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Forensics Redux

Susan

By Susan
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Susan NanoTrasen Commander

Susan

Posted
Posted

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Greetings, fellow forensic technician! I see you're getting accustomed to your new lab rather well. While that's good and all, you'll notice some very serious changes to the standard equipment allotted to forensic investigators here. No more dinky scanner! The company finally upped our budget. That said, however, I feel it is imperative that I re-instruct you on how to use some of these high-tech and scary machines. While I'm sure this must seem like a waste of time for you given your credentials, I think it'd still be best just to touch base. After all, who knows? You could have become a slovenly, dim-witted sloth after mindlessly scanning things for all these years! Ho ho ho.


Let's go over your equipment!

 

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I'm sure even you know what this is. That's right! Your very own crime scene kit, stylishly made from the finest materials with a stainless steel exterior and plush velvet lining. Even the largest tools will feel comfortable here! And you probably could clock somebody in the head with it if you really wanted to.


 

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Ah, this takes me back to my days in university. Fingerprinting dust and accompanying brush. A very crude but effective method, it has been employed by humans for hundreds of years and we have somehow refined the act of taking prints into an art. What's that? You don't know what fingerprinting dust is? Ho ho ho! I've forgotten. Yes, your NanoTrasen brand All-In-One scanning device handled that for you before, didn't it? Well, don't worry. Your scanner won't be picking up prints anymore. Oh, don't look so sad! It's not hard! Just sprinkle a bit of dust on the brush and carefully search for prints. Easy as pie! (pie not included.)

 

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Now here we- No, don't drink that! Goodness, what kind of forensic technician are you anyway...? Ah well, regardless, here we have one of my personal favorite tools, luminol! And a stylish pair of orange goggles to go along with it. Yes, I bet you feel all foolish now that you tried to drink- hmmh? You don't... know what luminol is either? Oh dear. Well, you see, blood is a very tricky substance to clean properly. Washing a pair of shoes in the sink or tossing your clothes in the washer won't get rid of the trace amounts of blood, and luminol is so named for how it illuminates when it comes into contact with these traces of blood! Though I'm sure you're aware of that, since your NanoTrasen scanner should... what's that? It didn't pick up blood not visible to the naked eye? A shame. Don't worry now, however! Luminol will reveal all the secrets your perps try to hide with a bar of soap.


Get some bleach, kids!

 

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Cotton swabs! No, these aren't for cleaning your ears. Sit down already, Christ. Instead, these are invaluable tools for the intrepid investigator! Carefully sterilized tips allow for the precise collection of samples from saliva to blood and even swabbing the palms of a suspected gunman! Any evidence you collect with your swabs will be processed by our highly specialized machinery (which will be detailed soon, calm down, kid) which will help you hammer those final nails in the coffin of the perp. Since your scanner isn't good for DNA anymore, you can collect it from blood pools or drops with a swab and get the DNA of suspects by swabbing the inside of the mouth! But what makes it even better is that you can also instead choose to swab their palms for gunshot residue (woah, big words!) and examine the collection under a microscope to determine whether or not the suspect has fired a weapon.


The power of science!

 

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Stop pushing the goddamn buttons. You didn't even let me finish speaking. Company hiring policies must be in the shitter.


Right. This here is NanoTrasen's patented Quik-Skan (TM, patent pending) DNA scanning computer. Simply insert the vials you have containing a valid DNA sample, press the start button, and watch it buzz and whir as it reads and then prints data for each sample inserted! Woah! Cool! Action figures not included!

 

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Ah, microscopes. The mainstay of any worthwhile scientist. That's why R&D doesn't have any.


Ho ho ho.


Regardless, the microscope is an equally important tool in your forensic arsenal! Examination of swab samples allow you to locate gunshot residue left behind after the firing of a gun, and you can even put blood under the microscope! That way you can look at how awful and diseased that nurse down in medbay is from all the time she spends with the chief of medicine and the rest of medical bay! Don't let it touch you, though. Unless you want shingles, of course.


Now that you're equipped with all the knowledge you need, let's see how you employ these tools in the field!

 

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Atta boy! You've made me proud. Now I have someone else to do my job for me. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to Space Bermuda. Have fun, kid!


And don't drink the luminol!

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Blue Chief Medical Officer

Blue

Posted
Posted
Question, what about the old detective wear? Is that staying? Also, what about the detective gun?

 

He's getting some more modern attire, sadly.


As for the gun, it's either getting nerfed or replaced.

"Sadly"

 

Yes sadly. His outfit made him look like a badass. And he had the most uniform choices of any job.

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Skull132 Faithless

Skull132

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/me 'cries with joy and sadness.'

So beautiful yet so hard to get the slot as is.

 

Running plan is to have this coupled with the forever-in-the-works update that replaces the Detective and IAA with the Forensic Tech, Investigator/Detective and Internal Adviser. Basically, it should make the position more playable.

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Frances Artificial Intelligence

Frances

Posted
Posted
Can we also have another detective slot added in? It sucks when the detective is investigating something on the mining outpost after a mysterious murder occurs in the medbay.

Two detectives would end up stepping on each other's toes more often than not, I feel. A detective and forensics tech gives enough opportunity for teamwork and proper division of cases (when cases do happen), having three investigative characters is just overkill.

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incognitojesus Captain

incognitojesus

Posted
Posted
Can we also have another detective slot added in? It sucks when the detective is investigating something on the mining outpost after a mysterious murder occurs in the medbay.

Two detectives would end up stepping on each other's toes more often than not, I feel. A detective and forensics tech gives enough opportunity for teamwork and proper division of cases (when cases do happen), having three investigative characters is just overkill.

I can already see the Detective and Forensics Tech stepping on each other's toes already, to be honest. Most players wouldn't know the difference at the start of all this...whenever all this starts.

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Erik Tiber Head of Personnel

Erik Tiber

Posted
Posted
Can we also have another detective slot added in? It sucks when the detective is investigating something on the mining outpost after a mysterious murder occurs in the medbay.

Two detectives would end up stepping on each other's toes more often than not, I feel. A detective and forensics tech gives enough opportunity for teamwork and proper division of cases (when cases do happen), having three investigative characters is just overkill.

I can already see the Detective and Forensics Tech stepping on each other's toes already, to be honest. Most players wouldn't know the difference at the start of all this...whenever all this starts.

Do medical doctors often do autopsies? I only remember a single autopsy being done in my entire time here (though this is just a few weeks), even though I've exclusively played Medbay.

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Susan NanoTrasen Commander

Susan

Posted
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Realistically speaking, they shouldn't be. At least autopsies performed on murder victims.


There are four types of autopsies in two categories; medical and legal autopsies. Forensic autopsies are legal ones and are performed when the cause of death may be a criminal matter. Contrastingly, a clinical or academic autopsy is performed to find the medical cause of death and is often used for research purposes.


Basically, you have...


Forensic autopsies performed by a coroner.


Clinical or pathological autopsies are performed for research purposes or to diagnose a disease.


Academic autopsies are performed by students on cadavers.


Then you have virtual autopsies which are performed using an MRI. Something along those lines.


So, strictly speaking, a medical doctor has no business performing a forensic autopsy. They are typically performed by coroners; a state has a handful of coroner's in its employ and they 99% of the time handle bodies related to a murder or other loss of life due to a criminal. The minimum qualifications to serve as a forensic pathologist include a doctorate with a specialty in general anatomy as well as a study into forensic medicine. Also, coroners are government officials, really. The skill set required for a legal autopsy would more than likely fall under the role of Forensics Tech than it would Medical Doctor unless you're playing a specially skilled doctor.


Then you have medical examiners which are like psuedocoroners since some jurisdictions of the United States use them instead of coroners but explaining this gigantic web of semantics (and also other bullshit because each state has it's own requirements for a coroner/medical examiner) would take like forever. So there you have the reason why medical should not perform autopsies. They're not qualified unless otherwise stated by an individual doctor.


Anyway, that aside, progress!

 

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