What wierd things have you done that was technically allowed?

[ben10083]

Disclamer 

Spoiler

This thread is just to list things you have done in the server that was borderline illegal and/or wacky but was allowed under policies. This is not a thread where someone says one thing then others slam the person for doing that thing. Please use character complaints for that purpose if you are so inclined.

Purpose of Thread: Rather simple really, post in this thread with things you have done which barely scraped by, things that make sec want to arrest you but you manage to avoid arrest due to wording or regulations, paperwork, etc. 

 

Examples:

A) Sometimes as a Roboticist if I am so inclined I would have the captain in that shift sign paperwork which authorizes me to claim any bodies which failed cloning, DNC, etc. for cyborgification. Did medical like it? Eh, depends on the death toll, but did I end up with a legion of SSD cyborgs? You bet I did. 

 

B) My roboticist is currently trying to gather data on exosuit weapons and plans to make a book about it (making some progress). The first round I did with this objective was blessed with competent RnD and mining, which allowed me to make some equipment and a combat mech. Sadly, there was a bomb in science conference room and sublevel was vented, and engineering said that they cannot repair it before the end of the shift. So here I am with my combat mech and my co-worker, and I am brainstorming how I can test these weapons still. Then it hit me. The holodeck of course! So I ask the Research Director for permission to use the holodeck as a weapons testing range, but they said I should ask the captain. The RD likely was thinking that the captain would never accept such a request and they wouldnt have to worry about it, but they underestimated the power of paperwork. Within 10 minutes I was able to convince the captain to stamp a executive permission form permitting the use of the holodeck as a weapons testing range, provided the RD was supervising and was the Head of Staff who signed it (liability issues I reckon). 

Victorious, I come to the RD where he signs the form and brings a monkey cube to the holodeck while I have my coworker bring a dropper with a beaker of water and I bring my mech. By now the shuttle was enroute to the station so we knew we had to be quick. So I grab 4 weapons (Machine gun, taser carbine, improv laser, gatling laser) and attach it to the mech. The RD makes a plea in common to clear the holodeck and we see people watching us from outside the holodeck to observe the test.  I fire the weapons and we record the damage it caused and their effects, and besides a few stray laser shots ending up outside the holodeck (we had the area below holodeck clear of people) and a stray shot that narrowly missed the gardener in hydroponics I was able to complete my testing. RD expresses his suprised I was able to do all this in LOOC, and we both laugh about it and discuss what is a superior combat mech for the rest of the shift.

Now you must be wondering, where was security? Well when we were testing our 2nd weapon (machine gun) the HoS likely heard the shot and ran into the holodeck demanding we stop and for me to exit the mech, likely for a arrest. The RD, me, and my coworkers all say at the same time how the captain approved it, I have a signed permission form, etc. The HoS ran out as soon as he came in, without a word.

 

Overall I am curious who else did things like this, and would like them to share it in this thread!

[Resilynn]

I accidentally turned Orlova into a monkey on extended once. 

 

We we spent the entire round running from security with this sad monkey, brought in science to get her back into a human body. 

[Carver]

On 08/10/2019 at 07:53, ben10083 said:

A) Sometimes as a Roboticist if I am so inclined I would have the captain in that shift sign paperwork which authorizes me to claim any bodies which failed cloning, DNC, etc. for cyborgification. Did medical like it? Eh, depends on the death toll, but did I end up with a legion of SSD cyborgs? You bet I did. 

Er, mild curiosity but.. how did that fly? NT wouldn't be legally allowed to do that as they don't own the bodies of crew. I'm not judging you for this but rather the Captain who would ever think that's allowed.

[ben10083]

10 hours ago, Carver said:

Er, mild curiosity but.. how did that fly? NT wouldn't be legally allowed to do that as they don't own the bodies of crew. I'm not judging you for this but rather the Captain who would ever think that's allowed.

No clue, its been almost a year IIRC since I last did it, so things changed, I dont do it anymore since I am focused on the mech thing.

[Brutishcrab51]

I once crashed the server by setting off four maxcap TTV's at the same time during a Siege round, as a Mercenary. @Alberyk led a Syndicate Strike Team that round and there was also a HAPT, after we defeated two ERT's in a row.

[ben10083]

I remember when the warehoue conveyor was added, someone fired a laser rifle and it went on the conveyor belt. The server REALLY didnt like that and grinded to a halt. I believe it took around 30 mins before they discovered what was causing the lag.

[Scheveningen]

https://youtu.be/xmrPVAENKuE

I made cool lights in science, space lubed departures because I was bored, and made a landing strip for anyone caught by the space lube. My partner in crime was Schwann.

[Hendricks]

I slapped Satan himself.

Edited October 15, 2019 by Hendricks

[sonicgotnuked]

I got two both with OOC perspective and IC perspective. Both technically allowed, by barely scraped by. 

 

OOCly, I screwed up a team of raiders with a shock drone. Don't do this. This is bad (and one of the reasons why I agreed to a nerf in general)

https://gyazo.com/f9fcc5ac85d604b224d877827aae48e2

ICly, as traitor RD, I ran a gaming experiment and had Fernando play Orion Trail Realism addition. It gibbed him, I got surrounded by sec, but I had paperwork at my disposal to eventually talk myself out of it.

 

[BRAINOS]

a cultist had preston pretty much cornered in the conference room.

right outside the window, with a sword, demanding he joins them to be sacrificed.

preston, being the shithead he is, is stalling for conversation while nervously chugging as much black coffee as he can forcefeed himself. it's not until he starts to visibly shake that the cultist realizes he's purposely stalling, and begins to charge in.

a sprinting unathi could not catch him that day as he ran for his life through maintenance. he got away.

[Kryostro]

Make Castralo

[Scheveningen]

7 hours ago, sonicgotnuked said:

I got two both with OOC perspective and IC perspective. Both technically allowed, by barely scraped by. 

 

OOCly, I screwed up a team of raiders with a shock drone. Don't do this. This is bad (and one of the reasons why I agreed to a nerf in general)

https://gyazo.com/f9fcc5ac85d604b224d877827aae48e2

ICly, as traitor RD, I ran a gaming experiment and had Fernando play Orion Trail Realism addition. It gibbed him, I got surrounded by sec, but I had paperwork at my disposal to eventually talk myself out of it.

 

I was the HOS in that gyazo gif. I wasn't moving as quick because I was laughing so hard at this situation and repeating "WTF" at my own screen.

[Guest Menown]

Made inflammatory remarks that I don't agree with OOCly because ICly I have to do what I'm told.

[Garnascus]

One time i made a mod app here as a joke and then a few years later i became headmin... 

[EvilBrage]

Murdered an entire manifest of 27 people. They died either by:

1. Killing themselves.
2. Knife to the gut.

[Natiform]

1 hour ago, EvilBrage said:

Murdered an entire manifest of 27 people. They died either by:

1. Killing themselves.
2. Knife to the gut.

i'm begging you to elaborate

[Carver]

Created an army of enraged adult slimes that terrorized the lot of a Wizard's constructs and kept him from being able to kill me, leaving me the only person alive in the crew. The Wizard was not happy with this and I bring it up whenever he says he killed the entire crew that round.

[Resilynn]

BRAINOS and I once joined a pair of certified shitters who created ‘combat lactate’, which got you beefed up, fast, and gave you horrible organ damage. We didn’t know about the organ damage. 

Anyway, we were all clad in denim and sweat bands and pink pompadours when we decided to prove the effectiveness of combat lactate by rescuing the captain from a wizard. 

This largely entailed rushing the wizard with our pink pompadours, screaming “it’s herbal!”, and pummeling the wizard to death with our fists. 

The captain thanked us profusely and agreed to invest in combat lactate. 

And then most of us died of organ failure. 

[canon35]

Made a ThunderDome right next to arrivals. I figured it'd be a nice change up for extended, give people who want to fight something to do, and provide medical some work to keep them busy. 

No screenshots sadly, but it was about a 12 by 6 tile room with glass all around, viewing areas, and a small area for my Unathi, his on guard medic, and a officer aiding in stopping fights for sit in. We had a few fights, then it got shut down when Ana had a fit and some crew died (One got cloned and came back to defend me, one got reconstructed and went back to their business.). Our set up was designed to prevent people from actually dying but accidents happen. 

I got no idea how I didn't wind up getting shit for this and Karnaikai eventually went back to Moghes and doing what he does best. Getting high and fucking around with machine parts. 
 

[EvilBrage]

10 hours ago, Natiform said:

i'm begging you to elaborate

Back in 2014 or 2015 I rolled wizard and got it in my head that... rather than pop onto the station and begin murdering crew with fireballs and magic missiles, I would simply hand them a knife and kindly ask them to kill themselves. Some of them obliged, so I turned them into artificers and had them set up a base for me. Stunned ISD when they tried to come along and detain me, tied them to chairs, offered them the same choice - it was about 25/75 in favor of just getting stabbed in the gut to facilitate the rise of Dark Kingdom of Cargonia.

This was before I discovered it was much more fun to create my own ID and pretend to be the captain.

[ben10083]

I remember my first time getting emagged as a drone, the person ordered me to fuck with tcoms, I do that for a bit, then I hear the radio that the traitor (the guy who hacked me) was arrested, so I ran over to brig and went to him. His face lights up and yells for me to get him out of there, I quickly oblige and help fend off the warden from stopping us (this is back when drones had a plasma cutter). Later on, the traitor gets cornered and dies to a officer and HoS, so I decide to avenge my masters death by killing them both. 

So I decided to make it my mission to try to have someone clone my master, but what I wasnt aware of is that drones talking cannot be understood by mere mortals, so here I am cornering a nurse trying to have them take the body, and at that time I learned that you cant use a aim with weapon modules, and end up shooting the nurse. I was prepared to chase after them when I notice that the officer who killed my master was cloned and he was being brought to cryo cell when the doctor sees me. The doctor does the sensible thing and leaves the officer and runs, and I finish the officer off again (when he saw me the officer was like "No! Not again!" while the doctor ran off). By now I release that I am dangerously low on power, so I try to run over to robotics, but everything was locked down by now and I end up running out of power.

In Dchat, the traitor was praising me for being "the best emagged synthetic I ever had" and in ooc EOR people were talking about "The Maint drone from hell" who killed security and shot up medbay.

That was the beginning of the period where I mained maint drones.

[SampleTex]

I once lynched pun pun on the construction level with Klavdiva as nikit. The only reason it's non canon was because yonnimer as a ghost flew in because it was a cult round and they were making ghosts visible.

Me and another roboticist made patented combat ripleys after overhearing the mercenaries were getting a bit violent and going department to department. We didn't want to get hurt and ended up accidently teleporting someone into space iirc. I escaped via the wormwhole generator after abandoning my mech and hid in the science subfloor.

One of my characters was a kleptomaniac and managed to steal so much shit one round he needed to make a stash for a shift (he was stealing money from cigarettes machines and stealing cigars)

I once accidently ignited a hallway with telescience. This was back before the nerfs or telescience calculators being a big thing

[Seeli]

I was emagged as maintenance drone and told to "cause chaos". Didn't know what that meant, so I ahelped "is it ok if I just rip up floor tiles, furniture and lights?" or something like that. Get the ok.
Proceed to rip up every single floor tile from aft hallway, to central, to medical and to the bridge. Ripped out a bunch of lights along the way and completely dismantled all the furniture I found (not computers/equipment), including the captain's office. I was chased by crew, especially the engineers and doctors who reeeeally hated my tile ripping.

I fixed a few breaches caused by the more extreme maintenance drones... then ripped up all the floor tiles while the room refilled. Good times.

Should probably mention I went through security too, and I revisited areas I had been through. Even ripped up tiles RIGHT BEHIND people putting the tiles back, only to be chased out.

Edited October 19, 2019 by Seeli

[Bear]

That fucking drone. I remember that

[Contextual]

Here's a Pennant story. It's a bit of a long one, as it involves 1. Pennant and 2. Extended.

~~
Extended. Pennant boots up from storage, goes through its startup routine, and analyzes the manifest for tasking. All departments are staffed, but no names on the list stick out to the diminutive robot. None aside from Oliver Roadman, that is, whom has previously owned the pAI iteration of Pennant. So, Pennant scuttles over to engineering, to find Oliver mulling over activities for the day with Mistress, who was his pAI at the time. The decision is made--controlled burn testing. The purpose of the tests was and is still beyond Pennant's simple understanding, but the method was simple--and so, Pennant went engineering.

This eventually wound up with Oliver and Pennant in the Toxins lab beneath Research, retrofitting the chambers. In one, piping was set up and modified to allow for a controlled mix of Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Phoron. The other, a welder tank was opened and left to leak fuel into the entirety of the chamber, before being removed. These chambers, of course, were not originally designed to be accessed and modified, so we had to take down the windows and make airlocks out of inflatables. They were also not equipped with gas analyzers, so Pennant had to monitor the composition of the phoron mix from inside of the chamber. Initial burns were smooth. Supply of gas to the phoron mix was cut, as the fire grew too hot too quickly, and burned itself out. The welder fire burned slow and cool, heating up at a glacial pace, and was left to its devices. However, one anomaly had occurred.

Sheets of paper, left in the chambers to burn, did not alight, despite the temperatures gradually reaching several thousand degrees Kelvin. Mistress, Oliver, Pennant were all perplexed. And so, Pennant went to go get a different subject, silently skittering out of the room as Oliver scratched his hardsuited head at the circumstance. Luckily, the xenobiologist, SSD in his lab, had left not only a monkey cube unboxed and unwrapped, but also a shower running. On second thought, they may have been dead, laying in the floor outside of a pen as they were--but it was irrelevant. The monkey was acquired. Pennant hauled it back to Toxins, presenting it proudly to the Chief Engineer... and was met with disbelief. While Mistress approved, Oliver certainly did not. "We are not burning a monkey," he stated, flatly. He directed Pennant to let the monkey go...

The airlock was already closing when Oliver realized what was happening. He didn't make it to the door in time, and the bolts dropped in front of his face as Pennant dragged the monkey out into its natural habitat, where it could live free amongst its brethren. That is to say, the monkey was released into the wilds of the asteroid, nevermore to be exploited by the cruel corporation.

Pennant looked absolutely proud of itself as it strolled back in. Oliver just tried to ignore the horror behind the little machine's ignorance, and restarted the burn chambers. This time, the phoron mix was stable, and burned nicely. That is, of course, until several minutes later, it inevitably became too hot, and began to damage the windows--Pennant was ordered to open the blast chamber doors, which would vent the superheated gas, the fire, and the pressure into space. A click, and it was done--the blast doors opened.

In that split second of simulation, before the gas rushed into space, there was a glimpse of the monkey. Of the bloody corpse, fingers worn to the bone where it had desperately clawed at the outside of the blast doors, until it collapsed from suffocation and depressurization. The second passed, and the monkey was gone, hurtled bodily out against the far outer wall of the facility, where it became pinned, buffeted by undulating, superheated currents, its already grotesquely deformed body mangled, slammed, crushed, and snap-fried by venting gas in excess of eight thousand degrees Kelvin. Pennant was delighted--it had been homesick!

Oliver was, of course, further mortified, and his opinion did not improve as Pennant hurriedly rushed through the inflatable barriers to drag the monkey back into its proper home, welcoming its worn and weary form back into the fold. He stared at the monkey, and finally broke, agreeing to burn the poor thing, to cremate it in one of the chambers. Pennant gave a little shuffle, and dragged the thing into the welder chamber, which had been similarly extinguished. There was an issue, however, when the room was re-lit.

The temperature had not gone down. So hot was it, that the chamber was still in excess of four thousand degrees, even after being exposed to the vacuum of space for well over a minute. The windows began to crack shortly, even as the monkey was engulfed in the inferno--but the chamber had to be vented, or the entire laboratory was at risk. The blast doors opened, and every single thing in the lab was vented to space. Every single thing, that is, except for the monkey, which remained firmly planted, its sprite wholly and utterly replaced with brute and burn damage decals, a messy pile of gory maroon with a curly tail sticking out of it. Its skin and flesh had grafted to the floor of the chamber in a sort of macabre adhesion, and Pennant buzzed. The thing was surely dead, now, and needed to be disposed of. The robot enters the chamber, vented to space, and applies its matter decompiler. There's a squealing crunch is horribly muted in the encroaching vacuum, as the tail is sucked into the device, only for the decompiler to choke. The monkey is too large. The process is reversed, atomized chunks of monkey blown out of the device's orifice onto the pile of what once was the remainder, and Pennant looks to Oliver for guidance. Except, Pennant couldn't hear Oliver, being that it was in space--and so, ripping the monkey from the floor (leaving a sizable amount of unrecognizable flesh and char behind), Pennant drags the monkey back inside.

Oliver is growing nauseous now. He orders Pennant to take it to Xenobiology, to cremate it, and Pennant clicks. It skitters away, dragging the monkey along, painting the floor deep red behind it. It makes it all the way into the bowels of Xenobiology, to the incinerator, before realizing--it doesn't have hands. It can't operate the incinerator, can't get the monkey into the tile it needs to actually insert it. So, the monkey is dragged back to Toxins behind it, along a different path, leaving even more blood behind. Pennant drags it right up to Roadman and explains the situation. Roadman is... frustrated, to say the least. However, he follows Pennant as it takes yet another path to the lab. Now, the entirety of the research sublevel is absolutely, irrevocably coated in monkey blood. There's more blood in the halls than you'd ever believe could fit inside of a single monkey. I am of the belief that, had we fluid simulation, any hapless researcher opening the elevator doors would have been greeted by an ankle-high tide of monkey ichor.

The monkey is laid to rest, reduced to ashes. Oliver is not happy. He orders Pennant to go, find the roboticist, get a reset, and to clean up the hellacious mess. So, Pennant sets off on yet another quest. It shares the elevator up to the main level with the xenobotanist, who makes an offhand comment about how tricky k'ois is. He coughs.

Pennant prints off a reset board, but the roboticist is nowhere to be found. Cue five straight minutes of Pennant wandering aimlessly through the station, the bar, security, medical. The roboticist is nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, code yellow is called. There's a mycosis patient, apparently. If only someone could have known sooner. More people may be infected. Mining isn't online. No platinum produced. Pennant leaves the reset chip in the hall, as the chemist calls out for Cardox, but there is none. No platinum, no Cardox. So, thinking fast, Pennant skitters off to the vault, dismantling the windows within and hauling out a locker full of grenades. It presents them cheerily to the CMO, who seemed perplexed, but too relieved to even ask where the robot had acquired them from.

But there was a problem. Someone had broken into the vault. It must be reported. Pennant tracks down the Head of Security, and cheerily reports in its broken, lilting, synthesized speech that someone had broken in. The HOS, of course, nearly births and entire cow right there in the middle of the hallway. They ask who, who had done this--only for Pennant to matter-of-factly inform them that it was, in fact, Pennant who had done so. Cue a brief exchange, asking if the CMO had asked Pennant to do this--they had not. They also, apparently, did not inform the HOS that the grenades had been acquired. Pennant left the HOS with the thought, its report complete, and finally locates the roboticist.

It reports back to toxins, after cleaning the blood, where the CE had been chair-rping with his pAI for the duration, apparently uninterested in walking the main halls during a mycosis scare. He's just as surprised, taken aback as the HOS had been when it tells him, and it seems that the HOS had neglected to bring the topic up even after Pennant had informed them directly. No matter, Pennant was happy to attempt to collect praise for its helpful nature--praise was not forthcoming. At this point, the shuttle was arriving soon, and Pennant toddled along after Roadman to the shuttle.

Pennant rode in the bridge of the shuttle all the way to the Odin, with the CE, the HOS, and the CMO. They asked, once, why Pennant was riding along, but dropped it immediately. They collectively agreed that, if something was wrong with Pennant, it was probably best to just let it be.
~~