Character Feedback - Shane Castralo

[Kryostro]

Just wanted to see what people thought about my character, who is made with the concept of being stupid and having more cons then pros. 

 

So no, I'm not LRP.

Edited May 5, 2019 by Kryostro
Because I wanted to get this off the search engine originally, but whatever.

[Mofo1995]

I just always think of this, and start giggling. That's the only feedback I've got.

[BurgerBB]

Generally I think the character is unbelievable. Incredibly unbelievable to the point where I considered multiple times writing a character complaint over their behavior. They have many infractions to the point where if you combined all the other infractions each other crew member has on high pop, Shane Castralo will still have more infractions. They shouldn't even be working for NanoTrasen, let alone be given janitorial all-access on a top of the line research station. Merely mentioning the name "Shane Castralo" would be a valid argument for supporting the removal of the common channel. They always insult people excessively, they literally scream and complain over comms when someone does any sort of wrong towards them. Most crewmembers do this sort of thing because everyone feels they must have a say in something, but Shane Castralo does this EXCESSIVELY.

When not bothering people over comms, I always see them acting like a child, roaming the hall with foam weapons and shooting/hitting people, sometimes straight up assaulting people, and stealing things. Consistently they're the center of attention and the cause of every petty conflict. When they're traitor, it's always "Shane Castrallo breaks down because people bullied him." and he makes this super clear when he's traitor. Every time I see them screaming on comms about how everyone is terrible and how he's the victim, I know it's a traitor round. Much like how there being 0 security members on highpop is a good indicator that it's merc/heist, Shane Castralo acting more insane than usual is a good indicator it's autotraitor.

I'm sure it's incredibly fun to play Shane Castralo, but I feel for others it isn't. I'm starting to develop terms to describe this behavior, I call this "Main Character Syndrome" where instead of knowing that they're interacting with other people, they act like everyone else is an NPC and they do not consider that there are other players playing. I had quite an unpleasant interaction with them one day, where while I was actively treating a patient suffering from burns, they decided to just drag them away from me. I have no fucking clue why, but they just dragged them away from me while they were in critical condition. They didn't even do the smart thing and drag them towards medical, they dragged them towards the bar thinking that there would be medical treatment there. I just really feel that when their character does things, they do not consider the consequences, ICly and OOCly, of their actions. For this reason, I strongly believe that they're a really bad character and are in desperate need of improvement.

[Trazz666]

I used to like Shane. He was fun, timid, bully-able, and was always fun to tease. He was the one person who you could grab and drag into maint for a good old fashion noogie or swirlie without them flipping out unrealistically and attacking metafearing being parapenned or succ'd. Shane used to get paralyzed with fear and actually act out true fear reflective of someone his age.

Now he's just another screaming asshole. I'm still going to steal his janicart though.

[MattAtlas]

If you're afraid of making a character feedback thread, you did something wrong, somewhere.

[Doxxmedearly]

I actually find myself agreeing with Burger. I don't hate the idea of obnoxious, socially-inept, immature characters. But it's gotten to the point where instead of being even remotely believable, he's a caricature of negative traits. It's getting harder and harder to suspend my disbelief that Shane would remain employed in any job. Screaming over the radio is also becoming more than just irritating ICly.

Additionally, sometimes Shane's antag gimmick is just "be slightly more annoying than usual." This isn't good. Nobody says your gimmick has to involve killing, or raiding the vault, or whatever, but just being a larger nuisance doesn't tend to add much to the round. I've had to shift around some exploitable info because he either did the same gimmick with it every time, or just decided that he would just use it as a minor insult before running off. If he's going to antag, he has to change it up now and then, and take more impactful actions.

I think you need to dial back the overt immaturity. Running around in costumes with foam weapons is something I'd expect on Paradise. Sure, maybe he wants to carry a foam sword around, or wear a silly mask or hat. But full costume, brandishing the fake weapon, running around screaming and shooting people with darts? It doesn't fit the environment. You can show Shane's immature personality without being so OOCly obnoxious about it. As Burger said, he feels very center-stage. There's a difference between wanting to be the center of attention ICly vs OOCly. Right now it feels more the latter, which is bad for a roleplaying game, which is cooperative by nature.

I think showing the effects of Shane's perceived bullying is something you should explore more, with more people, instead of just using it as your "I've snapped" traitor gimmick. I find it very hard to interact with him with ANY character, which is kind of a shame? I think you rely too much on his clique (At this point, I'd even call it a metaclique). It may be time to allow more people to have extended interactions with him that don't involve him just saying something stupid/insulting and running off to do something ridiculous. Not even chair RP; just three sentences of a normal conversation would be a great start.

You may wish to seek more help ICly (therapy, etc) to further personality shifts. Overall, I think Shane can be a good "love-to-hate/dislike/etc" character, who can still be immature and socially obnoxious yet believable... but right now everything about him seems far too extra, to the point of being unbelievable OOCly.

 

If you're afraid of making a character feedback thread, you did something wrong, somewhere.

I don't know about this. Critique is not an easy thing to face. Nobody wants something they've worked on and enjoy to be dissected publicly, even if it is a necessary step to improvement. But seeking it is important, and I think this is a good move.

[Azande]

Your character has more canonical charges than is reasonable for an unskilled worker.

Shane has no value to make the company even consider overlooking his transgressions - he's a janitor/assistant - he has no higher education that applies to an on board position, nor is he influential, wealthy, etc etc.

Basically: Your character is no longer believable.

I've never had that good of an interaction with Shane aside from threatening him in the Captain's office if he didn't stop acting up.

[Kryostro]

Good criticism so far, so I should be able to work out some kinks in the design.

5/5/2019 gonna start posting this again for others to see.

Edited May 5, 2019 by Kryostro

[Kryostro]

Alright, I'm gonna write down on how the character has improved as of 5/5/2019

 

On 29/10/2018 at 22:10, BurgerBB said:

Generally I think the character is unbelievable. Incredibly unbelievable to the point where I considered multiple times writing a character complaint over their behavior. They have many infractions to the point where if you combined all the other infractions each other crew member has on high pop, Shane Castralo will still have more infractions. They shouldn't even be working for NanoTrasen, let alone be given janitorial all-access on a top of the line research station. Merely mentioning the name "Shane Castralo" would be a valid argument for supporting the removal of the common channel. They always insult people excessively, they literally scream and complain over comms when someone does any sort of wrong towards them. Most crewmembers do this sort of thing because everyone feels they must have a say in something, but Shane Castralo does this EXCESSIVELY.

 

When not bothering people over comms, I always see them acting like a child, roaming the hall with foam weapons and shooting/hitting people, sometimes straight up assaulting people, and stealing things. Consistently they're the center of attention and the cause of every petty conflict. When they're traitor, it's always "Shane Castrallo breaks down because people bullied him." and he makes this super clear when he's traitor. Every time I see them screaming on comms about how everyone is terrible and how he's the victim, I know it's a traitor round. Much like how there being 0 security members on highpop is a good indicator that it's merc/heist, Shane Castralo acting more insane than usual is a good indicator it's autotraitor.

 

I'm sure it's incredibly fun to play Shane Castralo, but I feel for others it isn't. I'm starting to develop terms to describe this behavior, I call this "Main Character Syndrome" where instead of knowing that they're interacting with other people, they act like everyone else is an NPC and they do not consider that there are other players playing. I had quite an unpleasant interaction with them one day, where while I was actively treating a patient suffering from burns, they decided to just drag them away from me. I have no fucking clue why, but they just dragged them away from me while they were in critical condition. They didn't even do the smart thing and drag them towards medical, they dragged them towards the bar thinking that there would be medical treatment there. I just really feel that when their character does things, they do not consider the consequences, ICly and OOCly, of their actions. For this reason, I strongly believe that they're a really bad character and are in desperate need of improvement.

Shane Castralo is an idiot, and a melodramatic annoying immature kid who has to beat in order for him to mature to extents. 

The gimmick regarding the traitor on how he snapped and how he was a victim was around the time when I thought people wanted me to make him more HRP, thus now that I'm more connected to the idea of what I want Shane to be and realized that led him astray I added more aspects as to him literally running from anyone that is an antagonist or makes their point clear that they're at his workplace and trying to kill people. 

The time where I dragged the person that was in the middle of conflict dying toward the bar, was because they were in the hallway that had someone fighting in. I don't have picture perfect memory of that event, but I don't think I'd do that, you also got really upset in LOOC which is considerably unusual. 

 

 

On 29/10/2018 at 22:34, Trazz666 said:

I used to like Shane. He was fun, timid, bully-able, and was always fun to tease. He was the one person who you could grab and drag into maint for a good old fashion noogie or swirlie without them flipping out unrealistically and attacking metafearing being parapenned or succ'd. Shane used to get paralyzed with fear and actually act out true fear reflective of someone his age.

 

Now he's just another screaming asshole. I'm still going to steal his janicart though.

This one really hit the mark for me to know that I may have fucked up the character, it took this feedback and an hiatus for me to realize this. So, he's not a screaming asshole, now he's fixed! I hope.

 

 

On 30/10/2018 at 10:30, Doxxmedearly said:

I actually find myself agreeing with Burger. I don't hate the idea of obnoxious, socially-inept, immature characters. But it's gotten to the point where instead of being even remotely believable, he's a caricature of negative traits. It's getting harder and harder to suspend my disbelief that Shane would remain employed in any job. Screaming over the radio is also becoming more than just irritating ICly.

 

Additionally, sometimes Shane's antag gimmick is just "be slightly more annoying than usual." This isn't good. Nobody says your gimmick has to involve killing, or raiding the vault, or whatever, but just being a larger nuisance doesn't tend to add much to the round. I've had to shift around some exploitable info because he either did the same gimmick with it every time, or just decided that he would just use it as a minor insult before running off. If he's going to antag, he has to change it up now and then, and take more impactful actions.

 

I think you need to dial back the overt immaturity. Running around in costumes with foam weapons is something I'd expect on Paradise. Sure, maybe he wants to carry a foam sword around, or wear a silly mask or hat. But full costume, brandishing the fake weapon, running around screaming and shooting people with darts? It doesn't fit the environment. You can show Shane's immature personality without being so OOCly obnoxious about it. As Burger said, he feels very center-stage. There's a difference between wanting to be the center of attention ICly vs OOCly. Right now it feels more the latter, which is bad for a roleplaying game, which is cooperative by nature.

 

I think showing the effects of Shane's perceived bullying is something you should explore more, with more people, instead of just using it as your "I've snapped" traitor gimmick. I find it very hard to interact with him with ANY character, which is kind of a shame? I think you rely too much on his clique (At this point, I'd even call it a metaclique). It may be time to allow more people to have extended interactions with him that don't involve him just saying something stupid/insulting and running off to do something ridiculous. Not even chair RP; just three sentences of a normal conversation would be a great start.

 

You may wish to seek more help ICly (therapy, etc) to further personality shifts. Overall, I think Shane can be a good "love-to-hate/dislike/etc" character, who can still be immature and socially obnoxious yet believable... but right now everything about him seems far too extra, to the point of being unbelievable OOCly.

 

 

I don't know about this. Critique is not an easy thing to face. Nobody wants something they've worked on and enjoy to be dissected publicly, even if it is a necessary step to improvement. But seeking it is important, and I think this is a good move.

To be fair, I've seen gimmicks that don't involve killing or stuff like that be frowned upon in the discord, so I tended to want people to feel involved mechanically and have their spotlight, what I always try to do in my gimmicks instead of just sitting with the captain and talking about how I'll kill him or, whatever people do with their gimmicks like that. But yes, I've actually done an tremendously good gimmick in my opinion not too long ago where Shane saw things from an mechanical POV instead of roleplay-wise, and I feel although people enjoyed it. And the crescendo was fair at the end, with good reason as to why he would arm himself after he was diagnosed to be crazy after being mistreated in the psych ward. 

The idea of running around in costumes with foam weapons is something I still consider he would do, but not every single shift in life. Maybe he might wear clown shoes and throw an egg at someone that wronged him early in the shift, which then gets him put in the brig for well, being an idiot. 

Personally, I struggle with balancing Shane still as of now, what would be acceptable in the rules but also be acceptable as to what he would do in the character design itself. People tend to OOCly dislike what he does but it's just the character, and of course it's going to have flaws because I don't enjoy an roleplay environment where no one is really bad in a sense. If he gets fired, he gets fired. 

 

On 30/10/2018 at 11:13, Azande said:

Your character has more canonical charges than is reasonable for an unskilled worker.

 

Shane has no value to make the company even consider overlooking his transgressions - he's a janitor/assistant - he has no higher education that applies to an on board position, nor is he influential, wealthy, etc etc.

 

Basically: Your character is no longer believable.

 

I've never had that good of an interaction with Shane aside from threatening him in the Captain's office if he didn't stop acting up.

I mean.

Fire him? 

He's had canonical changes for the fact that they were either bad OOCly and I had to change them, or they just weren't relevant with the lore itself. Or people added charges onto his security record that were non-canon.

He's an idiot.

Edited May 5, 2019 by Kryostro

[Hendricks]

He’s an idiot. But the best idiot. 

[Kryostro]

This still exists, hence bump. I want to know if there is anything wrong with his new design so I can fix it further.

 

[Doxxmedearly]

So much better, man. Shane feels like a person now, while retaining a lot of that nervous edge and immaturity that we've come to know from him, without being over the top ridiculous. Doesn't feel like he's a literal LRP clown anymore. I can tell you've definitely taken critique seriously and I think that's huge of you. I've only seen you back in like, 2 or 3 rounds, but so far it feels like you're doing a good job playing him.

[JamOfBoy]

I interacted with them recently, albeit only once. Throughout the entire thing I was waiting for some dumb meme, but it never came. It shocked me, but in a good way.

Basically, good job. This is going in the right direction. If every interaction is like that interaction, then I won't have any complaints.

[Kryostro]

Bump. Making sure I'm still up to the task.

 

The only thing I don't like about the current iteration or atleast I'm not happy with is with the nervous stuttering or sentences being cut. I'm not entirely sure on that, or if I'm overdoing it or not.