Zelmana

I realize that with such a long post going off on prose and syntax, I might as well have had some proofs from the above commenters. Note- I'm not in a position of authority or anything on this and my intent is to help show you where others are seeing the same things that I am seeing. I would recommend playing a roleplay heavy job to improve. That means something like Bartender or Chaplain (Chaplain is very very hard to do well). Ideally, with a flavor text and customize some items on your loadout to add flair. Utilize good emotes as something like a bartender, and use italics, bold, and proper punctuation to create an interesting and pleasant to read conversation. Create a believable backstory beyond a person who has a job to do. Something they can talk about, relate to other characters, and be explored by other players for fun.

Keeping in mind, and this is something that I am amazed at- your punctuation and writing style on the forums is admirable. Yet in-game it is just lacking so much. Why?

Forgive me for the length of this post, but from my observations you are very good at receiving feedback so I do not wish to hold back per se, because I believe you can improve if given proper feedback. My intent here is to instruct not only you but others in the community on better syntax and prose. Regarding your above post, I didn't complain about conflicting orders, and understood there was a radio jammer in Science/on the perp. However, what I did mention, was lack of overall roleplay standards. Some notable things that stood out to me, My character held his hand out to shake and I waited around 30 seconds and you never noticed, or reacted at all when I then emoted that I awkwardly returned it to my side. You never properly capitalized titles. Many times throughout the round I saw lack of proper punctuation such as good commas to support sentence flow. Tonation and Utilizing Italics & Bolding It is typically expected that someone in Command has a better grasp of grammar, and develops a tone of writing. Character tone is incredibly important to having a well thought out character. When you forego punctuation entirely, your character lacks proper intonation. Additionally, I do not recall you ever utilizing the SS13 specific text markup for assisting with even further tone/intonation that I would expect from a good roleplay. Those are the things that italicize or bold words for proper tone. For example, my Captain character will often be very cool and collected in speech, but will emphasize certain words with italics to show an elongated pronunciation of a word. Using bold and italics for different stresses of speech are what I'd classify as detail oriented roleplay. If it is lacking your characters will seem bland and one dimensional. In contrary, my bartender character is a synthetic. They speak very concise and robotic. They are utterly, and entirely, unemotional and totally service-oriented. My main grief- in a conversation about a completely mundane topic, say, Skrellian Delicacies, could one tell a difference if they were speaking to Ben vs. speaking to Fyodor? I don't think so. They don't change the way they speak, they have no difference in tone, roleplay speaking cadence, or things like that. Using Emotes While you do use emotes, they're not on the same level as some heightened standards of Command. Simple nods are the waterline but more is great. Again, the handshake thing- sounds like a simple miss but it notates to everyone around you're either not paying attention or can't keep up with the flow of roleplay chat. Punctuation Simply put, you do not separate clauses well. Use commas to separate independent clauses when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet. You don't have to be perfect on this, but it makes a big difference when it comes to reading and sentence flow. Personally, it completely takes me out of my immersion if someone types like this: McCool Commander says, "Okay I got it I will be heading to the armory." McCool Commander says, "Warden see to it that the weapons are dispersed." I am not a betting man, but I would be comfortable guessing that people who type like this rest easy knowing that our game will do the absolute minimum- that is, capitalize the first letter of your speech input and add a period. Wouldn't it be much better to read something like this: McCool Commander says, "Okay, I got it- I'll be heading to the armory. Warden, see to it that the weapons are dispersed." Note that although there is use of a dashed line here, and that may not be 100% grammatically correct, in roleplay syntax it is utilized as a pause in speech. While some of our Command lack in some areas of the above writing advice, I put emphasis on some. Continually toeing the line on many of these sections, purely from a roleplay syntax and writing style, is lacking some advanced roleplay standards. Keeping in mind, none of this directly implicates your in-character actions, or lack thereof, and the grievances that some other users may have written. My main point in this is to show you that specific area of improvement, prose, syntax, and emotes.

I think a lot of these are from a Fyodor round last evening, around the time of posting.

I would like to see you raise the bar on your current standard of roleplay, namely grammar. That means proper capitalization of proper titles and utilizing commas where needed.

Originally going to post this as a shitpost to offtopic, but it is unironically something that should be removed from the menu.

If spawn as rat is diabled for everyone but staff, then it doesn't need to be in the menu. It's never enabled. It's a holdover flag of victory that looms over mousemains and quality mouse rp from the mouse debate. No, I'm not being ironic. Quit rubbing I can't play mouse in my face.

Color selector for synthskin on shells would be kino too if synth dev permits.... Think of the Golden Deep possibilities i beg you...

I remember Fluffys first day, and it was rough. They've certainly grown a lot since their grey days and I feel like this could be another step in their roleplay capability. I would like to see them in command whitelist and to see how that drives them to improve.

Niko Kimura, Martian Midjourney AI Generated Image

CON'T PROMPT 2, ANSWER B: (Request: Tell me about Niko Kimura's experiences after moving to a megacorporate ship called the SCC Horizon) Niko Kimura has recently accepted a new job opportunity on the SCC Horizon, a massive megacorporate ship owned and operated by the Solarian Consolidated Corporation (SCC). The ship is one of the largest and most advanced in the solar system, and is responsible for transporting goods and passengers between the various colonies and habitats in the solar system. Niko was excited to take on this new challenge and begin working on the ship, which he saw as a great opportunity to further his career and gain valuable experience. Upon arriving on the SCC Horizon, Niko was immediately struck by the scale and complexity of the ship. With its massive engines, advanced robotics systems, and state-of-the-art facilities, the SCC Horizon was like nothing Niko had ever seen before. He quickly settled into his new quarters, which were small but comfortable, and began exploring the ship to get a feel for its layout and operations. As he settled into his new role on the SCC Horizon, Niko quickly found himself working long hours in the ship's engineering department, where he was responsible for maintaining and repairing the various systems and equipment that kept the ship running smoothly. Despite the demanding nature of his work, Niko enjoyed the sense of purpose and accomplishment he felt as he worked to keep the SCC Horizon running at peak efficiency. In his free time, Niko took advantage of the many amenities the ship had to offer, including a gym, a library, and even a small park where he could go for a walk and enjoy some fresh air. He also made some new friends among his coworkers and the other passengers on the ship, and found himself enjoying the close-knit community that had formed aboard the SCC Horizon. Overall, Niko's experiences on the SCC Horizon have been both challenging and rewarding, and he looks forward to continuing his work on the ship as it travels throughout the solar system, connecting people and places in ways that were previously unimaginable.

CON'T PROMPT 2, ANSWER A: (Request: Create a Character in this Setting) Meet Niko Kimura, a 25-year-old engineer living and working in the arcology of New Tianjin on Mars. Niko was born and raised on Mars, the child of two former Earth immigrants who had come to the red planet in search of a better life. Growing up, Niko was always fascinated by the inner workings of technology and machines, and he excelled in his studies in engineering and robotics. After completing his education, he landed a job at one of the largest tech companies on Mars, where he works as a design engineer, developing new technologies for use in the harsh Martian environment. In his free time, Niko enjoys tinkering with his own personal robotics projects and exploring the surface of Mars, often taking his all-terrain rover out for long, solo expeditions across the planet's rugged landscape. He is also a member of the Mars Mountaineering Club, a group of thrill-seekers who enjoy the challenge of climbing the planet's tallest peaks. Despite the dangers of living and working on Mars, Niko is optimistic about the future of the planet and the people who call it home, and he is determined to make a difference in the world through his work and his passions.

RESPONSE TO PROMPT 2, ANSWER A: (Request: Expand upon the lore) The Violet Dawn disaster is a catastrophic event that occurred on Mars in the year 2550. It is not clear exactly what caused the disaster, but it is known to have involved massive fires that spread across the planet, causing widespread destruction and poisoning the atmosphere. The event had a devastating impact on Mars, killing many of the planet's inhabitants and destroying much of its infrastructure. It is also believed to have disrupted the planet's electromagnetic shield, which had previously protected it from harmful radiation. In the aftermath of the disaster, the survivors were forced to rebuild their communities and adapt to a new, harsher reality on the red planet. Despite the challenges, they have managed to establish a new way of life on Mars and continue to thrive in the face of adversity.

PROMPT 2: The Entire "History" Section of Mars: https://wiki.aurorastation.org/index.php?title=Mars

RESPONSE A2: (Re-roll of PROMPT A) As the newest member of the SCCV Horizon crew, you were excited to be part of the team exploring the unknown regions of space. The Horizon was one of the most advanced ships in the Conglomerate's fleet, and you knew that being a part of its crew was a once in a lifetime opportunity. As the ship made its way through the Human Wildlands, you were on the bridge when the alarms suddenly sounded. The captain's voice came over the intercom, ordering everyone to their stations. You rushed to the engineering deck, heart racing as you prepared for whatever was coming. When you arrived, the chief engineer was already barking orders at the rest of the crew. "We've got an incoming vessel," she said, her voice laced with tension. "They're demanding we surrender control of the ship." You exchanged a worried glance with your fellow crewmates, knowing that giving up the Horizon would mean the end of your mission and potentially even your lives. But before you could come up with a plan, the chief engineer turned to you and the others. "We're not going down without a fight," she said firmly. "I need you to gather whatever weapons and supplies you can find and meet me on the main deck in five minutes. We're going to defend our ship." As you hurried to gather what you needed, your mind raced with fear and determination. You knew that the odds were against you, but you also knew that giving up was not an option. When you arrived on the main deck, the chief engineer had already set up a defense perimeter and was issuing orders to the rest of the crew. You took your place at the front lines, heart pounding as you waited for the enemy vessel to make its move. When it finally did, you and the others opened fire, determined to defend the Horizon and your lives. The battle was fierce and lasted for what felt like an eternity, but eventually, you and the rest of the crew emerged victorious. The enemy vessel was destroyed and the Horizon was safe. As you and the others celebrated your victory, you couldn't help but feel proud of what you had accomplished. You had faced incredible odds and come out on top, and you knew that you had proven yourself to be a valuable member of the SCCV Horizon crew. From now on, you were ready for whatever the universe had in store for you.

RESPONSE A1: As the captain of the SCCV Horizon, a joint venture between the Stellar Corporate Conglomerate and NanoTrasen, I had always been proud to serve under the banner of the most powerful corporation in the galaxy. But as we entered the Orion Spur, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. It had been three months since the phoron scarcity hit, and tensions were high between the corporations as they fought for control of the remaining deposits. The Solarian Alliance was on the verge of collapse, and the Human Wildlands were a hotbed of chaos and violence. As we approached our destination, a small mining colony on the outskirts of known space, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were walking into a trap. My fears were confirmed as we entered the colony's airspace and were immediately hailed by an unfamiliar ship. "This is the SCCV Horizon, identify yourselves," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "We are the Dionae Collective," a calm, almost hypnotic voice replied. "We have come to claim this colony and its phoron deposits for ourselves." I knew the Dionae were a peaceful species, but I also knew they were not to be underestimated. Their advanced technology and telepathic abilities made them formidable opponents. "I'm sorry, but this colony is under the jurisdiction of the Stellar Corporate Conglomerate," I said, hoping to negotiate a peaceful resolution. "Your corporations mean nothing to us," the Dionae replied. "We will not be swayed by your greed. Leave now, or face the consequences." I knew I had no choice but to retreat. We couldn't risk a conflict with the Dionae, not with the phoron scarcity already causing enough problems. As we turned back towards the Core Worlds, I couldn't help but wonder what other challenges we would face in this new, unstable era of humanity's expansion into the stars.

PROPMT A: Make a story in the following setting: The year is 2464 CE (Common Era). Humanity has long since began its trek into space, and explored territory reaches out dozens of lightyears in every direction. After a century beyond the 2000's, flourishing cities had been established in nearby systems such as Tau Ceti and Eridani Federation, and in the centuries that would follow, hundreds of systems would fall under the control of Humanity. Outposts on garden worlds became metropolises in the span of decades. Entire asteroids and moons were mined out, hostile worlds were terraformed and subdued by growing corporations that began to become the dominant economic powers of Human space. Some humans have decided to roam the Orion Spur for the rest of their lives, living on their vessels and developing their own culture. The endeavors into the final frontier were founded beneath the unified banner of the Sol Alliance - a fading galactic government which exercises official control over the majority of the Human population. At the end of the 22nd century, the power and influence of the Sol Alliance was at its height, but this soon came to an end as an unexpected economic collapse found trans-stellar corporations picking away at Sol Alliance authority piece by piece. In the middle of the prosperity and strife, transtellars have for centuries embarked to make massive profits. The major corporate players had managed to establish a stable, if shaky peace between themselves, with no single corporation able to completely dominate the others. The foremost megacorporations would ultimately end up becoming the following: NanoTrasen Corporation, Einstein Engines, Hephaestus Industries,Idris Incorporated, Zeng-Hu Pharmaceuticals, and Zavodskoi Interstellar. Together, they exercised total economic control over the known galaxy. Any semblance of equilibrium between the mega-corps was shattered with NanoTrasen's discovery of the element Phoron in 2417. Phoron is a powerful element which is highly sought after for its untold capabilities and use in the average starship drive. After discovering Phoron, NanoTrasen quickly established a monopoly on it, with themselves sitting on the largest deposits in the known galaxy. The times that followed sent NanoTrasen skyrocketing to unofficially become the foremost power over Humanity. Through determination and overwhelming wealth, it and the other megacorporations have become the dominant governing force over the expanse of the Orion Spur. Humanity is far from alone in the Spur, with multiple other sentient species taking to interstellar travel and contesting Humanity’s claim to the stars. In 2332, the Skrell were discovered, and since, a plethora of others were encountered, including the crafty Tajara, the proud Unathi, the enigmatic Vaurcae, and the elegant Dionae. Many more exist, and while most are simply apathetic to humanity, others are openly hostile. If one thing can be said to unite the various species, it is the drive to control the powerful element Phoron. After late 2462 and the beginning of the massive phoron scarcity, the Solarian Alliance has begun its final collapse. Thus far, its jurisdiction has retreated to the Core Worlds and the area around Earth, while other major factions rushed to fill the power vacuum. Chaos has stricken the former Alliance territories for the most part - now labelled the Human Wildlands. Now, the corporations - outside of the Alliance at least, have banded together under the ultimate authority of the Stellar Corporate Conglomerate. This new force promises to safeguard the financial livelihood of every living being in the known galaxy. With the “big five” corporations taking the stage, anything could happen. Only Einstein Engines remains to contest their power financially, supporting a crippled Alliance whose forces have largely revolted amidst the Wildlands. The SCCV Horizon is under the joint control of the Stellar Corporate Conglomerate, a holdings corporation that has significant influence over the direction of the setting. You, among others, have been assigned to work aboard the SCCV Horizon, a state-of-the-art general-purpose vessel that travels across the Orion Spur with the primary objective to uncover Phoron, however, secondary objectives exist at the whim of the Stellar Corporate Conglomerate.

I decided to have a little fun! I took the liberty of grabbing some lore basics from the wiki, and I dropped them into Chat-GPT to see what can happen. Some results are semi-agreeable with Lore, but I'd like to have this topic/thread to discuss this, as well as showcase any Aurora-related AI text generation. Perhaps a cool topic would be character creation!

Simply put Mars has a few things going for it- Poor, Gutter Culture, Reds vs Blues Rootin Tootin Pepper Violet Dawn Don't neuter a cornerstone of Mars.

Good paragraph, thanks lore team. If you gut gutter from Mars you will be effectively removing a major cornerstone of their rebellious and independent mentality, which has been its primary theme. Now that it is majority destroyed, the only thing Mars really has left is some of its remaining culture. Not many "new" stuff coming out of Mars. To take away the language would kick Mars-characters while they're down.

I know it can be used currently- my only concern is danse's long explanation, though I may have read it wrong. We need to be careful not to remove Martian culture.

Anecdotally, a majority of people who speak Gutter/Freespeak are Martian. And is so with our lore- before our the CoC was developed especially. To remove a Gutteral backalley/pirate/rebelious language from Mars is disappointing.

++dmi cigtin.dmi

BYOND Key: Zelmana Discord Username: Zelm#0001 Character Name: Item Name: (if you are applying for multiple items, it should be made into a list with the description, name and appearance together): martian cigarette case Item Function(s): A small, personal cigarette tin. It holds cigarettes similar to a cigarette packet but has some nice flair. Item Description: Why is your character bringing this item to work?: To hold his Dromedarys How did your character obtain this item?: Bought it at a Gutter market on a trip to Mars 10 years ago. It had little significance to him until the Violet Dawn. What value does this item have to your character, and what story does it tell?: Sean Brianne is a companyman. He keeps his appearance tight, and enjoys some vintage aesthetics when it comes to his office casual look. Like many Martians, and much of the station, he's fond of smoking, and it's one of his favorite vices. A Captain can't be carrying around dispoable packets of low-grade tobacco, however. It should ride in style. In a way, it's a reflection of the character itself- Gutter trash on the inside, neat and tidy on the outside. Sprites: It showcased next to the Olympus Mons drink color pallete, which was the inspo for color. Additional Comments: I had previously a teapot on this character but I believe it was removed around 2020 due to some inactivity. I'd like this character to have some nice flair again since he is kind of an older face on the server. As always with custom items, they can be conversation items. Since he frequents the bar or is often smoking, a cool, suave, carrying tin can add some flavor while piquing nearby characters interest to Mars, something I always try to encourage lore-interest wise. Lastly, thanks to the yearly Sekrit Santer for spritework.