Mofo1995

I'm going to give a relatively in-depth response to this application. Firstly, your response to: "Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human" is absolutely fantastic. You're clearly enthused to play the race for its lore, and not for its fur. I'm also excited that it speaks to you as a real world person with connections to the plights and experiences they go through, it's one facet of roleplay which I find exciting when it can sometimes be surprisingly relate-able. "Afdal signed up with NanoTrasen, they didn't ask as many questions and who cared the pay was shitty" From what I can tell from NT lore, this is certainly true, and I'm glad someone used it to capitalize on their backstory. I enjoy the partisan warfare part. And I think being separated from his family and from the rest of the partisan group is interesting as it gives Al-Afdal a lot to think about for his future on station, especially if he reads the news. The writing of the application isn't perfect, and by that I mean grammatically. It gets confusing at times to read, but I'm mostly here to ascertain your roleplaying capabilities and knowledge of lore, and I think the support you've gotten in this thread is sufficient to vet you as a good roleplayer. I think this application does a good job of capturing the lore, and I enjoy how he's had to live in fear of the PRA police state for much of his life. His backstory is pretty rich and exciting, and I think he'll make for a very dynamic and fascinating character on the station. You've accumulated plenty of support, enthusiasm, and knowledge of the lore. This application is accepted.

Anonymous Frontier System-State Leases Telecommunications Satellite: Word of our Sovereign Spreads to the Stars! 20.10.2458 Following two years of searching, negotiations and debate, His Majesty's Parliament has ratified a treaty with a generous system-state on the human frontier which has chosen to remain anonymous. The Telecommunications and Stellar Media Treaty provides a ten year lease for a telecommunications satellite outside of our majesty's airspace de facto held by forces of the People's Republic. The debates around the ratification of the treaty lasted three months as many lords active in the service gentry advocated for using the funds for the war effort. However, the debate took an abrupt turn in favor of the treaty when Field-Marshal Rrhazhal Zarkradar'Akhan returned to the capital from his head quarters to make a joint declaration to Parliament alongside His Majesty, King Vahzirthaamro Azunja. Afterwards the whole of parliament cheered, and the treaty was ratified the following day. The primary opponent to the treaty, Mrraka'te'almalik Grand Duke Rrhazumhik Klyuchevksy, was reached for comment, and had this to say, "While he honors the King and their Field-Marshal's decision, he feels the money would have been better spent equipping his troops. The Republican Army has begun issuing new models of automatic rifles to replace their semi-automatic ones, and yet his troops still have mostly bolt-action weapons." Mrraka'te'almalik Grand Duke Rrhazumhik Klyuchevksy leads the second largest group of forces in the Kingdom, and is currently operating on Chaniska Island west of the Harr'Masir continent. The "Winter Offensive" launched by opposition forces early last month has heavily strained the Kingdom's capabilities to fight in the current war. Despite these concerns, our magnanimous and wise King still assures us, "Our cause, like all the most righteous of movements, is fated to win. We will not make the same mistakes of the past." The Royal Telegraph staff encourages all expatriates to subscribe to the Royal Telegraph, as all subscription fees lessen the burden of the Telecommunications and Stellar Media Treaty and therefore, the war effort.

Part One: The Eve of Revolution has exited editing! Comma splices which littered the entirety of it were mass deleted, some repeated words were taken out, multiple sentence fragments were fixed, and a small probably unnoticeable handful of stylistic choices in wording were changed. I'm also going to stop posting when different parts go into WIP, and instead only post when things are up in their entirety, and exit editing. Though, I will be keeping my writing in progress forum-side and still using the [WIP] tag.

Part Three: The First Casualty of War is up in its entirety! All three parts are now in editing. Since quality control is important, Part Four: The Shevarrditsa Revolt will not be released until at least Part One: The Eve of Revolution exits editing. Sorry :/

Application canonized and added to the wiki.

Hello! I will be reading this in more depth over the coming week, but it's currently on the sideline for another project. Just wanted to drop in and let you know this isn't forgotten or buried.

Hello! I will be reading through this application in more depth tonight and deciding upon it likely tomorrow. If canonized, it will go onto the Republican Navy's space section of the in-development Tajaran Military Structures page.

Hello! A Tajaran Military Structure page is in the works with completion planned by this Friday, and it's an ideal place for this. While writing the tactics and composition of the Republican Army, I kept this in mind as an essential part of their military successes. I'll mark this as processing for now while I figure out how to condense this to retain its detail and personality, while not being the size of a page on its own. Everyone can expect to see the Ha'narr Corps in the near future, a service branch of the People's Republic separate from the Republican Army.

Yes, this is true. /me's will go based on the ID you're wearing if you hide your face (or as unknown, if you hide your face and have no ID visible.) So, you can mask yourself as somebody else's voice in this way, mechanically anyways. I don't know the rules around it, I imagine imitating voices would be okay if done sparingly.

This just flat out makes sense, but I'm unsure of how difficult it would be to code since sensor glitches events, ironically, have some other glitches like: "Our report of a random antagonist turned out to be a false alarm" or even "Our report of a Nothing turned out to be a false alarm." I've always felt radiation storms were an opportune time for antagonists to get some mobility and access at ease, and giving them these false alarm times to tunnel crawl as well as stop people from metagaming sensor glitches would be nice. Additionally, consider the following:

Hello! I dropped in as promised in order to review this application. Having a homosexual character is a risky approach. Allowed, but I'm very glad that in your application you painted a proper picture of the persecution and difficulties such a character would face, and attempt to conceal it. Before I go further in-depth, I'd like to answer a question first. Yes, you are allowed to and I encourage you to in response to any criticisms which you find to be helpful. A lot of people have come into this thread and given helpful advice, and you seem very responsive and pliable to it. As far as support goes, you haven't gathered very much. Remember to advertise you application once a round in OOC while you're on the server. Personality-wise, a young stand-offish strong homosexual Tajaran with a dark past fits into a stereotype which in the past, which I feel, hasn't been conducive to good roleplay. I recommend dialing back the personality traits a bit. Tajara, especially refugees on work visas, are expected to demonstrate a certain degree of reasonable subservience to their alien hosts, or else they risk getting shipped back. The character's history isn't strictly bad. Personally, I'm a fan of the child soldier concept, and it especially fits extremely well with the Adhomai Liberation Army which often acts more like a terror organization than an organized army. The defection to the PRA was a nice touch, since it's one of the few times I've seen someone utilize the purported advantages of living under the PRA: Stability. You've got a lot of good elements here, and I'm going to leave the application open for another three days so that you can make any changes you wish, since it seems you didn't realize you could. I also encourage you once again to advertise in OOC once a round so that the feedback people leave can give me a better understanding of your qualities as a roleplayer.

Hello! Just dropping in to let you know that your application is not forgotten, and that I will be reviewing it tonight.

Accepted.

All righty, you've been really receptive to feedback, you seem responsible and mature, and you've demonstrated good enough knowledge of the lore. I'm inclined to accept this application once I get my WebInterface permissions, but for now it will be set to [PROCESSING].

Hello, I'm the new cat boss. Since your app has been up for a few days, you get the dubious honor of being the first whitelist application I get to consider. As someone whose primary Tajaran character is deeply ingrained in the first revolution rather than the on-going civil war, I can appreciate the character being more affected by the historical event, even if it's vicariously through his parents. I was concerned about this app in the sense that I haven't seen Kir Iziki on server in quite awhile, but the fact that you were able to accumulate three well-writ posts of solid feedback without even being on server is very good validation of your roleplaying abilities. My only major concern is the seeming lack of impact of the current civil war on Zurael's life. This story seems to suggest he left his siblings and ill mother on Adhomai where the war is still raging. How does Zurael feel about this? Does he have plans to make enough money to move them to Biesel/New Gibson? Under which faction's territory are they currently residing?

Ooh, I like this even more, this is cool. Don't forget Hyper energy wafer, like hyper capacity power cells. For the more heavyset IPCs who want to overload.

Part Three: The First Casualty of War is WIP! Part Two: The Baron Responds has entered editing along with its predecessor, but I've decided for now to prioritize laying down more story before going back in order to keep fresh content coming. As always, feedback (especially negative, as I've already received big heaps of positive feedback) is welcome, even for something as seemingly trite as grammar!

Yes, the PRA is the only diplomatically recognized faction on Adhomai. They have the same job requirements as humans in order to take a job. You can make homosexual characters, so long as it's roleplayed properly. Tajaran society views homosexualality as deviancy, and it is illegal and punishable by deportment to forced labor camps by the People's Republic. Essentially, keep it on the down low, yes keep it hidden. It's supposed to be an oppressed demographic. Officially, the PRA claims to be the government of all Tajarans, including refugees in human space. I think it's safe to say they would. Good question, I haven't seen this come up ever before, I don't know. I also wanted to add that I think it's neat that you compiled a list of questions to ask before making an application. I can tell you've spent a lot of time sifting through old posts and doing research, and I find it admirable.

I don't know how to feel about this. Intrinsically, I like it and think it's a good story, but at the same time, my gut feeling tells me it doesn't fit in with skrell. The wiki page is pretty explicit that they can convey emotion the same way humans do, and just as well, especially when in conversation with each other. But at the same time, it goes against the logical and a-romantic themes which I've come to know and love about skrell. Nothing on the wiki explicitly says it's forbidden, so I can't specifically fault you for going against skrell-player culture in a way which isn't in direct opposition to anything on the wiki ,except maybe "Skrells highly value logic, and rarely make rash decisions," but rarely is still something that can happen. So, in summation with all the story's you've written, all of my issues were addressed either through your initial response or through all these stories you've written. It's not perfect, but I'm willing to flip my -1 to a +1 because of everything you've added. Not because of the volume you've provided, but because of the substance of it. I feel like this could still be risky, I'm not going to lie, your character strikes me as a bit of a snowflake, and even more so, it just... feels like something you'd play. I don't know how to elaborate on that, it just strikes me as a character you'd make, no offense or insults intended. What I mean to say is that Aveo feels similar in personality to your other characters, and although it's generalizing, I feel they might in ideology too. Still, I personally want to see Aveo given a chance in reconsideration of what you've written for us, and I want to thank you for putting in the elbow grease and effort to give us more to work with and consider, and to make adjustments according to feedback you've been given.

Hookay, only one more extra post to follow this one. Sorry for filling your thread with posts as I make each review of each post separate. I like the first retcon, your "point 1." It's very palatable compared to the alternative, and I'm a big fan of it, it serves greatly to improve your application in my eyes. On the second point: Your retcon helps the situation make a ton of more sense. Maybe Aveo's parents gave him something from memory that they knew would make some really basic AI, as part of their on-going desire to convert him back to their orthodoxy. The idea of them having it memorized and being able to pass it along, since I imagine it would be very complex, is still far fetched. But, still, it's leaps and bounds more believable than previously. Ultimately, I still don't like it, but I'm willing to concede that I think this is a very positive change. In a corner of my mind, I wonder if it would be possible to visit Aveo's parents, but I'm not authority on if it would be possible. It at least struck me as believable. Now onto my final review post...

Okay, now for my review of story two. I like how Kluup talked Aveo out of working with AI's, and I thought his naivety and Kluup's reasonable nature were positive elements of the story. Moving along, I'm a fan of the elements of this application about Glorsh collaborators having a leg up on the non-collaborators, and helping to rebuild society. Aveo's work in networking for both he and Kluup's house as well as some school's library is a good representation of this. I'm also a fan of the persecution which Aveo faces at the hands of his class mates, and how you've incorporated elements of my head canon about cyberwarfare and computer viruses being a big deal in Skrellian society. I ultimately can't give you official kudos for bringing in pieces of my head canon, but I can at least shovel heaps of unofficial kudos for it onto you.