HUSBANDO CONTEST!

[Coalf]

That's right, all we hear is "Waifus! Waifus!"

But what about our girl and gay playerbase?

Well I decided to make a strawpoll, vote on or vote all only on husbando shall come out on top!

http://www.strawpoll.me/12917547/r

http://www.strawpoll.me/12917547/r

http://www.strawpoll.me/12917547/r

MEH THE GEAMS BEGUIN

[AllyBearsley]

I'm not even gay enough for this

[Pyrociraptor]

What the actual fucking flying fuck of the seven fuck of the seven sea of this fucking planet is this fuckery.

[Snakebittenn]

Way to only include the most popular characters.

[Coalf]

Since everyone actually voted so fucking fast I'll give the results tommorow because I have no patience.

Also next will be waifu poll so prep your suggestions

[Catnip]

So we tie again, Alb. :^)

[Ornias]

tfw not even one of my characters is on the list

wheres the shitmed love

[whiterabit]

vote dyldo or bust

and my little autist better be on the waifu poll

brain dead makes the best waif

[witchbells]

you hold a husbando poll and you don't even put yurick ali on it. what the fuck, my dude.

yurick is a nice boy who will cook for you

[Coalf]

HELLO MY PEOPLE

Since I am an impatient little shit I decided to end the contest, TODAY

Now third place was to be claimed by Uwasv Guwan, Jack Mitchell and Dylan Sutton but they all got 3 votes (Mom, Themselves and their waifu)

So I decided to decide the only fair way I know.

DWARF FORT FIGHTS!!!

The playoff's were as follows.

Dylan Sutton and Jack Mitchell were at a stalemate as they always beat each other to shit and passed out.

Dylan Sutton massacred Uwasv Guwan as he broke both his legs and shattered his skull.

Jack Mitchell lost to Uwasv as his artery was torn with a well placed bite.

So I decided they'd fight a dragon, they all lost.

At my wits end I knew who would decide, Shogun 2 the game known for it's dueling.

So I set out to create a fair battle with a unit representing each person perfectly.

Dylan was represented by Kyoto Police and won both times!

Jack was represented by Great Guard and won once against Uwasv

Uwasv was represented by spear wielding Shimazu Warrior Monks he lost two times.

Now since people will bitch about unit count I decided to make a third and final decider.

I analyzed their dicks.

Dylan Sutton:

Jack Mitchell:

Uwasv Guwan:

 

FIRST PLACE:Faysal Al-Shennawi with 7 votes!

SECOND PLACE:Flaming Hearts something something with 5 votes!

THIRD PLACE:Dylan Sutton with 3 votes and a 2 wins and 1 tie in play-off's.

 

Honorable mentions:

Jack Mitchell 3 votes

Uwasv Guwan 3 votes

Senri Ishikawa (RIP) 2 votes

Avery Bell (Leo Wyatt) 2 votes

Ash Lacroix (insert smug face here) 2 votes

Leo Wyatt (Avery Bell) 2 votes

Rob Oster 0 votes

Mark Syion 0 votes

I want to thank all who took part and I hope you're still tooned in because later today there will be a hunger games contest to see who takes fourth place!

The site is a piece of shit and deleted my progress.

Bitchin'

[ToasterStrudel]

M.A.K.E wasn't on here, 0/10 this was bad contest

[Coalf]

HEY FUCKNUGGETS I MADE A WAIFU CONTEST NOW TOO

http://www.strawpoll.me/12921974

http://www.strawpoll.me/12921974

http://www.strawpoll.me/12921974

STOP COMPLAINING YOUR CHARACTER IS NOT THERE I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

 

[whiterabit]

synth superiority triumphs again

[Pyrociraptor]

Y'all are fucking disgusting

And that's coming from me.

[AllyBearsley]

This community needs Jesus

[Ornias]

>when the ugly-ass synths are on the list but your characters aren't

i'm disgusted, truly disgusted

[Coalf]

Well cry over it chuckle pumpkins because we are finished with the waifu contest!

FIRST PLACE:NT-A 486 with staggering 15 votes!

SECOND PLACE:Ashley Paynter with 8 votes!

THIRD PLACE:Kalmiya with 6 votes!

 

Now because voting is fucking BOOOOOORING I decided to have a friendly competition with all the waifus that were voted!

So I decided to pit them against each other in Dwarf Fortress.

 

Here are the highlights!

MOST BLOODTHIRSTY:Curel Wald! Claiming three kills as she slowly sneaked across the ground and slit the throat of anyone who was unconcious or wounded!

MOST CRUEL:NT-A 486 wins this one as this lovely synthetic decided to simply lob off limbs and leave the fighters fighting for their life, this robot could simply not be stoppped and as for finishing Hurlock she simply caved her knee in and then slashed her accross the chest leatting out all the organs for the world to see.

MOST VIGUROUS:Usara Yinzr! Even with both of her limbs missing she never gave up an latched on NT-A's neck with her bare teeth! Of course she bled out later.

MOST MEDIOCRE:Samiya Radka! Even though her 5 votes got her some pretty good bronze gear she was publicly shamed as Wald kicked her in the knee, took off her helmet and Hurlock proceeded to slit her throat!

 

BIGGEST AVENGER:Abigail Hurlock! As Yurick Ali died thanks to a fiesty throat slit Hurlock went into a rampage killing Radka, Wald and lastly trying to face against NT-A, but the robot prooved to be too much for her.

MOST MANLY:Yurick Ali! As some people bitched he wasn't in the Husband contest he was in the waifu contest! And he claimed two kills too! Good on you.

And now for some pictures.

Arena in the start:

And end:

Mother VS Daughter:

Last kill of the match:

 

Hope you enjoyed this slaughter as much as I did and tune in next time for the "Best Parent" poll.

[MoondancerPony]

why no serena baskett

why no desai

ford for husbando contest 2k17

[Coalf]

Last poll.

I dont even care anymore

http://www.strawpoll.me/12925159

http://www.strawpoll.me/12925159

http://www.strawpoll.me/12925159

[Ornias]

why no serena baskett

why no desai

 

public concensus demands that you redo the polls but with my characters (the good characters thanks (also my fucking dad character with no qualities except for dad isnt in the parent list fuck y))

[Dreamix]

You are full of shit. Cease immediately.

Also, where the fuck is John Doe.

[Coalf]

Something something [iNSERT MEME HERE] bla bla bla results.

FIRST PLACE:Raymond Hawkins, 4 votes

SECOND PLACE:Vira Bolivar, 3 votes

THIRD PLACE:Anthony Kell and Yumi Yotin, 2 votes

Nobody actually cares about this bullshit, you all want to see the DF DEATH MATCH BATTLES

 

Well, Faysal won due to the fact he sat in the corner plicking at people with a crossbow and missing.

After he ran out of ammo he ran up to passed out Vira and bashed her head in with a crossbow loosing his arm in the process.

Yeah this uh, this one was pretty weak, nothing special.

I'm done.

[Guest Complete Garbage]

With this harrowing catastrophe finally over, the world takes a collective sigh of relief, mourning their lost sanity and praying for the day Coalf finally gets permabanned.

[Chada1]

Since my character, NT-A 486, won the hottest Waifu award, I feel it is only right that I post fan service to sate the communities lust for Waifu-dom.

Let's begin with a fanfic that I wrote for all of you.

Alert! Too Lewd! Fanservice gone wrong!

Bob Doleson says,"NT-A, I knew I loved you ever since I first set eyes on you, all of those minutes ago, on the Exodus Port Solars. Will you marry me?"

Bob Doleson kneels down, opening a small rectangular box, revealing a ring to the Android.

NT-A 486 beeps in sequence, almost in reply.

NT-A 486 states, "Information received."

NT-A 486 states, "Alert. Station-bound Units are not equiped with appendage: Hands. Error engaging Marriage Protocol."

Bob Doleson cries out.

Bob Doleson yells, "Noooooo!"

Warning. None of the actors used in the making of this skit are in any way a person nor should they be considered as one. Bob Doleson is a Critical Clone Disorder Bald and NT-A 486 is a Synthetic Android Unit.

And with that, I conclude the Fan Service. Good day, and i'm glad many have come to adore the beautiful, albeit emotionless Android I have created. Even if it does distress me heavily.