Hi! I am more than happy to answer your questions.
Regarding question 1) This personally has always been an incredibly difficult issue for myself when it comes to playing as a Tajara and at times admittedly it has made playing Tajara incredibly unfun. The short answer to your question, yes it should be changed as it is at this point a well that has run incredibly dry. The long answer? The long answer is far more complicated as one cannot up and lift the 'established' Tajara lore that homophobia is suddenly to be fixed, changed, and gone. It is something that needs to be slowly nurtured and shifted into a brighter scope that for a lack of better words, resounds your second question. More on that later. Back to the question at hand. To answer further I personally find it rather... distasteful. Many other species have legitimate reasons for their anger or outright hatred. See Skrell and Glorsh. For the matters of homophobia? I see no clear reason for it to entirely being there outside of pure shock value. On the OOC opinion this is a rather poor and generally eye rolling manner to bring attention to a species. A species should be respected on their abilities and what makes them stick out in a surprising and positive fashion, not from pure shock value alone.
Regarding question 2) As outlined and said in your own post and subsequently my own being a Tajara, especially one that follows dogmatically to the already current lore, can be frustrating, annoying, and for the crux of the cake: teeth gritting. As someone that plays the PRA Consular Officer quite often it feels like the 'enslave all organics' AI gimmick that has been run one too many times. One can only play 'the Grandfather that hates gays' character for so long before it becomes rather stale and unappealing. To actually get to your question and my answer. As I had said above I am to follow the path of bringing the Tajara around to something that some players can be excited to be behind. I wish to bring about what I am at the moment calling "The Pillars of Life". Tajara are to pride themselves on honesty, clarity, pride in their work, and a sense of togetherness in all who they work with. The last one in particular is what I strive to nail and hammer into as the current gag for most Tajara is that 'Tajara only help other Tajara'. It would be the most ideal to incorporate the ideology of 'comradeship' from the already existing lore and build upon it. For these very things the purpose would be to make Tajara far more open ended and allowing for people to see more understanding in the Tajara and ultimately allow more players to feel unconcerned with WHAT they are, and rather the quality of their character.