tbear13

Thanks for the feedback

So, thanks for the feedback. I'll go through and reply to each point. So, yeah, I should've mentioned the first war at least once or twice. I'll edit that in, not sure how I forgot to include that in the first place. Did the backstory really seem sympathetic? I honestly hadn't intended for it to be. My writing is, obviously, not that good. Yeah, the part where he moved to Tau Ceti was short, maybe a bit too short. I'll look over it and see if I can add some more detail. As for working for NT despite the dislike, that's kinda hard to justify, but at the same time, that's how the ALA was written, considering their mission statement is "freeing the population from corporate overlords," or something along those lines. I'll edit the backstory to have it make a little more sense though. Yup, you don't see many morally ambiguous Tajara. I'm glad that you like my RP, and yeah, I have White on a hiatus, dunno when I'll bring him back. So, yeah, I see where you're coming from with this. There're a good amout of M'sai security officers, but mechanically, and lorewise, that's not surprising. I'll keep the edge to a reasonable level, and continue my mission to exterminate anime. I plan on keeping the character a little more traditional than most, as well. Thanks for the feedback, again!

BYOND Key: Tbear13 Character Names: Mark Sulyard, Tyler White, Aeson Palmer, Devi, Deacon Ellis, Jake Whittier Species you are applying to play: Tajaran What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Wheat Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yezzir Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: I mean, they're just interesting to me. Their backstory and culture are the most interesting out of everything, a big ol' planetary war with conservative-commie-kitties, what's not to like? Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Starting with the most noticeable, they talk differently. They tend to roll their r's and refer to themselves in the third person. They tend to express themselves differently, using different body language. As a species, they don't always get along so good, considering the fact that they've had two civil wars in the recent past, which have affected almost all of them in some way. Character Name: Mraliikijr M'hakramar Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Mraliikijr M'hakramar is an M'sai Tajara who was born in 2437, from a small village south-east of Tampiska. An only child, his father was a rancher, tending to a herd of N’hanzafu, while his mother did tailoring in-between the usual housework. His father, he knew, had fought for the rebels in the first revolution, though he rarely spoke of his time in the war. Overall, Mraliikijr had a pretty normal childhood, he was the class clown so to speak, he always had a joke to tell or a prank planned out. However, things changed for him when he was fourteen, the year Rhagrrhuzau Hadii was assassinated and the war broke out, his father was quick to join up with the ALA. Mraliikijir wasn't surprised that his father had chosen the ALA, given his previous time in the first revolution, and his father's reaction to the assassination of President Hadii, though he had expected him to consider all his options, looking before he leapt so to speak, rather then jumping right into the war. Nearly a year passed, when they received the letter. His father had been killed in a skirmish just north of B'urr. Mraliikijr was mortified, how could anyone hurt someone as kind as his father? Over the next few days, his sadness and grief seemed to change, becoming something akin to hate. He didn't know exactly what he hated, whether it was the PRA soldiers, himself, for not being there to help, or maybe it was was the other ALA soldiers for not saving his father. He didn't know who he hated, but he hated someone, and he wanted to make someone pay. So, Mraliikijr decided he would enlist with the ALA. He was only fifteen, but he figured he could pass as old enough. After all, his father had taught him how to hunt, how different could this be? He spent four months training, and was then assigned to a Kazarrhaldiye Tajara, which was called Rredouane's Own. Mraliikijr quickly gained a reputation as strange, almost heartless, and ended up with only a few real friends, one of those friends ended up teaching him the basics of Ceti Basic. Whenever a firing squad was needed, he was quick to volunteer, and as often as someone would listen, he'd rant about the PRA. Whenever they occupied a (formerly) PRA village, he often appropriated things, even going so far as to occasionally beat villagers for whatever petty excuse he came up with that day. He spent eight years like this, until the time came for him to re-enlist. Before he signed the re-enlistment papers, he was able to get leave and visit his Mother. When he arrived, she barely recognized him. She seemed almost afraid of him, she was reserved in conversation, and wouldn't even make eye contact. That night, he got to thinking, what had he accomplished in the last eight years? He'd tried to avenge his father by killing people who'd had nothing to do with it? He'd stolen and abused innocent people because they were 'the enemy?' What had he become, just to get revenge on people who'd done nothing to him? He decided he wouldn't re-enlist, but he felt like he couldn't stay with his former neighbors either. He didn't feel like he fit in, they were normal and he.. wasn't, he thought. He wouldn't re-enlist, and he wouldn't stay, so what would he do? He could leave, so, he did. He paid some smugglers to get him across the PRA border, which happened without incident. Once across the border, he applied for, and got, a work visa for Tau Ceti, and boarded a shuttle headed to Mendell City as soon as possible. The trip there was uneventful, and upon arrival he managed to find a cheap apartment in District 6. He looked for a job around some of the smaller businesses in the District for a few days, with no luck. Eventually, he decided to try a Nanotrasen recruiter, and ended up landing a job in security on the NSS Aurora. He'd never had any major gripes with Nanotrasen, despite the ALA's dislike for them. What do you like about this character? I mean, he's different, that's the biggest thing. He isn't the happy-go-lucky guy who likes to build stuff, he's more invested in the war than a lot of Tajarans I've seen. I like that he's far from innocent, having taken part in the atrocities that're so common. He's confused and in a place he doesn't quite understand, but he's determined to make something of himself, even if he doesn't know what. How would you rate your role-playing ability? I'd give myself a 7/10. My biggest issue is that, as a security player, I get too busy playing my role, and don't put enough effort into the roleplay aspect. That's getting better though, slowly improving. Notes: I had something to put here, but I can't seem to remember right now. Other than that, thanks for leaving feedback, if you do, and I'll metagrudge you 5ever if you -1 me. Edit: If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to shoot me a PM on discord. tbear13/brm375#4142 Edit 2: Fixed up a few things. I was kinda tired as I wrote it up, so if you see any contradicting or out of place info, that's probably where it's from.

Now, I usually would agree with you, a character who bounces around until they find a nice fit for them is pretty good usually, but that just doesn't work for IPCs. IPCs are purpose-built, made to fit a certain role. They're physically incapable of knowing more than a few jobs, and are *very* expensive.

Well, if you feel like that, I guess there's not much point in responding with any more feedback. I will, however, point out that "flexibility in job assignment" to the extent you're talking about is against the rules according to this https://forums.aurorastation.org/viewtopic.php?f=107&t=10337

Gonna -1 this for now. All the answers are average at best, nothing here is really interesting. Okay so, I don't think I've ever played with you, so this is all based 100% on the application content. You posted new answers to these in the comments, so I suggest you edit those in here. I'll respond based on those answers, however. You want to play IPCs for.. pretty much the same reason as everyone else, but I know you secretly wanna join our sec-IPC powergaming club As for your roleplay differences answer, I'd like you to expand on that more. Be more specific. That answer doesn't really show understanding of IPCs. Okay, forgive my bluntness, but this backstory is bad. He was made then put on the Aurora? Okay? Who is he, what does he do, what's interesting about him? Does he have a real personality, or is he on the more robotic side of IPCs? What kind of frame is he? You can't [REDACT] information to switch his backstory/job every shift. That.. seems like what you said it was for, forgive me if I misread something. Another one you changed in comments, going off that. He's naive. Okay? Expand on this with your backstory. I can't testify to your RPing since I've never seen you ingame. Praise the Almighty Honkmother.

The backstory is slightly better now, but not by much. Why would they be given two personalities? It serves no purpose whatsoever. It still doesn't explain how they learned so much about phoron and researching in general either.

Name: Mark Sulyard Species: Human Age: 33 Date of Hire: 2/29/2460 Job Title: Head of Security Preferred Contact Info: MarkSulyard123@NTMail.com

I mean, I doubt a giant megacorp would buy something that was only partially functional, if they couldn't fix it. That's a lot of money, after all. I also still don't get why the modifications are so hard to fix anyway. What are they, exactly? Okay, why would someone randomly give an extremely expensive IPC mental issues? If you can't figure out a reason he'd have the problem, don't add it in. Why is the IPC rejecting treatment? Don't his 'make science data words' utilon values make him want to? Why say he has 'unique perspectives' if he just has regular data that they've probably already discovered for themselves? Where did he learn so much about phoron, or science in general, anyway? For the record, still a -1, if any admemes can't tell.

Well, my point still stands, I doubt NT would have problems repairing roboboi. Why would an IPC just randomly split into two personalities? Someone would need to code that, even if the behavioral part was already there. Why would NT keep the instability though? They could take the knowledge and remove the bipolar part. What 'unique' views does he have on phoron research, anyway?

I'm still not a huge fan of the backstory. It seems very unlikely that Nanotrasen couldn't fix a retracting fin. The split personality thing is a major issue as well. IPCs, as far as I know, cannot develop or program themselves, and a new personality has to come from somewhere. Additionally, why would NT put an unstable IPC on one of their stations? They could wipe the new personality in 15 minutes and have a stable, reliable IPC. Still a -1 from me.

Still gonna have to -1 this. The backstory is a mess after your edit, to be honest. It says they're a human-shaped Xion frame.. that's not how it works. Xion frames are shaped like Xion frames. Why would they make a shell to do somewhat dangerous field work? It's a problem that you gave them laws, IPCs do *not* have laws. An IPC also cannot modify it's own programming, so, making a new lawset for itself is bad anyway. It seems silly to take an IPC made for the water, and put him in space because he "wasn't perfect" y'know? Also, what will the IPC do on-station? Did they buy their freedom, or are they owned by NT?

I'd be against both of those personally. The event hasn't really changed much, except the quality of security is even lower than it was before.

Maybe uh, add your character names? You can color IPCs, but they can be any color unlike taj and unathi and such, so it's pretty much irrelevant. Human master race. Other than your disloyalty to your species, this looks good. I don't like this answer. IPCs, are mechanical, yes, but why does that lead to constant existential crisis? I don't see the logic there. And.. there's racism and they behave differently than each other, that's it? You pretty much danced around the question here. I'd like to see this modified or rewritten to show actual roleplay differences. Okay, so there's some issues with the backstory. So, he's a miner that's also a space-EMT, seems kinda weird, but okay. So, here's the issue. The borg was made an IPC illegally, according to the wiki. The borg would've needed to pay for itself ten times over, then pay for the chassis and positronic brain to "integrate" as an IPC. I don't really like that he was still following a law, seems like something he'd be glad to get away from. That's good math, getting him up to double cool. I can't count that high, and I don't know who your characters are, so.. I'll just assume you're right I think a new name would be good, not a fan of this one.

First off, sorry if this double posts or something, bad internet connection. So, this is a terrible idea in my opinion. It adds nothing to the game except a pointless task that will only annoy Heads. There is literally no good reason to add this. Why not just remove animal hunger instead? It's not realistic for an animal to become starving in five minutes, and then eat twice as much food as a human. If you kill the dog by intentionally ignoring it, animal cruelty works fine.

Gonna have to -1 this. Never seen any of your characters, so this is all based on the application. Your general questions are a bit short. The backstory is the biggest issue. First off, Skrell bois don't like IPCs, they don't make IPCs, they don't trust IPCs. Also.. why would a shell made specifically for use in water be put in space? They could get a lot more use out of something so expensive where it was, y'know, intended to be used.

Big +1 from me. Worthy is a great roleplayer, nice in OOC, and it seems like a fun character concept.

Gonna have to -1 this for now. Most of your answers are okay, but the backstory leaves a lot to be desired. It can be summed up by "Teenager somehow programs a robot with free will without much, if any experience. This robot then steals some money, runs away, and then does an unspecified job on the Aurora." There's.. some issues there, y'know? How did Austin manage to code a robot with perfect independent thought before he even finished college? Did anyone try to track him down? Something worth a hundred thousand credits (not including what he stole) just walking off would probably be noticed.

I'm not exactly involved in this complaint, but I wanted to chip in regarding one thing I saw him do. One round we were both on during, he began naming cleaning robots (and possibly other robots) things like "Linerbord is a bitch" just to make his salt known to the world. It's nothing too bad, but I mean, if he's willing to do something that small just to insult another player, do we even want him around at this point?

I support this. It'll make antagging, and security, a heck of a lot more fun.

He's a good borgo. Them's a good sprites. +1

+1 from me. I'm confident you can pull off HoS pretty well. I'll help beat up the people who give a -1, by the way.

Nope, he'll be smuggling things off the station. Yes, he'll break regulations as a non-antag, specifically stealing things he believes will be useful to the SIC. I'll keep this relatively minor, just swiping some nanopaste or metal occasionally, for example. That.. isn't quite true, he'll focus on finding already pro-synthetic people, and trying to get them to work for the SIC.

Edited the backstory. Feel free to speak with me about any more issues you have!

Alrighty, I'll try to work out the issues you mentioned. It may be a few days before I can edit anything though, I won't be at my computer much until Sunday.