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You are a Japanese Rice Farmer


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Prevent anime from being invented.

 

I'll be there to make sure Hentai still exists.

 

You'll need an army motherfucker

 

When your kids are impregnating kids when they're too young to even pay for their own phone bill, you'll wish you hadn't stopped Hentai.

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You have farmed rice.


You are swimming in the rice.


You survived the Vietnam War, becoming the famed, 'Rice Man' for your efforts to provide rice to the Viet Kong. Also smuggling Kalishnakovs. At the cost of losing your right eye.


You stop anime before it happens. At the cost of a ringfinger in the battle.


You return to your rice field, and welcome many motherfuckers.


What do?

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After deeply considering my actions of the past, and remembering stories that my grandfather once told me when he owned the rice farm, move to Seattle and pursue and education. Study software engineering with a minor in math, and join an accredited business with a B rating from the BBB. After twenty years in the industry, retire early to sail around the world with your wife who you met as an undergrad, and try to taste the sweeter things in life. After ten years of cruising, and your wife's sudden death due to an obscure illness, consider what makes you yourself. After some time in India, spent with monks in deep meditation, decide to move back to Japan to the family farm where your younger brother took over after your father's death. Now that the prodigal son has returned, begin farming rice for the rest of your days, living peacefully in the Japanese countryside.

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After deeply considering my actions of the past, and remembering stories that my grandfather once told me when he owned the rice farm, move to Seattle and pursue and education. Study software engineering with a minor in math, and join an accredited business with a B rating from the BBB. After twenty years in the industry, retire early to sail around the world with your wife who you met as an undergrad, and try to taste the sweeter things in life. After ten years of cruising, and your wife's sudden death due to an obscure illness, consider what makes you yourself. After some time in India, spent with monks in deep meditation, decide to move back to Japan to the family farm where your younger brother took over after your father's death. Now that the prodigal son has returned, begin farming rice for the rest of your days, living peacefully in the Japanese countryside.

 

That's the difference between you and me, Morty. I don't go back to the rice fields.

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You have returned to your farm.


You are far more wise, and you begin to feel your third eye beginning to open.


You have the most rice. No-one has as much rice as you.


You reflect on your life, smiling knowing though you have accomplished much, the world is still a ripe rice-ball, ready to be conquered

 

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