'Twas the Night on Aurora

[Baka]

'Twas the night before Christmas, on NSS Aurora,

Tcomms were silent, not even a tip of a fedora.

The singularity was penned up with very little care,

Unbeknown that St. Bald will soon be there.

The medbay nurses were snuggled up in each other's beds,

With visions of SSD dancing up in there heads.

With the HoP in cryo, and I with my lawgiver,

Will pop the asses of any griffy troublemaker.

When out in the arrivals there was quite a clatter,

The sound of a toolbox and a bunch of blood splatter.

The bald one took the dead sec officer's flash,

With a grin he approaches the brig in a dash.

The AI called out the bald headed's position,

And started to bolt doors like a man on a mission.

I told the AI to open the door,

Stupid ass motherfucker, I ani't taking no more.

I pointed my gun and said drop on the floor,

The assistant did charge with his suit covered in gore.

I sent 7 a-helps, the attack message I relayed,

Mods are asleep, or doing erotic roleplay.

I decided to take matters into my own hands,

With a lucky disarm, already a part of the plan.

I told the baldie about my proposals,

Of shoving him down into disposals.

I put him in and then I pressed "flush",

He goes down the chute with a sickening crush.

I walk away wiping my hands,

A boink popped up, "why u do dat".

Now I have to wait 24 hours to play,

I am sorry I will miss you on Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night,

Putting baldies in the trash, what a wonderful sight.

[SleepyWolf]

/sheds a single tear/

[Dea Tacita]

I love you.

[Rusty Shackleford]

Hue. I did one of these last year. Maybe I should make another this year too.

[Susan]

2 late ruste

Rockin' around the permabrig

at the Christmas Party hop

Hoss' limbs strung up above

every griefer tries to stop

Rockin' around the permabrig

let the griffin spirit ring

later we'll beat the HoP

and we'll do some robusting

You will get a sentimental feelin' when you hear

radio screamin', let's be jolly,

deck the halls with catbeast organs

Rockin' around the permabrig

have a happy holiday

everyone robustin' merrily

in the new old fashioned way

[saxophone solo]

 

---

---

 

You know Tina and Ava and Dandy and Ryker,

Bara and Mason and Johnson and Clewett

but do you recall

the most famous erper of all

Wyatt the red-faced engie

had a very tiny dick

and if you ever saw it

you would stop and laugh a tic

All of the other erpers

used to laugh and call him names

they never let poor Wyatt

join in any 'fun skype games'

Then one foggy Christmas eve

Rebecca came to say

Wyatt with your dick so small

won't you slide on down my hall

Then how the erpers loved him

as they shouted out with glee

Wyatt the red faced engie

you'll 'go down' in history

[Farcry11]

2 late ruste

Rockin' around the permabrig

at the Christmas Party hop

Hoss' limbs strung up above

every griefer tries to stop

Rockin' around the permabrig

let the griffin spirit ring

later we'll beat the HoP

and we'll do some robusting

You will get a sentimental feelin' when you hear

radio screamin', let's be jolly,

deck the halls with catbeast organs

Rockin' around the permabrig

have a happy holiday

everyone robustin' merrily

in the new old fashioned way

[saxophone solo]

 

---

---

 

You know Tina and Ava and Dandy and Ryker,

Bara and Mason and Johnson and Clewett

but do you recall

the most famous erper of all

Wyatt the red-faced engie

had a very tiny dick

and if you ever saw it

you would stop and laugh a tic

All of the other erpers

used to laugh and call him names

they never let poor Wyatt

join in any 'fun skype games'

Then one foggy Christmas eve

Rebecca came to say

Wyatt with your dick so small

won't you slide on down my hall

Then how the erpers loved him

as they shouted out with glee

Wyatt the red faced engie

you'll 'go down' in history

 

G-G-G-GODLIKE

[Susan]

Last extended I gave you my heart

but the very next round

you gave it away

this round to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

(x2)

[really gay intermission]

Once tatored and twice shy, I keep my distance

but you still catch my eye.

Tell me baby, do you recognize me?

Well, it's been a round, it doesn't surprise me.

'Happy Christmas'. I pulled it out and stabbed it

in your neck, saying 'I love you' I meant it.

Now I know what a tool you've been

but we're together now, thanks to this parapen.

[refrain]

Oooooh~ Oh my baby~

A crowded bar, sec has tired eyes.

I'm hiding from them, and their souls of ice.

My God, I thought you were

someone to erp with.

Me? I guess my neckbeard

wasn't attractive.

A face on a creeper with a fire in his heart,

A traitor undercover but you tore me apart, ooh-hoo.

Now I've found you again thanks to my parapen.

[refrain]

[Farcry11]

Here goes...

Deck the halls with blood of baldy,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

'Tis the season for great folly,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Fill the sprayer, drain the fueltank,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Burn the monkeys, grab a big shank,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

See the honking clown before us,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Harmbaton and brig him more-us

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Follow me in griefy measure,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

While I sing of ERP's pleasure,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Now the secborg's shooting lasers,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Hit the floor and fire your tasers!

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Laughing, ganking, all together,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Heedless of bans and the weather,

Fa la la la la la la la la!

[incognitojesus]

This is now my favorite thread on the forums.

*poetry snaps*

[hivefleetchicken]

I li9ke hballs

bakls are goid for yoi

[Fred3764]

I... this... this is probably the best thing in the history of ever.

[Jennalele]

This is absolutely beautiful.

...Someone do Silent Night.

[Baka]

SILEEEEEEEEEEENT SOUND

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY COW

WHOOOOOOOOOOOO TURNED OFFFFFFFFFFFFF

MY IMPLAAAAAAAAAAAAANT

HOWWWWWWWWWWW CAN I HEAR TCOMMS NOW

HOWWWWWWWWWWW CAN I HEAR HISSING NOW

MEDBAY CHATTER IS DRAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAA

ENJOY THIS HEAVENLY PEEEEEEEEEACE

[hivefleetchicken]

Siiiiiiilent baaaalds~

Metateam baaaaalds~

Conspiiiiiring weldbombs,

In the haaaaaalls~

Cruuuuuushing heads with tools toooooo and frooooo~

Bleeeeeeeeding you out in the holodeck snoooooow~

Looooooog in heavenly peeeeeace~

SSD after their grieeeeef~

[Susan]

I don't want a lot for Christmas,

there is just one thing I need

I don't care about the baldies

underneath the Hoss' boots

I just want to robust scrubs

more than you could ever know.

Make my wish come true,

All I want for Christmas is nuke.

I don't want a lot for Christmas,

there is just one thing I need

I don't care about the lesbeans

underneath the Medbay's desk

I don't need to slap my handcuffs

there upon the baldies' wrists.

Nuclear will make me happy, with

gunfights on Christmas day.

I just want to robust scrubs

more than you could ever know.

Make my wish come true,

Baby, all I want for Christmas is nuuuuuu~uuuuu~uuuuke.

Ooh baby.

Oh, I won't ask for much this new round,

I won't even wish for ling,

And I'm just gonna keep on waiting,

underneath the dogpiled votes.

I won't make an alt and send it

to the server to stack for me.

I won't even have the sound on

to hear all of teamspeak bitch.

'Cause I just want nuke here tonight,

causing security such a fright,

What more can I do?

Baby, all I want for Christmas is nuuuuu~uuuuu~uuuuke,

Nuuuuuuke, baby.

Oh-oh, all the fires are shining,

so brightly everywhere

And the sound of assistants

dying fills the air.

And everyone is screamin',

Security is beamin',

Captain won't you bring me the disk I really need?

Won't you please bring my baby to me?

Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas

This is all I'm asking for,

I just want to see the station

blown apart by our big nuke.

Oh, I just want nuke for this round,

more than you could ever know.

Make my wish come true,

Baby all I want for Christmas is nuuuuuuuuuuke.

[keinto]

On the first day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, A loose Singularity.

On the second day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the third day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the fourth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the fifth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Fiveee Plasma Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the sixth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasma Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the seventh day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Seven biohazards, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasma Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the eighth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Eight baton beatings, Seven biohazards, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasma Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the ninth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Nine broken cyborgs, Eight baton beatings, Seven biohazards, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasmaa Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the tenth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Ten bald Assistants, Nine broken cyborgs, Eight baton beatings, Seven biohazards, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasmaa Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

On the eleventh day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Eleven welder-bombers, Ten bald Assistants, Nine broken cyborgs, Eight baton beatings, Seven biohazards, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasmaa Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularity!~

Oooon theeee twelfth day of Christmas CentComm gave to me, Twelve Thirteen Lokos, Eleven welder-bombers, Ten bald Assistants, Nine broken cyborgs, Eight baton beatings, Seven biohazards, Six meteor showers, Fiveee Plasmaa Leaaaaks! Four space bats, Three space carps, Two jetpacks, And a loose Singularityyyyyyyyyyyy...!

[incognitojesus]

I may or may not record the Wyatt-ERP one.