Loow

Muncorn is fine, but his application is leaving me unsatisfied. What do you want to do? If you don't feel like answering that, how do you feel about things? Have you seen any good movies lately? What do you like about lore? What sort of stuff makes you think "Yeah that was alright to read"? You left the Ckey blank empty and it would be nice if you explained some of your goals, my friend. Show us that you're "an avid reader and thinker on synthetic purposes" and tell us about that time you "actually explained IC how posibrains work" Here's a ping so you notice this a little quicker. xoxo, Loow

Application Denied.

I'm sold.

Hey. Loow here. Gonna drop some feedback. You've clearly put in work, and I feel critique is the best way to help something improve. As a note: I had gotten about halfway through writing a response to this app when I suddenly lost all progress on the post. I'm hoping I can make up for this with in-depth analysis. I've actually been working on my old Unathi whitelist application with renewed gusto over these last few days, so I can't help but be a little more interested in responding to apps on the species right now. There are a few spelling/grammar/whatever notes to make on this section, but that's okay. Nobody's perfect, and everything's a chance to learn. I'll mention a few of them so we can move on to other things. The "s" in "strength" is missing. "Transferred" is spelled slightly differently. The lowercase "i" next to "noticed" should ideally be a capital "I" in that context. The underlined "of" could be deleted entirely to make that idea flow more smoothly. "... a war that killed more than two billion Unathi..." The last sentence drags on a little. If you wanted to, you could cut it into several smaller sentences. I'm not crazy about the idea that mechanical details (perceived strength and damage resistance) attracted you to the species, but we don't exactly pick what catches our attention. Your answer to the second prompt is quite short. I think this might partly be because much of your answer to the first prompt actually applies to the second. I'd suggest using some of your ideas from the first question to expand upon the second. You could possibly also consider going into greater detail about what you like about the Unathi when you're saying why "you wish to play this specific race" and give us some of your honest thoughts. It couldn't hurt. As it stands, your answer is more focused on stating facts than explaining how you feel about them. I'd like to stop and say that this is a very strong name. I like it. The apostrophe might feel like a little much to me, but the name as a whole is very alien and looks quite creative to me. Not bad. Let's get started on the biography. There is a lot to be said about it, but I'd rather not be hypercritical of every detail. I'll try to make a few points and keep moving. If Izkhezash was looking at the horizon when the bombs fell, then he's likely blind. If he heard and saw the explosions that crippled Moghes, then he might even be deaf. You also use the word terrain a few times when describing the newly formed wasteland. I'm not sure it works in all of those cases, and it might be nice to see a little more variation in word choice. The battle scene seems unnecessary. There are a few issues leading up to that point, but I just don't see a blow by blow description of an objectively meaningless fight as something that helps us understand the character. The two combatants were both survivors of a horrible event, and your description points out that they likely couldn't leave their shelters until shortly before this fight. Why would two strangers care about fighting each other after their surroundings have been so thoroughly decimated? They happened to be at opposite ends of a relatively short conflict, but the world as they know it may have just ended. These people don't know exactly how bad the damage is and it seems like their priorities both seem to be immediate survival. One wants food for his people, and the other wants shelter. It makes more sense that the strangers would try to come some sort of agreement. The main character has shelter and the survivor (who may have been surviving on his own for some time) could have known how to get food in the wastes. They could have hunted together. If nothing else, they could have both just walked away. This biography seems incredibly rushed in terms of pacing. This guy has no idea where his family is, so he decides to work for NanoTrasen? There's a huge jump in logic there. I like the idea that he's trying to make himself a new home, but the biography glazes over how Izkhezash feels as a character. You have quite a bit of good feedback to consider, but I'm going to take a moment to point out a reply that does not help the applicant. I disagree with quite a few of the sentiments in this response. First of all, I disagree with the idea that being "well known" makes anyone qualified for a whitelist. You can be not very well known at all and still impress people with an interesting character design and thought provoking dialogue. While endorsements help tremendously, they're hardly any good at all if they have no substance to them. I also disagree with the assertion that "If [anyone]can do taj, they can do unathi too." Feedback is especially important when you already have one whitelist, because it gives others the chance to share any thoughts they may have regarding your current characters. In other words, you might get an idea of what people think of the characters you made with your first whitelist. I cannot stress enough how glad I was to read this. I get the impression that you genuinely want to improve, which is a good trait to see in anyone. You might not get this whitelist, but I hope it will help you along the way as you continue writing. I hope some of this feedback helps you. I do not support this application, but I do look forward to seeing you improve over time. I'm offering a -1, but I do hope that you will keep on writing.

Hey. Loow here. I'm sorry to see that there hasn't been much if any feedback on this application. It always helps when there's a discussion on an app. It gives insight into what you're thinking about a character and helps people find something they want to latch onto and talk about. It's like a circle of criticism in a way. I'd like to go ahead and drop some feedback so you have at least something to show for all of this. Keep in mind, this is all just feedback. When it comes right down to it, this application lacks endorsement and runs short on discussion. The underlined sections above mark very strong wording which makes a pretty simple statement. You feel strongly about some details of the lore, but this section goes on to say more of the same. What's gotten you so interested? What makes you think? What do you think about these things that make you think? It can't hurt to expound on and it might encourage a little conversation on a future app. As Coalf said, the biography could be more gripping, but it is not inherently bad. Recently, you mentioned that you had gotten cracking on another, more expansive draft of Xeir'quil's story. I'm hopeful that seeing a little more content might encourage more readers to want to respond to a future app. There are a few grammatical notes which could be made regarding capitalization, commas, and sentence structure. I won't dwell on these. In Private Messages and the like, you've been very concerned about if your past actions mean you might be "shut down" or automatically denied on the grounds of "That time LR messed up." Yeah, don't worry about that. I think I've been crystal clear since the strip took effect that you're allowed to reapply. I'm pretty sure I even encouraged it. To quote myself: Reassess. Revitalize. Reapply. Application denied.

Application Accepted. You have plenty of endorsements, are active enough, and have written a fine backstory. http://forums.aurorastation.org/viewtopic.php?f=95&t=2981&p=69262&hilit=honorable+gary+chapman#p69262 Just remember what your character is siding with if he decides objects are worth more than organic lives.

Yeah, fam. Just pretend to be clueless. "I mean, I get the general idea, but like... so can you do the engine or... I mean like... If I do it, I'mma fuck up proper, let's be real knowwhatimsayin'?" You made some cool points and this was a fun post to read. Just have that kiddo play the "Son, I dunno how the fuck this shit works" card and get those lazy fuccboys to do work while you help.

http://i.imgur.com/9D0IQsB.png Biesel Representatives Claim Disinterest Editors note: Translated to Basic. For the first time in the history of the Federation Representative system, Representatives have opted to void their Entity of Interest without naming a preferred Entity. A small ring of sanctioned Representatives to the Federal Republic of Biesel and the Tau Ceti System have approached the Grand Council with notices of extended leave. Following misguided legislative actions on the part of Biesel’s governing body, these Representatives had remained hopeful that rough waves would smooth with time. With the decision to temporarily cease trade with Tau Ceti, they continued to hold onto the belief that the system was capable of making sound decisions if left with their own devices. This optimism appears to have given way as they state that their efforts would be better utilized anywhere other than the Tau Ceti system. Prominent Representative to the Republic of Biesel Lioquix Jrugl-Wliesh has voiced his understanding and displeasure with the leaving diplomats. “Their decision to cease diplomatic conversations with Biesel is unfortunate, but not unexpected. These individuals gave much of their focus to establish healthy relations with the independent Human system. They have seen notable progress. Recent developments in the Cetian capital caused these brave individuals to question the validity of this system’s workings. This is temporary. The disinterested individuals will continue to assist other entities in the future. They will eventually see their time was not wasted. The beings of this system are capable of learning from history and contributing to the stellar community.” Following the shift in focus of the disinterested diplomats, only three Nralakk Federation Representatives currently claim the Republic of Biesel as their Entity of Interest. These remaining three continue to travel throughout the Tau Ceti system with the exception of Representative Lioquix Jrugl-Wliesh, who has opted to remain firmly grounded in Mendell City proper. Chief Director of the Nralakk Diplomatic Corps Yulix-Kal'lo has taken this opportunity to share his own thoughts on the matter, claiming that the situation in Mendell City shows the need for the Nralakk Diplomatic Corps. He asserts that there must be some form of repercussion when a trusted official maliciously damages the reputation of their home, and vows to remain vigilant for similar transgressions within the ranks of the Nralakk Federation Representatives, disinterested and otherwise.

Tau Ceti Political Leak, “Bigots and Criminals” 11.13.2458 The rogue outlier system of Tau Ceti has forced its way into political discourse once again. This time, the failure is on the part of the Mendell City Hall rather than the tumultuous Bieselitte congress. The city’s confused and fractured security has thus far been unable to recognize the presence of compromised audio and video recording devices within the capital’s city hall, leading to a massive unintentional disclosure of political correspondence. Recent recordings from within the Council’s newly formed Synthetic Affairs Commission paint a grim picture of the city council and their political actions. Footage from within City Hall shows City Councillor Alexandria “Emma” Godswood claiming to have once lived as a synthetic shell and referencing this as a part of her credentials for a position as the head of the committee. The footage continues to show City Councillor Nathaniel Forge agree with this logic shortly before several xenophobic statements were made by Godswood herself. The voices heard in these recordings belong to Sol Alliance veteran Nathaniel Forge, Cetian socialite Alexandria Godswood, Biesel independence advocate Monaup Quaat, and MCPD Chief Jim Calhoun. From what is shown, it is to be assumed that committee member George Okafor and Mayor Gleb Plyushkin have not yet been active in the budding commission. Subtitles have been provided in Sol Common. Words spoken in thick Cetian accent or with enhanced stress have been marked appropriately. The sheer magnitude of data released in this leak has security agencies scrambling to verify the integrity of their systems while Godswood’s comments on the Skrell have sent politicians throughout the Sol Alliance into a whirlwind of reactionary discord. Sol political analyst James Peeve offers his opinion among the many voices. “The horrid thing about this [situation] in Mendell is that it couldn’t be more poorly timed,” Peeve explains. “The Alliance has already made it clear that they value Jargon, as they ought to. The embargo is in full effect because the Republic [of Tau Ceti] stepped too far out of line already. All a display like this will do is keep it going longer. ” “It’s really something, isn’t it? Bieselittes will go out of their way to tell their household appliance it has an opinion, but they won’t bother trying to get along with their galactic neighbors.” Peeve concluded his commentary with a direct statement to our reporters. “I’ve been watching these tapes and I have to say that it doesn’t make Mendell City look good. The City Council as it is now? A bunch of criminals and bigots… But I guess you’ll be the ones reporting on that soon enough.” We cannot yet say with certainty if the rest of the recorded data is as scandalous as Mr. Peeve implies, but analysts like Mr. Peeve seem confident that this is only the beginning.

Application accepted.

For the record, Hunter, I don't resent you and I don't blame you for being upset with how things turned out. It seems to me that the more prevalent issue you see is not with the whitelist being taken, but the inefficiency of the process of application itself. I still don't want to make promises, but I can at least try to say as sincerely as possible that I will try to coordinate with Tish to process more applications more often. There is and may very well always be some sort of backlog of unprocessed applications, but the very least I can do is try to make sure that it continues to be worked on as time goes on. In regards to this decision, I still stand by it. The Head of Security faxed central command in order to see if they had permission to go along with their gimmick. They received a fax saying the gimmick was fine and that they should be allowed to continue working so long as they were not breaking regulations. From here, there came the decision by the Head of Security to interpret the roboticist's actions as breaking regulations. The charges were Neglect of Duty and Petty Theft. The roboticist had renovated their workplace and made mechanical arms using their own supply of metal, but this for some reason was used as a reason to begin pursuing an arrest for i206 and i102. The HoS's OOC reasoning was that the notes regarding Petty Theft had the word "metal" in it and that by changing their work space, the roboticist was not building augments. It wasn't quite that clear cut. It seems that we started to discuss it, but then the topic suddenly changed. You had many chances to check your behavior or go back to discussing the points you say you wanted to make, but you chose not to. Not only were you not cut off from your points with a sudden ban, as your description makes it sound, but you continued to actively continue hostilities up to the minute your ban took effect, despite multiple chances to reassess the situation or make your points. If you're going to make the point that your security team told you they were breaking regulations by staying in their lab and building, then I am sorry to say that this still sounds like bad HoS work to me. At no point should a roboticist's decision to do their job be seen as something they may need to be brought in or processed for. If you'd like to make the point that your officers pressured you into agreeing with the arrest, then I'm sorry to say that doesn't help the situation either. A Head of Security should be able to assess a situation to a certain degree. Certainly to the extent that they can tell when regulations are not being broken.

I've seen this officer actually tell people their friends got shot dead while processing them. I've seen him tack on multiple charges for a single infraction. I've seen him jump to people who he thought he could start a fight with and try to instigate situations that would lead to an arrest. And that's all in the same round as a non-antagonist. With this information in mind, I believe we should all start watching for Cane and his antics. Sometimes he acts in ways that are interestingly rude or force crew interactions, but other times he goes too far. I'm sure that CX has no OOC gripe with anyone and I am sure that being talked to will lead him to try to have Cane be slightly less "shitcurity" by default. I'm positive he'll also see the flaws with being "Doctor Officer Cane" if he thinks on it.

Application Denied.

http://i.imgur.com/9D0IQsB.png Review of the Diplomatic Corps Editors note: Translated to Basic. During the weeks following the formation of the Nralakk Diplomatic Corps, Chief Director Yulix-Kal’lo * and his assistants have interviewed dozens of recognized Representatives and held multiple politicians to temporary suspension pending review. The Corps itself was formed as a response to the concerns raised following the completion of Tup actions on the Elyran planet of Bursa. Earlier this week, the Chief Director of the Nralakk Diplomatic Corps ended the Procedures of Review for Representative Tlaki’Qeblios with his own synopsis of the department’s founding. “As interviews revealed, Director of Tup Forces Qroisht Tup had conducted face to face meetings with multiple sanctioned Representatives prior to the actions of the Lii’dra within Elyran space. This pattern led the Director to seek the Party Facing Review of his own accord. From information provided, it is to be concluded that the Director was conducting his own reviews of multiple Representatives. At no point did the Party Facing Review cause harm to his Entity or his Federation through his actions.” With this ruling, Representative Tlaki’Qeblios was allowed to continue pursuing diplomatic cooperation within The Serene Republic of Elyra. As the Grand Council continues to closely observe the actions of this newly founded group, Chief Director Yulix-Kal’lo remains stalwart in his assertions that Director Qroisht Tup’s private interviews signify a demand for the continued operation of the Nralakk Diplomatic Corps. Although the Director himself could not be reached for comment, he has released official statements to the Grand Council attesting to the validity of our Federation’s newest tributary. These first months are critical for the fledgling Corps as the Grand Council considers whether it will endorse its ongoing activity. The Diplomatic Corps has been issued an estimated forty cases to review despite its low number of investigatory staff, leaving many analysts to wonder if this hastily assembled team can keep pace with the dispersed Representatives and political persons of interest of this Federation. *Translator’s note: Errors on the part of our Translation Team resulted in a misprint of Chief Director Yulix-Kal’lo’s name in previous articles. The party at fault has been allowed temporary leave to reflect on their actions.

Hello. This is Loow. I'm a member of the lore team and I tend to err on the sides of caution and critique. I appreciate criticism as well as interest, and it is because of this that I choose to comment on this application. Cooperation is an essential factor of any team or dynamic, and it seems you have interests that overlap the chosen areas of expertise or interest of several other team members. First and foremost, I am concerned about how things could be made awkward if all of us happy cogs don't mesh well. One could almost say that I'm shouting that the sky is falling in more than a few of my worries, but I digress. You are applying to be a lore dev who takes interest in humanity. At some point in the past, someone used the phrase "human overseer" and I could see the clouds plummeting to the ground. I tend to see Humanity as a strong unifying topic for not only our players, but our team as well. To assert that there would be a single lore dev assigned or allowed to write about the people of Earth and all her colonies would be a far step over the edge in my eyes. Should you be added to the team, it would be my hope beyond all hopes that you would "play nice" with all of our fine writers and realize that Humanity is a connection we all share. You also take an interest in synthetic lore, but we already have two lore developers who have chosen synthetic lore as either their specialty or downright only topic of activity. Some might even say we have two too many. What's more, one of the more interesting bits of lore I ever saw regarding artificial beings came from our Diona Overseer. This is not exactly a position we are looking to fill, as we already have an entire team who has touched on the subject at one point or another. You also mention openings in corporations, which is something of a Cake which already has a slice cut out. We have Cake himself who has sliced that cake, actually. He's eating it as well as having it just now, and I don't think he's planning on giving up the topic he has shown the most interest in. Then there's your interest in the Skrell which, is always pleasant to see. In watching how people react to certain themes or take interest in aspects of the Skrell, I attempt to form a fair opinion of what topics people may enjoy seeing touched on. I love seeing your interest and I love that you have a passion. You sought to begin a correspondence with me some time before this, but my own scheduling (as well as the age old excuse of "i forgot") kept me quite distracted during that interval. I would love to hear any questions and even chat about the Skrell. There something of a favorite of mine. While I may enjoy discussing them, I would likely not enjoy seeing a second or third red pen scratching its way through the details of Nralakk. I would like to point out that Jackboot was not entirely correct when he claimed there were no objections to adding you to the team. Please do not take it personally. My first reaction to any lore developer application is to be dubious, doubtful, and claim that the roster is already too crowded. It's only with some time and thought that I begin to consider the possibility of adding yet another member to our "already too crowded" roster. As much as I appreciate Jackboot's passion and work ethic, I would be rather miffed if I let him try to add still another member to the team while asserting that the clouds have parted. I would be more than happy to critique your canonization application, but I am not won over toward seeing you on the team just yet. As much as I love and respect our dear Co-Head-Admin Shadow, he would not necessarily be the one to work with you, or any prospective lore developer, pending acceptance. We one or more developers for every topic on your list. In the case of humanity, we have an as many possible writers as we have members of the team. We have no "vacancies" per say as the roster has been somewhat fluid with fluctuations here and there. I appreciate the polite nature of your Out Of Character writing and I hope you will not take offense that I am attempting to convey my respectful disapproval of your application. You have a wonderful attitude and wonderful intentions. At this moment, I do not approve of your application and see the idea of "hiring" a new lore developer to dip their feet in a wide pool as unnecessary. However. Should you be added to the team for your interest in Humanity, I would be inclined to work with you to some extent. I consider the idea of a "Human dev" to be silly, but this has not stopped me from endorsing some developers who happen to have an interest in humanity in the past. If you really are planning on filling in blanks and fleshing out details, then you'd likely fit in fine. Still, you did apply to do the jobs of several existing lore developers. This did not inspire initial confidence. In summation: Vile, I may not necessarily be enthusiastic about the idea of you joining the team, but I am more than capable of biting the bullet if the magnanimous boot has decided his word is law. I am willing to speak with you about your canonization application, but its content and existence along with your vocal interest in several themes has left me concerned. I am slightly concerned that you would be hired with Team Members hoping to see Human content shortly before swerving out of your lane. I also don't appreciate what you've been putting in spoilers. It's "cute" but it does absolutely nothing to inspire confidence. Could you please explain what you're trying to say by the following? Because I'm fairly certain I have an idea. It began shortly after our very own Hurtz said he would pass along relevant files. If you're going down this road, then I have to say I'm still quite entrenched in my belief that adding you to the team is not exactly necessary. The themes are already in the mind of the writer who gave them to you and are fairly easy to guess. Or perhaps see coming a mile away. Thank you for your interest, but I disapprove of this application presently.

Pump the breaks there, bud. We already have so much sexual tension in the House of the Rising Skrell that it's igniting swamp gas and convincing wayward astronomers that the galaxy's ending. As the pretentious S.O.B. they put in charge of Skrell, I'm super down for hearing a word or two, but damned if I'm not sour on the thought of another coworker defaulting to "But we cold war now." These are strange times in which we live! Shit's gone from back and forth so much that I swear Paula Abdul had a say in it. Wait then, what's the business? Am I supposed to be singing praises or bitching relentlessly? Both. Alright then let's get at it. Good. Personally, I think being a little direct now and then is a good thing. That said, what happens when I decide I've gone off the edge and call your work garbage? Can we go 'round and 'round a bit and still make up in time for brunch? Can we talk out our emotions and come to understand each other? Can we just disagree on some things and not be totally up in arms about each detail? Probably. What I really care about is that we can all come together and deal after one of us pisses the rest of the bunch off. Next, we've got Earth. I'm a fan of it. It serves purposes. Good to see you're willing to build on it rather than raze it. We also still have that little issue of a cold war "of sorts" with the Skrell. To me, this sounds like a statement that grabs attention without giving much substance. Albeit, you haven't exactly been interrogated on it too harshly up to this point. From my perspective, every damn race has tension with the Skrell including the Skrell. Jackboot saw fit to add "also they have a cold war with unathi xD" at some point. TajaraxSkrell has gotten a little awkward since the PRA pressed the big button on an ALA city. Humans are currently snipping at each other as one group gets close to stepping on toes. And then there's the on-station IPC's who I shit you not have ended up being more racist toward Skrell than Skrell have been toward IPC's. Making "a cold war of sorts" with the Skrell is neither new nor sexy from my perspective. I don't see retconning the past to make the current relationship more tense than it already is as a very attractive option. In fact, "tensions with the waterboys" are something of an ever-present theme already. What do you really want to do? What's new? Anything pleasant coming down the pipes? Now that I have that out in the air, I'd like to take a moment to say I can sometimes be approachable as well. Feedback is something that I find to be lacking from time to time, so oftentimes my first few lines can be somewhat critical. If you end up being added to the team, I will be working with you.

Application Denied.

Application Accepted.

I want to read this new application Calion has been talking about writing. There hasn't been an update to this thread or its bio for some time. I believe we all want to see the new and improved version that sounds like it's been in the works for a month or so. There's been more than enough time to update the story in this thread further with the changes the applicant would like to make, but it hasn't happened yet. This application has been up long enough. Application Denied.

Nebula has proven to be dedicated to her design, thoughtful in her writing, and interested in the Skrell. For the sake of brevity, I am not going to go into excruciating detail in this post. I have spoken with Nebula of my concerns and have asked a few questions. Needless to say, I had quite a few reservations. To sum it up: There's way too much fixation on synthetics for me to feel comfortable. A lot of the events in the character's life make me feel concerned, chief among these, the "Accidental" Intelligence. As a fix to some of the more worrying themes, his Synthetic Incident is no longer "a big secret that nobody ever found out about ssshhh!" Aveo’Kluup-Olesh actually was spoken to about his relapse and was given a formative chance at rehabilitation due to his youth and the potential he, as well as any individual, has to make the Universe greater. Rather than having a big, exclusive secret a-la Tajara, he has been directed more toward group activity and togetherness with his fellow beings. Has this socialization smoothed over some of his flaws? Has he learned that fear for the sake of one's self does not permit keeping detrimental secrets from his fellow organic beings? Has this Skrell proven capable of growing beyond his upbringing and his fear of being seen as the odd man out? I suppose that's up to the vision Nebula has for the character. Needless to say, if anyone feels this decision is ill advised or sees issue with the way any Skrell character is executed on station, they are more than welcome to PM me on these forums with their concerns. Presently, I have faith in Nebula's dedication to this character design and hope to see the player break out of the comfort zone we have come to be familiar with. "You’re a smart lad - expand your fields." Remember, it is only together that we can ever hope to achieve true progress. Application Accepted.

I'd like to start off by saying that Nebula is at a disadvantage. For one, Nebula's had a history of RPing belligerent pro-synthetic characters that do things like transfer cyborgs into a chassis saying "Go! And be free!!1" at their place of work. That sort of thing shows next to no consideration for IC context and would most likely get them fired. I mean, it's not like NT would just let them go be IPC's. They'd put the MMI back in a lawed cyborg. I honestly don't know why this never came across the character's mind. Next, I've had a history of posting expanded feedback on a few of Nebula's works because she actually writes for applications. People who put in effort ought to get criticism. If anyone is reading this and wants to add a plus one without saying anything useful, don't worry. Your feedback won't be considered if it doesn't say anything. Finally, she's recently been added to the lore team. This only raised my already unreasonable expectations. That said, Neb has spoken to me a bit about this character in the past. I was happy to hear that the character might have some depth to them as she elaborated on her plan. I counted the day as a win and went offline. Imagine my surprise when I came online the next day to see the application already posted. This character was meant to be in the "broad" stages of development. Just barely starting out, as I understood. I didn't expect to see this app for days, but here it is. Posted only a few hours later. This application is a little disappointing, simply because I thought Nebula actually had interest in making a character. Nebula's most recent Unathi application had multiple sections for multiple moments in that character's life. At this time, this biography has just one moment brought into view. To me, that says that Nebula has more that she wants to write about or should write about, but has chosen to leave out in order to get the application out as fast as possible. You could do better, and I'm fairly certain you're already a good ways into a few other first-hand accounts or short stories. Now let's talk about the biography. Is the takeaway from this line meant to be that his parents were themselves hunting and killing their countrymen and friends? They're already programmers and repairmen. Do they also have to be murderers? Walk with me a minute. You make it sound like the AI singularity was a king making decrees, passing laws and levying taxes. And what's more, you continue to treat this like there was just some guy to talk to. Like the abstract idea of all machines was just a dude you could go to and ask nicely for a loan or a cup of sugar. This sounds silly, and trust me I know silly when I see it. While we're at it, just stop saying Glorsh all together. "Glorsh" is in your application no less than nineteen times. This might help you shed your casual attitude about what was essentially an enigmatic entity. Presently, it comes across a tad bit casual. "So I was texting Glorshy worshy the other day <3." In the spirit of saying nice things, I'd like to mention that I really do appreciate what you've written about your character's adoptive father. He seems to be level headed, interesting, and an all around good choice for a replacement parent, as far as brainwashed children are concerned. I am also a fan of your paragraph or so detailing life as he started to age. It seems like he really had a good influence on the poor kid's life. I can't stress the importance of this section enough. This was incredibly formative time period for the Skrell as a culture, and Aveo'Speedwagon would have been on the receiving end of quite a bit of pride and purpose. If I had to explain it in a poster's contents or less, I would mention Rosie the Riveter. Think of this in cooperation with the last quote. It's all them. Individuals working alongside their fellow Skrell to make a future for themselves that seemed impossible not so long ago. For some people, this feeling would be so intense that they would stop seeing their fates in the stars and look to one another instead. Get out. The AI is too anime. It's a machine that can think, not a child playing tag. I'm not especially enamored with the concept that Aveo’Kluup-Olesh accidentally made an anime intelligence nor am I particularly infatuated with your chosen approach in regards to the execution of what would very clearly be seen as one of the more controversial details of your application. Skrell have plugs?! Human in frog suit detected. From there, the quality just continues to dive into situation comedy and wacky shenanigans for a few lines. Let's just pass that on by. Needless to say, whatever you were trying to convey with that account of Aveo’Kluup-Olesh and his whacky apartment mishaps could have been executed more cleanly. "After all, it just wanted to play Hide and Seek with its creator." Alright. There's a lot more to say, but this post is getting a bit long. If you squint, you can see a few interesting character traits and the potential for something more compelling than what we're getting. The opening had me hopeful that you might be able to focus on the character and tell us about them. Some of our previous conversation even had me hopeful that you might release a really fun app about a well thought out character. Granted, I also thought you were going to be working on it for more than a few hours. There are some definite holes in your character design that could have been filled in the space that you used to make synthetics seem like misunderstood qt roboto droid children. To word it differently: Gee, Neb. You sure did write another story about synthetics. So what planet is your character from? I'm actually a bit put out by it, honestly. I had my hopes up. It seems one person has already responded to your application. You should probably look at what feedback they've given as well.

Is this some sort of prank?

Thank you, Calion12, for responding, but it seems like this might be as far as the conversation gets for this app. There has been no word from Hiddenroman at all since this app was posted, and there has been plenty of time for any sort of sign of life. Application Denied.

Hey there. We've not gotten very much feedback in this thread, and it's a little bit saddening. There are clearly people who like your work enough to post a +1, but it would have really helped a lot if they posted more substance than a sentence. I'll go ahead and try being a little more critical with this application, because there has not been very much dialogue back and forth. I don't you to have a denial that doesn't tell you anything useful. Here are a few notes that could help future applications. - Biography: Oftentimes, a more extensive or more personal backstory will leave a good impression on readers. The biography tells us everything you want us to know about the character and gives us an idea of how much care you put into your character design. If nothing else, reading more about a character might get people interested and lead them to ask questions about the character. Sometimes this results in a conversation that tells us just as much or more about a character than the original post. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn out story or an in depth analysis, but it certainly would catch attention if it was. -Conversation: When someone responds to an application, I don't consider it to have been worth the poster's time if they don't include some sort of feedback/commentary that you can use or give the reader an idea of your RP/past interactions. The first two posts were a step in the right direction, but nothing came afterward to offer any insight. The hope with responses is that they will give insight as to your playstyle or RP, give feedback about your character or past characters, and hopefully make commentary about the application as a whole. Ideally, this sort of posting would lead the applicant to respond in some way, giving readers an even better idea of the player's interest. There is always a lot to talk about in an application and in a biography. Among the subjects that could have been good conversation topics: Consider your character's life. Think of details or details about Seqquix that you want to share. Don't be afraid to ask questions in applications and post responses to comments. I can't say with certainty that it will encourage more thought provoking feedback, but I can say that people are more likely to look at an application if it has an ongoing conversation between the applicant and others. Why is that? Easy. An application gets moved to the top of the page when someone posts on it. In the spirit of posting to raise interest, I am going to leave this open for just a little while longer. This app really has been up for too long, but I don't want to close it before giving you the opportunity to possibly salvage it. Keep in mind, this application may be dangling close to a denial because of the lack of feedback, but I hope this advice helps you. Even if it doesn't help with this application. Please feel free to respond in this topic. There is still time for more dialogue about this application. If anyone has any questions for Calion about the app or its character, they are free to ask away.

Mofo has consistently shown interest in the Tajara lore, sometimes to the point where it was mildly frustrating. His interest has been genuine enough to distract one of the more competent Skrell players (himself) away from aquatic ventures and instead focus on the narrative of war-torn Adhomai. He's shown the initiative to write several works on his own accord. In the thread for his story of The Brothers Tsyrrkunov, he has even asked for feedback regarding over-arcing plot and storyline. I choose to see this as a sign that Mofo will give serious thought to the stories he hopes to tell with the Tajara and the "big picture" he sees. He has also proven to at times be critical of his work, and I consider that to be an incredibly healthy trait in a lore developer. I've seen Mofo ask questions, show initiative, make an insightful comment now and then, and continue to do so over quite a long span of time. Now that I've gone and said nice things, I'd like to change gears for a time. It may be in your best interest to show your own drive, Synnono. Form your opinions on the species and don't leave low hanging promises about interest based on who gets promoted. Focusing on the merit of the work rather than the author will make the complement seem that much more genuine if you do like the changes you see and decide to pursue an application. On that same note, if he were to write lore that you have a problem with, it's within your rights to share those worries with him. This would require a bit of tough love on your part, Mofo. Get ready to feel less polite. Feedback is an essential part of anything lore related. You seem to have a decent idea of what you're looking for in applications, but don't forget that same kind of feedback can be invaluable in lore work as well. To sum it up, you've got to be able to dish out some negatives regardless of who you're talking to. You'd expect a loredev to tell you if they were worried about some project you were working on. This has been my hope beyond hopes. The Adhomai Civil war has felt static, and Hive's work has made significant progress toward making the conflict feel like an ongoing event rather than just background noise. I had been bouncing ideas around in my head for some time with the hopes of working more closely with Hive on his vision for the Tajara War narrative. As he is no longer able to drive the story forward, I would greatly appreciate seeing the conflict continue to shift and change in a manner that does his groundwork justice. Now for a few questions. Do you think you are capable of: 1. Putting up with Next-Level heckling and bait? 2. Withstanding a torrent of negative feedback on an irregular basis? 3. Writing good lore? 4. Winning over the masses to the extent that they want to read your work for fun? 5. Cooperating with the current loreteam members?