Loow

http://i.imgur.com/9D0IQsB.png Tups Mobilized: Director Gives Statement Editors note: Translated to Basic. Following the recent actions taken on the planet of Bursa, Director Qroisht Tup has taken the opportunity to release an official statement to the public. Today, the Grand Council allowed for reporters to enter facilities as the Director of the Tup Commandos gave his account of the events leading up to and including the operation on Bursa. "The Lii’dra invasion of Elyran space was cause for alarm to the entirety of the galactic community. Representative Tlaki’Qeblios promptly arranged for a personal meeting, which I accepted. He explained the plight of the Elyran people. I began fulfilling my duties as Director of the Tups by mobilizing the Commando Division." "Due to the high profile nature of this operation, certain details must be made known to the Grand Council as well as the public. Three teams were assembled for the sole purpose of eliminating a lesser Queen of the Lii’dra located within relative proximity to their Hiveship. These teams were designated Abbas, Ghassan, and Ghadir. They numbered twelve, nine and seven respectively. Extraction was conducted for teams Abbas and Ghassan via stellar vessel shortly after mission completion.“ The Director opened the forum to questions, which were plentiful among the attending Councilmen. Among the first points mentioned was the decision to designate each team with names outside of typical Skrell naming convention. “The operation was conducted within Elyran space to lessen the loss of Human life. Utilization of Human given names as call signs was deemed appropriate.” Discussion then shifted to the teams themselves as Qroisht Tup expanded upon the casualties, extraction methods, and assignments of each group. “Abbas conducted deep infiltration, going as far as to neutralize the Lesser Queen. As the situation progressed, teams Ghassan and Ghadir engaged opposing forces. Recovery operations were realized with the combined efforts of Abbas and Ghassan. Ghadir ensured members of each team achieved extraction before pursuing exfiltration. Final standing force was seven for each squad with the exception of Ghadir, numbering two. Casualties were below projections.” Representative Tlaki’Qeblios opted not to attend this meeting of the Grand Council, bringing his role in recent events to question. Critics have stated that the speed at which the Commandos deployed suggests that Tup forces may have arrived in Elyra before receiving approval from the Grand Council. While both Tup forces and Nralakk sanctioned Representatives are considered autonomous entities, the two have historically conducted minimal cooperative actions. Internal review procedures, while not yet announced, may be underway to decide if Representatives claiming the Republic of Elyra as their Entity of Interest overstepped their boundaries by lobbying to Director Qroisht Tup directly.

Loow here. You asked, so I'll go ahead and critique. I encourage anyone who replies to an application to do the same. At the moment, Synnono is the only one who has posted any constructive criticism for Coalf. As nice as phrases like "Good Rper +1" might seem when we write them, such short messages don't really give applicants much feedback to work with. First of all, the punctuation is all over the place on this application. My grammar is definitely not perfect. I don't expect anyone to be a flawless master of punctuation, but this application is severely lacking sentence stops. There is one period for every paragraph of this biography as well as a single question mark. This makes every section of the character's history feel as if it is meant to be said in one breath while also making the work more difficult to read. Please fix this at your earliest convenience. It would make the entire work easier to follow for all readers. Sentence structure may seem like a small detail, but do keep in mind that it is quite literally the foundation of your application. There is more to be said about this app, and I look forward to seeing more player feedback. Do not expect your application to be accepted as it stands. Consider any feedback players can give you. Feel free to advertise this application in OOC once per round.

Hey there. Loow here. First of all, remember that you can post a link to this application in OOC once per round. Doing so will likely help you get more feedback on this application. I typically try to wait at least three days before making a judgement on an application, so you have time. A few quick notes while I'm here. You're correct about Jargon V being Aliose, but the capital planet is actually their home world of Jargon IV (Qerrbalak). Just a slight detail to keep in mind. Also, feel free to add more onto your character's biography if you'd like to. Your application mentions that Vera'Qaule is 175 years old, but there's not much exposition as to what he did in that time. You do a good job of explaining his struggle to find direction early on, but there are a lot of holes in his story after that. It sounds like a believable story for a Human. He has trouble picking a career, finds his passion while working an unrelated job, goes to school, gets the career he now knows he wants. There's a flow to his story that sort of stops around his thirties. To sum it up, your application could use a little more expansion on the character's backstory and life within the last 150 years or so. Don't be afraid to go over the suggested "two paragraphs". Showing how much you care about your character design can only help you. Good luck! Happy writing! And don't forget to advertise your application!

After waiting the promised "day or two tops", I am happy to see that there is quite a bit of feedback here. Before I get to feedback, I'll stop and take a look at how the app reads post-edit. The mention of potential boyfriends is quite scandalous and the inclusion of the word "perused" raises the rating of this application to PG-13. Steamy word choice aside, there is definitely a character being drawn together by this application. Her interest in her craft is a commendable trait that I trust you'll be able to portray well. The application comes across as quite bubbly, much like the character herself. My one note of caution is that your Skrell might come across as very "Human" in play. This may sound like an odd request, but do remember that she is, by definition, alien. What does acting like a Skrell mean? Well that varies from person to person just as personalities do. Experiment with the themes you want to play with in this character. Oquoqua'Dali is your first foray into the Skrell (at least with us) and is your chance to find what being a Skrell means to you and this character. There is definitely the backbone of a character in this application. As time goes on, it will be your duty to expand upon them while having a fun time with bringing them to life on-station. Among the things to think about: Little details. How does she feel about this and that? Who were people that had an impact on her throughout her life? Anything you come up with that you think adds something to the character is probably a detail that someone out there will appreciate. If nothing else, it will give you an idea of what Oquoqua'Dali is like as an individual. Best of luck to Dr.Walosh-Gakodi as she hides out in Xenobotany and gets to know her new coworkers. Application Accepted.

Oldest Skrell in Universe Celebrates 551st Birthday Editors note: Translated to Basic. Reporters flocked to the residence of Yulnop-Regluk Dohrmi‘Xyla today to wish him a happy birthday. While medical professionals were not initially enthused by the display, special accommodations had been made to his lodgings in upper Gialok to afford the venerated citizen the opportunity to speak with multiple reporting agents simultaneously. Yulnop-Regluk proved to be in good spirits on this anniversary of his life, taking time to make light hearted commentary on his physical state. “Medical science has truly made wondrous strides over the last millennium,” he jived to his guests. “My one regret is that I was the one to be afforded such longevity.” For the last century of his life, Yulnop-Regluk Dohrmi‘Xyla has seen his health deteriorate from a state of relative normalcy to an existence of nearly constant physical stress. “The Human term is agony. By living far beyond the natural threshold of living for our species, we are effectively extending certain stages of our life. What was once a short term of extreme pain is now prolonged for those who make it this far. Several doctors have conducted tests in the hopes of discerning whether this existence is as severe as the near-death sensations of Skrell who naturally meet their end at younger ages. I would treasure the chance to answer this question for them, but my own descriptions are arbitrary and idiosyncratic. Having never experienced the morbid luxury of an early death myself, I am incapable of appropriately comparing such sensations.” Yulnop-Regluk Dohrmi‘Xyla has made a concerted effort to document his thoughts during this late stage of his life, and rumors have surfaced that he may release portions of his memoirs prior to his death. “My longevity has once again become a matter of amusement to my caretakers as well as myself. I believed I was quickly fading decades ago, and wrote several short works to be released after my passing. Rather than moving on quietly, I survived long enough to witness the discovery of multiple sapient species. Each one has proved to be an amusing experience worthy of commentary, and so I continue to write.” As the first Skrell to achieve such a long lifespan, Yulnop-Regluk Dohrmi‘Xyla has reluctantly accepted his position as a popular figure of Skrell society. He has had personal meetings with multiple artists and politicians and has even served as a reference for several cinematic works. “I will continue to be either useful or talkative for as long as I am able. As you [younger individuals]* never cease to request the insight of this relic, I am beginning to fear that I may even outlive myself.” Yulnop-Regluk Dohrmi‘Xyla graciously excused reporters after several minutes, ensuring the group that he looks forward to seeing them at least once more. *Translator's note: The exact phrase Mr. Dohrmi‘Xyla used was actually an expression derived from one of Sol Common’s many root languages. The phrase directly translates to mean “small children born to parents out of wedlock.” It is believed that his intention was for the phrase to be interpreted as a term of affection.

Loow here. First off, I just wanna say that I'm always happy to answer a few questions on the Skrell. It gives me an idea of what themes or details the players might like to see more of in future updates to their Lore and makes for generally pleasant conversation. Such was the case with Whiterabit here. There's quite a bit to say about your app, so I'll dive right in. I absolutely love how you chose to write the biography in the first person. The bio gives us a good peak at the character's voice. There's a sense of duty in Veriqua's words alongside some hints at her own opinions and personal convictions. The inclusion of a few choice phrases like "paranoid militia" and "my part" tell us a lot about the character in just few words. Veriqua sounds like she's just warming up to NanoTrasen. As if she was unsure about joining them (or had been considering it) for some time and is just now starting to feel that it was a wise decision. That sounds to me like a hint toward a serious internal struggle that adds a layer of complexity to what sounds like a veteran command character. Her decision to take the Federation ship's name as a name addition is also a nice touch. Depending on when she took the addition, the choice could be seen as either a sense of pride in her new ship or almost a kind farewell to pay respect to her roots in the Jargon military. One detail to keep in mind is that Tau Ceti only gained its independence from the Sol Alliance a few years ago. If your character has been with NT for 15 years, that means she would have been working with NT when the young Republic finally split off. Just a detail to keep in mind to avoid chronological timeline mess. Feedback points to other players being confident in your ability to warble as well as your RP. Let's see how Captain Les-Quelen does on station. Application Accepted.

Hey there. I try not to rush judging applications when feedback is lacking, so I'm gonna drop some advice. You clearly care about the Skrell and this character idea, and I would really hate to have to deny this application just because the topic is sparse. Elohiadanvdo, you can post a link to this application in OOC once a round in order to generate a little more traffic to this discussion. I encourage anyone reading this to please post your thoughts on this app, elohiadanvdo as a player, or their RP in the past. This application will be open for another day or two tops before judgement. I hope there will be more feedback here when that time comes. Don't forget to advertise!

Polls are usually not the place where people change their minds, and this vote has already happened once before. I doubt adding another comment will make much of a difference, but at least I can say I voiced my opinion. I am in favor of Red Security. -Red uniforms stand out more, making it easier to spot Sec. -Red coloring is sufficiently different from the blues of command, medbay, the windows, oxygen containers, lockers, and other such general ambiance. -Red security is something of a staple of Space Station 13, and I'm quite fond. -Security HUD sunglasses and Security Comms were still red before. I don't see changing the color of Sec Comms to more closely resemble LOOC, Medical radio, and Command channel as a good thing. Otherwise, we'll always have red security communications to go with our blue security team. The most popular counter arguments are "New Sprites are nice." and "Red is scary." I'd love to see some care put into making newer, better red-sec sprites rather than a complete color shift to make another department not stand out. Even our BlueSec Sprites could be made into snappy new Red-Sec Sprites. This'd leave some room to play with secondary colors and other such things spriters and "pixel artists" would likely enjoy working on. Red security does not have to be scary. If people feel the red sprites are too intimidating, new sprites could be made and shown to the public to gauge their emotional adversity to each new design. I'd like to see us get new, snappy security uniform sprites rather than a complete departmental color shift. Aurora's Security can be "New" and "Different" without making the sprites for the entire department look boringly similar to every other section of the station. I don't think I'll be winning over 70+ people who have already made up their mind with this post, but I hope I at least made my case. Red Security with better sprites would cut the negatives of Blue Sec and offer the chance to make new, engaging designs for the department. Please don't make the server monochromatic. Make Security neat again.

Hey hey. Loow here. First off, I appreciate your your pronoun game. Two "their"s in, I gave a nod at the artistic choice. Neat showmanship. I also like the themes you plan on portraying with this character. Questioning one's place and beliefs, their direction in life. In a way, questioning themselves. Reading this application makes it clear that you have a very specific character in mind. A person, an idea. What's more, it shows you care about them. You're invested in this character and I'm fairly confident you'll enjoy fleshing them out further as they navigate station life. Some very crisp points were brought up in the commentary that you should take to heart. Remember to think of the "little things" about this character and continue to explore details about them as you carry on. You correctly pointed out that Skrell are largely asexual and hit on some relevant points about their views toward synthetics. With tension mounting regarding Synthetics in the Tau Ceti system, it makes sense that now would be a good time to think about Skrell characters. If you have any questions or wish to make any points, feel free to do so. As far as I'm concerned, you seem plenty capable of handling a Skrell Whitelist. I haven't seen much of you on station, but hopefully I can remedy this soon by catching Zrgaat in action. Enjoy your existential crisis. Application Accepted.

Dear diary, -The foundation of the Notable Skrell page (Warning: WIP) has been posted. It's progress, but there's still quite a lot of work to be done. Posted characters will be elaborated on and future characters will be added. -New News news: One new article has been posted as of the time of this update. This means that the quota for the span of time from now to my next Diary Entry is three articles. -Cooperation: Talked with Killerhurtz about a few things regarding the Dionaea and the Skrell. Had a few conversations with Loredevs about general stuff. -Drawing went surprisingly well this week. That'll be useful in projects to come. -How about those Animals?: Not yet posted. Let's see if I can fix that with another page addition. -Some feedback acquired. -Brainstorming continued as it always does. This week saw an increase in content created and released, but not quite as much as I would like. Progress is progress. Goals for this week: - Have three news articles pressed and printed. - Continue development of Notable Skrell. - Get the first two noteworthy animals for Qerrbalak to a presentable state. - Work on the frame for planet pages. - Keep up the cooperation. - Acquire feedback.

Glad I could help out a bit. The way I see it, every time we try to write something, character or otherwise, we take something away from the experience. As easy as it could have been to just say "Not enough feedback. Not our lore." it wouldn't have given you anything to work off of. Sharing ideas gives us a chance to learn provided we either revisit the work or seek feedback. That said, the writing experience itself is a fun time. I hope your projects go well and at the very least least give you a fun creative outlet to experiment with. The application clearly has some heart put into it. You really did well with the building blocks the Bay people provided. You're clearly a creative sort, and hopefully something in our wiki piques your interest just as much. We've got quite a few pages, so feel free to take the time to read on whatever catches your eye. On the other hand, do remember to take some time to play human characters and interact with the crew as you can for now. If you rush straight into another Alien Whitelist application, you might find that you're still not getting much feedback. Follow your own judgement. Make the characters you want to make. Read lore if you have an interest. Keep on keeping on. Application denied.

Hey hey. This is Loow. I'm gonna go ahead and give you some feedback. People like feedback. First off, this applications leans pretty heavily on the baystation lore. It makes sense, the two have quite a few similarities. Qerrbalak, Jargon, the fact that the race exists at all. Buuut I'm gonna go ahead and suggest that you give our lore on the Skrell a read and see what you can do with that. It's not perfect and the guy who oversees it really has a long road ahead of him, but it's a little different from the Baystation Lore for Skrell. I know what you're probably thinking. "Oh no! I've written based off of the wrong foundation! Now I'll never warble with the Skrell Metaclique!" Worry not, my friend! There's always the chance to apply again in the future. Getting denied isn't necessarily a "Game Over." More like a "Continue?" If this app doesn't work out, I'd suggest taking a while to spend more time RPing around the server, getting to know the people, and generally having a good time playing however it is you like to play. Hone your inner space man. Now about this application as it stands! I don't see a reason to remain completely silent on this app as it is now. Let's see if I can make some commentary and drum up a nice conversation about this character, the lore, the questions and maybe even the app as a whole. What I'm getting from all this is that Shak was born into nobility, was bullied by his family, was the victim of prejudice because of his family's high position in society, hated his parents, was not allowed to go to a party, and became the last living member of his immediate family when that party was attacked by radical elements. That's pretty far out, my dude. Like, it's out there. Then he picked up a disgusting bird covered in parasites. That's the high point of his life. Rough times. It was mentioned before that the BST part couldn't happen, so I won't get into that. In my opinion, the idea that he seems to show absolutely no drive to do anything until something happens to him by chance is pretty not-great. The way this story looks here: - He does nothing to improve his standing with his close family until they are all killed. - He can't pick a career despite having apparently gained experience in many complex fields such as xenobiology and "Prisoner Management." - He's brought out of his slump by a passing experience with a sick animal, yet doesn't seem to gain much inspiration from his previous life experiences. - His journey to becoming an expert in virology is described as reading the same book many times. (seems a little too simple) - Shak considers his life goals to have been completely met by reading this book and does not seek to do anything else with his life. (Then why do all that work?) - To wrap is all up, he joins NanoTrasen because a stranger in a bar suggested it. His story, as it stands, could use polishing. You've got passion. You've asked for critique. You say you can take verbal feedback. With that in mind, I couldn't just let the application go by without at least mentioning what stuck out about this character's design. I hope that helps a bit. That said, this application is pretty starved for feedback and appears to have been written without much consideration for Aurora Lore... Aurlore? .... Our lore. You've got a good attitude and a desire to improve! This application may not work out, but don't let that completely discourage you from pursuing an Alien Whitelist in the future. This app is probably going to stay open for... another 24 hours or so? Feel free to respond if you'd like. Also remember that you can post a link to your application in OOC once per round. It might help you get more feedback if people click it impulsively while playing their space game.

This subject had been coming across my mind more and more recently. Your timing is impeccable. Loow stands in firm support of additional headwear variants being added to the Custom Loadout list for Skrell and Skrell kind. And your sprites are by no means shoddy.

Dear diary, -I've been making Skrell persons of interest and should have several out in circulation very soon. They will keep the Notable Skrell page warm as I polish ideas and gradually add more. -A few notable animals from Qerrbalak have reached late stages in their development and will be placed on either the general Skrell lore page or given their own page. Much like the previously mentioned Notable Skrell, these animals will serve as the beginnings of what I hope will become an informative section on some of the more interesting species found in Skrell space. -The foundations of several stories and news articles have been drawn out. -Attempts have been made at graphical design to serve as base for future projects. It's not pretty. Drawing is hard. -Talked with a few lorepersons about goals and themes. -Probed the minds of the people. Personal Lore Goals: 1. More frequent articles for news sections. 2. More consistent updates to the wiki. 3. More party on the station. (Events.) Why? To flesh out the universe and keep it from feeling stagnant. To give the players more content to browse if they feel compelled to do so. To encourage further feelings of "fun" among the general populous of the server. People like fun. Goals for this upcoming week: -Get some Notable Skrell on that page. Address a few from the tip-top of the to do list. Continue fleshing out additional characters. -Get animals on the page. First two minimum. Get the next few ideas pretty enough to be shared. -2 articles minimum a week. This is happening. If it doesn't happen, then missed articles will be added onto the minimum for the next week. I've been sitting happy with too many ideas and not enough work to show for it. A minimum will ensure I actually get around to developing things rather than letting them collect dust. -Bother lorepersons about more themes and work. Get some of that cooperation going. -Acquire feedback.

This application is the same as the last one, slightly reworked. So my response will likely read in a manner similar to the last one. The biggest differences I see here are changes to the positions of ellipses, addition of buzzwords, and minor edits to the biography. You're not really selling the "I want to play this race" angle. Your answer reads more along the lines of "I was thinking about how these people have different opinions than the ones I have currently, when I decided to not do that. Also my last application did not get approved, so here is another app parts almost identical to it." Another example of "I already applied once" in this application. This one hurts just a lil' because it gives the impression that you A: Really don't care for the fact that you had to read anything at all. B: Are a bit more salty about being denied on your first try than you probably mean to seem. C: Seriously only read the lore twice after all of this time and discussion. Each of those is a detail we could go without and probably isn't even the case. Fixation and Other Things to Consider I understand that the nature of the Unathi is what made you take an interest in writing a character, but have you considered many factors in the character that are not centered around the degree of spit which she may or may not put in the face of her home culture? I know this sounds like the build up to some grand statement, but it's actually a fairly genuine request. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. It's understandable given the nature of the biography, but there's not a lot of material on "normal" things. How does she feel about IPC's? Tajara? Humans? Skrell? Other? There's so much about "Mazaka is not like the other Tajarnathi" but very little about "You can see the disestablishment in his eyes." Please expand more upon the person. There's more details to soften the blow of the app in this draft, but it doesn't really answer much of the feedback from the last application. To mention a couple: Change and Positive Notes There were quite a few changes you made to the biography that I feel really made an improvement. Expanding upon the brothers, even if only slightly, really gave the impression that these were people rather than just names. Mentioning the overcrowding on Ouereeaeaeaea and the nearby cities was a nice touch that I felt showed the fluidity of the setting. It's not completely detached from the rest of the world. Your response to the "why Unathi?" question is much less overtly dismissive of the race than in previous drafts. It now raises a few eyebrows because you felt it necessary to add your own ideological background (apparently it's worth interjecting the point that you're not one of those fake feminists in an application to play as a space lizard. idk. Maybe subscribing to one ideology or another makes you more qualified to RP having scales.)[/i] and comes across as more "how dare they have a different culture" than "they are big dumb lizards who hate technology". This isn't entirely the case. Believe it or not, there's a well done deconstruction of the archetype of a "sassy lady lizard" that I was very happy to see. There have also been a few less polished ones that I have seen in the past. You don't need to be the one that says "not all female Unathi are pushovers" to the community. It seems like they've come to that conclusion themselves. "But Loow, I want to anyway." Ok then let's continue on with feedback. Last application was met with a lot of "straight forward +1's" and "in depth -1's" and it tends to feel like the -1's give (objectively) better feedback in regards to how to improve. I'd love it if everyone gave feedback and went into obsessive depth in their feedback, but sadly I don't even do that all the time. What are some things you could work on to make this application or character better or sell it to the (picky members of the) crowd more effectively? There's a lot of ways for anyone to improve, but I'm typing way too much so let's see if I can wrap this up. -More details about the character would be nice. I feel like more *fluff* about her opinions, her likes (or anything you want to write about really) could do a good deal to separate this character design from the easy to label archetype of "sassy lizard lady who don't need no man." You've really improved upon your old design and I really love seeing growth. - I love your style of including anecdotes and stories that involve the character, but it might be nice to get fed a few details that aren't about "why she's not like other girls". I'm not going to say "write 3 pages about why she loves Cinnamon Toast Crunch" but it might be nice to know more about this character than her plight. Maybe I'm just nosy or maybe I just really like character talk. Maybe I'm being too harsh because I get the impression that you actually have the capacity to make a ridiculously well put-together character, but get the impression you're getting it too easy by saying "I can do this one trope about not being polite to male Unathi." You made this character design better than it was, but I feel like you can still add more. Mazaka is more than just the events that happened to her. Hit us with some hard details that aren't just about being a lady-lizard. Answer a few questions that you feel the reader should have the answer to. And for all that's good in this world, fix the spelling of the word "Slained" to "Slain." It's killing me softly. I'm probably going to end up posting in here again, but for now it's a -1 from Loow. There's a lot of issues still present from the last thread that I'd like to at least see talked about by Neb, the writer. At the very least "Screw you, Loow! I can do if I want!" I'm still miffed that sections of this app are the same as the last one with only minor changes like the position of a "..." while the spelling of the one typing-error I noticed is still there. To sum up my post even further: Better, but not yet good enough! Do more things because I am rude! Can explain things pls? TTYL -1

write your own animals you hack

Seen this sort of dispenser in use today. It's efficient. A rename of the latex gloves is also acceptable. I honestly prefer this mechanical change over the current system of "like 20 gloves per box."

After chatting with TheMuncorn, I can say that they care about their design and have put some thought into it. I hope you enjoy playing Skrell. Best of luck and don't be afraid to ask any questions you might have. Application Accepted.

Remember: You can post a link to your application in OOC once per round.

Heyo. Came back two days later, just like I said I would. Here's some little gripes before I go on much further. Current in game year is actually 2458. Knock a hundred years off of your current dates, and your character will be more than a prophecy of things to come. Also the spelling of Qerrbalak is a little off, but let's be fair. It's a crazy thing to spell. Your backstory reads much better now than it did before. I love the fact that, with the hundred year subtraction, Kelal'Nyka would have been born on the year of first contact between the Humans and Skrell. I'm just a fan of fun facts. Being raised in a galaxy where aliens are a known fact of life would likely have some impact on how he views them. Have you put any thought into how he would feel about Humans? Tajara? Unathi? IPC's?

Checklist of signs that Muncorn will probably do fine: [+] Pretty good at RP [+] Got feedback on application [+] Responds well to criticism [+] Shows interest in their character design Despite how my last post reads, your application is not terrible. Your character's first name is pretty good, and the inclusion of the name addition was a promising detail. If you've got some spare creativity lying around, come up with a last name that you'd like for the character and throw it in there. The age thing comes as a surprise now and then, yes. Spacing out the achievements a little bit would make the young Kelal'Nyka a little bit older. That's one solution I see for the age limitation issue. While getting hung up on little details is one of my favorite passtimes, the important thing is that you have a character that you really enjoy and would like to see on the station. I'm interested to see what you write up for a backstory, because I honestly enjoy looking at a nice backstory on occasion. It's a little worrying that there hasn't been activity on this thread for a few days. I was hoping that you would have made whatever changes you wanted to make by now, but you're not totally out of luck. I'm holding off on making a final call on this application for a little while. Assuming nobody forces a call to be made on this earlier app due to time constraints, I can personally hold from making a call for 48 hours. If there hasn't been any change in this thread in that time, then I'll go ahead and pass a judgement on the application.

Does the permanent marker go dry if you leave the box open for too long?

I had a wonderful response to this about five hours ago in which I touched on little details and serious concerns. It was nice and even had some humor to balance out my in depth analysis. I've lost that post. So instead I'm going to give you a quick version with the nice bits cut out. You want feedback. Feedback is good for all of us. I saw you RP earlier today and you weren't half bad. You clearly have passion, so why isn't is in your application at all? -You said "[Name]" instead of typing out a name in the biography. Could you not be bothered? -The name you have for this character has no surname. You were proud to say you read the lore "quite thoroughly." Surely you saw a name or two. They tend to have surnames. - Why is this character 27? I don't understand that part one bit. Skrell live a while, so it's not like you needed to rush him and have him young. Not to mention that age disqualifies him from working in quite a few positions that your biography suggests he'd likely be interested in. Like medical doctor. And virologist. - I usually complain when people do the two paragraph minimum and call their character done. Your biography, despite its format, is technically three sentences. - Your biography for the character is barebones to say the least. It's just a mention of his home and his resume. Your biography, and really your entire application, is your opportunity to showcase your character and really sell it. Acceptance isn't obligatory. That's why it's a whitelist. Develop your character. From what I've seen of you by ghosting after you on station, you're not terrible. Show us. Whiterabit says you usually put a lot of thought into the characters you play. This was not the time to suddenly stop. This application wreaks of obligatory penciling in of the biography section, a lack of thought in regards to the character you're asking to be able to play and gives the impression that you're completely apathetic towards the whole ordeal. As this application stands, I can't and won't accept it. I suggest you start writing a character.

I'm keeping the house and forums. You can have the car and OOC.

You can't trust the system.