Was I "banned" from becoming a moderator? As I recall, this was gone over before, and I was never given the impression either officially or unofficially this was the case. I can understand the desire to re-interpret how the past went if it suits you, but don't do that, if you don't mind. I've resigned numerous times from various staff positions, certainly, I've been around the ballpark in that regard. A majority of those resignations were largely tendered with not having enough time to commit to the staff position, and knowing there'd be better persons for the job than I'd be if I were to stick around and do nothing with the position. We've seen numerous times after all, that inactive staff can be a problem, so for a majority of the cases where I did decide to step down from the associated staff positions, that was the case.
As for the moderator tenure and how that went, I stepped down when I was doing my work as a staff member very poorly, and I needed to distance myself from the staff position so as to focus on bettering myself and rethinking how I deal with people and other community issues. Was I asked by admin staff to consider resignation at the time, before action was forced if I fucked up again? Yeah, for sure. Garn especially thought it was a good idea, had I not taken action, the entire situation would've been worse off for everybody involved. I was in a pretty bad mental state, and the fact I didn't rein myself in sooner is a major regret of mine.
The same could be said of anybody, it's incredibly easy to paint anyone as "combative" especially if they don't agree with the accuser on any given issue. Just the nature of things.
I'm a player in good standing. I had prior history many years ago about being an unreliable command whitelistee (and god were people right about how bad I was), and since 2015-16(ish) I haven't had it stripped; one notable figure that I've become less bad, if not better. I've played command roles responsibly for that given time - I apologize in advance to anyone who had a rather mediocre experience, I have hit or miss days. I make it a priority of mine to contribute to the overall enjoyment of the round, whether it is for a backdrop character like an engieborg or for an integral command character. I don't commonly say it - and I also understand that being sappy too often tends to wear thin on people so I generally avoid doing it - but I do care about the community, especially the individuals I've come to call friends here. I care about trying to make the game and the roleplay setting enjoyable for most if not everyone there is.
Community, friends, a hobby, all that stuff is pretty important to me. Why would I throw all that away for something petty? I'm definitely committed to writing, it is something that is fun and engaging to think up all kinds of odd ideas and make them part of the server's story. I really didn't have to write this out, but I am pretty motivated to do the job well this time, tie up the loose ends laid around from the last time I was lore for humans, etc.