Azande Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 BYOND Key: XanderDoxen Total Ban Length: Permanent (IP+ComputerID) Banning staff member's Key: Garnascus Reason of Ban: Repetitively toxic behaviour and disrespect despite warnings and deals made with the Administration (Paraphrased from memory as BYOND has a bug that doesn't show ban/denied access reasons) Reason for Appeal: It's been quite a few months since I was re-permabanned, after failing to maintain my side of a deal with Garnascus and by bannning admin, Serveris. The deal was that I would not speak out against or at the administration team, and most importantly not insult them. Due to personal conflicts with some of the administrators, I found it personally difficult to uphold this as I thought I was being treated unfairly over all by a few of them, and so I lashed out at one, resulting the insta-ban clause of my deal with the admins. I do regret the insults I have put against present and former staff members here, although I do stand by the fact that there were some who were treating me incredibly unfairly, there were proper channels to address these issues and I chose to take none of them, a decision I have grown to regret immensely. I spent the last three years of high school (Grade 9, 10 and 11) playing Aurorastation, and unfortunately I have not been able to play for my fourth, and most turbulent year (or most of it) . In the past three months alone, I've gone through many events that I would usually turn to Aurorastation to cope with, and I've realized how much I miss the interactions I had with not only this community's characters, but those within the community itself. I understand that near the end of my play here, I poisoned a lot of those relationships I had forged over the years, and I'm not asking any of those people to forgive me. What I am asking for, is the ability to show my value as a player who has a strong dedication and love for this community (I've been checking the forums as a guest regularly for the last while, and begging Garn for the ability to appeal my ban for a bit too) . In the time away from Aurora, I've played on various other stations that are RP focused (Baystation, Polaris, etc..) but none of them have such a connected and roleplay-oriented community, the kind of environment I seek in long-term play. I miss all of you very much and want to play with you guys again, if you unban me, I will not seek out any involvement in IC-meta activities, events, staff teams or other areas in which I acted or behaved poorly. I just want to be able to play with you guys again Thank you for taking the time for reading this, please leave your input for the admins, because I do not want to come back to Aurora if my presence is going to disturb a significant portion of the community, I understand a lot of them were happy I was banned and if that portion remains active I do not wish to detract from their play experience at all. (exhibit A: http://puu.sh/w4MuE/59bbd01384.jpg ) Special thanks you to Garnascus for unbanning my forum account so I could post this appeal, especially after how I treated him and the language I used when speaking to him. ( )
Scheveningen Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 I'm going to put it into simple terms. You insisted a long while ago that you'd leave the server either indefinitely or forever. Coupled with your increasingly problematic, belligerent and immature attitude that was beginning to really piss every sapient being that plays on this server, the server staff were inclined to agree and took you up on the promise you made. You made it clear to the server pop after the permaban that you weren't returning. You return now to beg forgiveness, tell everyone that you've missed them oh so much, and that you take back all of the insults you've made. Haven't we been here before? This circuit is extremely familiar, not because I deal with this spiel on a daily basis but this kind of round-about seems rather characteristic when coming from this particular basis. From you. I think one of the more defining issues being present here is that I don't need to put a massive effort in informing other people what my opinion is of you, because I can easily point them at the things you've said and done for them to generate their own silent impression. My impression is that you've done so much over a large period of time, broken enough promises you were supposed to keep and in spite of that, kept on being a passive-aggressive bastard to other people who didn't earn that displayed ire, in that you really don't quite deserve another reprieve. Because that'd be a mistake on our end, as well as another waste of time and moral resources on our end. This is my professional opinion, and just my own, as an individual that had long-term exposure to you and the results of your actions. I'll stand by whatever the administrators do in this case but I'd strongly advise against giving you yet another chance you will waste.
Skull132 Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 This is my professional opinion, and just my own, as an individual that had long-term exposure to you and the results of your actions. I'll stand by whatever the administrators do in this case but I'd strongly advise against giving you yet another chance you will waste. Gonna have to be a butt here and I don't intend to flame or anything but. This is a wee bit ironic coming from you. You were given a chance to become a moderator, and have yet to screw the pooch after... 3 - 5 months of operations? So perhaps Xanny here can do the same, prove us wrong, and be a reasonable human bean as a player with minimal responsibilities. Okay, fuck, I can't be this shortly worded here. I don't mean to put you into a spot of, "Well, you're the reason we have to unban Xander here, thank you." Not my intent nor what I'm trying to say, if you ever think that. My point is. Garn and some of the other new higher admins wish to see if people can change. Specifically those who didn't outright show malicious intent, and are more a victim of.. Everything other than malicious intent! Whether or not they're right about this remains to be seen, but at present, nothing seems to have imploded as a result of this view. So maybe there are ways to view the world other than my cynicism of, "A butt is a butt will be a butt. No." Xander falls neatly into that category, and doesn't have the amazing fuckups someone like LoneTopHat (still banned, despite appeal) has. Perhaps he has matured and cooled off. Perhaps his sitiation has changed to where the shit he pulled isn't necessary anymore. Perhaps he learned his lesson. So, idno.
Scheveningen Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 So perhaps Xanny here can do the same, prove us wrong, and be a reasonable human bean as a player with minimal responsibilities. One of the largest issues coming from Xander in relation to attitude was also how they propped themselves onto a higher pedestal than they actually maintained and used that to give himself a larger voice than he really had. This led to rather amazing discussions, and issues being raised over their displayed behavior of a superiority complex. He was asked to reform this attitude. More than once, no less than three times to my own memory. "At least he's not LoneTophat" doesn't make Xander forgivable or redeemable. Specifically those who didn't outright show malicious intent, and are more a victim of.. Everything other than malicious intent! Xander would regularly get frustrated at other community members and server-staff members and launch tirades of verbal attacks and ill-wishing on both if they rubbed Xander the wrong way. He wouldn't get apologetic until he was actually punished for wrongdoing. The former is most definitely indicative of more malicious intent. There is rarely any good reason to be calling other community members awful names and telling them they're awful people. Were this someone that had a one-off OOC explosion that was mildly dramatic at worst, I'd support lenience. The current staff MO is something to uphold in every second-chance-esque situation. Not in this case, because Xander has had his second, third, fourth and so on chances. The current permanent ban that was placed was the absolute last resort.
Azande Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 I think it'd actually be great to have my notes leading up to my final two bans posted here so we can what I was being watched for and such. So far I think both of you have made excellent points for and against accepting my appeal here, I don't intend to address every individual point of Delta's because a lot of it boils down to me being a shitty person all around - something I will confess too. Over the last six months, a lot has changed. I got out of one relationship and into another, I've lost friends to car accidents and suicide, been accepted to university for Social Work, got way more drunk than I should have and worked a full shift the next glorious morning. It's been half a year since I last played, I'm not asking for you to forget that I was a terrible asshole to a lot of folks, but you also need to remember that for a long time people weren't nice to me either. I was followed to other servers I tried to make a new home on, only to be attacked and called cancerous and so many other things. There was a time in which there was a group of 15+ players in a skype ground specifically talking shit about me and discussing how they were egging me on in OOC just to get a reaction hoping I would be punished, because they knew I was short-fused. I knew a lot of people harbored very ill-will against me, and a lot of the people I got on with really well (Covert, Nightmare, etc) have moved on from the server, and so quickly there were only negative things being shared about me without any positive voices, it got very overwhelming to deal with and I repeatedly failed to see the Administration try and stop this meta-bullying, and I'm not even blaming the admins for that, they had a lot going on around some of that time with the Cassie bullshit and constant staff reshuffling and resignations and such and that's just how the cards got dealt. But I don't care about that anymore. When I first came here, in my third or so month of play, Skull had called me an idiot in OOC and dragged me through the mud, making me feel like the biggest loser on the server. Then we talked on the forums via PMs about me and my whitelist. What Skull told me in that conversation is part of my reason for this appeal. Way back when, Skull told me that I should take a break from playing Heads of Staff, sit back in a lower role and gain some perspective, understand what it means to be lesser, so you can become greater. This is essentially the same situation, I've taken the step back (albeit, by the force of a ban), I've brooded for six months, and I've looked at everything I did, and I've tried to reconnect with a few Auroran's outside of SS13. I think I am ready to return to Aurora as a rule-abiding, grateful player, and that's the perspective I currently am maintaining.
Scheveningen Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I changed my mind, and here's what I think. You get one more chance and then after that it's yet another long and arduous appeal cycle. You get the opportunity to improve, if you miss the mark then business carries on as usual without you. If you do hit the mark, then there's nothing to worry about and you'll be welcome on the server again. I had my hiatus before and it gave me enough insight on what should be done right and what shouldn't be done. We'll consider this four month period from you as your chance to improve from your rather forced-hiatus. We'll see how it works out.
Garnascus Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 As xander has requested that their notes be posted i will do that now. Please keep in mind this is not intended to become an argument over X note at Y time because of Z circumstances. Notes are not up for debate. they are documentation for when a staff member speaks with you. They will be in three parts now. This is the first page with notes about 2-3 months before your first permaban. This is the second page with both permabans listed. This is the PM i sent to you following the final permaban. It is the reasoning for it. it details the post you made directed toward one of our admins "jennalele" and the initial post "serveris" made to you on the first permaban thread. I think a pattern here is quite obvious. Your attitude has always had its less than savory elements to it but the past few months before your permaban was nothing short of deplorable. You took every opportunity you could to decry this server's "obvious" failings in OOC chat. You targeted staff and players actions you personally did not agree with. this was not just civil disagreement. Ive gotten into spats with players more than once in OOC, a little passion here and their isnt wrong. You took it much further however. You filled my discord inbox with multiple novels of how awful the server was and how far our "roleplay standards" have dropped and of course how shadow and myself are driving aurora into an early grave. You handle criticism as well as a shotgun handles surgery . Despite the mountain of evidence against you i still want to give you a chance. I have never subscribed to an arbitrary limit on appeals. That is to say i look at each case on its own. I am interested in if a player has changed or not. Occasionally this gets me into trouble but despite the potential for getting burned i remain optimistic. I want to be 100% clear here that even IF i accept that staff where forming some sort of cabal to target you and get you banned you STILL exhibited consistent behavior that would have gotten you booted far quicker on any other server. So then with that all being said i want you to honestly explain to me why i should give you another chance.
Superiorform Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I haven't read the responses from the staff yet, just your OP. You have a screenshot of a discord conversation with me. I'd just like to say that that was very immature of me, and I apologise for it. That is not to say I was not glad that you were banned, just that the way I expressed it was terrible. Sorry about that. I had recently had some terrible experiences with Stamos, and that's why I did it, not that it excuses this absolutely inappropriate behaviour. Sorry again. I am not giving my opinion on the ban appeal, as non-staff, I am not sure I am meant to be posting. I just wanted to apologise, because I was mentioned in the appeal.
Azande Posted June 3, 2017 Author Posted June 3, 2017 Been super busy! Life update: Just found a place to live when I move out for my first year of Uni, yay! To respond to your request Garn, I have tried a few times to make a response that properly and expansively answered your question, and I've failed with each one. It's too hard to explain such a thing too you, especially when it'll be directly compared to my terrible prior behaviour. So I'm sorry that I can't explain why you should accept my appeal, but given the chance - I would love to show you why I should remain unbanned if unbanned. Tldr; It'd be much easier to partake as a player for a bit to show you what's changed about me than to try and arbitrarily lay it out here. If this isn't really something you like, I can try to get everything into words.
Garnascus Posted June 3, 2017 Posted June 3, 2017 I am going to have to insist on words. Take your time.
Azande Posted June 12, 2017 Author Posted June 12, 2017 The reason that I feel that I should be un-banned is not one that necessarily equate to me believing or insisting I /deserve/ to be unbanned, which is why this has taken me awhile to mull over. This reason is, that I am incredibly dedicated and passionate about Aurora, it's community and it's place within SS13 'culture' . While my behaviour hadn't been excellent in the year or so leading up to my ban (as the notes I requested show), I do think that it's nearly undeniable that I am incredibly dedicated to this server and community, and that I have to the best of my ability, tried to engage and expand opportunities for involvement for others ICly and OOcly throughout my play. I had also tried to get involved in both the Lore Team and CCIA to attempt to contribute on a staff level, both teams I resigned from, not feeling that I was contributing to the extent standard I hoped to, mostly due to personal disagreements with other team members. While on lore, I made a redevelopment of IPC lore (which was eventually dropped for Jackfractal's version), and on CCIA, I made a newsletter for players to read to get some more IC meta going, although this has fallen out of use by the current CCIA crew. In my role as Heads, I had consistently tried to engage ICly by giving departments tasks, encouraging use of station financial accounts, and being active even during dead hours. One of my favourite versions of this was the FAP or 'Facility Action Plan' , which was an outline of goals for departments to attempt to complete before the end of the shift, and the joke that 'Central Command loves a good FAP' . I don't necessarily consider this as 'deserving' an unban, as I don't think any volunteer contribution to the server should be made with the expectation of getting something in return, but I do think it outlines the love and care I have for this place and the people that are in it.
Azande Posted June 13, 2017 Author Posted June 13, 2017 I will make a decision within 12 hours. I shall very excitedly and eagerly await your decision.
Garnascus Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I have had more people privately PM me about this appeal than all of the rest combined. some of it not so good, a surprising amount of it was good. Staff are equally undecided. Roughly half of them would deny this on the spot with a "go and stay go". My name is on this particular ban so the ultimate decision is my own. i have never agreed with a closed door policy on appeals after a certain limit. I have always believed that people can change. Occasionally this has gotten me into trouble but i think its worth it in the end. I am going to give you another chance.
Recommended Posts