DeadLantern

I see your reasoning.

You've stated that there are too many moderators currently on Aurora station, yet you are applying for one. How do you justify this?

Firstly, M'sai sec officer is an old meme now. Secondly, I see a few problems. Yes, the village has many iron ore and that makes sense for both sides not wanting to destroy it. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't see fighting. In fact, it would be something worth fighting for. The whole village would probably turn into a battleground except for the mine bits, and even then the mines may get in the crossfire. It does not really matter if it is an improved or unimproved resource--Just that it is a resource. Any infrastructure that doesn't help with that resource is ready to be burned, and any vital infrastructure can be repaired. Maybe don't make it such a valuable place for ore, or make it in the mountains, something so it is not so advantageous to siege it. You also state that the region is constantly switching sides. This is fine, but NT personnel would certainly not risk their lives going into some frozen hellhole that is constantly switching governments just to look at some workers. Maybe some more touching up on the contact with NT. Regarding your notes. There are a surprising lack of flaws, and you don't need to know *all* the lore. I'm still finding new bits and pieces of the lore now. You just need the basics that apply to you, really. And I would agree with you on the boring part. It is very believable, probably happened to 50% of all Tajara living in Tau Ceti. But it's not exactly interesting, and you do not show off your character's personality too much. You already have all this lore knowledge, do something creative with it! Maybe he was a Rock Nomad, kidnapped by the ALA to fight wars, then contacted by his previous clan to come back, but found that his whole family went to work for NT or something. I don't know. You make the story!

The story is better. Much better. There are a few very small details you miss, like saying cattle instead of the native fauna of Adhomai. But this is a small nitpick.

I do not really understand why she is Njarir'Akhran at all. I doubt a Njarir'Akhran at this stage of Tajaran politics would be living poorly. Living in a village is somewhat pushing it, but still makes sense. I'd like an explanation on how a Njarir family is living in this village. Secondly, you don't reflect on the affects of the species differences in culture and story. You talk about it in what makes this species different, but you do not show it. Njarir'Akhran would go through racism and terrible hate crimes, probably. She also worships Ma'atke gods--This theoretically could happen, but again, I would like an explanation on how this set of things came to be. Other than that, the story is fine. It is possible that she is Njarir'Akhran and this is her story, but I'd like an explanation on how this came to be.

"[Books] were almost universally considered a symbol of oppression and luxury by pre-revolution Tajara," and considering this character was raised by pre revolution Tajara, I doubt they would let him read books.

It is fine, but there are a few problems. The mention of books raises alarms. Common Taj hate books because it's a symbol of oppression. Maybe if he was a child of a past Noble, it would make sense for him to be reading books, but as of now, he shouldn't be reading books. Secondly, why was he removed from the college? Did he just leave? Other than that the story doesn't show a fleshed out personality. I can't really derive character traits from this. Maybe think about why he is not averse to blood. Why does he go against his family. Why does he not join the military, etc.

While I can believe that someone who was sheltered from Glorsh would not believe in them, I don't think it's a good whitelist app. It's a bit like the whole cliche some years ago where Taj grew up with human parents and did not experience Taj culture. You don't show anything about Skrell culture which is very in depth. It is expected from a character like this, but then why apply with a character like this? You do not mention idols, the naming system, relationships, and religion. I'd prefer you apply with a character that acknowledges these things.

First problem, font is way too big. Other than that, the story is pretty imaginative. However, it's a bit unclear and is stretching the limits of reality at some points. Firstly, it is unclear on what side he fought on in the first revolution. I assume it is on the side of the nobles due to the mention of the king, but I do not know. And you lament of Hadii's forces coming in--wouldn't he be excited that nobility is ruling again? The shootings and executions were not very common until Hadii was killed. I find it hard to believe that a Tajara in their 40's (Taj can't work at 60) would be allowed to fight on the frontlines. I believe that he could be allowed into the army as a reservist, but no one would trust to rely on this old man in actual combat. Perhaps an artilleryman or other support role would fit more. You don't mention what job he got at NT. He is old and uneducated. I won't expect anything higher than cargo or janitor.

I like this. In the village, it's expected that people have lived there a long time. There would probably be children and be families. How will this be addressed? Are we going to go full lifeweb? Also, this shouldn't be a separate server. Maybe this can happen three times every week or something for a couple rounds. Also, there should be a limit on how many xenos there are. You would expect that many xenos in a frontier rural village. I would add another role, the journalist. Can be a xeno. Is there creating a documentary/news thing on the village or the NKA forces or whatever. It would be very easy for any xeno to be in this role.

I like the hivebot sprites, but the bears' seems too metallic. Like a robot.

Okay. There are a few problems. There is absolutely no way an absolute monarchy can be a colony government. In fact, it would just be a copy of the Sol Government, just on a smaller scale. It is ok for there to be a constitutional monarchy (like the Queen of England) but not that famous outside of this particular colony. The flag looks terrible. I do not mean to insult. As a fan of vexilology, it can be a bit disheartening if someone doesn't like a flag. But it commits a few major sins for flags: 1. There is an emblem (the sun in the middle) that is hard to draw and hard to spot from a distance 2. There is a flag within a flag, which just clutters the flag 3. There is incredibly small writing on the flag. There are worse flags that exist out there, but in this sci fi realm, we have the freedom to create the coolest flags.

There should be a mixture of both deconstruction and this system for the whole R&D experience. Perhaps, you remove the "review papers" option. Instead, you gain little insights once you deconstruct anything. Once you deconstruct, the machine can spit out something like "NT sees possible opportunities from this" or "This does not seem profitable" and you piece together of what may make a good Research paper. You can make the machine spit out wrong things, or slightly off things, to force the character to think and use strategy. And then, once you get a good research paper, you unlock new technologies that NT has given you a grant to pursue. Maybe this is how you progress the tech tree. You feed deconstruction machine things, upgrade its creating power, and get insights on if NT sees this as good. You formulate the best research paper you can, send it to Odin, and if it is good, then you get new special things you can make. If it is bad you get worse things or nothing at all. You could even limit the amount of papers you can send (3 or 4) so people don't just randomly guess. I think this is a very good idea.

There should be a way that engineering and sec could get in and out fast, maybe also an ID lock.

BYOND Key: DeadLanternTotal Ban Length: 1 weekBanning staff member's Key: GarnascusReason of Ban: SSDing without cryoing or notifying adminsReason for Appeal: My computer hard crashed, one of my internal components got loose. I had to fix that and it took well over an hour. It does not make sense for me being banned for something that was completely out of my control. I have been notified to PM staff members in the future if something like that happens again so I'll do that in the future.

They already climb faster, don't make Fowl lament further.

They can not see in the dark, however.

Or @Bygonehero's terminator suggestion.

The First Extrasolar war saw the mighty Sol Alliance break under tensions and splinter into the Coalition of Colonies. The war dragged on for a long 9 years, leaving colonies in ash and usurping the once mighty council that ruled the Alliance. Rebellion had smitten everybody's mind, and NT was there to supply a much needed advantage for each side: Arms. NT's benevolent hands reached down and granted experimental weapons to favor each side. Once the Interstellar War ended, the sales of Arms went to Adhomai, a snowy wasteland where an alien species fought over internal politics. It seemed that war was universal, and the flow of guns could not be staunched. Even now, guns find their way into every conflict, wedged into every official government and covert terrorist group, and every gun has the NT stamp on it, even if it is not visible. NT uses its own loyal employees upon their own stations to help let the guns rain down to those who state a high enough price. But today is the day those buyers rebel. On the NSS Aurora, there are many employees part of this company scandal. Both those implanted and those whose loyalty is above them is chosen as the dealer. Other employees have hidden the weapons--They may exist under the floorboards in a dark hallway, or in a chest in a maint shaft, or hidden in plain sight as a cargo drop off. It is the job of the singular dealer to get these weapons and store them in a safe place, whether that be in their satchel or in a vault. The dealer would expect to hold on to these weapons until the shift is over, to hand them off to another dealer. However, today their buyer has instead come to them. And they are fed up. Perhaps they are tired of the flimsy dealing networks that often result in their guns being mixed up and lost, or would rather not pay for the guns. ALA soldiers who desperately need the weapons, or the syndicate? Or has NT decided that they want the weapons back in their hands? A syndicate operation? The scourge of the Lii'dra? ATLAS agents? Rogue Tup Commandos? The Gun Runner must keep the guns safe until the shift, to get his promised money (which is quite the number). The buyers must find the guns, at all costs. How will the station play into this?

Yes, I know they are Canon, but things like changelings are not common knowledge. As you said, vampires would become common knowledge.

No, that's not what I mean. In the app burger implied that knowledge of the vampire disease would be somewhat common knowledge among the crew. It doesn't feel right that the crew non chalantly knows that a magical infectious disease exists. Edit: Sorry, Scheve said that, but Schev's point still stands along with mine.

What?! Of course not! You can always edit the app! And I'm not even a species maintainer. I'm just giving you my criticism. I'm not reviewing your app, Jackboot or someone else will do that. Edit the app now so when they review your app in 3 or 2 days you'll get the app you want.

There are a few problems with this app. Firstly, there's not enough on the "what makes this species different". You seem to focus on the wrong things. While there is ancestor worship, there are other facets of Unathi culture that you do not mention. Like the actual religions, or history, etc. Now you mention you character is blue. Being blue is very rare, akin to an albino human. Blue Unathi would be excluded and ostracized from society. They are seen as weird things that no one wants to touch. Now, the whole wanting to come back to his ancestor's ways is cool. But how does joining an off world company, as far from Moghes as you can be, to be some lowly security officer instead of a hunter or a tamer help him reconnect with his ancestors. More personality from the character would be great, too, the app is a bit short as it is.

You would have to change the vampire lore then, because literal magic and literal vampires are not something I want confirmed in the lore.

Ok, fine. But then can you at least add lore on how each avcent sounds in basic?