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World "Diamond"


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Posted (edited)

Link provided by Gollee here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/132Y4bpYS0xXgMiTqIjMyKpSKQ5d0bvwbSxkrGkWktPo/edit?pli=1


Type (e.g. Planet, Faction, System): Dead planet


Founding/Settlement Date (if applicable): est. 2250


Region of Space: Kepler-22


Controlled by (if not a faction): None, dead world.


Other Snapshot information: The world is basically dead due to thermonuclear detonations.


Long Description:https://docs.google.com/document/d/132Y4bpYS0xXgMiTqIjMyKpSKQ5d0bvwbSxkrGkWktPo/edit?pli=1

Edited by Guest
Posted
Can we not clutter with WIP posts? They stack and stack and are ultimately useless.


Use the "Save Draft" feature for it, if you need to.

 

This, please


Also please use the format

Posted

Heard about Diamond a bit previously, actually decided to give it a closer look and here are my thoughts.


This feels forcedly edgy and grimdark. A class of elites supported by a society of cloned slaves? This is so radically abnormal and different from any kind of society that it feels like a potential setting to explore as its own standalone story, but as a background planet of a generally semi-realistic "near-future" sci-fi universe, it stands out like a sore thumb. (We're in 2456, not 25 000 AD, I wouldn't expect humanity to have entirely rewritten society - with nobody else batting an eyelid at an entire planet of clone slaves.)


It doesn't end there. Ignoring the means through which such a society came to be (with no one from external worlds seemingly giving any shits), the fact that clones began revolting (believable) resulting into the upper class nuking the entire planet into oblivion (less believable, wat) doesn't make any sense. And also the fact that "survivors are rare with all signs of habitation wiped off the planet" makes it fall into snowflake territory - I feel like this basically exists so players can claim "I was a special clone from an edgy clone planet, but then my homeworld got destroyed boo hoo".


So yeah. A lot to swallow, poor execution, all around way too extreme to make a good background addition.

Posted

It was made awhile ago anyway, and the majority of the grimdark shit was Gollee's doing, wasn't my idea really. I didn't want it to be a edgy, grimdarky snowflake world. I literally just wanted to make a planet to explain Desire's backstory.

Posted
Heard about Diamond a bit previously, actually decided to give it a closer look and here are my thoughts.


This feels forcedly edgy and grimdark. A class of elites supported by a society of cloned slaves? This is so radically abnormal and different from any kind of society that it feels like a potential setting to explore as its own standalone story, but as a background planet of a generally semi-realistic "near-future" sci-fi universe, it stands out like a sore thumb. (We're in 2456, not 25 000 AD, I wouldn't expect humanity to have entirely rewritten society - with nobody else batting an eyelid at an entire planet of clone slaves.)


It doesn't end there. Ignoring the means through which such a society came to be (with no one from external worlds seemingly giving any shits), the fact that clones began revolting (believable) resulting into the upper class nuking the entire planet into oblivion (less believable, wat) doesn't make any sense. And also the fact that "survivors are rare with all signs of habitation wiped off the planet" makes it fall into snowflake territory - I feel like this basically exists so players can claim "I was a special clone from an edgy clone planet, but then my homeworld got destroyed boo hoo".


So yeah. A lot to swallow, poor execution, all around way too extreme to make a good background addition.

 

This just about sums it up.

Posted
It was made awhile ago anyway, and the majority of the grimdark shit was Gollee's doing, wasn't my idea really. I didn't want it to be a edgy, grimdarky snowflake world. I literally just wanted to make a planet to explain Desire's backstory.

 


It was made to your specifications, including the clone slaves, and the planetary devastation. When I am asked to make something for someone, I put in exactly what they ask, so they get exactly what they asked for, so the community can then decide whether they want it.

Posted

I'm gonna say no to that Gollee, that was a suggestion, but it's not time to bicker about it now. Might aswell do a full rework of it now and call it done, although i doubt i will get all the "buy-ins" for it, or ever, for that fact.

Posted
World name: Diamond, due to the large amounts of natural resources such as Onyx, and several very rare but rather useless gems.The world was founded by a EE colony ship, in which the colonists had revolted against the crew, deciding to cut off all contact with the former society of humanity, which had ruined their homeworld, and promised to be ecologically stable and even helpful.But this would not last into the hundreds of years that went into making the world what it was before it was wiped out completely.The colony started off with a mere 120 people, and cloning vats to produce..expendable population. It grew into the millions as the years went on, a social divide occurred.There were two castes, the rich and powerful, and the fodder used to support the rich and powerful.The select few born into the richer families were spared from mind-controling implants used to keep people from revolting, keeping them from even thinking freely.This way of life went on for years and years, the population of slave-workers eventually getting to the point where they weren't even implanted because it was so large, into the millions, to support a rich upper-class of 500,000.Desire was born, or, more aptly, created into this caste, as a teen-pop star. Her mother was one of the more elite who could afford to have a child created for them, instead of having one the natural way. She was augmented genetically to be perfect from birth, but she came out far different, she did not grow into the attractive young woman her mother wanted, but her mother still accepted her as she was, and still forced her into the planet's entertainment industry. Desire quickly tired of this life, presuing academics more than anything.This life, however, did accquire her a large sum of credits which put her though college on the planet.More on her later, however. The planet was soon wiped out by a combination of war and a super-plague, the lower class had hit critcal levels, and pandemics were often and long, noone helped them.And so, they revolted against the richer upper class, who used nuclear weaponry to contain them, with fear and death..But the plagues had spread like wild-fire to the upper-classes, and they died quickly.Soon the planet fell into anarchy, and nothing was heard again, even when large cargo freighters FTL'd to the planet to make supply runs.The planet soon fell into obscurity, remembered by noone except the few that escaped..



I am happy to lend a hand in a rewrite if you want it.

Posted

Alright, so for reasons which I have summarized below, I'm going to have to deny and lock this thread.

 

  • It doesn't make sense within our existing universe
  • Players wouldn't realistically have any ties to it (given that the planet has so few survivors)
  • Some backstory bits seems incredibly forced to lead to an outcome (i.e. some events don't seem to have any logic around them, they just seem to be put in to lead to the planet being nukes)

 



I'd suggest reworking the planet. You're welcome to contact myself or any other member of the lore team if you need pointers.

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