UncleJo's Moderator Application

[Sheeplets]

Basic Information
Byond Account: UncleJo
Character Name(s): Anya Orlova, and dozens of identical carbon copies with zero personality.
AI Name(s): N/A
Discord username + tag: Jo#7482
Age: Legal
Timezone: EST
When are you on Aurora?: This place has trapped my soul, I can never leave. I'm like a ghost haunting the place that I died, similarly to how Diggiez haunts LOOC, and how Gem doesn't even play.

Experience
How long have you played SS13?: Since ~2016-2017
How long have you played on Aurora: Since April of 2018
How much do you know about SS13 (Baystation build) game mechanics?: Too little for having been here for so long.
Do you have any experience moderating for an SS13 server?: Zero. By joining these ranks I'll only be selling off the last shred of dignity that I have left, basically for free.
Have you read through the criteria thread; https://forums.aurorastation.org/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=4198 - and believe that you mark off all the criteria?: Absolutely.
Have you ever been banned, and if so, how long and why?: Not from here. Not yet. Soon.

Personality
Why do you play SS13?: To secure valids.
Why do you play on Aurora?: To defend waifus.
What do moderators do?: Stickyban shitters and enemies of the state.
What does it mean to be a moderator for our server?: I am become Death, destroyer of balds.
Why do you want to be a moderator?: So the administration will stop hazing me into applying.
What qualities do you possess that would make you a good moderator?: A seething hatred for any and all vertical spacemen.
How well do you handle stress, anger, or insults?: Very carefully.

Anything Else You Want to Add:
This application only exists because Yonnimer has forced me to write it at gunpoint. This isn't an application, and it shouldn't be taken as one. It's a cry for help. Please help me.

 

[Pratepresidenten]

I think the qualities listed would indeed benefit the server. You have my vote. Death to verticality!

[Alberyk]

Unclejo's interview:

Spoiler

 

[geeves]

3 hours ago, UncleJo said:

Age: Legal

hello there m'jo

[BoryaTheSlayer]

+1 but unironically

 

 

Unless?..

 

 

 

Haha just kidding.....

 

 

But what if?......

[Doxxmedearly]

-1

Lying about your stance on vertical spacemen. Jo is way too focused on good RP and making enjoyable characters for me to support this mod app. You don't even main antag, or powergame constantly. How can I trust a mod to make judgements when handling Urist McAntagmain if they're not one themselves? Also this is clearly just a thinly veiled attempt to complete the ritual to leave the server. Nice try, jackass, now get back in that malf round. I bound you here as HARPI and you'll die when I say you can die.

[FreshRefreshments]

I have some clarifications to make on my Uncle, Jo. . .

/ me sniffles on the stand a little bit as he stares out to the crowd of people ready to haze my lovely uncle, Jonathan. I look to him and he is crying as well. He is holding up a sign begging for mercy and freedom. I look to the crowd, and I activate my darkness energy to silence them because they fear me and I see Jonathan is crying as well. "Heres the thing about my uncle Jonsen", I begin before suddenly crying on the spot. The memories of me and UncleJo battling for dominance are still. . .dare I say. . .Fresh. 

/ me clearly loses it a little bit but pulls myself together. "See. . .I have information that will lead to his saving!!!" I say it very loudly. The crowd screams and gasps but my darkness energy shuts them up once more and then AND THEN I make it grow a little bigger and mumble "dont forget what I can do. . ." before going on. "My uncle Jenson is a good guy!! You can tell because he doesnt let his honor be tarnished!!!! I said fuck you to him and he said-" 

/ me screams as UncleJo takes the microphone and begins beating me to death with it. "AAAAUUUUUGH AHOOOOOGA GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH ABABABABABAABAB AAAAAAAAA" I screech and holler as he dunks the microphone in fry oil to give it +5 fire damage. The audience laughs and eggs him on. "LoOk OuT fOr HiS dArKnEsS eNeRgY". And then, and THEN. UncleJo says something truly harsh. 

"more like beta energy :D" 

/ me 's tear ducts are crying big very big tearsrs asts i stypign htis hhfhghghf and wh why amnd i being dissresctpected innfiront of allt myyynfraindres MY FRIENDSSEW HHGHGF AND DSGGHGGH WHY DID YOU KILL ME ON THE STAND WITH A SPICY MICROPHONE YOU DIPPED IT IN CHILI POWDER TO GIVE IT AN BOMGNU BOOMGHP 

Maybe if you were NCIER TO ME YOUIU WERE KINDERT TO ME AND SENT ME WHGWAT I ASKED FOR IN 45 BILLION DOLLARS I WOULD NOT BE HERE NOW DISRESPECTING YOU AND MAKING A MOCKERY OF YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE FOUL, YOU ARE A CRETIN. YOU ARE SCUM ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE AND I AM SCRAPING MY BOOTS ON THE DOORMAT SO FUCKING HARD. YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST PERSON ON AURORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! / me screams loud enough to break all the windows, exposing us to space and sucking you out through a grate turning you into beef spageddy killing you instantly and i sit there crying as all my girlfriends surround me and stroke my hair letting me calm down and theyr smoking weed and they offer me a weed bunt but I say no I cannot inhale the smonk or else i'll truly become one with the ahooga babububububububu. They snicker at me and leave me in my vented isolation chamber. 

Not even my GRLFRIENDS STUCK AROUND, UNCLE JEB. YOU MADE ME LOSE MY WEED BUNT SMONINKM GIRLFRIENDS. YOU PLAY A DISGUSTING SELF INSERT BECAUSE YOU ARE GAMER????? FUCK YOU. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE VALID TO BE BORNE OF BLOOD AND BONE AND REBORN AS A DISCIPLE OF MODERATION??? WHEN YOU CANNOT EVEN MODERATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS WITH ME BECAUSE YOU SEND ME A VIDEO TITLED "DELICIOUS HEADCRAB ASMR". 

I DO NOT EVEN LIKE HEADCRAM. YOU KNOW I DONT. 

But its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine.  Its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine. Its fine.

     DO I LOOK ANGRFRYT TO YOU??? D:<<<<<<< NO I DO NOT. I AM DJUST A CALM BOY NOTHING WRONG HRER I DO NOT HATE YOU UNCLE JETSON. ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? DO YOU THINK MY BODY IS FUNNY?????

THATS IT. I'M GOOCOMITN G GENOCIDE ROUTE UNDERTALE ON YOU. 

AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH IM BECOMING A FERAL BEAST AND WHEN I FINISH MY DOG TRANSOFMROAITON I WILL KILL YOU. I WILL MAKE SURE ALL YOUR BONES ARE TURNED INTO WINDSHIELD WIPER FLUID AND YOU WILL DRINK FROM A GOBLET OF HORROR. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE AGAIN YOUNG MAN. EVERY WAKING MOMENT SHALL BE AN UNTOLD AGONY ON TOP OF THE PREVIOUS, ON LEVELS YOU NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THE RAPTURE. BECAUSE I AM ON MY WAY. AND I CANNOT BE STOPPED. 

 

 

 

+1

[NewOriginalSchwann]

I have some questions to see if you will be a good fit for the moderator team. There are no wrong responses here.

1). Did Thatcher have girl power?

2). Sfffjksfslnflsnafasfasf. Your response?

3). See image below

 

[Scheveningen]

snoooooooooooof

[Sheeplets]

6 hours ago, NewOriginalSchwann said:

1). Did Thatcher have girl power?

Yes, she did funnel money to illegal paramilitary death squads in Northern Ireland.

6 hours ago, NewOriginalSchwann said:

2). Sfffjksfslnflsnafasfasf. Your response?

You may be having a stroke.

6 hours ago, NewOriginalSchwann said:

3). See image below

I have.

[ShesTrying]

haha funny joke but if you don't apply for mod for real i will kill you

[Sheeplets]

1 hour ago, ShesTrying said:

haha funny joke but if you don't apply for mod for real i will kill you

 

[NewOriginalSchwann]

4 hours ago, UncleJo said:

Yes, she did funnel money to illegal paramilitary death squads in Northern Ireland.

You may be having a stroke.

I have.

This has  approval my application.

[Sheeplets]

22 minutes ago, NewOriginalSchwann said:

This has  approval my application.

Great. I'm hired.

[KingOfThePing]

Is this still open?