discovery: I'm a lazy sumbitch.

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I used to do Karate, I was a green belt at my highest point but then left for various reasons. Now? I can probably punch/kick someone but I don't exactly have technique.

My personal favourite? Just smack 'em with the butt of the rifle. AKA the Cadet/Soldier/Riflemans kiss. :P

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I have gone to Judo training when I was fifteen.. Only for a year though... And then went to Kendo training when I was eighteen. That lasted three years, before I finally moved to another country..

None of them are really punching stuff though. One of them is throwing people around, the other one is beating a crap out of someone with a bamboo stick.

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I like to pretend I know Krav Maga because I saw it in a videogame


I actually know Krav Maga!

Started with training in the military and then expanded to y'know, me paying someone to teach me it. It's incredibly awesome I qualified up to Black E-II before Y'know, medical stuff halted my interest in it.

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I wrassle, and that's about it. Only went 7-5 this season because I sprained my elbow and well, wrasslin' with a sprained elbow for a month will end up with you having to see a doctor. Basically, the swelling in my elbow got so bad that it was pushing my ulnar nerve (the funny bone, I guess) up, and well, sensory overload. It wasn't that I lost strength in the arm, but that the signals my brain was sending through the nerve to bend my elbow weren't getting through completely. That, and I had a bicep strain during the pre-season. Overall, it was one of the most grueling four months of my life.

Still can't wait for next season.

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Guest Marlon Phoenix

I took Okinawan Kenpo classes when I was like 14~15 and got 2nd place in a state championship but then I just stopped going and got really lazy.

I can deflect punches and remember the most basic-ass techniques but other than that I don't really punch anyone.

I've tried to get into fencing, though, cuz swordplay is fuckin' cool.

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