Why don't we talk?

[Skull132]

A few days ago, I was informed of a case where a senior member of our community abused the position they had gained to further a personal agenda against another player. Consequently, the other player in question left.

This was not reported to the appropriate authorities at the time, and as such, no action was taken.

The endstate is this:

• A rightfully disgruntled player
• A member of staff left feeling impotent, because they couldn't fix the issue, due to them not being aware of it
  
• A self-entitled member left with the feeling that they can get away with shit, and as such, they will repeat their actions

 

This isn't right, folks. In no way should actions like this, taken by anyone in this community, go unpunished or unnoted.

This is, as it stands, a part of a series of cases concerning this individual member. Action was taken at a later date, for different, less urgent infractions. But because I was not aware of this specific instance, I could not press the matter which led to it, leaving this to happen over again. And again. And again.

So, please. If similar things happen, please, from the bottom of my heart: talk to someone.

They don't have to be a member of staff. They can even be that same individual who did it. But talk. To someone. Despite seeming the way I do, I will listen to anyone who is willing to talk to me. And I will see towards providing insight and fixing the issues raised.

Right, that's it, carry on.

[LetzShake]

Yeah I recently had a conversation to this effect. Nothing is gained by stewing and thinking you should just quit the community. If you have a problem, put it out there. Even when you're completely opposed to someone, remember there's a human on the other side and most of the people on this server are reasonable.

[Valkrae]

If you feel that your problem isn't big enough to report, but still bothers you. I really do implore you to talk to someone about it. Like Skull said, it doesn't have to be a member of staff. Just another community member will do. As long as you talk about it, and get your problem out there.

I'd be more than happy to talk to anything about any issues they may have.

[Jennalele]

I'd also like to put myself out here. We don't want to breed an atmosphere like that around here, and I've seen it destroy communities. If not as a mod, then as another player, I'm more than happy to talk and listen to issues as well. If you've got a problem that has to do with the community or server, but you feel it's too small, it's still a problem. Trust me, I've /always/ heard sillier.

[Gollee]

I'd be more than happy to talk to anything about any issues they may have.

 

As am I, if anyone wants to talk.

[Nik]

I complain as loudly as possible when situations arise. Even if I am wrong. And I usually am.

Still, yeah, leave if you are bored. Leave if you don't have time between this and your saucy mistress who is also your Teacher. Leave because you don't like me.

Oh wait, not that last one. Talk about it instead. Or just wait till my computer explodes again and I'm gone for the next 2-4 months.

[hivefleetchicken]

Skull, you may take comfort in the fact that your pursuit of this has gained a lot of respect from me. Your protection of this community and its members, along with its integrity is truly inspiring. You are a great man, and you have not failed me one bit.

So I'm going to post this out here. I guess it would be better off in here instead of a PM, or steam chat, or something, so that I can just explain this here once and for all and be done with it.

Being framed by an admin for breaking literally the worst rule to break in-game, not to mention the most reputation damaging (at least in my opinion,) hurts. A lot.

And if that didn't particularly put a very sour taste in my mouth that one night when this certain situation people are apparently talking about occurred, the mocking I suppose I received in numerous means of OOC communication did. I was contacted on steam by a few people asking if I was 'erotically role playing', since 'X' was saying I was in dead chat. Then they posted logs of this, which showed numerous players laughing their asses off in different chats that some of my friends were lucky enough to witness. I trusted the admin who did this a lot, and to see them suddenly pressing such a charge on me along with the rest of the community quite literally pointing and laughing at me all unfolding in the course of about thirty seconds, I was too confused and surprised to do anything but just turn around and walk away from it.

So to speak. I still wanted an explanation, though. So I left the round and decided to contact this administrator over personal means, yadda yadda. I asked him why and what was going on, trying to explain that a false accusation of this can seriously damage my reputation and recognition as a valued player here, in this community that I love.

And to be responded to by being told that little to no one gave a single shit about my reputation by a member of the staff, the same member who had apparently been doing this to me, my (up until that point) favorite staff member of the Community, favorite player, fuck, favorite person I know in the digital word, out of nowhere... It was...

I can't put a label on the feeling it gave me.

Okay. I've been thinking for numerous minutes on this line of text while writing this post and I can't think of a word. I actually can't.

And so with that in mind, I shut down Skype. I shut down steam, BYOND, closed my forum tabs. And I stared at my desktop, picturing who was laughing at me in deadchat. Who was actually believing that I would ERP in-game, like some kind of sexual deviant who comes on here to pick up girls. That is not me. And to have the paranoid feeling that that label may actually become mine was appalling. I thought about what I could do, be it a forums complaint, but I doubted even myself at that point.

This guy is, or was at the time, a staff member. And a heavily favoured one at that. My best friend on the game, I couldn't just turn on them (like they did me, I should mention, :L), so... 'Whatever,' I thought. 'I'll just leave.' And I mustered the strength to do just that. I posted a single short post that I would be leaving for a while. And so I did. I didn't try to push any farther into it.

It was just a misunderstanding, I thought, but it still had ruined me and my trust in people enough to make, apparently from what I saw, a lot of guys dislike, or just find me as a joke.

But.

I'm not mad at anyone who laughed in deadchat, made a sarcastic comment anywhere, I don't mind. It sickens me to admit this, but had it been anyone else, I would have believed this staff member in question too, and laughed my ass off at whoever they were abusing. So I don't blame any of the main community, or other staff for a single. Thing.

(I've been very afraid of starting these formal arguments, be them complaints or just general talks with staff, because they strangely have ways of turning against me. I've been suspended from school for two days, after the spreader of a rumor on the topic of sexual assault about me revealed to a counselor how I responded, which was simply calling her out on it very harshly, maybe labelling her as a few harsh words, to her face. She faked depression because of it, and suddenly I was a savage. And to make matters worse, it only helped her further the rumor. So I have always been one to fear taking a matter into an official case.)

So yeah. I was a coward about it. I pussied right the fuck out of any chance I had to defend myself at the time, and I'm hugely grateful to whichever anonymous person reported this guy later on for doing something else.

You have my thanks, whoever you might be. You did what I couldn't muster the balls to do. And I suppose it will take people like you to shape this community into as good of one as it has the promise to be. But I will not be returning fully for a little while, mainly because I'm happier elsewhere, and I am still very, very confused as to what the source of this was.

Skull, you should receive a short PM from me asking a few questions about some things. Other than that, my main argument is above, for all of you wondering what happened to see. I don't know the purpose of it, but I just sat down and started typing after noticing this thread, and now this novel above has formed. Eh.

I hope someone reads it, and hopefully gain any better of an understanding as to why I did things in such a way as leaving, instead of making the right decision. Or maybe this is just a bunch of rambling. I'm not even sure I want to read it. But thanks, everyone, and I love you all very specially.

I'll come back when the time is right. Goodbye.

[incognitojesus]

Snip

If I was there, I wouldn't have stood for that. Didn't know about it until recently, to be honest. Don't worry, m8. You got me.

[hivefleetchicken]

TL;DR: (I forgot this)

I left because I feel awkward and confused by the actions of a staff member who I have considered a very close friend of mine since Summer.

I am not angry or anything. Just confused and I need time off from the drama that this game provides so gloriously, so that I can take this community, all of it, and think about what shit is and words and whatever, etc.

[Farcry11]

Snip

 

Fuck whoever had such a lack of moral fibre to do something so terrible to someone as kind, fun loving, and overall likeable as you. Seriously. You're probably my favorite community member, and the fact that someone (a staff member, no less) back stabbed you like that makes me seriously consider leaving myself.

So I guess I'll see you on steam, you magnificent bastard.

[Nik]

That is fucked. Mind you, ERP isn't exactly that bad and all that, but it still is fucked up considering how the average player thinks of the concept.

People need to be smacked. Violently, if that wasn't somehow obvious.

[LetzShake]

literally the worst rule to break in-game,

 

I feel like this is a bit... exaggerated. I mean what you described happening to you was awful, I wouldn't try to diminish that. But that's definitely not the worst rule you could break. I think a lot of people dip a bit too far into ERP sometimes on the server and I don't think it's the worst thing. I mean I wouldn't do that sort of thing on the server, but I don't think someone's a horrible creepy freak if they were to, and I would think a lot less of most people who would act like that was the case.

[Tenenza]

So, I have a very, very, very foggy idea of what happened here, but, I have to say, that, of all the weirdly backstaberashity things that permeate our community, that this feels just malicious. But, I wasn't there, and frankly, I know someone has already been spoken to and whatnot, but, I don't know about you, but I've certainly got the desire to actually talk to several peoples about things now. That sounded better in my head, but, still, valid sentence.

[Guest]

There are a loooooot of things I could be saying that I really shouldn't. So I'll just say that, quite frankly, I'm really fucking tired of the drama. Whether someone did something or not, it needs to be communicated to at least someone or no one is going to be helped by this.

Hive, I think you're one of the grooviest dudes on this server, and I know sure as hell you wouldn't ever be guilty of any intentional rulebreaking. I just don't see that. Blackmail and slander is really shitty. It's happened to me before. I've felt the need to leave communities before, and damn it all if I haven't done it without any regrets.

But, well. I think this guy

I'll hop off my high-but-low horse now.

[Baka]

I am disgusted by this turn of event.

I know that it was one bad apple in the bunch, but I hope this doesn't reflect on the administrative staff of our community, because not everyone is like that. The fact someone used a friendship to hurt someone is wrong and that they were on the team when they done it and abuse their powers doing it is absolute shit.

Hive, we never hated you, and we hope you come back when you're ready. And to anyone, if someone is harassing you, do not accept it. Talk to someone, anyone. Let it be known. It's not right.

[Dea Tacita]

This whole situation makes me extremely sad Hive. I'm deeply sorry it occurred to you and honestly quite pleased that the particular staff member in question is no longer on our staff. I've known you for awhile but honestly never got to really know you or anything, but you've never really been anything but pleasant and this was just wrong to occur

[Guest Marlon Phoenix]

Hive, you're a super cool guy and I think you're really nifty. It's super poopbutt that his occured, and I hope that you return soon.

[Chaznoodles]

Unbelievable. Apologies to Hive for having to go through this. Fair enough to say, this is not something I expected from staff on Aurora, and I am extremely disappointed.

[TishinaStalker]

Fair enough to say, this is not something I expected from staff on Aurora, and I am extremely disappointed.

 

Okay, Chaz, lets stop right there for two minutes. I don't know if this is what you intended or if you just picked terrible words to express yourself, but you are literally saying that you are disappointed in all staff. I don't see how you can possible be disappointed in every single one of us (because that is exactly what your words are expressing) if there's staff that couldn't do anything (Incog & lele) or straight up didn't even know about the situation until it was too late (such as myself and probably Valkrae and/or Doomberg). I assure you that if I had been aware of the situation, and had, had the chance to stop the member of staff, then we probably wouldn't be having this thread in the first place. I'd suggest looking over your words because you're putting all of us in a bad light for the actions of one person.

[Nik]

Fair enough to say, this is not something I expected from staff on Aurora, and I am extremely disappointed.

 

Okay, Chaz, lets stop right there for two minutes. I don't know if this is what you intended or if you just picked terrible words to express yourself, but you are literally saying that you are disappointed in all staff. I don't see how you can possible be disappointed in every single one of us (because that is exactly what your words are expressing) if there's staff that couldn't do anything (Incog & lele) or straight up didn't even know about the situation until it was too late (such as myself and probably Valkrae and/or Doomberg). I assure you that if I had been aware of the situation, and had, had the chance to stop the member of staff, then we probably wouldn't be having this thread in the first place. I'd suggest looking over your words because you're putting all of us in a bad light for the actions of one person.

 

Eh. I think you may be over-reading into that. To me it says that Chaz expects and know's that our staff isn't a pile of goons and things, and that doing such things is way beyond what is expected.

I don't see any specific stating a disapointment in the multiple, but a generalization that he presume's that everyone isn't a bugger.

[Valkrae]

Hive, you're a super cool guy and I think you're really nifty. It's super poopbutt that his occured, and I hope that you return soon.

 

I second this. Hive is a superbutt. Wait.. No.

You know what I mean.