Complaint on Stev - rule 1 violations

[Marlon P.]

BYOND Key: MarlonPhoenix

 

Game ID: Lore_general discord.

 

Player Byond Key/Character name: Stev.

 

Staff involved: Alberyk.

 

Reason for complaint: Rule 1 violation. I've been reacting to posts with pride flags for pride month to celebrate, during a time in my country where our community is facing growing danger. This has been getting some people annoyed, which ive been critical od but also toning it down to just be every now and then until moderators told me to stop entirely, which i accepted after asking for alternatives. I accepted staff decisions even while being critical of it and saying how it made me feel, as a gay man, to be told to stop expressing pride during pride month.

When it was all resolved by discord moderation staff, which I forgot loredevs were nowadays, Stev @'d me to draw me into a fight with confrontational language. They then used abusive behavior to belittle and demean me, talking about my misbehavior, saying I'm playing the victim, etc, and it seemed like I was supposed to feel beneath them. Please see:

"I'm sorry but it's not on me when you refuse to not be shitty and continually disregard other people then play the victim game when someone calls you out on it."

They used goading and blame to upset me, and when I responded, they pinned the blame back on me for being sensitive and incompetent.

I recognized these behaviors as signs of abuse using the following definitions.

https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse#accusing-blaming-and-denial

This is after accusing me of only pretending to care about pride month as a way to steamroll over queer people. They asked me to stop but I did not want to, and they apparently took offense at not being able to control what I'm doing in a public discord. Only moderation staff is permitted to do that. Stev has no right to tell me what i can or cant do, nor am I expected to tailor what i do in public servers to their personal preferences.

I told them how they were talking to me was sounding like they were being abusive, and how they were being mean. I stopped enaging and was trying to tell them how their behavior was bothering me.

Edit: im going to preempt the accusation by saying im not complaining about someone being critical of what I was doing. A few people were and we disagreed about it. Stev is the only one that broke the rules in how they treated me.

Did you attempt to adminhelp the issue at the time? If so, what was the known action taken by administration/moderation? 

Alberyk said to stop, and that both sides were having a pissfight. I don't feel this was enough because I was the one being @'d, and stev went out of their way to go after me for a resolved problem. It violated rule 1.

 

also im on mobile. Im sorry if the logs post out of order

Approximate Date/Time: ~3:20pm CST.

Edited June 17, 2022 by Marlon P.

[stev]

I mean, I don't know what else there is to say that wasn't said in the thread. I was told to drop this by staff, so I dropped it. I don't want to go against a staff ruling by defending or rehashing my actions here. 

[Garnascus]

3 minutes ago, stev said:

I mean, I don't know what else there is to say that wasn't said in the thread. I was told to drop this by staff, so I dropped it. I don't want to go against a staff ruling by defending or rehashing my actions here. 

What made you start this to begin with? 

[Garnascus]

For reference this seems to be the start of the altercation. Marlon has been posting some pride flag emojis and you responded like this 

https://discord.com/channels/157516682288562176/289293551454388224/987073307687940166

[stev]

4 minutes ago, Garnascus said:

What made you start this to begin with? 

This has been going on for weeks, every time they join or even just read any discord channel every message gets spam reacted with general LGBTQ+ and trans pride flags. Every time I have had a discussion while Marlon was online to read it has resulted in both my messages and others' reacted to with pride flags, especially reacting to trans players (such as myself) with trans pride flags regardless of content or context. Every time this has happened I have asked Marlon to stop, as it's annoying spam at best and targeted labelling of specific players at worst, to which he's only responded by doubling down and continuing doing so--even reacting to my requests to stop with more pride flag spam, or questioning if I know that it's pride month. After bringing this behaviour up with other community members and Marlon himself many times, he eventually got told to stop spamming it, which he reacted to with the "since it's so divisive I won't celebrate pride within Aurora" post, which to me seemed intentionally over-dramatic and baity given that other queer people have been asking him to stop doing this for weeks already with no change in behaviour. And for disagreeing with this, I'm now being branded a homophobic, abusive piece of garbage and whatever else I'm being accused of here. I just find this whole situation to be completely overblown, and frankly, it was already dealt with by Alb stepping in. 

[stev]

1 minute ago, Garnascus said:

For reference this seems to be the start of the altercation. Marlon has been posting some pride flag emojis and you responded like this 

https://discord.com/channels/157516682288562176/289293551454388224/987073307687940166

I can't find it right now because I've just moved house and only have access to my phone, but 5his has been going on for weeks. I've previously discussed with @Faye <3and others how disrespectful and shitty it feels to have seemingly everything I say reacted to with multiple trans flags for seemingly no reason, asking them to stop reacting like that, then repeatededly disregarded. It's just toxic and shitty behaviour , to be entirely honest, and frankly it's made me look forward to the end of pride so I don't have to to deal with it anymore. 

[Garnascus]

1 minute ago, stev said:

how disrespectful and shitty it feels to have seemingly everything I say reacted to with multiple trans flags for seemingly no reason, asking them to stop reacting like that, then repeatededly disregarded. It's just toxic and shitty behaviour

Ok i can understand you feeling that way but it doesnt give you the right to be rude to marlon. I mean you accused him of being straight and bulldozing queer people. If someone is spamming pride flags you need to contact a staff member to do something about this. Did you ever do this? The PM i see you sent to Faye was not really asking for anything to be done. She said she agreed with you but you did not reply. 

[Marlon P.]

I never targetted pride flags to any specific player. The first day for fun i did it to all messages on all channels.

Then I went to four emojis on screen.

Then just one to three.

Someone was talking about screen space being eaten up so i was doing it less so i went to one.

The only rule i had was to have one pride flag visible somewhere whenever i looked at a chat. All reactions were randomly selected based on whatever message my thumb landed on.

[stev]

Also, I'm physically and emotionally exhausted from moving house out from my partner in the middle of a heatwave in the UK as a physically disabled person, I'm really not fucking thrilled at now having to fight a possible community ban put in place due to apparent "abusive behaviour" for something that was already handled by admins on the discord. I just want to sleep. 

[Marlon P.]

I do admit my final post was dramatic. I was upset with the negativity i was getting and didn't phrase my apology in a more sincere sounding way.

That doesn't justify using abusive language targetting me.

[stev]

2 minutes ago, Garnascus said:

Ok i can understand you feeling that way but it doesnt give you the right to be rude to marlon. I mean you accused him of being straight and bulldozing queer people. If someone is spamming pride flags you need to contact a staff member to do something about this. Did you ever do this? The PM i see you sent to Faye was not really asking for anything to be done. She said she agreed with you but you did not reply. 

I didn't, I haven't had time to engage with the community very xoncsirtnyp recently  and frankly doubted anything would happen, as it seems that whenever someone disagrees with Marlon or addresses their hyper dramatic and incendiary posts something like this happens and their every message is hyperanalysed for "mewnness" despite being reactions to clearly incendiary stuff. I didnt want to raise anything further because I feared a thread like this would be made, which turned out to be a pretty damn accurate fear. 

[Garnascus]

3 minutes ago, stev said:

I'm really not fucking thrilled at now having to fight a possible community ban put in place due to apparent "abusive behaviour" for something that was already handled by admins on the discord. I just want to sleep. 

I do not believe that @Alberyk had the full situation at the time. When we see a fight in discord we dont usually go and search through all the logs to investigate it like an ahelp. We just kinda go "hey knock it off" and then go back to ahelps on the server or whatever else we are doing. I could be wrong of course but given that Alberyk did not have the full picture i dont think he ruled on this particular incident. 

[Marlon P.]

These are more tactics from that website in the OP about emotional abuse.

I feel like theyre using emotional blackmail by taking on the role of a victim when their behavior is being examined, and again they turn it around to add more examples on how i am a bad person -- see post on how i hyperanalyze after making 'overly dramatic and incindierary posts.'

I'm sorry that you're experiencing hardship. I obviously cant fully appreciate your circumstances and i hope it improves.

However nothing going on in our lives justifies taking it out on other people. I don't deserve abuse nor does anyone else.

Edited June 17, 2022 by Marlon P.

[stev]

You don't seem to really have th full picture eekrhr, as this has been going on for weeks across multiple discords, and honestly I don't even know how to search for it, especially i  mobile. Ti's been ramping up like this for weeks and Cael thankfully finally addressed this behaviour, but rbah was reacted to with the really sramated, "can't psot pridue stuff on aauroa" thing ejcij started this whole complaint. 

[stev]

2 minutes ago, Marlon P. said:

These are more tactics from that website. I feel like theyre using emotional blackmail by taking on the role of a victim when their behavior is being examined.

I'm sorry that you're experiencing hardship. I obviously cant fully appreciate your circumstances and i hope it improves.

However nothing going on in our lives justifies taking it out on other people. I don't deserve abuse nor does anyone else.

What fucking. Website??? I don't know what you're talking about I'm doing. Nothing but respojdnitnro you hijstly and straightfot3ardly. 

[stev]

Give me a. Mi ite I need 5o take care of some stuff, I might drop off this threas for a while if I manage to get some goddamn sleep. 

[Garnascus]

Ok i am locking this thread for the time being. I will deliberate with staff and reach a resolution soon. 

[Garnascus]

Ok after discussing this and checking your history i will be applying a warning to your ckey @stev. In the future you need to directly PM any member of the moderation team if you feel a player is engaging in rule breaking behavior. You cannot take it upon yourself to be very rude to them in our discord communities. The behavior depicted in this logs is not acceptable conduct for members of our community. 

[stev]

Right, fair enough. I'll try to contact moderation in cases like this in the future, it's been an exceedingly difficult couple days--sorry about the uh, incoherence in this thread, lot of things compounding.

On the topic of the other accusations against me, do you believe I am an emotionally abuser, intentionally using emotional blackmail in a concerted attempt to abuse Marlon, a person I have little interaction with? These are some extremely strong accusations and frankly I don't much like being compared to an emotional abuser over something like this, especially as a past victim of emotional and physical abuse. (That was a large reason this got blown out of proportion, again, I'm sorry for that.) 

[Garnascus]

I cant really comment on the claims of abuse. All i can really do is compare a player's behavior with our server rules and i think its fairly straightforward your behavior violates rule 1. OPs make various claims all the time and thats usually fine. Its on us to decide if they are credible. The warning has been applied for reasons stated and this thread will now be archived.