DeadLantern

I think these questions are satisfactory. Good luck on your application, you seem to know what you are doing!

While Tajara may mirror some of our own politics and history, they definitely still have a unique culture and social system that resembles something else entirely. You make a race mixed character, cool. They also live in the countryside--Zhan are known for living in tight and insular communities that traditionally marry with the other families in the village. The father of this character obviously departed this sort of life, as with the Hharar. In the countryside, technology and influence is very limited. The average rural PRA Tajara would not believe heavily in the Party, and may even see them as another monarch stealing their crops. In any case, this family would take a lot of flak for living in the countryside, both for a Zhan out of his community and the interracial marriage. You do not violate this, but it is something to keep in mind. He might be jaded with other Tajara, or even the party, for the way he might be treated. What you write on the page is fine and accurate, but you neglect another part of Tajara culture that is probably important: Religion. Here is what I ask you: what religion is Khaz? Zhan are traditionally followers of the Ma'ta'ke Gods, and Hharar can be either both. Does he shun religion in favor of the party? Or does he deal in Raskariism? Another thing to bring is up is that you speak little of how this character views the world. He is certainly treated a way by this world, but we do not get a sense of his reaction to the world around him. How does he like Hadiism? Is it a bastion where he can finally fit in as one unified people? As a farmer, did he oppose collectivization? What about the discrimination towards Zhans by the Party? And, not to forget, what about the NKA and the PRA? Essentially, I am asking how Khaz thinks of Adhomai and the state of it and her people. Thanks for reading!

Two is obviously the greatest, simply for the custom games.

1. The Rock Nomads are historically sellswords. Think of Landsknecht or any flavor of medieval mercenary. They fight who they are paid for, but they have a grudge against the PRA. Most the caravans in Harr'masir would be paid by the NKA to fight the PRA, with some of the lesser Caravans fighting because they want to. The Mountain King fought chiefly for his caravans. If you want Saffiya to fight for the ALA, she could not go the Mountain King or any caravan; she would likely find a terrorist cell operating outside of a major city. She could also be smuggled anywhere. If you really want to be a "formal" ALA soldier, there were no official Juntas comamnding in Harr'masir, to my knowledge, disregarding Amohda. She could totally still serve in the ALA, however. 2. I get it. It is similar to what the DPRA wants--tradition first. She wants something that is unique to her. It makes sense why she would fight for the ALA. Good application, I like it.

I consider this to be a very good application, though I am a little confused by certain parts. "Saffiya joined the war effort in trying to keep hold of their homeland." - For clarification, she would be fighting for the NKA. If I could quibble, it would not really be Saffiya "joining" the war--I would think the Caravan leaders would get together and decide all together if they would participate in the War, depending on whom paid them. You make it clear that the entire caravan is joining the war, so it is fine. It is just a minor problem involving wording. "Saffiya was once again left feeling betrayed. Harmaliik’s pledge to the NKA - and the caste system it upheld - was something she could not abide by." - This is an interesting passage. Why would Saffiya be against the caste system? The caste system is how peoples like the Rock Nomads can keep their distinct culture and spirit alive--this goes for the M'sai, the Zhan, the Hharar, and the Njarir as well. the PRA attempts to destroy the caste system, which is exactly why the Rock Nomads were grounded. Saffiya could totally have the opinion that the caste system is bad, but then she would have to agree with the PRA, and at least somewhat respect the decision to ground the Rock Nomads in an effort to make one unified Tajara culture. As of right now, it does not seem all too realistic that Saffiya would support such a concept, as the caste system is exactly why Rock Nomads can celebrate their culture, and the destruction of the caste system nearly brought her culture to ruin. Additionally, the ALA also supports the caste system--just without the forced labor and intense boundaries between the castes. The ALA and the DPRA want a return to tradition, similar to the NKA, but without the monarchy. "Relieved to have her daughter back despite their disagreements, Saffiya still couldn’t quite bring herself to forgive her from talking her out of joining the DPRA." - When did Saffiya join the ALA? Harmaliik never fought with the ALA or the NKA, only actually allying with the NKA in 2461, which you talk about. I'd imagine most of the people who rode with Harmaliik would agree with the NKA more than the ALA--and the ALA had almost no presence in Harr'masir during the Second Revolution. Did she join after she left Harmaliik's caravan? Overall, this is a good application, but I'd like to see these passages cleared up, as I am a little confused about their presence.

I think these questions are satisfactory! I am not going to harass you with more questions, but I will tell you this: Marii would either worship the Ma'ta'ke Pantheon or worship Messa and S'rendarr. If religion is a constant in her life, it would be wise to be knowledgeable about the religion she follows. Also, in the purest form of Hadiism, religion would be abolished. The Suns Worship (and earlier, the expired Njarir worship) especially were created to keep the peasantry subservient to the nobility. If she is an extreme Hadiist, she may have to grapple between two parts of the world that mean a lot to her identity yet are technically against each other. Good luck.

Unathi have been on Dominia for 26 years, and a large section of Dominians (Fisanduhans) actively resist Unathi culture seeping into Dominia. A pidgin could perhaps exist on Dominia. Unathi can not select Sol Common as one of their languages, so I will assume that Unathi can only communicate in TCB. I would think TCB would service as the business/lingua franca tongue for humans and Unathi on Dominia. In some places in Dominia, where humans and unathi live very close together, or do trade with a lot but still do not understand TCB, a pidgin would probably exist, though the existence of such a place would be asspull. Additionally, this language wouldn't even technically be a language. A pidgin isn't a language until it has people who speak it natively as a first language (then it becomes a creole). So, for a "language" to exist, there would have to be a place in Dominia where the Unathi and Humans do business talk regularly but neither of them care to or speak TCB. They decide to create some bastard language. I do not buy this for the following reasons: The existence of such a place would be rare and certainly not representative of Dominia as a whole (so why would the entire country adopt it?) This place would have to immediately start trying to create some bastard business language with these warlords (this could happen in 26 years, I give you that). And, plus, it wouldn't even be a language, technically. A child would have to be born within 26 years and they would have to start learning this pidgin language as their /first/ language, not sol common or Azaziba, and enough parents would have to do this for it to be actually considered a language. It does not make sense for there to be a bastard language on Dominia.

You say that Marii is in her late thirties, placing her birth right in the middle of the First Revolution. It is said that she fully places her beliefs into the PRA, but the First Revolution never necessarily clung towards the beliefs of Hadiism--it was very fragmented. Her younger years must have been plagued with war, the entire way of life for the Tajara being destroyed as she grew up. Did she only find Hadiist ideals during this time? What of her parents? Did they fight in the Revolution, storm castle Hadii and the other monarchist castles? Or perhaps, were they a soldier of Hadii, initially serving to uphold monarchism? Were they just people trying to live their lives? Where at? I do not expect a full answer from these questions. I am asking these questions so that the character gets a better sense of the world she inhabited. These questions before will help you answer the real questions I have: 1. The Tajara caste system is extremely influential on their culture, being very real even after the First Revolution. Is she M'sai--many soldiers served their monarchist overlords during the war, but some defected to the revolution? Or Zhan-Khazan, the workhorse of the Nobility, and where the revolution stemmed from? Many Zhan threw off their chains after being oppressed for so long, though a minority held fast to their kings. Or Hharar, the common Tajara, with many serving the monarchists and some serving the various revolutions? Or the Njarir, some of which helped the revolution in its entirety--or the very villains that most Tajara ascribed their oppression. The caste will certainly change how the character views the world and how it reacts to her; it is incredibly important to the character, and it should not be neglected. In short, what caste is Marii, and how does that affect her life? 2. How does Marii view the other castes? This will no doubt rely on her own caste and her parent's place in the First Revolution, as well as the beliefs she has in adulthood. 3. How does Marii view the other factions on Adhomai? Are the NKA the reincarnated devils that brought the Tajara into this mess? The DPRA, a festering nation wish wants the rigid and uniform lines of traditional society to be reinstated? Or, perhaps, the NKA are deluded comrades who only need to be shown the light of Hadiism, and the DPRA were former friends turned enemies through the untimely death of Hadii? It depends on her outlook, her history, her race, etc. 4. How does Marii view religion? Again, depends on her history and her fervor when it comes to Hadiism.

2502

I would rather not change the lore just to accommodate for a name. "Eridani Federation" is perfectly acceptable in my ears, a name of a country does not have to be exciting or interesting to serve its purpose.

The problem with the Trade Company is that it implies that it is just one company running Eridani, and that is not the case. The Federation makes more sense, because it is multiple corporations that are just working together (like a Federation).

It does exist in the Solarian Alliance, though it firmly acts as if it were its own entity. Though, on paper, it technically is a part of the Sol Alliance (I wouldn't use the term "owned"), and that could be grounds for a term such as zone. In the wiki, it is already referred to as "The Free Economic Zone of Epsilon Eridani", so after further thinking, I do not really see a problem with this rename. If it is useful, that is another discussion.

I like the Eridani Special Administrative Region. "Trade Zone" might confuse people more, as zone does not imply it holds independent authority. The term "Trade Zone" corresponds with Special Economic Zones that exist in real life, which are, as you expect, special trading zones that exist within the borders of a nation, controlled by that nation only. Zone implies it exists inside a larger entity, or is controlled by a large entity.

Well, the Jargon Federation is almost universally referred to as "the federation/Jargon", and the Eridani Federation is almost universally referred to as "Eridani", and plus, context can usually determine which country you are talking about. Both of them are technically Federations (Eridani with its corporations, Jargon with its federalized government system), so I am fine with leaving it as it is. This change seems rather superfluous. I've never seen this problem before in game or OOCly.

I added an edit giving some more clarification on what I would like to work on if I was on the team. I can give a more detailed answer if it is wanted.

Thanks for responding. As for it being canon, that is up for discussion with Sleepy/Shen if I get accepted. The purpose of this article is to be a continuation of the themes and events that led the arc involving the Hegemon and the Church which started in like Janurary. I am totally fine with this being non-canon, I treated this as chiefly a writing test. If it were to become canon, however, it would be cool to expand the events here into another arc for Unathi, more heavily dealing with the Church and the religion of Unathi. I would wait for the Aut'akh rework, however.

Ckey/BYOND Username: DeadLantern Discord Username Including #: DeadLantern#5679 Position Being Applied For: Unathi Lore Developer Past Experiences/Knowledge: Was a Dungeon Master for my friends in D&D 5e, but I am quite new. Am Whitelisted Examples of Past Work: Wrote Tajara Music Lore (https://wiki.aurorastation.org/index.php?title=Tajara#Music) Wrote Tajara Sports and Games Lore (https://wiki.aurorastation.org/index.php?title=Tajara#Sports_and_Games) Have written ½ of Unathi Martial Arts lore (WIP, not canon) (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Uf-7XQqKJwpcPcttpJlJtJhUZsxjX7zXL61D6qIEMw4/edit?usp=sharing) Additional Comments: I am going to use this space to lay out my intent with the Unathi Species (sort of like the first option for the application, but shorter). My main goal as a deputy would be to expand, not add. What do I mean by this? By expansion, I mean: Expanding on ideas in lore that are not fully fleshed out (such as Unathi Martial Arts, which is implied, or fleshing out the kingdoms that made up the Traditionalist Coalition that survived or died, or creating a music system as I did for Tajara), reworking some ideas that do not exactly make sense (such as the presence of Unathi in their current state in Dominian society), or making Unathi lore feel alive (stuff like arcs, frequent news updates, on station events, etc). If I were to become deputy, I’d like to focus on expansion in general, but most importantly the first and the last things I list out. Edit on July 7th: I would also like to add that I am also interested in expanding on reigonal culture and lore because, in my opinion, it is lacking. I would also like to rework the contact war (chiefly, to move back its date), but because of how important it is to the entirety of the Unathi race, it may not be possible. Also, I apologize for the length of the article. I got passionate. Editor’s note: Translated to Basic by human Sinta'unathi linguist. Body of Z’krazki Izweski Found in the Wastes; Si’akh Faithful prepare for Battle against Rogue Iron Masks Editors note: Translated to Basic by human Sinta'Unathi linguist. It was five months ago that the young Z’krazki Izweski swore an oath before the High Kataphract--an oath to uphold his honor and protect the innocent. Six days following this oath, he slew his father, the Hegemon. Nearly three weeks later, he became Guwandi, and after abandoning his palace and guards, marched into the Wasteland. After that, he became lost, and his fate became unknown. However, what is known is that Z’krazki was escorted into the desert after his shocking trial, accompanied by the most loyal guards to the Izweski bloodline. They departed Skalamar on a frigate, dropping him somewhere off on the western side of the Moghresian Sea. It has been four months since he took the mantle of Guwandi, and most people in the Wasteland and the Hegemony expected to never hear from the princeling again. That idea was shattered when Tehkra, a clan of only twenty-three, spotted a desiccated corpse off the starboard side of their crawler. The Tehkra had been expelled from their ancestral home of Teht by a brutish group calling themselves “The Three Heads”. The group is composed of deposed Iron Masks and other Sinta who wish to inflict harm upon the heretics which upset the balance of power on Moghes. The leaders of these 500-800 vengeful warriors were once the Chapter Masters of Teht, Razir, and Jaz’zirt. Saizkra Unaht, Ja’zai Kukutu, and Huron Heizea, Chapter Masters of Teht, Razir, and Jaz’zirt respectively aim to act out on their frustrations with the state of Moghes by mercilessly hunting in Si’akh quarters of villages and cities, moving under the shadow of night and striking quickly and exiting quicker. To those not affiliated with their organization, they are known as “The Butchers of the Southlands”. Their long-term goals relating to the Izweski Clan or former High Priest Unzi are unclear; they seem only interested in striking fear into the so-called demon cult. The Tehkra Clan had been firmly Th’akh before the Patriarch of the clan lay witness to Si’akh himself, after being hired to escort a dozen or so Sinta across the sea to Skalamar on his fishing boat. He was a quiet elder before, but after that brief time out at sea, his soul and mouth became warm with talks of Rapture and Sk’akh. It was not long before they officially converted, and began living with their fellow faithful. However, earlier this month, their small apartment building, nestled between refugee shelters, was raided by The Three Heads. They killed most anyone who was wandering around the area or in the building, dispassionate for age or creed. This was the sixth attack in the month, and the City Watch was either compliant or too busy to protect the Si’akh in the city. The Three Heads targeted the city following the rumors that the Prophet Si’akh escaped from Res’karum through the Res’karum Range and into the Moghresian Sea, instead of escaping directly into the Wasteland, which might have been monitored by the local authorities. To the faithful in Teht, they knew that these rumors were true, as the Prophet gave a rousing speech on the fifth of this month. The Tehkra suffered the loss of two grandchildren, one niece, and all three daughters (in relation to the Patriarch). Not wanting to suffer more, the hollow clan began to venture into the Wastes to reclaim and sell. It was not long until they sold most of their belongings and properly moved into a crawler. It was only three weeks in the Wasteland before they located the corpse of the Kingslayer, about two hundred kilometers away from Teht, a six-hour trip. Most in the clan, still clinging on to piety even in their desperate situation, wanted to take their vengeance out on the corpse, which clearly died to multiple attacks from a sort of crude club. His Skalamar-Forged sword, with the engraving “Family, Honor, Sk’akh” (though partly faded) lay near his naked and bruised body. The more impulsive of the clan readied themselves to leave the Crawler, but not before the Patriarch stated that “because Z’krazki fell in glorious combat, he regained all of his honor”. This stopped the younger of the clan until the brother of the Patriarch stood and appealed to his family: “Have you seen what those Sk’akh beasts have done to our people, our religion? First, the destruction of the Embraced Hegemon, and now the killing of our family?”. This roused the crawler, but not before the Patriarch implored: “What would Si’akh do?”. Following this question, the clan clambered aboard and started to drive back to Teht, so that they may ask the Prophet, not before taking pictures of the corpse to dispel any accusations that might be brought upon their honor. It was not long until the Tehkra clan made contact with Teht--The Prophet’s caravans and companions blended into the Si’akh quarter of the city, but to the faithful, they know who to ask and where to look. A few hours advanced when talk of The Three Heads passed, replaced with debates about the Kingslayer, with the recently dispersed pictures of his corpse causing quite a commotion. Some called for a burning of the body, in traditional fashion; others demanded a ransacking of the corpse; others still asked to leave the bodies in the wastes. It was not long before Juzida found out about the corpse. After some time in hiding, Si’akh made his first reveal to the public in months, since the incident with the Hegemon. One week after the diffusion of the news about Z’krazki, Juzida clambered on an old bench in the middle of the decrepit Si’akh quarter and told his faithful to gather anyone who would listen (including reporters from the Wasteland Window). After a sufficient gathering of people, and a brief meeting with the Tehrka clan and background to the audience, The Prophet began his speech. “As I stated before, the faithful Tehkra family happened upon the body of Z’krazki in the Cursed Wastes that haunt our damned race. Rage has swallowed the hearts of our compatriots, like the fools up in the Church, wading around in untruths and demonic forces. This is what I shall say: We are equally guilt-ridden. We all share the brunt of our sins, and no Sinta is defiled further, lest he consorts with lies and denial. Z’krazki, though he slew our beloved Embraced, has died and been born again. His corpse shall not be touched; it shall wither in the depths of its punishment in the Wastes.” The crowd stood in an idle murmur, waiting for The Prophet to restart his oration; yet, it never came. Instead, two Sinta with iron clubs escorted a shrouded figure, their horns burned to nothing. The figure was covered by various flame priests, repeating sacred words. The crowd was repelled by the moving party before it met with Si’akh. The party bowed, driving their claws into the ground. The figure was revealed--a child held by a priest! “Yes, indeed, like all of you one day, Z’krazki has been reborn.” The crowd erupted in wild surprise as the black hatchling was passed to Si’akh, cooing. “There lies a firmament, a divide between the realm of Sk’akh and the realm of Us. We pass in an infinite hell until mine and His wish is concluded. Z’krazki has returned, and hopefully, he shall listen to Our wish.” The Prophet held the child as if it came from the divines, the crowed gawking and gaping. The child began to cough, which prompted a fire priest to take the child. The party blended into the crowd, and all eyes went back to Si’akh. “It is our job to recover all the lost and raise them back in our fold. We are still missing Yakt, the one stolen by those who go against Her wish.” The crowd jeered, obviously roused by the startling revelations had that evening. “Still, they fight, even when expelled. The fool Unzi is allowed to escape, and The Three Heads and the remnants still fight with the demons. And they will fight forever until their souls are healed or stricken. Tonight, I shall not run. We shall not run. We stand our ground against The Three Heads. With my presence revealed, they will no doubt come and strike again. This time, we shall not run back into the Wastes. This time, we shall all become tireless workers and soldiers, like Sk’akh herself. You all shall become and create the fortifications; you all will be the spears and swords that achieve Our vision.” The rabble looked around, the crowd coming to a silent like no other. Children, women, and the disabled looked to the ground, and even some men seemed as if they did not want to fight. Most faithful were used to running, for that was how Si’akh was able to survive after all these years. Murmur turned to talk, and talk turned to nervousness. Si’akh, hissing softly, roared into the crowd. “I have received a vision, and only those with the will to handle it should take it! You all know the prophecy! After the vision is complete, Moghes shall turn into paradise, and we shall all rejoin in His glory. But do not expect mercy.” The crowd was once again hushed. The prophet flung his arms wildly in great zeal, continuing his sermon. “All those who fail to help the vision are to be smitten to hell, to become wandering demons cursed in a hell they shall never escape. If you fail to play your part, you will become no less than the demons that hound you! You shall all stay! You shall all stand! And then you shall fall! Run, and your punishment shall come when I am done, and your punishment will last for a thousand eternities. We will find our son, Yakt, and we shall repel the heathens that knock at our door.” The crowd looked at each other once again, but this time, they were filled with fervor. The silence was broken with hoots, and the celebration was amok. The Faithful celebrated, once again filled with the faith of their glorious prophet and with the coming of a new son, and with the willpower to find what they had lost. Those who slipped away did so without notice, but it was clear most stayed. We are actively monitoring the situation. Whether an attack comes from The Three Heads or any other group can not be foreseen; whatever the case, it is clear that the Si’akh faithful have been reinvigorated after their recent losses.

deaf people

There is not much you miss in Unathi lore, and the character shows enough knowledge of the lore to be accepted. Unless you want to answer questions about the character (Lupo wanted them), I'll leave my +1.

This is a good character framework, and your knowledge of the lore seems pretty good. However, you skim over a few parts of Unathi lore. Also, Aut'akh lore is being massively reworked, so keep that in mind. 1. What religion is Geiz? Religion is a controversial subject among Unathi, so his religion would also affect his opinion on other religions. 2. Sinta on Ouerea are usually more relaxed and more "in-line" with the rest of the Galaxy. How is this displayed in character? Does he have the same opinion on honor, on machines, or other things that are common with Unathi? 3. What country was your family from? One of the kingdoms in the Coalition? Were they Hegemonic? What is his view on how the Coalition was turned into Wasteland?

Kataphracts are servants of the Hegemony, first and foremost. Secondly, they probably would accept the IAC on one of their chapter ships. However, I do not think the IAC would even want to be on a Kataphract ship--they could do a lot better healing those in active conflicts on Moghes, where medical aid is probably more needed. But, I am all for the IAC being in the Kataphracts anyway. It is not impossible, just a little strange. Mechanics over lore, though. To be honest, the K'lax would probably produce some doctor Viax for the ships and give them some medical supplies, but I think you need a Vaurca whitelist to play a Kataphract K'laxan? I am not entirely sure on that part.

I do not think the IAC would be with rhe Kataprachts, considering the how much the Hegemony distrusts them. Also, why would they leave Moghes to heal a dozen of Kataprachts? They need to give support to as many people as possible, and placing the IAC on a random adventure ship chasing conflict is not the best way to go about healing unbiasedly.

The foundations of this app are good, and there are no overt errors in lore or in your understanding of the species. Mouv has one of the more interesting VRs, and it will be interesting to see how Teril deals with getting off the "high" of being able to dive into the world's source code, adjusting to normal reality. I am going to ask you some questions which will be relevant to on-station play and for the background of the character. 1. As you know, the C'thur are a client state to the Skrell. What is Teril's overall relationship with the Skrell? She obviously has a liking to AI and robotics, so how does that affect her opinion on Glorsh? Do they really care if the Skrell have reservations about Teril's interest? 2. What is Teril's opinion on the other Hives in the Orion Spur? With the C'thur and the Mouv brood especially being known as diplomats, does that affect her view on the Zo'ra and the K'lax? Additionally, what are her opinions on the Lii'dra? 3. Finally, you state that Teril will chiefly learnt he customs and mannerisms of the Humans. What is Teril's opinion on the other races in the Orion Spur? This includes the Skrell. Are they a great ally or a wary half-threat? Are the nations here just a stepping stone to get back to Sedantis, or can they make a real home here? Simply, how is the place and the people in the Orion Spur?

It is not minimal. There is a very clear difference between fully augmented Aut'akh and unaugmented Aut'akh, both on Moghes and in New Gibson. Necropolis was literally just a name change, and it was done ICly. No one plays Vox. ATLAS still technically exists. And you can still play shells, even if their lore is different. You literally can not play a fully augmented Aut'akh. This is much more than just a small rework. It is barring players from their characters where previously they could play them. The difference, mechanically and lorewise, is huge between unaugmented and augmented Aut'akh.

This point does not matter because characters were already made before the status quo. No matter your lore greivances, you can not just void characters from being a full Aut'akh. I honestly prefer having more unaugmented Aut'akh, but characters were already made. It is trashy just to force people to retcon their characters and their backstories or have them wait for the FBP PR to come. Why not just do both at the same time, and avoid this problem?