Mofo1995

Application approved.

While I'm fine with characters not having their lives centered on Adhomai, I do have to ask. What does Luna think about the current political situation on Adhomai? What impact has the second revolution had on her life?

One more day, please! 19 November will be the day.

Oh, all righty. I'll deny it for now. Hope to see you around again!

I will be reviewing this tomorrow.

Let's take it from the top. There's nothing on the wiki about sensitive adrenal glands. I strongly recommend against Tajara players being what we used to call "sassy cats." There was an epidemic for awhile 2 years back where anyone who insulted Tajara wound up getting clawed in the face. It was wildly unpopular and got shut down. Being a prideful traditionalist who doesn't take kindly to insults is a-okay and even encouraged if it's the angle you're going for, but escalation to physical violence tends to need more than casual racism. I'm pretty confused already. Let me run through a few bits of uncommon lore, one piece of which is a bit buried in the news article by now. Conscription to the Republican Army (Grand People's Army) wasn't a thing while Al'Mari Hadii was president. It was a purely volunteer army up until late 2457/early 2458 when his (now president) brother Malik Hadii passed it into law. IN the most famous assassination of Tajaran history, Al-Mari Hadii was killed in 2451, leading to the outbreak of the current war between his brother and his best friend who was commander of all the armed forces. But there's further confusion here. See, the Republican Army was heavily influenced by human advisers with brigades and divisions etc. But Alam'ard and Alam'ardii specifically refer to the Imperial Adhomian Army of the New Kingdom of Adhomai. So I'm a bit confused here if Jraz has joined the People's Republic of Adhomai's Republican Army or the New Kingdom of Adhomai's Imperial Army. Most Imperial Dragoons are M'sai, I don't really see why being an M'sai would stand in his way. Historically speaking, the socio-ethnic relations were that M'sai were the right hand enforcers of the Njarir working class. Of course that's a generalization, but Dragoons were often M'sai because of their lighter forms. The way this application keeps going on, it leaves me with the impression that Jraz was a member of the NKA and the Imperial Army rather than the PRA and the Republican Army, but with the intro I'm not quite sure. Could you elaborate?

Spicy maymays friendo! Very smart jokes

Hello! This slipped under my radar until now. I'm going to be reviewing this application tomorrow since I have work in a few hours and still need to sleep. See you then!

For now, I'm going to deny this application. I can't really put my finger on it, maybe it's the very rough English, but I wasn't really left with a sense that this passes our standards. It's kind of hard to give a thorough criticism on it given the state it's in, but I'll see what I can point out. I think the first and foremost one is the fact that her father was one of the head generals of the nobility's forces. Well, it's entirely possible I suppose that he could've been a general in one of the monarch's service. It's worth noting that while Adhomai was de facto globalist prior to the communist uprisings, it took the revolutions for it to actually become a single-state planet. Each nation did have their own militaries, but going even further beyond, most retained a mostly fuedal-like system with local nobles maintaining their own private armies which were called into service by their corresponding superior nobleman. So there's a lot up for interpretation there to justify Al-Shirani's father's occupation. The application also isn't very clear about what Al-Shirani was educated in, as well as what her occupation on the Aurora would be. I'm not sure if I'm reading it right, but my guesses would be that she learned combat and military history and wants to become a security officer? At any rate, I don't mean to trash your application, but it is a bit difficult to understand in its current form. You have received a lot of feedback endorsing your roleplay, so that's great, but at the moment an understanding of Tajara lore is what needs to be proven through the application process. I say give it two weeks to build up even more playtime on the server, grammar workshop a new application when you get around to making a new one, and try again. I think you can do it.

I will be reviewing this application tomorrow.

Hadii Approves Great Tajara Rights Advance 01.11.2459 Today the People's Congress congregated in the Steeple to vote on emergency legislation pertaining to Tajara rights issues raised by the international community. The "Tajara Rights Act of 2459" passed with a mere 52% of the vote following three hours of heated debate in the People's Congress. Representatives from both NanoTrasen and the Sol Alliance were present and voiced strong support for the act. Among the items proposed in the bill are improved conditions in work camps, better medical relief efforts for refugees from areas of conflict, and a reduction of homosexuality to a misdemeanor. The bill was rushed to President Hadii's office after passing in the People's Congress and signed into law effective immediately. The Tajara Rights Act of 2459 is noteworthy for being the only legislation in the history of the People's Republic to not have passed with at least 80% of the vote, however this ultimately turned out to be due to insidious corruption which had seeped into the People's Congress. In the hours following the vote, agents of the Ministry of Internal Affairs took many of the congressmen into custody following the discovery of scandals connecting many of them to radical elements with rebel ties. While many of them were taken into custody, at least seven of them have escaped with the help of rebels, leaving behind manifestos condemning our enlightened government. After the situation was settled, the Sol Alliance confirmed their investigation into inflation from the Nal'Tor Mint has been closed, following conclusive evidence of rebel counterfeiting operations among the files found in the various congressmens' offices during the Ministry of Internal Affairs arrests.

I want this for the sole purpose of tails being removable.

It's not a bad application and you have positive feedback. There's no red flags and your playtime is clearly present. There were quite a few grammatical issues, but so long as it isn't so bad as to indicate you wouldn't be able to roleplay in English, I give it a pass. Not really much to say here in the way of constructive criticism. Application approved.

It's not that your application raises any red flags or other warning signs, aside from the only character name offered being the character you applied to play. But it's not very strong. Lu'Naras backstory doesn't really say much, just that her family let her take off to human space and that she wants to learn from humans to help her people. Which I like as a concept, but I'm not really seeing a demonstration of lore understanding. The biggest issue I have is playtime. You've only be here on the server for about four days and made this application a day before playing. While there isn't a rule against importing characters so long as it's properly translated to our server's lore, I'm going to have to ask that you give it a couple weeks and some more playtime before applying. I think you could easily get a whitelist. Application denied.

I will be reviewing this within the next 24 hours.

I will be reviewing this within the next 24 hours.

It all checks out, then! Checking the web interface, you're no slouch on playtime either, which clears the last condition. Application approved.

Massive improvement! Let's dig in. His last name is "Blood." At first I thought, "man that's dumb." But when I really think about it, no way dude. It's actually really cool. He's a Njarir'Ahkran, and he's a battlefield medic turned surgeon. He's dealing with blood all the time. I dunno if that was intentional, but either way, I give it a free pass for rule of cool. N-NANI!? This is a very strong paragraph. His childhood isn't something which is just thrown in to make him seem like a more well rounded character. What I strongly appreciate is the causality which this establishes linking his development as a person to experiences in his childhood. His naivety stemmed from his parents' spoiling, ultimately blossoming into disillusionment when his world view was broken by cynicism. His ability to study medicine from his family wealth. His stammer in times of stress and short temper from his abusive nanny. The only unbelievable part of the application. The Imperial Adhomian Army is the least trained and most inept of the three armies on Adhomai, save for the untrained guerrilla fighters of the ALA. It's more likely they would've just thrown him in with minimal instruction. Does that mean this has to be changed or retconned? Absolutely not! Maybe he used his family influence to get the full education treatment before shipping off. He's a noble, after all. The only thing that stands out here as jarring is the sudden jump from becoming jaded while still in the service to being on Biesel studying to become a surgeon. But this transition in general has often been a challenge to write through, even for me. Even so, I would like you to attempt to make that jump. My go-to suggestion is utilization of the rampant smuggling operations on Adhomai to get off planet. There are also some other questions I wouldn't mind answered. Do Izzat and his parents still get along? Are they still even alive?

Ah! I'm so sorry I didn't notice it sooner. I'll post my review tomorrow! EDIT: ETA late tonight, got called into work :/

Wait, was this actually posted on the 12th?

There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. While I'm usually willing to bend the whitelist application rule to have to be from Adhomai if the application is really really really good, it hasn't happened yet. Human minded Tajara was pretty majority of Tajara characters before the rule was put in place, so it doesn't make for a very dazzling character concept. The reason the rule was implemented was because a lot of players just didn't know the lore and used it as an excuse for ignorance. For your whitelist application character, please design a character concept which demonstrates proper understanding and range of knowledge about the lore. Only the Tajara main page on the wiki is required reading, all the other pages are fluff for whomever is interested. Application denied, but I think armed with that knowledge you could probably make a passing application.